What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds Mature.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.
Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
Why do men want to mary virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
What do you have whan you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind.
2. No business
How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when he's coming, how many
inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
Did you hear about the banker who's a great lover?
He knows first-hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
Why are men like laxatives?
They irritate the shit out of you.
If men got pregnant....abortion would be available in convienience stores and drive through windows.
Why do men name their penises?
They want to be on a first-name basis wit the person
who makes all their decisions.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because they already have boyfriends.
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it?
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside
What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
How do men sort their laundry?
"Fifthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
(Although some still will)



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