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Thread: For those of you heading back to campus shortly...

  1. #1
    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default For those of you heading back to campus shortly...

    Seniors vs. Freshmen

    Freshmen: Are never in bed past noon.
    Seniors: Are never out of bed before noon.

    Freshmen: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they can cut.
    Seniors: Read the syllabus to find out what classes they need to attend.

    Freshmen: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
    Seniors: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mtn. Dew into a recitation class.

    Freshmen: Calls the professor "Professor."
    Seniors: Calls the professor "Bob."

    Freshmen: Would walk ten miles to get to class.
    Seniors: Drives to class if it's further than three blocks away.

    Freshmen: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
    Seniors: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade.

    Freshmen: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university.
    Seniors: Knows where the next class is. Maybe...

    Freshmen: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.
    Seniors: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand.

    Freshmen: Have to ask where the computer labs are.
    Seniors: Has 'own' personal workstation.

    Freshman: Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.
    Senior: Starts to think about buying textbooks in October... maybe.

    Freshman: Looks forward to first classes of the year
    Senior: Looks forward to first beer garden of the year

    Freshman: Is proud of his A+ on Calculus I midterm
    Senior: Is proud of not quite failing his Complex Analysis midterm

    Freshman: Calls his girlfriend back home every other night
    Senior: Calls Domino's every other night

    Freshman: Is appalled at the class size and callousness of profs
    Senior: Is appalled that the campus 'Subway' burned down over the summer

    Freshman: Conscienciously completes all homework, including optional questions
    Senior: Offers to 'tutor' conscientious frosh of opposite sex...

    Freshman: Goes on grocery shopping trip with Mom before moving onto campus
    Senior: Has a beer with Mom before moving onto campus

    Freshman: Is excited about the world of possibilities that awaits him, the unlimited vista of educational opportunities, the chance to expand one's horizons and really make a contribution to society
    Senior: Is excited about new dryers in laundry room

    Freshman: Takes meticulous four-color notes in class
    Senior: Occasionally stays awake for all of class
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  2. #2
    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:For those of you heading back to campus shortly...

    How to Write a College Paper

    1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

    2. Check your email.

    3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

    4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.

    5. Check your email.

    6. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonald's and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you her paper, typed, double-spaced and bound in one of those irritating see-thru plastic folders, drop her.

    7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

    8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

    9. Check your email.

    10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

    11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

    12. Listen to one side of your favorite tape and that's it, seriously, as soon as it's over you are going to start that paper.

    13. Listen to the other side.

    14. Check your email.

    15. Rearrange all of your CDs into alphabetical order.

    16. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the college, the world at large.

    17. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

    18. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue; savor their special flavor.

    19. Check your email.

    20. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from Masterpiece Theater to “Sgt. Preston of the Yukon� is truly worthwhile, with these exceptions:
    a) Pro Bowlers Tour
    b) any movie starring Don Ameche

    21. Catch the last hour of “Soul Brother of Kung Fu� on Channel 26.

    22. Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he was watching. Discuss the finer points of the plot.

    23. Check your email.

    24. Look at your tongue in the bathroom miror.

    25. Look through your roommate's book of pictures from home. Ask whoeveryone is.

    26. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

    27. Open your door and check to see if there are any mysterious, trenchcoated strangers lurking in the hall.

    28. Check your email.

    29. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

    30. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.

    31. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

    32. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

    33. Check your email.

    34. Leap up and write the paper.

    35. Type the paper, and while you're at it, check your email.

    36. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that darn paper.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  3. #3
    Veteran Member SexyJess's Avatar
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    Default Re:For those of you heading back to campus shortly...

    Verfolgung, these are HILARIOUS! As a senior in college in my final semester, I can definitely relate to these, especially the "I stayed up all night writing my paper" thing, hahahaha. I just went to class in sweats and no make up, and I'm arguing with myself over whether it's really necessary to attend the first day of my next class.
    *Sigh* I'm sure I'll go.....

  4. #4
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    Default Re:For those of you heading back to campus shortly...

    Ack. I just went back today.
    I go in sweats and tshirts too SexyJess! I really don't care what those people see me in. I just can't muster the strength to do my hair and makeup and don the perfectly "in" clothes like all the other girls do.



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:For those of you heading back to campus shortly...

    Stepson is going to college.

    "Get the fuck out...good luck...better have yer own bail."
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  6. #6
    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re:For those of you heading back to campus shortly...

    The best thing about grad school is undergrads.

    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  7. #7
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    Default Re:For those of you heading back to campus shortly...



    I stocked up on MAC for back to school.


  8. #8
    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re:For those of you heading back to campus shortly...

    I showed up to my first statistics lecture without a calculator or book, I'm sophomore or something [44 credits acquired over 3.5 years]. heehee. I went back on Monday, I just get to experience lab tomorrow and set up my online psych class. dernit, I forgot about that diagram I'm supposed to have drawn. It's a good thing I have a lot of long car trips in the future, bf can harass me to study occasionally.
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

  9. #9
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    Default Re:For those of you heading back to campus shortly...

    I don't even know when classes start. I thought it was Sept. 7th, then was convinced by my mother it was August 30th, then was told by somebody else it was the 31st. That reminds me, I should just check out their site surely it will say on there. Plus I'm meeting with the curriculum coordinator today to finally get plugged into some classes so I suppose I could just ask her.

    But dammit I'll look good when I get there! No schlep rock for me!!!!!!


  10. #10
    Senior Member maia13's Avatar
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    Default Re:For those of you heading back to campus shortly...

    Today's my first day of class. I'm finally going back!

  11. #11
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    Default Re:For those of you heading back to campus shortly...

    BLah! I have homework!!
    And because I'm taking a few classes from the same professor, all of my tests are on the same day! Yuck.

    I hate school.



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

  12. #12
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    Default Re:For those of you heading back to campus shortly...

    oh I love school! Campus life is great.


  13. #13
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    Default Re:For those of you heading back to campus shortly...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphire link=board=1;threadid=12576;start=msg163774#msg163 774 date=1093476062
    oh I love school! Campus life is great.
    Oh I envy you!!! Where do you go? You can pm me if you don't want the world to know. I think I want to transfer aways from the UofA.



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

  14. #14
    Veteran Member Gerina's Avatar
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    Default Re:For those of you heading back to campus shortly...

    Ah, I just graduated, wish i could be back already. Oh, and seniors don't offer to tutor members of the opposite sex - I had a guy ask me to tutor him! My freshman year i was taking a gen chem course and this frat guy who was taking the class for the second time came up to me on the first day and asked me to tutor him. Totally fed my ego, I was bragging about how i had just finished the AP course which was the same thing ::sigh:: Ah, the good days when it was cute older men trying to get into my pants.
    ...and the day came, when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became worse than the risk it took to blossom.

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