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Thread: RI Jokes .... (For Rhiannon)

  1. #1
    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default RI Jokes .... (For Rhiannon)

    State Moto's:

    Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

    Rhode Island: Size ain't everything

    Rhode Island: Nobody famous came from Rhode Island

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Dumb Rhode Island Laws:


    Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void. -SECTION 11-40-1
    (UH OH SORRY RHI?!?)

    It is illegal to place a windmill within twenty-five (25) rods of any traveled street or road. (What's a rod?)

    Professional sports, except ice polo and hockey, must obtain a license to play games on Sunday. (What's so special about ice polo and hockey?)

    Rhode Island recently applied to the US Government to make all the coastal waters of Rhode Island a "No Discharge Zone". The ostensible purpose was to prohibit the discharge of sewage by boats into the state's waters. However, discharge of raw sewage into the state waters was already illegal. What the "No Discharge Zone" actually did was make it illegal to discharge TREATED sewage from a boat into state waters. What now happens is that boats (whose treatment systems far outperform municipal sewage treatment plants) are now required to disable their sewage treatment systems, and carry their sewage to a shore-based facility, which then dumps the partially treated sewage back into Rhode Island's coastal waters.


    It is illegal to challenge someone to a duel, or accept a duel, even it it is never actually fought. Penalty: Imprisonment for one to seven years.

    Riding a horse over any public highway for the purpose of racing, or testing the speed of the horse is illegal. Penalty: Maximum $20 fine and imprisonment for 10 days.

    Exercising any labor, business, or work, or using any game, sport, play, or recreation, or causing any of the above to be done to or by your children, servants, or apprentices on the first day of the week (Sunday) results in a penalty of $5 for the first offense and $10 for the second.

    It is illegal to coast downhill in your car with your transmission in neutral, or with the clutch disengaged.

    It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.

    --------------------------------------------------------
    Dumb RI Town Laws:

    Newport

    You cannot smoke a pipe after sunset.


    Providence

    It is illegal to wear transparent clothing. (Yet there are 9 SCs in the city so it must be fine to wear no clothing! )


    You may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday. (Hey it's one or the other buddy)
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  2. #2
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:RI Jokes .... (For Rhiannon)

    LMAO!!

    Quote Originally Posted by verfolgung link=board=1;threadid=12726;start=msg164410#msg164 410 date=1093542974
    Riding a horse over any public highway for the purpose of racing, or testing the speed of the horse is illegal. Penalty: Maximum $20 fine and imprisonment for 10 days.
    So, what happens to the rider if they fine and imprison the horse? LOL

    Exercising any labor, business, or work, or using any game, sport, play, or recreation, or causing any of the above to be done to or by your children, servants, or apprentices on the first day of the week (Sunday) results in a penalty of $5 for the first offense and $10 for the second.
    However, after the 2nd offense, you may do this as much as you like...

    It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.
    Of course, throwing pickles is just fine.

    Newport

    You cannot smoke a pipe after sunset.
    Which is why you call it a "bong".

    You may not sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday. (Hey it's one or the other buddy)
    Well, what the hell...buy the toothpaste and a toilet brush...same thing.


  3. #3
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:RI Jokes .... (For Rhiannon)

    LOL Verfolgung!

    I think I'm totally screwed with that first law! Should I tell him, or let him go on thinking that our marriage is legit? Hahahaha!

    I'm printing these out.. Thanks! LOL


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    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:RI Jokes .... (For Rhiannon)

    No problem, I thought they might be good for a giggle.

    Nah, I say string him a long, what he doesn't know won't hurt him. j/k
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:RI Jokes .... (For Rhiannon)

    LOL He was laughing his butt off at the toothbrush/toothpaste law though. That's too funny!


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    Default Re:RI Jokes .... (For Rhiannon)

    So if I were to go back to Providence (fat chance) and attempt to buy toothpaste and a toothbrush on a Sunday, would the register beep or something and force the checker to make me put one back? Or would the security alarm at the door go off?

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  7. #7
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:RI Jokes .... (For Rhiannon)

    LOL B..

    I think I'm gonna try this Sunday, just for shits and giggles. I want to see if they'll wrestle me to the ground or something. hahaha


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    Featured Member discretedancer's Avatar
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    Default Re:RI Jokes .... (For Rhiannon)

    Don't forget the law in Tiverton that (I think) is still on the books: Whipping (not the good kind, too bad) of your wife is legal IF THE TOWN WHIPPING POST IS IN PLACE.

    Some wives ripped it out of the ground in the late 1800's, but the spot where it stands (center of Gray's Ice Cream parking lot on main st in Tiverton RI) is still marked off and I think still town property.

    OUCH!


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    Default Re:RI Jokes .... (For Rhiannon)

    rod (rd)
    a traditional unit of distance equal to 5.5 yards (16 feet 6 inches or exactly 5.0292 meters). The rod and the furlong were the basic distance units used by the Anglo-Saxon residents of England before the Norman conquest of 1066. The Saxons generally called this unit the gyrd, a word which comes down to us as the name of a different unit, the yard. "Rod" is another Saxon word which meant just what it means today: a straight stick. The Normans preferred to call the gyrd a pole or a perch (a word of French origin, meaning a pole; see perche). The length of the rod was well established at least as early as the eighth century. It may have originated as the length of an ox-goad, a pole used to control a team of 8 oxen (4 yokes). Scholars are not sure how the rod was related to shorter units. It may have been considered equal to 20 "natural" feet (actual foot lengths; see foot), or it may have been measured "by hand" as 30 shaftments. In any case, when the modern foot became established in the twelfth century, the royal government did not want to change the length of the rod, since that length was the basis of land measurement, land records, and taxes. Therefore the rod was redefined to equal 16.5 of the new feet. This length was called the "king's perch" at least as early as the time of King Richard the Lionheart (119. Although rods and perches of other lengths were used locally in Britain, the king's perch eventually prevailed. The relationship between the rod and the other English distance units was confirmed again by the Parliamentary statute of 1592, which defined the statute mile to be either 320 rods or 1760 yards, thus forcing the rod to equal exactly 5.5 yards or 16.5 feet.


    and on an interesting side note if you're from R.I :
    Rhode Island
    the smallest state of the U.S., Rhode Island has long served as an informal unit of area in statements such as "an iceberg 1.5 times the size of Rhode Island has broken off from Antarctica." Rhode Island has a land area of about 1045 square miles or 2706 square kilometers. Europeans might note that Luxembourg (2586 square kilometers) provides a comparable unit.

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    God/dess montythegeek's Avatar
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    Default Re:RI Jokes .... (For Rhiannon)

    Blade,
    I won't touch that with a .60606060606060606060606060606060606060606060 ad infinitum rod pole.

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re:RI Jokes .... (For Rhiannon)

    hahahaha

  12. #12
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:RI Jokes .... (For Rhiannon)

    LOL DD, I've heard all about the whipping post.. Too funny!

    Blade, I know we're small dammit! "Size doesn't matter", right? heh!

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