Couple weeks ago I met a sweet, seemingly well adjusted, and very attractive young woman a club (not a strip club) near the beach in Santa Monica. Very nice place. We hit it off big, and have been out twice since then. Things were looking great, until she told me she had a second job as a dancer. I paused, then asked her, "As in dancing *in* 'Sunset Boulevard' or ... at a club *on* Sunset Blvd."
She gave me a less than thrilled smile at my joke, then responded, "I don't recall any dancing in 'Sunset Boulevard'."
I said, "I see.... " Nodding my head in search of some divine inspiration on how to respond to this.
She asked if I'd ever dated a dancer before. I hadn't dated any strippers, but I said, "I dated a ballet dancer once. She had a full set Russian baggage. Her baggage clashed with mine." [True] This successfully changed the topic to Russians immigrating to LA in large numbers, and somehow picking West Hollywood as their base camp.
The evening ended warmly but with less enthusiasm from me. I had no idea what intimacy meant to her. I had numerous other images in my head that were confusing me. Obviously sensing this, she looked me in the eyes, holding onto my hands, "B___, is my dancing going to be a problem for you?" I shook my head, "God I hope not. I'll call you tomorrow, promise. I have an appearance in the morning. I'll call you when I get out." Some tentative affection was exchanged, and I left to drive home, thoroughly freaked out. I didn't know whether I had hit "the motherload", or a load of headaches. So of course I turned to the internet for help, which brought me to stripperweb.com.
I posted in this forum, hoping to both contribute and recieve advice. I was hoping to learn from your stories and get specific advice, and contribute in any way I could. I have not seen any postings about my particular situation. If this is a well covered topic, I apologize. The archive of postings in this forum is quite large.
Couple more quick facts: I do not know where she works or the type of club, yet. She's 25 (she says). I'm 35. She claims toalso work as paralegal. I believe her. This is too easy to check.
So, after reading hundreds of your postings, I'm much worse. The worst part was reading stories of rampant mistreatment of dancers, from the foul and offensive customer, to small peckered vice cop harrassment, to rape. The best part was reading the very high level of professionism, intelligence, and humor, common to almost all contributing dancers here. It seems that much like more mainstream professionals such as physicians and lawyers, an emotional connection other than friendship with the client is a recipe for almost sure disaster. This is how physicians can cope with patients that die, or lawyers deal with clients that lose their house or end up in the clink.
So with the promise that I will contribute and offer insights whenever I see an opportunity, here's my query:
Can I trust her? If SS (stripper shit) works so well inside the club, why shouldn't she be using it habitually outside the club? I get the feeling most strippers could pass a lie detector test easier than an eye exam.
Should I bother even trying? If I have doubts, do we have any chance? I can deal with what's in her past. I would want her to stop dancing soon, however. I don't want to be controlling or take away her independance, but the safety and gross factors would have me tripping nightly. Unlike troublemaker's SO, however, I have more than enough means to provide for the income loss, including giving or getting her a job at the same pay rate.
Yet I have no desire to be a sugardaddy.
I'm pretty sure I do not want to visit her during her working hours. I'm guessing she may have a problem with this also.
One option I've thought about is to have a very accelerated romance. I take her to Europe for two weeks, and if it works, we get married in Vegas upon return. She moves in....happily ever after. [with prenup, of course] I have to give ABC credit for this idea. ABC's version is 1 W / 4L I think. Not good odds.
Of course she may be reading this and I'm completely busted. If you are reading this C, what do you say to two weeks in Europe?
Any help is appreciated. I promise to take some rich friends down to clubs near San Diego and spend gads of money. I hear earnings are tight down there. [No chance of running into C, either].



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Maybe slow down some. Kinda sounds like you like her alot, bit not what she does for money, it's a job.


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