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Thread: Stop asking me out to dinner!

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    Default Stop asking me out to dinner!

    Hi all. I have only been dancing for a few weeks and absolutely cannot get over the amount of guys/customers that want to see me outside the club. What's the deal with this? I know I read a similar thread on this earlier, but can't seem to find it now.

    Anyway, I just wanted to get other dancer's opinions on this. I will NEVER see a guy outside the club, and while I give them the "fantasy" they're looking for, I do not mislead them or accept the offers for lunch, shopping, etc. But this is getting really really old.
    On any given night, I would honestly say that about 80% of my customers push and persue a relationship outside the club from me. I expected this to happen once in a while, but not from everybody! I'm just wigged out that that many men would actually believe they could find "romance" in a friggin' strip club. Once they understand that I am not going to dinner with them, their wallet gets a lot tighter. When I get up to work and/or hustle dances, they look so let down and heartbroken when I give them the "my time is money," deal.

    Do you all get tired of "gently" explaining this to customers? I would really like to get a few regulars, but I don't think the "looking for love guy" is going to ammount to much help in the $$$ area.

    Any suggestions on how to say no to a customer's relationship request and still make money off them?

    Thanks for listening.
    Samantha

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    It's part of the job,I'm afraid.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    Here is the thread you were looking for....


    "Can I take you out to dinner"...No

    http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/ind...threadid=11072

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------

    There's also the humorous method....

    Sure, honey here's my number call me sometime and we'll set something up....

    http://www.rejectionhotline.com/numbers.htm

    (Just be careful who you do this to.)
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  4. #4
    Sitri
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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    Quote Originally Posted by samantha615 link=board=25;threadid=12933;start=msg167599#msg16 7599 date=1093978369
    Hi all. I have only been dancing for a few weeks and absolutely cannot get over the amount of guys/customers that want to see me outside the club. What's the deal with this? I know I read a similar thread on this earlier, but can't seem to find it now.

    Anyway, I just wanted to get other dancer's opinions on this. I will NEVER see a guy outside the club, and while I give them the "fantasy" they're looking for, I do not mislead them or accept the offers for lunch, shopping, etc. But this is getting really really old.
    On any given night, I would honestly say that about 80% of my customers push and persue a relationship outside the club from me. I expected this to happen once in a while, but not from everybody! I'm just wigged out that that many men would actually believe they could find "romance" in a friggin' strip club. Once they understand that I am not going to dinner with them, their wallet gets a lot tighter. When I get up to work and/or hustle dances, they look so let down and heartbroken when I give them the "my time is money," deal.

    Do you all get tired of "gently" explaining this to customers? I would really like to get a few regulars, but I don't think the "looking for love guy" is going to ammount to much help in the $$$ area.

    Any suggestions on how to say no to a customer's relationship request and still make money off them?

    Thanks for listening.
    Samantha
    Meet you for breakfast? You can keep the tip.

    On the serious, side, if men didn't believe that they could find "romance" in a friggin' strip club, they wouldn't go. Hazard of the job. It's how you deal with it and dodge the bullets that makes you a living.



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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    Thanks Verfolgung for the link... I was looking for that.

    I think Bambiblue had the answer I was looking for...
    "These guys are never going to turn into long term regulars..... They are looking for sex.... not entertainment. My advice is that maybe you never had control of the conversation in the first place and seem like an easy target.... probably because you are a newbie.... it happened to all of us. Not to sound like a hustling bitch, but I milk these guys for all I can get out of them and then when they realize they aren't going to get anywhere, they usually find someone else to bother for a date."

    I just read through my post again, and it seems a lot like I'm frustrated and venting. I didn't really mean to be that way. I think I just needed a slap in the face to remind me that I am working to make money.... being nice won't make my bank account grow.
    I was so worried about letting these guys down gently. I'm not going to worry about that anymore... going to shoot straight, get over it, and move on to who ever will spend $$ on me.

    Thanks!

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    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    UR welcome.

    Don't be afraid to those ignorant guys into shape.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  7. #7
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    im so sick of this too. And i have no good advice for this still!

    I am not mad at them, but i feel bad time after time saying no even if i do find them nice and attractive.

    i guess it just gets old, and i am always caught off guard by it.

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    Quote Originally Posted by tampafldancer link=board=25;threadid=12933;start=msg167647#msg16 7647 date=1093984353
    im so sick of this too.

    i guess it just gets old
    LMAO!!! It comes with the territory.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    Its actually a compliment in a way ladies.

    I know girls that go out to dinner and on the shopping spree's to include the docs office for the boob jobs.

    I dont have a problem with this "extra"other then a saftey issue,but none the less,its an "extra" and you have to relize,now that you have gone out with them,they might start asking for other "extras".

    Your going to hear "lets go to dinner"alot every night,dont let it be something that pisses you off.Think of it as the customer saying
    "I find you intoxicating,i would crawl naked over barbed wire just to take you out on a date".
    might work?

    It rates up there for DJ's like " how many have you slept with?"and "do you have free bird?"

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    Veteran Member goldclubbing's Avatar
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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    I think it would be kind of flattering to get asked out but I can understand feeling guilty having to say NO all the time. I think this is what they call an occupational hazard. Maybe some enterprising dancer should start a dating service for all these customers...some of them must be good enough to date...maybe not you guys...but someone.

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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    I'm not much of a strip club fan (I go to clubs maybe once a year for a bachelor party or something), but I do find the posts on this board intriguing.

    Based on this post and others elsewhere on the board it seems there is a big disjuncture between what strip clubs are selling (fantasy) and what a lot of the customers want to buy (sex/romance/dates). Somehow the stripclub industry is not marketing itself correctly. If you owned a McDonanlds and people kept coming asking for whoppers wouldn't you think your marketing department was screwing up?

    THe dilemma for the strip club industry is that if all the customers understood that the clubs were selling a fantasy only, their clientele base would drop dramtically. There are some guys who like the idea of buying a fantasy. But I think most guys are not going to be attracted to the idea of paying someone who probably thinks you're a jerk or a loser anyway just to help create a fantasy. That's why I don't go to stripclubs I never got the point. They don't turn me on, and if they did I would want to do more than hand somebody $20 bills.

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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    "Stop asking me out to dinner!"... But i haven't asked yet.

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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    LOL.... this has turned into a very insightful topic.

    I think I'm going to take everyone's advice and start a stripper dating service that serves whoppers while playing "free bird" over and over. That ought to cover all the bases.


    Luke - I believe you correctly worded the dilema of the strip club (especially in a marketing sense).
    I guess my point is that I am just blown away by the phenominal amount of people who do not realize that there is a line between fantasy and reality. Yes, in a strip club it is a thin line, and you can call me naive, but I thought it was common knowledge. Just like I thought it was common knowledge that McDonalds does not sell whoppers.

    Samantha

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    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    Quote Originally Posted by samantha615 link=board=25;threadid=12933;start=msg167678#msg16 7678 date=1093988928
    LOL.... this has turned into a very insightful topic.

    I think I'm going to take everyone's advice and start a stripper dating service that serves whoppers while playing "free bird" over and over. That ought to cover all the bases.


    Luke - I believe you correctly worded the dilema of the strip club (especially in a marketing sense).
    I guess my point is that I am just blown away by the phenominal amount of people who do not realize that there is a line between fantasy and reality. Yes, in a strip club it is a thin line, and you can call me naive, but I thought it was common knowledge. Just like I thought it was common knowledge that McDonalds does not sell whoppers.

    Samantha
    true.

    But if there was a social perception that you in fact COULD get a whopper at MacD's,if you only paid a little extra for it,dont you think most men would want (and ask for)a whopper instead of just a Macgrill??
    And if they get the whopper,wouldnt they then start to ask for extra cheese or a happy meal prize the next time???


    God this thread is making me hungry!

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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    ahhhh... touché

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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreenMnM link=board=25;threadid=12933;start=msg167687#msg16 7687 date=1093990417
    Quote Originally Posted by samantha615 link=board=25;threadid=12933;start=msg167678#msg16 7678 date=1093988928
    LOL.... this has turned into a very insightful topic.

    I think I'm going to take everyone's advice and start a stripper dating service that serves whoppers while playing "free bird" over and over. That ought to cover all the bases.


    Luke - I believe you correctly worded the dilema of the strip club (especially in a marketing sense).
    I guess my point is that I am just blown away by the phenominal amount of people who do not realize that there is a line between fantasy and reality. Yes, in a strip club it is a thin line, and you can call me naive, but I thought it was common knowledge. Just like I thought it was common knowledge that McDonalds does not sell whoppers.

    Samantha
    true.

    But if there was a social perception that you in fact COULD get a whopper at MacD's,if you only paid a little extra for it,dont you think most men would want (and ask for)a whopper instead of just a Macgrill??
    And if they get the whopper,wouldnt they then start to ask for extra cheese or a happy meal prize the next time???


    God this thread is making me hungry!
    Yeah, and what if that Whopper you paid "extra" for at McD's gave you herpes, er, I mean...food poisoning? A lot of guys don't want the Whopper at McD's because they want to avoid complications like, the uh, food poisoning.

    Lots of guys are still happy having the Whopper right where it belongs. Contrary to your claim that every single guy that goes to a strip club wants extras, whether they vocalize it or not, if you were right, we wouldn't be able to make a living!
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    heeheehee, this food discussion is entertaining. But Samantha, I think you're right that it's a newbie thing, I don't get asked nearly as much as I seem to have been in the past. Part of that is you get better about correctly judging the amount of time to spend with a customer - unfortunately enough if you spend a lot of time a customer starts to think "oooh, she likes me for me! maybe she'd like to meet elsewhere without a cover charge?" I once spend nearly 40 minutes with one guy because he bought one dance, wanted to talk, bought another dance, more talking. Great, I made $20 and got a dozen "you shouldn't work here... I'd take care of you..." speeches.

    ack, I did go to dinner with a customer once, he asked me, picked the place, and he expected me to get the tip! ???
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    I've posted in the past that I have in fact allowed customers to take me out to dinner. With the exception of one guy, every single one was either in Vegas or New Orleans. Why does this make a difference? Because both of those cities are very dependent on tourist/convention business and none of those guys would ever become a regular.

    I'd tell them up front and very clearly that it was JUST dinner, meet them there, enjoy my meal, and hasta la vista.

    I've often said that I think regulars are typically more trouble then they're worth. I've met enough exceptions to count on one hand in the last 5 years. In some clubs or towns you're pretty dependent on them, but I prefer to avoid it altogether.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    See i dont usually say anything to a girl about meeting another time outside of "the office". I guess I just figure they have heard it all.
    If they wanted to see me after they would make some slight but noticable indication.
    Plus it could never ever be just dinner. We would go eat and have a few drinks and a good time, then next thing you know we are out at some lounge, then to some after hours place and next thing i know im waking up on the front lawn wondering what i did the night before. LOL

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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    oh yeah uhhh ummmmmm would any of you ladies like dinner??
    LOL

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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    Quote Originally Posted by NinaDaisy link=board=25;threadid=12933;start=msg168684#msg16 8684 date=1094142880
    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreenMnM link=board=25;threadid=12933;start=msg167687#msg16 7687 date=1093990417
    Lots of guys are still happy having the Whopper right where it belongs. Contrary to your claim that every single guy that goes to a strip club wants extras, whether they vocalize it or not, if you were right, we wouldn't be able to make a living!
    Im sorry you dont see it NinaD,the proof is in front of you every day that you go to work.
    I have read on other threads that you often go out to dinner with customers.Thats an extra!
    Im just guessing,but i would bet on the fact that the guys you go out to dinner with did more then just tip you one dollar on stage to have you dine with them.
    Again,extras come in many forms,not just blowjobs in the champagne room,and every guy that frequents adult clubs IS looking for some kind of extra.

    Wake up NinaD
    try and see
    what it really Be

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    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    ???
    BTW

    Whats the difference between a paid escort,and an entertainer who goes out to dinner with someone who pays her extra?

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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    What's the difference between a "date" and a "paid escort" beyond some dollar amount?

    Oh, sorry, nevermind.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    BigGreen-I think most guys go to clubs not seeking extras but to get some attention from attractive women. For me just being in the club is an extra...I mean where else in a downtown financial distict can you pop into an unassuming bar and talk and flirt with girls in bikinis?

    Some guys assume when a dancer does decide to have a meal with a customer it also means hotel room after or large amounts of money has changed hands...usually its just a meal so what the big deal?

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    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
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    Default Re:Stop asking me out to dinner!

    Quote Originally Posted by NinaDaisy link=board=25;threadid=12933;start=msg168698#msg16 8698 date=1094143904
    1 - I've posted in the past that I have in fact allowed customers to take me out to dinner.

    2 - With the exception of one guy, every single one was either in Vegas or New Orleans.

    3 - I'd tell them up front and very clearly that it was JUST dinner, meet them there, enjoy my meal, and hasta la vista.
    1 - This, of course, is one major reason that customers do not stop asking - namely, the answer is not always "no". Some dancers never go out to eat with a customer, some do it occasionally and some do it regularly. As a customer, asking is about the only way to find out. (Of course, being a pest about it is just being a jerk; imo, if you ask the question, you should be prepared to accept a "no" gracefully if that is her response.)

    2 - And indeed the chance that a dancer will agree to go to dinner with you depends A LOT on where you are; it is common in some places and rare in others. As has been discussed in various "dancing in Tokyo/Japan" threads, dinner dates with customers (dohans) is a part of the standard strip club system there and the large majority of dancers do it regularly. Again from the customer's perspective, if you are traveling, just passing through a place on business or whatever, how are you supposed to find out if you don't ask?

    3 - It is certainly true that many guys inviting a dancer out to dinner would be interested in "extras" (sex), but it is also true that one does not necessarily imply the other. Once more from the point of view of a traveling customer, a guy may be just looking for some company to break-up the boredom of too many nights sitting in hotel rooms reading or watching TV.

    -Ww
    "At this moment what more need we seek?
    As the Truth eternally reveals itself,
    This very place is the Lotus Land of Purity,
    This very body is the Body of the Buddha."
    - Zazen Wasan

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