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Thread: Questions most feared by men!!!

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    Featured Member mercedez's Avatar
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    Default Questions most feared by men!!!

    What questions are most feared by men......Men hate when any questions should arise.....my favorites are......

    What are you thinking about?
    Do you love me?
    Do I look fat?
    Do you think she is prettier than me?
    What would you do if I died?

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    I am not afraid of questions...my manta - "If you don't want to hear the answer...don't ask the question."

    What are you thinking about? - sex with a stripper

    Do you love me? - absolutely

    Do I look fat? - Yes (only because I despise that question)

    Do you think she is prettier than me? - of course not (answered without looking to see who it is)

    What would you do if I died? - mourn for a while then move on
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Member python fan's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    "Honey, would you pick up some tampons for me at the store?" AAAAHHH !!

    "Rejoice O young man in thy youth."

    - Ecclesiastes

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    Tampons? Been there...done that. It's not my favorite thing to do...but I'm willing.

    Whatta fag, huh??
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    I fear NO questions... and I have absolutely no qualms buying tampons.

    It's good ta be da king.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    The question I fear most: But daddy, he/she reminds me of you why can't I date him/her?

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    Featured Member GnBeret's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    "How many before me?"
    "That's your answer Old Man? I guess you're a Hard Case too...."
    - Luke
    "Some men, you just can't reach...."
    - Boss, re Luke

    If there's one thing in my life these years have taught me,
    it's that you can always see it coming, but you can never stop it.
    -Cowboy Junkies

  8. #8
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    What's wrong with buying tampons? She buys my razors if I ask her to. Besides, if she's in the mode where she needs tampons, it's good to get out of the house for a while.

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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    What are you thinking about? What am I going to put here?

    Do you love me? Yes I love you.

    Do I look fat? No you don't look fat!

    Do you think she is prettier than me? There is none prettier than you!

    What would you do if I died? I would die with you :'(


    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

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    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    I believe that this is the offficial answer key.

    FIVE MOST DREADED BY MAN.

    1. What are you thinking about?
    2. Do you love me?
    3. Do I look fat?
    4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
    5. What would you do if I died?

    What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed
    to
    explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e. tells
    the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed
    below
    along with possible responses.

    Question #1: What are you thinking about?
    The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I have been a
    bit
    pensive darling. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful,
    thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to
    have
    met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true
    answer,
    which most likely is one of the following:

    a. Nothing.
    b. Football.
    c. Jennifer Lopez.
    d. How fat you are.
    e. How would I spend the insurance money if you died?

    Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who
    once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be
    talking to you"

    Question #2: Do you love me?
    The proper response is: "YES" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is
    necessary, "Yes, dear."

    Inappropriate responses include:
    a. Oh yeah, sh*t loads
    b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
    c. That depends on what you mean by love
    d. Does it matter?
    e. Who, me?

    Question #3: Do I look fat? The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of
    course
    not!"

    Among the incorrect answers are:
    a. Compared to what?
    b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
    c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
    d. I've seen fatter.
    e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would
    spend the insurance money if you died.

    Question #4: Do you think she is prettier than me? Once again, the
    proper
    response is an emphatic: "Of course not!!"
    Incorrect responses include:
    a. Yes but you have a better personality.
    b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
    c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
    d. Define "pretty"
    e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would
    spend the insurance money if you died.

    Question #5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question.
    (The
    real answer of course is "Buy a Ferrari and a boat") No matter how you
    answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow up questions,
    usually along these lines:

    WOMAN: Would you get married again?

    MAN: Definitely not!

    WOMAN: Why not? Don't you like being married?

    MAN: Of course I do.

    WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?

    MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.

    WOMAN: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)

    MAN: (Makes audible groan)

    WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?

    MAN: Where else would we sleep?

    WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures and replace them with pictures of
    her?

    MAN: That would seem the proper thing to do.

    WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?

    MAN: She can't. She's left-handed.

    WOMAN: ...silence...

    MAN: Sh*t.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    Great thread, Mercedez. The dreaded Insecurity Questions...God, I fucking hate that whole reaffirmation bullshit. This is part of being a man that sucks, like prostate cancer, except you suffer more.

    What are you thinking about?
    Usually the answer to this is "nothing," because it's always asked when it appears that I'm deep in thought, but I'm really not thinking about anything. Men do this sometimes. Really. Believe it.

    Do you love me?
    Maybe? I won't make this one up.

    Do I look fat?
    If you have to ask...you probably already know the answer.

    Do you think she is prettier than me?
    No. Of course not... See above answer.

    What would you do if I died?
    Go to your funeral? What the fuck kind of question is that?

    Other questions I hate:

    "Why do you always XXXXXXXXXX"

    Questions with absolutes drive me completely insane, since they're designed to accuse and are by definition incorrect.

    "Why do you look at porn all the time?"

    Again, introduction of an absolute renders the question fundamentally flawed. Seperately, the answer to the porn question is, "Because I like to look at hot naked chicks." This was only a problem with one girlfriend in recent history, thankfully.

    "Why do you love me?"

    I just want to die when this question is asked--from an aneurism. See Insecurity Questions...

    "Why is it all you ever think about is computers, food and sex?"

    Because I'm male. Is this a trick question?

    I'm sure I could think of more, but I don't want to hog the thread.

    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  12. #12
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    Great post guys! But seriously, what's the big deal about going out and buying tampons for your SO?! I have seen guys standing around that aisle for hours it seems looking for the ones that won't upset SO. I always want to ask them,

    "Your girlfriend/wife right?"

    HIM: "yes"

    "Ok, do you know what kind she wants?"

    HIM: "Nope, no clue"

    "Well do you have a cell phone?"

    HIM: "Yes, of course"

    "Then call her and ask"

    HIM: "Ok, I didn't think of that"

    HIM calling SO and asking.......

    "You know what kind now?"

    HIM: "Yes this kind brand XXXXXX"

    "Ok, here ya go, they are here. Remember what that box looks like from now on. Just for less hardship later on."

    HIM: "Thanks, for youe help, by the way can you do me a favor?"

    "Yeah, maybe what is it?"

    HIM: "If I give you the money will you by these and then just give me them back in the bag?"

    "Sure, I take it you are new to this"

    HIM: "Yeah, and I really love her too."

    "Aww, how sweet. Sure no problem"

    Why can't you guys just buy the damn things yourselves?! The little old woman at the cash register will not think less of you for it, in fact she will probably think your kinda sweet. Remember when she was younger, men didn't do that kind of thing.

    Kitana
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Feel like a damn salt lick at the goats petting zoo!
    <08SM>

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    Now Kit....have most of us not said that we do it? I don&#039;t especially LIKE getting them...but then again, I don&#039;t really like buying toilet paper, either. Yeah, I know we all wipe our asses. But there I am standing in line saying "HEY EVERYONE...later on....I&#039;ll be wiping my asshole...WITH THIS!"

    Honestly - the questions *I* hate...
    "What were you thinking?"
    "Did you not think that would upset me?"
    "Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  14. #14
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    The "Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?" question is totally absurd. If I ever heard a girl say that to a guy I would have to answer the question for him!

    GIRL: "Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

    ME: "He prpbably dosen&#039;t but I bet you&#039;re about to tell him."

    Some girls are so silly, argh I can understand how you men get so damn confused sometimes!

    Kitana
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Feel like a damn salt lick at the goats petting zoo!
    <08SM>

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    Well, we start out pretty stupid and confused, so we&#039;re already at a disadvantage.

    It&#039;s not like we&#039;re any better. We have our own "little" things that drive you all nuts, don&#039;t we?
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Featured Member discretedancer's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    The all purpose answer to alot of questions - ESPECIALLY "do i look fat" - is DO I LOOK STUPID TO YOU

    Let her know you know you can&#039;t win, so you just aren&#039;t playing. Works for me.

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    Featured Member WiseGuy_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=12947;start=msg167803#msg167 803 date=1094004076
    I fear NO questions... and I have absolutely no qualms buying tampons.
    I thought we all feared:

    ..."Will you pick up a pregnancy test kit for me at the store?"
    ...followed by "How do you feel about being a daddy?
    ...followed by "....being a daddy again?"
    ...followed by "Honey can we sell your 1970 GTO Convertible with original 455 H.O. Ram Air engine and Muncie M-21 4spd and buy a new Honda for me and the kids?"
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

  18. #18
    Veteran Member wasfatboy's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    what about:
    "oh isnt that cute" (when first seeing your dick)
    "is it in yet?"
    "are you done yet?"

    or maybe that just happened to me..............

    WFB
    Baby&#039;s, the OTHER other white meat!

    I want my baby back, baby back, baby back.............................................r ibs.

    im damn sexy and you know you want me!

  19. #19
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by WiseGuy_TX link=board=1;threadid=12947;start=msg167971#msg167 971 date=1094044468
    I thought we all feared:

    ..."Will you pick up a pregnancy test kit for me at the store?"
    ...followed by "How do you feel about being a daddy?
    ...followed by "....being a daddy again?"
    ...followed by "Honey can we sell your 1970 GTO Convertible with original 455 H.O. Ram Air engine and Muncie M-21 4spd and buy a new Honda for me and the kids?"
    No fear for all of the above.. I don&#039;t mess around anywhere where I&#039;m not willing to make the committment that goes along with the action. Hasn&#039;t happened yet, but it&#039;s firmly in my mind even during more of the casual one night stands I&#039;ve had.

    Oh, and it was a 1965 GTO, Ram Air 400 with an M22 Rockcrusher 4spd (the 455&#039;s were only HO&#039;s, not Ram Air) that I sold for a woman several years ago. I&#039;m actually pretty interested how you knew about that... Cars come and go, love is precious and in the moment.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

  20. #20
    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    How about:

    "Honestly, how do you like what I&#039;ve done with my hair?"

    "You mean after all the work I put into it, you didn&#039;t even notice what I did?"
    I used to ask my husband this one sometimes just to mess with his mind. Besides it was fun watching him try to casually look around the house trying to figure out what had changed.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

  21. #21
    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by big_daddy link=board=1;threadid=12947;start=msg167815#msg167 815 date=1094006547

    What would you do if I died? I would die with you :&#039;(

    That was the sweetest thing ever... Seriously. :&#039;( I would melt, even if it wasnt the truth.

  22. #22
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lexi link=board=1;threadid=12947;start=msg168247#msg168 247 date=1094082359
    Quote Originally Posted by big_daddy link=board=1;threadid=12947;start=msg167815#msg167 815 date=1094006547

    What would you do if I died? I would die with you :&#039;(


    That was the sweetest thing ever... Seriously. :&#039;( I would melt, even if it wasnt the truth.
    It&#039;s the truth babe! My SO is my best friend without her I would be so lost! It&#039;s just like the Motley Crue song.....

    Without you, there&#039;s no change
    My nights and days are grey
    If I reached out and touched the rain
    It just wouldn&#039;t feel the same

    Without you, I&#039;d be lost
    I&#039;d slip down from the top
    I&#039;d slide down so low
    Girl you&#039;d never, never know...

    Without you, without you
    A sailor lost at sea
    Without you, woman The world comes down on me

    Without you in my life
    I&#039;d slowly wilt and die
    But with you by my side
    You&#039;re the reason I&#039;m alive
    But with you in my life
    You&#039;re the reason I&#039;m alive
    But without you, without you...

    Without you, my hope is small
    Let me be me all along
    You let the fires rage inside
    Knowing someday I&#039;d grow strong

    Without you, without you
    A sailor lost at sea
    Without you, woman The world comes down on me

    Without you in my life
    I&#039;d slowly wilt and die
    But with you by my side
    You&#039;re the reason I&#039;m alive
    But with you in my life
    You&#039;re the reason I&#039;m alive
    But without you, without you...

    I could face a mountain
    But I could never climb alone
    I could start another day
    But how many, just don&#039;t know
    You&#039;re the reason the sun shines down
    And the nights, they don&#039;t grow cold
    Only you that I&#039;ll hold when I&#039;m young
    Only you...as we grow old

    Without you in my life
    I&#039;d slowly wilt and die
    But with you by my side
    You&#039;re the reason I&#039;m alive
    But with you in my life
    You&#039;re the reason I&#039;m alive
    But without you, without you...

    I know I could never start a new life without her. I would not kill myself or anything but my life as I know it now would be over.
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

  23. #23
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    I&#039;m walking on shallow ground here.. I am going to sink wtih this...


    IS IT IN YET?


    [/URL]
    [/URL]



  24. #24
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by MojoJojo link=board=1;threadid=12947;start=msg167801#msg167 801 date=1094003904
    Tampons? Been there...done that. It&#039;s not my favorite thing to do...but I&#039;m willing.

    Whatta fag, huh??
    Done it myself. I think the girl behind the cash register was more embarrassed than I was.

  25. #25
    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re:Questions most feared by men!!!

    The question most feared by men,easy....


    During sex....


    "is it in yet"?

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