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Thread: You Know You're A SC Regular When....

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    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    (Wasn't sure if I should post this here or under Customer Conversation, but I figured when in doubt post in the Lounge.)

    Alright guys, the ladies had their fun with, "You Know You're a Stripper When..."

    Another person started a thread on another site, but I decided to move it over here for some laughs. Many were written by me, but many were also authored by others so place credit and blame accodingly.

    So here we go.....

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    ...When Chris Rock said that eveyone's got a freind who's addicted to strip clubs, all your buddies immediately thought of YOU.

    ...Your wife gets hold of your ATM statement and wonders why you eat at "Joe's Bar & Grill" so often, sometimes multiple times in a single day.

    ...You know who to believe and who not to, when they tell you your ATF isn't working that night

    ...You spend more time in VIP Room than your own Living Room.

    ...You've given valet a spare set of your car keys.

    ...Door charge? What door charge?

    ...The club has to change their liquor order if you go on vacation.

    ...When ever you pay for something with a $1 bill you automatically crease it down the middle

    ...They hand you the remote control to the TV over the bar.

    ...Who says you need sqaure sheets of paper, you can make masterful oragami figures from 2.5"x 6" bills, no problem

    ...The DJ holds up the amateur night contest while awaiting for your arrival. After all, they can't have a contest without the judge.

    ...Strippers ask you to remind them of their work schedule.

    ...You've ever had a group of college guys look over at you an wonder why you've got five dancers sitting with you when they can't get one dancer to come sit with them

    ...You know more about the dancer's family than yours

    ...You know all their outfits...you bought them

    ....You walk in & the bartender has 5 of your beers already on ice

    ...You've been asked by the manager fo advice on how to improve operations

    ...The bartender knows you've changed drinks or brands

    ...Your ATF knows what your pay period is

    ...If you left your ID at home it wouldn't matter

    ...You can leave and re-enter at will without paying an additional cover

    ...If you don't show up at your regular time, the dancers and the staff actually worry about you

    ...You recognize all the other regulars and know who their favorites are

    ...The waitress brings your drink before you even have a chance to order

    ...Your favorite dancer knows what time you'll be getting your dances

    ...Looking at women in their street cloths is no longer as appealing

    ...You start to look at women rate whether they could be dancer a dancer or not

    ...You're cell phone address book looks like this:
    Candy (Julie)
    Desire (Mary)
    China (Angela)

    ...You keep a roll of 1's in your glove compartment

    ...You know of all the banks where you can get $2 bills

    ...You know all about the details of your favorite dancer's "real life" as well as her other real life

    ...You're favorite dancer can tell you a story involving three people, while using 6 names and you can follow along without any problem

    ...Airdance, Medium Contact, Full Contact, Mileage, PL, RIL, Extra ... are all familiar terms in your vocabulary

    ...You keep an extra shirt in your trunk and you know how to get changed in your car so the wife won't smell the perfume on you

    ...You regularly have to come up with new and creative excuses for why your covered with glitter again

    ...You've ever walked around the club for several hours with a big red lipstick mark on your forehead without knowing it

    ...You know the dancer's schedules better than the house mom

    ...A C-cup no longer seems impressive

    ...You can spot a newbie from across the room by her how she walks - not quite used to those 6" platforms yet

    ...Half naked women can walk by you now without even phasing you

    ...You now know more about perfume, body spray, body lotion, makeup, concealer, foundation, and hair removal than you ever cared to know

    ...Guys who sit at the tip rail and don't tip the dancers start to piss you off as well

    ...Watching olympic gymnists is no longer impressive, you see women doing cooler tricks on the pole with 6" platforms

    ...When you go out to a normal bar with your buddies you never complain about drink prices - they're cheaper than what you're used to

    ...Songs on the radio remind you lapdances you've received

    ...Meeting porn stars in person is no longer that big of a deal

    ...Your vacation plans center around clubs you've been wanting to check out

    ...You're able to remind dancers of where they are in the rotation and when they'll have to go on stage next

    ...Friends of your ATF keep you company when she's busy, and don't expect you to buy dances from them

    ...The manger goes to the dressing room and lets your ATF know you've arrived

    ...You're no longer uncomfortable around taller women, in 6" inch heals even the 5'4" girl is taller than you

    ...You can sit in a no-contact club with your arm around a dancer and no one will say anything to you

    ...When your freinds need advice on where to go and who they should see on Fri. night, they know who to ask

    ...When you're paying the cover charge and can hear the music, you already know who's on stage

    ...You commonly schedule client meetings and other events around your normal SC night

    ...You can look around the room and know which dancers are borrowing other dancers' cloths

    ...If you walk in after your normal arrival time the dancers, manager, bouncers, cashier girl, waitresses and bartender all inquire why your late

    ...No matter where you happen to be, you can look at your watch and guess who's probably on stage at that moment

    ...When it's the birthday of one of the dancers you get offered a piece of the cake

    ...Dancers commonly ask you for your advice before they buy outfits from another dancer

    ...You've been asked on several occasions to co-sign for a lease or car loan

    ...Only the new girls comes over to ask if you want a dance. Everyone else already knows who you'll get dances from and when you'll get them

    ...Bouncer throw out the guy who's sitting on your stool

    ...Dancers / Waitresses ask you to go pick up Food & Coffee for them

    ...At least 2 dancers ask you to finance their boob jobs

    ...You know the fastest route to the club from any point in town

    ...Your budget includes a heading "Strip Club"

    ...You can read someone else's review and with no names given, I know who he got dances from

    ...Even though she's doing her best to hide it, you can tell when a customer is aggrevating the hell out of one of the dancers

    ...Newbies ask you for advice on how to improve their stage performances

    ...The club opens at 12:00PM and closes at 2:00AM - For Everybody Else

    ...You have a drawer full of t-shirts which came with the 2:1 showcase

    ...Your buddy offer you a ticket to the game and you turn him down. You'd rather watch it on TV because you consider the live half time show more important anyway.

    ...You've ever used CoinStar to gather money for a lapdance

    ...A perfectly bronzed body in the middle of January seems normal

    ...Your hats and neck ties have been places you can only dream of

    ...You can pull into the parking lot and know who's working that day
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  2. #2
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    OMG!!!! Those are too funny! I can name off someone from each club I worked at who fits all of those to a T!

    Too funny, keep 'em cumming guys!

    Kitana
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Feel like a damn salt lick at the goats petting zoo!
    <08SM>

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    God/dess montythegeek's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    ....When you realize the waitress changed her hair style and her husband didn&#039;t.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    ...You regularly have to come up with new and creative excused for why your covered with glitter again
    Yeah, there was a surprise birthday party at the office...again...yes, third party this week. LOL

    These are great!!

  5. #5
    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    ....You can tell when another customer has had a little "accident" by the untucked shirt and the way he waddles immediately from the private dance area to the mens&#039; room.

    ....The DJ will re-arrange the rotation of the stage sets if you&#039;re in the middle of getting your dances from your ATF

    ....You have no problem calling a flourist and ordering a bouquet to be delivered with name cards like "To Fantasia"

    ....Before you get to the club you call ahead to see what kind of lattes and ice coffee everyone would like

    ....You commonly find yourself sitting next to a cocktail table with nearly a dozen mixed drinks on it. Whenever a dancer needs a safe place to put her drink it ends up in front of you.

    ....Your buddies ask if you&#039;ve managed to kick your "hundred dollar habbit", and you gladly reply, "no."

    ....You regularly go home smelling like you spent the day hanging out at a department store perfume counter.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  6. #6
    God/dess VADEN's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    Too true! These are great!



  7. #7
    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    ....It feels strange to go to a normal club where YOU have to ASK the women if they would like to dance

    ....You&#039;ve been asked on more than one occasion to be someone&#039;s green card marriage

    ....You know all the stories behind each of the dancer&#039;s tatoos

    ....You&#039;ve ever given relationship adivce during a lap dance

    ....You&#039;ve ever bought a set of golf clubs just to have an excuse to tell your wife where you go on Sat. afternoons (note: a boweling ball will also work. Plus it&#039;s cheaper and takes up less space in your trunk)

    ....You tell your wife you&#039;ve been golfing (boweling, playing pool, etc.) every Sat. afternoon for the past two years, and yet your game hasn&#039;t improved one bit

    ....You can keep a strait face when a newbie tells you her name is chocolate

    ....You&#039;ve ever had to travel an hour and half home via the back roads because you couldn&#039;t help but spend the highway toll money on a final stage tip before walking out the door

    ....You think everything&#039;s fine and good until one day one of your daughter&#039;s friends decides to audition for a job

    ....Your ATF factors your visits into the timing of her future purchases

    ....Your ATF give you updates to her "life" to pass along to the other dancers in the club should other customers ask about her
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    I knew I was a true regular when dancers began yelling my name when I would enter, the bartender would have my beer ready before I sat down, the DJ would make some sort of wise-crack announcement, and one of dancers in the joint would sit down and start telling me about all of her problems, asking for relationship advice, or telling me about her period.

    My wife told me - "Only you could have this happen."
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    See, these things are all if you&#039;re a GOOD regular (like I&#039;m sure most of you guys are). This one guy came into my club on Friday and all the girls hightailed it into the dressing room so they wouldn&#039;t have to sit and listen to him talk about how pathetic he was and how he&#039;s soooo rich (but he rarely buys dances!). He was one of two customers in the club at the time.

    So there&#039;s a totally different list for BAD regulars!
    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    If success meant being savage my woes would disappear.

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    Featured Member CalifSCVisitor65's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    ...Airdance, Medium Contact, Full Contact, Mileage, PL, RIL, Extra ... are all familiar terms in your vocabulary

    Ok sorry but I am a newbie what does PL and RIL mean? I know the other terms.

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    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    Quote Originally Posted by CalifSCVisitor65 link=board=1;threadid=12960;start=msg170321#msg170 321 date=1094415271


    Ok sorry but I am a newbie what does PL and RIL mean? I know the other terms.
    PL=Pathetic Loser
    RIL=Regular In Love


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    Featured Member CalifSCVisitor65's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    Quote Originally Posted by Rhiannon link=board=1;threadid=12960;start=msg170324#msg170 324 date=1094415789
    Quote Originally Posted by CalifSCVisitor65 link=board=1;threadid=12960;start=msg170321#msg170 321 date=1094415271


    Ok sorry but I am a newbie what does PL and RIL mean? I know the other terms.
    PL=Pathetic Loser
    RIL=Regular In Love

    OK thanks Rhiannon


  13. #13
    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    Quote Originally Posted by noelle link=board=1;threadid=12960;start=msg170188#msg170 188 date=1094401771
    See, these things are all if you&#039;re a GOOD regular (like I&#039;m sure most of you guys are). This one guy came into my club on Friday and all the girls hightailed it into the dressing room so they wouldn&#039;t have to sit and listen to him talk about how pathetic he was and how he&#039;s soooo rich (but he rarely buys dances!). He was one of two customers in the club at the time.

    So there&#039;s a totally different list for BAD regulars!
    I&#039;m sure there is, but I figured I&#039;d keep the list going with what I&#039;m familiar with.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  14. #14
    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    Quote Originally Posted by noelle
    See, these things are all if you're a GOOD regular (like I'm sure most of you guys are). This one guy came into my club on Friday and all the girls hightailed it into the dressing room so they wouldn't have to sit and listen to him talk about how pathetic he was and how he's soooo rich (but he rarely buys dances!). He was one of two customers in the club at the time.

    So there's a totally different list for BAD regulars!
    Okay Noelle, I thought of some for you......

    ....You can recognize the BAD regulars by the following:

    A customer walks in and all the dancers make eye contact with each other and collectively roll their eyes and shrug their shoulders

    A customer is the only one sitting at the stage and the dancer chooses to get redressed, stop dancing and lie down on the opposite side rather than go over to try to get a tip

    (For bad regulars with money) dancers get him to order multiple bottles of chapagne and have them put on ice, then get him to leave. After he's gone they ask you to come over and drink with them.

    A customer "accidently" has shoes fly off in his direction on a regular basis

    Dancers recommend him to the other dancers they don't like

    (for guys who just smell bad) dancers come out with their perfume bottle so that he can sample the frangrance but then shower him all over with it

    Dancers stand 5' away during the lap dance even though it's a medium contact club

    Customer walks in with breakaway warm up pants and the dancer your sitting with mutters "Yuck!" under her breath

    The customer walks up to a dancer to ask if he can have a dance (usually a 2:1, when they're not being offered) and the dancer says "sorry sweatie, I'm busy right now" then walks away and sits at the bar.

    A dancer trys to give him the number to the REJECTION HOTLINE but he recognizes it from having received it so many times before
    Last edited by verfolgung; 10-15-2004 at 12:05 PM.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  15. #15
    Featured Member CalifSCVisitor65's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    Dancers stand 5&#039; away during the lap dance even though it&#039;s a medium contact club


    Dayum and I always thought it was just a no contact club. :


    good ones Verf

  16. #16
    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    ....You regularly get dirty looks from a guys sitting at the tip rail who turn around to see who the dancer keeps smiling and winking at instead of paying attention to them and their $1 tip.

    ....You can recognize the "will someone please hand me a towel with alcohol" look on a dancer&#039;s face

    ....You&#039;ve ever had a dancer&#039;s stalker call YOU to find out whether or not your more than friends

    ....You commonly have "Field of Dreams" moments and wonder if you install a pole in your living room, will they come?

    ....When you&#039;re at home watching TV and your SO sits on your lap, you immediately put your hands down to your sides.

    ....The cashier at the day spa giggles when you walk in to buy gift certificates because so many different girls have come in to redeam your previous purchases.

    ....You can look around the club and tell where each dancer is sitting by the drink that&#039;s on the table
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  17. #17
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    Too many to post here, but for added laughs here&#039;s a gazillion more of them.

    http://www.stripclubjunkie.com/forum...yabbse/t21.htm
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  18. #18
    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    Thanks Doc.

    You know, I&#039;ve never ventured over to the Blue site before. After all the lines I&#039;ve written here, maybe that&#039;s where I really belong!
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  19. #19
    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    Haha, I love all of these, verf. Good regulars AND bad regulas, they&#039;re all so true.
    Quote Originally Posted by lokikola View Post
    If success meant being savage my woes would disappear.

  20. #20
    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    ....Friends and family no longer believe you when you answer your cell phone and say, "Oh that, it&#039;s just my car stereo you&#039;re hearing."

    ....You&#039;ve asked payroll to split your direct deposit into two accounts so your SO doesn&#039;t see all the withdrawals you make

    ....You and the girls in the "amateur" night contest recognize each other from the other clubs you visit

    ....You walk by a lingerie store, see a sexy outfit, and imagine how it would look on your favorite dancer ... even when your wife is standing right next to you.

    ...You recognize your favorite dancer&#039;s regulars, and know how long she&#039;ll spend with each one of them

    ...You&#039;re the first person called whenever one of your buddies needs advice on where to have a bachelor party

    ...When you&#039;re outside the club you see women and imagine them naked or in sexy lingerie, and when you&#039;re insude the club you see your favorite dancers and imagine them in street clothes
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  21. #21
    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    Quote Originally Posted by Marko link=board=1;threadid=12960;start=msg170490#msg170 490 date=1094451785
    Great stuff, I thought I was the only one with an extra shirt in my car
    (For us single guys out there....)

    ...You don&#039;t keep an extra shirt in your car because you&#039;re worried about a SO, you have one so you can go to the another SC without smelling like the one you just left! A TRUE SCJ!!!
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  22. #22
    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    ....You hear people in the club trying to figure out the true identity of your SW screen name

    ....You&#039;ve become an expert at reading lips because you&#039;re so used to watching TV with no sound

    ....You and your favorite dancer mysteriously show up at the club on a night you don&#039;t normally visit and which is not her normal shift and no one finds it strange
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  23. #23
    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    I thought that "Field of Dreams" idea was mine. Anybody tried it? Does it work?

    ......when a brand new waitress shows up with your drink, because the bartender sent her over with it.

    ......when the dancer on stage stops to wave at you as you walk in the door.

    ..... when, after dealing with an unexpected expense or making a big ticket purchase, you consider how many lap dances you could have had for that money.


    Oh yeah, and when a guy you&#039;ve never seen before says "Are you Silverback? I&#039;ve seen your posts."
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

  24. #24
    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverback
    I thought that "Field of Dreams" idea was mine. Anybody tried it? Does it work?
    Yeah, you know when ever I tell a dancer that I have a pole at home they can dance around, they never seem to take it the right way. j/k

    -----------------------------------------------------------------
    Alright here's another....

    ....You're no longer suspicious when you see bills that glow bleach white under the black lights.
    Last edited by verfolgung; 10-15-2004 at 12:14 PM.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


  25. #25
    God/dess verfolgung's Avatar
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    Default Re:You Know You're A SC Regular When....

    ....You&#039;re favorite dancer talks to you as if your next visit is a given. (ie. "Hey I just bought this cute new outfit. I&#039;ll wear it for you when you come in next Sunday!)


    ....You skip your normal visit because you&#039;re at home sick, and your favorite dancer calls to check up on you. (Actually happened to me this weekend! I usually get to the club around 2PM, at 2:30 my phone rang and it was my favorite dancer calling to check up on me. Too Funny!)
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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