(Wasn't sure if I should post this here or under Customer Conversation, but I figured when in doubt post in the Lounge.)
Alright guys, the ladies had their fun with, "You Know You're a Stripper When..."
Another person started a thread on another site, but I decided to move it over here for some laughs. Many were written by me, but many were also authored by others so place credit and blame accodingly.
So here we go.....
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...When Chris Rock said that eveyone's got a freind who's addicted to strip clubs, all your buddies immediately thought of YOU.
...Your wife gets hold of your ATM statement and wonders why you eat at "Joe's Bar & Grill" so often, sometimes multiple times in a single day.
...You know who to believe and who not to, when they tell you your ATF isn't working that night
...You spend more time in VIP Room than your own Living Room.
...You've given valet a spare set of your car keys.
...Door charge? What door charge?
...The club has to change their liquor order if you go on vacation.
...When ever you pay for something with a $1 bill you automatically crease it down the middle
...They hand you the remote control to the TV over the bar.
...Who says you need sqaure sheets of paper, you can make masterful oragami figures from 2.5"x 6" bills, no problem
...The DJ holds up the amateur night contest while awaiting for your arrival. After all, they can't have a contest without the judge.
...Strippers ask you to remind them of their work schedule.
...You've ever had a group of college guys look over at you an wonder why you've got five dancers sitting with you when they can't get one dancer to come sit with them
...You know more about the dancer's family than yours
...You know all their outfits...you bought them
....You walk in & the bartender has 5 of your beers already on ice
...You've been asked by the manager fo advice on how to improve operations
...The bartender knows you've changed drinks or brands
...Your ATF knows what your pay period is
...If you left your ID at home it wouldn't matter
...You can leave and re-enter at will without paying an additional cover
...If you don't show up at your regular time, the dancers and the staff actually worry about you
...You recognize all the other regulars and know who their favorites are
...The waitress brings your drink before you even have a chance to order
...Your favorite dancer knows what time you'll be getting your dances
...Looking at women in their street cloths is no longer as appealing
...You start to look at women rate whether they could be dancer a dancer or not
...You're cell phone address book looks like this:
Candy (Julie)
Desire (Mary)
China (Angela)
...You keep a roll of 1's in your glove compartment
...You know of all the banks where you can get $2 bills
...You know all about the details of your favorite dancer's "real life" as well as her other real life
...You're favorite dancer can tell you a story involving three people, while using 6 names and you can follow along without any problem
...Airdance, Medium Contact, Full Contact, Mileage, PL, RIL, Extra ... are all familiar terms in your vocabulary
...You keep an extra shirt in your trunk and you know how to get changed in your car so the wife won't smell the perfume on you
...You regularly have to come up with new and creative excuses for why your covered with glitter again
...You've ever walked around the club for several hours with a big red lipstick mark on your forehead without knowing it
...You know the dancer's schedules better than the house mom
...A C-cup no longer seems impressive
...You can spot a newbie from across the room by her how she walks - not quite used to those 6" platforms yet
...Half naked women can walk by you now without even phasing you
...You now know more about perfume, body spray, body lotion, makeup, concealer, foundation, and hair removal than you ever cared to know
...Guys who sit at the tip rail and don't tip the dancers start to piss you off as well
...Watching olympic gymnists is no longer impressive, you see women doing cooler tricks on the pole with 6" platforms
...When you go out to a normal bar with your buddies you never complain about drink prices - they're cheaper than what you're used to
...Songs on the radio remind you lapdances you've received
...Meeting porn stars in person is no longer that big of a deal
...Your vacation plans center around clubs you've been wanting to check out
...You're able to remind dancers of where they are in the rotation and when they'll have to go on stage next
...Friends of your ATF keep you company when she's busy, and don't expect you to buy dances from them
...The manger goes to the dressing room and lets your ATF know you've arrived
...You're no longer uncomfortable around taller women, in 6" inch heals even the 5'4" girl is taller than you
...You can sit in a no-contact club with your arm around a dancer and no one will say anything to you
...When your freinds need advice on where to go and who they should see on Fri. night, they know who to ask
...When you're paying the cover charge and can hear the music, you already know who's on stage
...You commonly schedule client meetings and other events around your normal SC night
...You can look around the room and know which dancers are borrowing other dancers' cloths
...If you walk in after your normal arrival time the dancers, manager, bouncers, cashier girl, waitresses and bartender all inquire why your late
...No matter where you happen to be, you can look at your watch and guess who's probably on stage at that moment
...When it's the birthday of one of the dancers you get offered a piece of the cake
...Dancers commonly ask you for your advice before they buy outfits from another dancer
...You've been asked on several occasions to co-sign for a lease or car loan
...Only the new girls comes over to ask if you want a dance. Everyone else already knows who you'll get dances from and when you'll get them
...Bouncer throw out the guy who's sitting on your stool
...Dancers / Waitresses ask you to go pick up Food & Coffee for them
...At least 2 dancers ask you to finance their boob jobs
...You know the fastest route to the club from any point in town
...Your budget includes a heading "Strip Club"
...You can read someone else's review and with no names given, I know who he got dances from
...Even though she's doing her best to hide it, you can tell when a customer is aggrevating the hell out of one of the dancers
...Newbies ask you for advice on how to improve their stage performances
...The club opens at 12:00PM and closes at 2:00AM - For Everybody Else
...You have a drawer full of t-shirts which came with the 2:1 showcase
...Your buddy offer you a ticket to the game and you turn him down. You'd rather watch it on TV because you consider the live half time show more important anyway.
...You've ever used CoinStar to gather money for a lapdance
...A perfectly bronzed body in the middle of January seems normal
...Your hats and neck ties have been places you can only dream of
...You can pull into the parking lot and know who's working that day




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LOL

These are great!


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