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Thread: Diets

  1. #1
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Diets

    I am always amused when I hear commericials for some sort of dietary supplement where they point out that people lose weight...."when combined with healthy eating and exercise." No shit.


    "Secret of Atkins diet - it's boring"

    http://icwales.icnetwork.co.uk/0100n...name_page.html
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Diets

    LOL...yeah...I agree.

    "It'll speed up your metabolism..and help you lose 30 pounds in 2 weeks. (actor) I lost 67 pounds in 6 weeks! I feel great! (small print on screen) Results not typical...side effects include heart palpitations, sweaty palms, inability to masturbate, see straight or pee regularly. See your doctor if you have any of the above symptoms. Drug not tested by FDA, so take a risk. Most people have more results with side-effects than actual weight loss."

  3. #3
    Featured Member GnBeret's Avatar
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    Default Re:Diets

    When I was in 7th grade, my P.E. teacher was a former Marine Corps Drill Instructor. A kid asked him about diets one day, and his response was priceless, to wit:

    "You see all those diets your mamas are on? They're all bullshit... there's only one true way to lose weight: Get off your ass, start exercising, and stop shoveling so much damned food in your mouth!"
    "That's your answer Old Man? I guess you're a Hard Case too...."
    - Luke
    "Some men, you just can't reach...."
    - Boss, re Luke

    If there's one thing in my life these years have taught me,
    it's that you can always see it coming, but you can never stop it.
    -Cowboy Junkies

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    Default Re:Diets

    Quote Originally Posted by GnBeret link=board=1;threadid=13058;start=msg169719#msg169 719 date=1094307031


    "You see all those diets your mamas are on? They're all bullshit... there's only one true way to lose weight: Get off your ass, start exercising, and stop shoveling so much damned food in your mouth!"
    Thats great! I love it!
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

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    Default Re:Diets

    Quote Originally Posted by GnBeret link=board=1;threadid=13058;start=msg169719#msg169 719 date=1094307031
    When I was in 7th grade, my P.E. teacher was a former Marine Corps Drill Instructor. A kid asked him about diets one day, and his response was priceless, to wit:
    Wait............7TH grade??????????? kinda harsh for a 7th grader to hear something like that don't you think?
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

  6. #6
    Featured Member GnBeret's Avatar
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    Default Re:Diets

    Quote Originally Posted by big_daddy link=board=1;threadid=13058;start=msg169792#msg169 792 date=1094321250

    Wait............7TH grade??????????? kinda harsh for a 7th grader to hear something like that don't you think?
    Yea, but ya have to give him a pass - he couldn't help it - the Corps does that kind of thing to your mind.
    "That's your answer Old Man? I guess you're a Hard Case too...."
    - Luke
    "Some men, you just can't reach...."
    - Boss, re Luke

    If there's one thing in my life these years have taught me,
    it's that you can always see it coming, but you can never stop it.
    -Cowboy Junkies

  7. #7
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Diets

    kinda harsh for a 7th grader to hear something like that don't you think?
    I don't think so. Kids in America need to hear the straight shit more often, I think. Enough hand holding esteem raising ass patting.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  8. #8
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Diets

    LOL...Grn that great!! haahaahaa

    I should print that up and put it on my refrigerator...LOL...I'll advertise it and call it the "Right/Left Diet"...drug-free, etc, etc, etc...and then when they pay me the $150 for the starter kit, I'll send them a refrigerator lock, a new pair of shoe laces, and this little quote.

  9. #9
    Featured Member GnBeret's Avatar
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    Default Re:Diets

    Venus - with some well placed advertising, it'd likely work for awhile too, a la P.T. Barnum! Set up a Nevada Corp. with 3 - 4 LLC's/LLP's for stockholders, shut the whole thing down at the first sign of trouble, and you could probably manage to walk away from the whole thing with a fair-sized chunk of change and enough cut-outs between you and liability to keep smiling all the way to the bank!

    On the other hand, I HATE having to live looking over my shoulder.... LOL!
    "That's your answer Old Man? I guess you're a Hard Case too...."
    - Luke
    "Some men, you just can't reach...."
    - Boss, re Luke

    If there's one thing in my life these years have taught me,
    it's that you can always see it coming, but you can never stop it.
    -Cowboy Junkies

  10. #10
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re:Diets

    Quote Originally Posted by GnBeret link=board=1;threadid=13058;start=msg169719#msg169 719 date=1094307031
    When I was in 7th grade, my P.E. teacher was a former Marine Corps Drill Instructor. A kid asked him about diets one day, and his response was priceless, to wit:

    "You see all those diets your mamas are on? They're all bullshit... there's only one true way to lose weight: Get off your ass, start exercising, and stop shoveling so much damned food in your mouth!"
    AMEN!!!! The Corps strikes again!! You gotta love us motivated psycho Marines!!! We do know how to get out point across.

    Kitana

    Hoo-Rah Devil Dawgs!!!!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Feel like a damn salt lick at the goats petting zoo!
    <08SM>

  11. #11
    Featured Member GnBeret's Avatar
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    Default Re:Diets

    Quote Originally Posted by kitana link=board=1;threadid=13058;start=msg170027#msg170 027 date=1094351493
    AMEN!!!! The Corps strikes again!! You gotta love us motivated psycho Marines!!! We do know how to get out point across.

    Kitana

    Hoo-Rah Devil Dawgs!!!!
    Wait, whoa, timeout... all stop for a sec. YOU WERE IN THE CORPS?

    Damn... say it ain&#039;t so! No, no, no! Somebody, anybody... PLEASE... help me out here - I do NOT need to fall in love again, especially with a woman who can kick my ass!

    Ha ha ha... LOL Kit!
    "That's your answer Old Man? I guess you're a Hard Case too...."
    - Luke
    "Some men, you just can't reach...."
    - Boss, re Luke

    If there's one thing in my life these years have taught me,
    it's that you can always see it coming, but you can never stop it.
    -Cowboy Junkies

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re:Diets

    Gee, Moj, I was just gonna "pat yurass"


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

  13. #13
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Diets

    Gee, Moj, I was just gonna "pat yurass"
    I really don&#039;t see myself having an issue with that.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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