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Thread: Building a fireproof sandbag bunker!

  1. #1
    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Building a fireproof sandbag bunker!

    Greetings all

    got 5 daughters,so i live with 6 females.I work with 20-30 females a night.
    I saw this and basically have no one else to share it with without getting killed,so here goes...
    ((dives behind sandbag bunker))

    THE GUYS' RULES I have finally gotten all the rules together
    We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for two weeks is a problem. See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 4 days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

    1. Please don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Fishing, Dirt bikes & Fast cars, or That Friend of hers that you wouldn't mind screwing.

    1. Yes, You do have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.



    Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.


  2. #2
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:Building a fireproof sandbag bunker!

    LOL Beat ya to this pages ago, hon..



    Here's a couple more that we've had...

  3. #3
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:Building a fireproof sandbag bunker!

    LOL, this one sure makes the rounds

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  4. #4
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:Building a fireproof sandbag bunker!

    LMFAO uh huh B

  5. #5
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Building a fireproof sandbag bunker!

    This is one has every right to be repeated.....often.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  6. #6
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    Default Re:Building a fireproof sandbag bunker!

    Thanks MnM needed that. heard it a long time ago and still funny as ever. HEre is something every guy needs for his female friends

    Booty Call Agreement


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2002, by_______________________, between ____________and______________.


    THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

    1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.

    2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

    3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.

    4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.

    5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The
    answer is no, so don't ask.

    6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from
    out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.

    7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.

    8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.

    9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.

    10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.

    11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.

    12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.

    13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the
    fuck home.

    14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.

    15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

    16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's
    girlfriend/boyfriend."

    17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.

    19. No condoms, no fucking. Carry your ass home.

    20. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.

    21. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.


    * EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:

    The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically
    become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.


    Participating Party

    Signature_______________________________________
    Date: ________________

    Participating Party

    Signature_______________________________________
    Date: ________________



  7. #7
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:Building a fireproof sandbag bunker!

    Where in the hell did you find that?LMAO!!!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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