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Thread: I Need a Lie

  1. #1
    Veteran Member Gerina's Avatar
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    Default I Need a Lie

    For cultural and political reasons I cannot tell my folks that I'm a dancer. I'm fresh out of college, so it's expected that I would be relatively successful, but not on the scale that I am. I was thinking I could pull off pretending I only make about 60 grand a year. What's a good profession that has such a starting salary or odd enough that I could pretend it does? I have a bachelor's degree in chemical engineering and need a good lie.
    ...and the day came, when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became worse than the risk it took to blossom.

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    Senior Member Natascha's Avatar
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    Default Re:I Need a Lie

    Don't be conspicuous. Live beneath your means and invest.
    Your family will be suspicious if you seem to have no schedule and can get a lot of time off.

    I am a published writer, so my family really doesn't know how much I should be making. Furthermore, it doesn't seem odd that I am able to travel as often as I do.
    It seems that you should consider "a lie" that will not only serve to explain your financial status, but your relatively fluid schedule as well.
    Maybe online sales? Consulting? Some sort of contract work?
    Good luck.

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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:I Need a Lie

    That's easy! Just tell them you sell drugs!



    Kidding of course. If you work evenings, the toughest part is explaining availability during the day, so you either need to invent an at-home day job or pick something that makes good money at night.

    If you do work nights, you might want to try explaining you're a VIP hostess at one of the city clubs. This is basically high-end waitressing for skybox/VIP guests. Good $$ and explains away the hours.

    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Veteran Member Gerina's Avatar
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    Default Re:I Need a Lie

    Lol, polecat, that's exactly what my fiancee said. I could just tell them that they don't want to know, but then they would definitely think I'm selling drugs. Right now, my mother already thinks I'm a cocktail waitress in a high class club, catering to yuppies and business folks. She's under the impression that this is temporary and I'll be entering something more professional, especially w/ my $120,000+ education. I am investing and saving my money and living within a smaller means than what I really make, but it's still obvious some of the perks I'm now getting (i.e. my first car ever is a bmw). She's 1000 miles away from me and my club schedules me a month in advance, so if she visits it won't be hard to schedule myself for days only that week and avoid her phonecalls nights I'm working. Right now, she thinks my fiancee is why I have such a luxurious lifestyle (he's a software engineer) and is always on my ass to become more independent - such irony since I at least triple his salary, lol. Those in his family that don't know are also a little suspicious of my intentions toward him because I haven't yet gotten a professional job.
    ...and the day came, when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became worse than the risk it took to blossom.

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    Veteran Member Gerina's Avatar
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    Default Re:I Need a Lie

    The other thing I considered, as well, is that a professional position implies room for advancement, so when my investments pay off I could just claim I go a raise. In the meantime, when I retire from stripping, I do plan on finding a "real" job.
    ...and the day came, when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became worse than the risk it took to blossom.

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    Veteran Member SaraNLA's Avatar
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    Default Re:I Need a Lie

    There is no better lie than that of the fiance helping you out -- especially if you guys are living together. I think everyone's ideas are great, but the less lies you tell, the less chances you have of getting caught.

    Just an idea, but could you tell them you want to explore some other options before you head out into the corporate world? Any creative interests you might have....classes you might be taking to sort of explain why you're 'dragging your feet' getting a 'real' job?

    Well, have they met your fiance? If they see you two are IN LOVE I doubt they would think twice about your intentions. Good luck!
    Let your indulgence set me free. - Shakespeare

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    Veteran Member Prina's Avatar
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    Default Re:I Need a Lie

    Tell them Pharmaceutical sales. You have a flexible schedule and make around 75K a year (that's including bonus).

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re:I Need a Lie


    How bout some sort of consulting where you can work from home a lot, but sometimes you have to go to the office at night for video teleconferences with people in different timezones?

    Or you could say that your bar contacts got you a job doing chemical/health code testing. I had a girlfreind who did this once... she spent about 2-3 days in a lab testing random samples of cheese, milk, ice cream, etc., and the rest of the time doing inspections at college cafeterias, restaurants, and bars. So, you could say your doing that and you inspect bars at night a lot so you don't work so much during the day.

    OTOH - why let that 120k education just sit there? The longer you do nothing, the harder it will be to explain that to future employers and the more outdated your knowledge will be. Why not get a real job and dance one or two nights a week?



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    Default Re:I Need a Lie

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=27;threadid=13361;start=msg174770#msg17 4770 date=1095116052
    That's easy! Just tell them you sell drugs!
    After reading her major I was thinking more like manufactured them.

    I like the pharmaceutical sales suggestion. It sounds very reasonable.


  10. #10
    Veteran Member Gerina's Avatar
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    Default Re:I Need a Lie

    Thanks so much for the suggestions, everyone. I really like the idea of pharmecudical sales, but my mom already has prejudices against that, especially since she knew someone who was literally sleeping with doctors to up sales. She works for some engineers, so I was trying to stray away from claiming I got a direct position 'cause they will ask too many questions. I know I might be being paranoid, but I do not want any complications resulting from the truth. So yeah, thanks to Lena, I "have an interview with the county health dept." next week, and it's going to go really well

    As far as not using my education, I don't mean forever. I plan to save up to get my MBA, hopefully starting in a couple years, and in the meantime I am really burnt out from school. I could use a break, and stripping has been the first job I love. I know it's not a permanent career choice, but it is a terrific job for the next few years. I'm not in a hurry to start my career yet.
    ...and the day came, when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became worse than the risk it took to blossom.

  11. #11
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    Default Re:I Need a Lie

    Good god. $60k starting salary? Umm... if I knew, I'd have a different major.



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

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    Default Re:I Need a Lie

    I work in Finance (my degree) during the day. Full time. I was working (dancing) weekends and the occasional night until earlier this year. Now I want to start dancing again P/T, but I am scared to death of all the police activity. Bear in mind that you will not be able to pass the background checks for engineering certifications, general background checks, etc, if some cop decided to pick on you, even if you've done nothing.

    When I was in your position, I said that I had independent projects (i.e. business plan creation, tax returns, creating financial software, etc), which yielded a little additional money. Or I that I was dating someone with money who bought me presents.

    It's not really any of their business, so don't feel the need to justify yourself too much. Keep is simple and brief. You can tell your mom leases on BMW's are super cheap right now, because they ARE. Especially if you have the 300 series. There are lots of articles to support this.

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    Member ccgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:I Need a Lie

    it's SOO funny to hear the suggestion about pharm sales 'cause whenever i work days at a club i meet a ton of men who do that, getting their vice in between appointments. so now, when i hear that someone is in pharm sales, STRIP CLUB is the first thing i think! :-D

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    Default Re:I Need a Lie

    I just finished college as well and tell my parents that I bartend and cocktail waitress, that way when I do have bad night I can still vent to my parents. Also by changing the story slightly (like real names instead of stage ones) you can actually talk about the job ie: crappy tippers, crude employees... It's worked for me even while I was in college...
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



  15. #15
    Veteran Member Gerina's Avatar
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    Default Re:I Need a Lie

    Sheesh, it's amusing how many people sell drugs - so much more respectable than being a stripper
    ...and the day came, when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became worse than the risk it took to blossom.

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