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Thread: Showering Order of Operations

  1. #1
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Showering Order of Operations

    Order of Operations in the AM Shower (AM = whatever time you wake up and get moving)

    Get wet
    Wash arms
    Wash face
    Wash head
    Wash torso
    Wash nether region
    Wash arse
    Wash legs and feet in hopes that all arse ickies will be washed off of scrubby gloves for tomorrow's showering round
    Shave face
    Shave head (when applicable)

    total time: 4 minutes without head shave...8 -10 minutes with.

    Your routine?
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  2. #2
    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    Get Wet
    Shave nether regions (when applicable)
    Shampoo hair
    Put in conditioner
    wash torso
    wash arms
    Wash nether region
    Wash ass
    Wash legs/feet
    Rinse out conditioner
    Wash face (no soap)

    Can be done in 2 minutes without the shaving...but i usually like to hang out for like 10 minutes.

  3. #3
    Veteran Member afxturnip's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    Okay this is officially the strangest thread I've read here at Stripper Web.

    Although it does remind me of the Button/Zip conversation on Babylon 5.



    -afx

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    Turn water on
    Step in
    Bitch that it's too fuckin hot
    Wash head, rinse, repeat
    Apply conditioner to head, chest and "nether regions"
    Shave head
    Shave chest, notice my nipples feel really good, play with nipples
    Start to shave nether regions, discover nipples STILL feel really good, play with nipples, exersize wrist of the day, forget to finish shaving nether regions
    Wash arms, including pits
    Wash torso
    Wash legs
    Wash nuts(nether regions is soooooo girly)
    Wash ass, rip REALLY wet fart, giggle like a schoolgirl
    rinse entire body
    realize balls ain't smooth and finally finish shaving
    time:20-30mins

  5. #5
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    LOL...okay, okay...I'll endulge you.

    Turn on shower...wait for the cold water to pass
    Get in shower, adjust the temperature
    Stand under shower and get warm
    Reach out and pull Makayla into the shower
    Pull out bath toys and put her on the far side of the tub
    Shampoo hair (rinse and repeat)
    Condition hair (but don't rinse yet)
    Shave legs (heh, and arms)
    Shave the kitty (or trim it...depends on my mood)
    Grab the "no more tears" (I wish) shampoo and suds up Makayla's hair
    Pick her up kicking and screaming...hold her slightly under the shower to rinse
    Wash her body and put her back under the shower while making goofy noises
    Soap up my body, rinse conditioner
    Turn off shower, towel off
    Wrap up Makayla

    Total time: 30-35 minutes (It will be less once she stops fighting me washing her hair, heh)

  6. #6
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    Fun topic! Let's see if I can break it down. I normally shower at night, because during the day, Delia likes to play "Shove things under the door and watch Mommy hop out and push them back to me" hahaha

    Fight Hubby to get out of the bathroom, because he always wants to "watch".

    Make sure I have towels & washcloth.

    Turn on shower, hot first, then add cool until it's the right temp, but still HOT.

    Hop in and wet hair immediately.

    Shampoo hair, wash face.

    Notice that Delia has shoved her comb underneath the door and is giggling on the other side. Hop out of the shower freezing my arse off, and push the comb back to her. Before I can get back to the shower, we play comb tennis a few more times.

    Finally get back in. Rinse hair out.

    Condition hair, shave legs, soap up with my toasted almond body wash stuff (it smells so purty!)

    Rinse hair out and finally get out of the shower.

    Total Time: 35 minutes
    Total Time if I shower at night: 20 minutes


  7. #7
    God/dess VADEN's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    Leave it to Moj to create this most humorous thread...

    Turn on the water
    Adjust the temperature till nice and hot..
    Stand under water and enjoy with eyes closed for a minute.. :
    Wash & rinse face
    Shampoo hair
    Apply shave gel to underarms
    Rinse shampoo
    Shave underarms
    Scrub entire body w/wash cloth and body wash
    Apply shave gel to taco
    Shave taco
    Wash taco w/cleanser
    Scrub feet w/exfoliating scrub
    Scrub elbows and knees w/exfoliating scrub
    May begin singing at this point..
    Apply conditioner to hair
    Apply shave gel to legs
    Shave legs
    Rinse out conditioner
    Rinse everything (again)
    Moan because I have to get out..
    Step out
    Dry off
    Dodge cat that is running to get in the shower

    Total time: 30-40 min. I take long ass showers...



  8. #8
    Senior Member RUSTY's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    Okey Dokey....Goes as follows...

    Turn some tunes on really loud so no one can hear me sing along.

    Turn on the water to the hottest I can handle.

    Stand there and enjoy the warmth.

    Wet hair and apply shampoo.

    Apply face scrub, scrub and rinse.

    Wash out shampoo.

    Wash face with clenser and rinse.

    Apply conditioner.

    Shave arms, pits, hoochie coochie, and legs in that order.

    Apply body wash with loofa.

    Rinse off body wash.

    Scrub feeties with pumice to get extra soft.

    Rinse out conditioner.

    Rinse off entire self one last time.

    Realize I'm going to run out of hot water in the near future and that my hubby is probably wondering if I drown.

    Get out of tub and back to reality.






    RUSTY

  9. #9
    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    I used to shampoo last,but then it kept saying rinse repeat and i would have to start all over again.

  10. #10
    God/dess VADEN's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    I used to shampoo last,but then it kept saying rinse repeat and i would have to start all over again.
    LMAO!



  11. #11
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    Set out clean clothes or P.J.s
    Put towel down on floor to catch drips
    Start running water
    Chase husband out of bathroom
    Remove robe
    Chase husband out of bathroom
    Get in shower rinse down
    Yell at husband to get out of the bathroom
    Shampoo
    Rinse
    Put in conditioner
    Shave kitty and one leg
    Yell at husband to get the F*** out of the bathroom before I cut myself
    Shave other leg and pits
    Rinse conditioner
    Get pushed out of nice warm water by husband
    Scrub each other down with girly poof thingy
    Drop poofy thingy ang get poked in inappropriate place by husband
    Poke him back
    Mess around untill water gets cold
    Franticly race to bedroom, getting drips everywhere but the floor towel
    Get molested
    Repeat shower process alone
    Clean bathroom and dry floor

    Total time: 1.5-2 hours

    If he's at work: 20 min.


  12. #12
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    Get wet.
    Wash hair.Rinse.
    Wash body.Rinse.
    Wash hair again.Rinse.
    Wash face.Rinse.
    Conditioner hair.Rinse.
    Wash body again.Rinse.
    Finish with a cold rinse,all over.

    I do more things than this,but no one needs to know me that damn well.LOL!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  13. #13
    Veteran Member DJ_WuLf's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    Hmmmm So Rhia doesn't shave her "nether regions" I find that uniqueness somehow exciting. I can't remember the last time I saw a beaver in it's natural habitat.

    14 years working in Strip Clubs. "What a long strange trip it's been"

  14. #14
    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    Ok... when I'm running late, this is my routine..

    > Stumble into the bathroom
    > Scramble for my shaver and toothbrush
    > Apply toothpaste to toothbrush and set on shelf in shower
    > Turn on water
    > Jump in
    > Close door
    > Water is too hot!!!!!
    > Stay under the water because I'm a late bastard
    > Hyper wash my body with liquid dial shower soap - start from the pits down to the toes, miraculously not missing anything in-between
    > Rinse body while shampooing my hair
    > Rinse my hair (yes, that's singular... don't laugh, I wash my HAIR)
    > Apply conditioner - don't rinse because it's Nioxin baby!
    > Brush my teeth using my right hand and shave using my left
    > Rinse face and hair, while still brushing my teeth
    > Rinse mouth
    > Realize I still have my shirt and boxers on
    > say "SHIT!! DAMMIT!! [email protected]$!&!$!"
    > take off clothes
    > shut off water

    time: 2-5 min

  15. #15
    Veteran Member Lurker_001's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    AinNY
    Get Wet
    Shave nether regions (when applicable)
    Shampoo hair
    Dude,You really need to WASH the "nether regions" first before shaving.You can get a nasty infection like that.

  16. #16
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    LOL! This is just too hard to pass up.

    Get undressed
    Turn on water
    Make sure all products are in the shower (sometimes stuff sneaks out)
    Get in
    Get wet
    Shampoo hair
    Rinse hair
    Put conditioner in hair
    Turn off shower head
    Shave legs
    Shave armpits
    Turn on shower head
    Rinse legs
    Turn off shower head
    Soap up: Chest, arms, legs, kitty, backside... in that order
    Soap up feet and use pumice
    Turn on shower head
    Turn water to cold
    Rinse off soap
    Rinse out conditioner
    Wash face
    Turn off water
    Squeeze out hair
    Towel off
    Get out



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

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    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    I just stand there like eddie murphy in comming to america.

    Someone says"the royal penis is clean"and they towel me off,im done.

  18. #18
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    Okay this is officially the strangest thread I've read here at Stripper Web.
    My work is done.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  19. #19
    Senior Member NurseBettie13's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    LOL! This is all reminding me of that movie where Christian Bale plays a pyscho killer and goes over his whole routine in the shower... facial scrub and all. I can't remember the name of it for the life of me right now. Has anyone seen it. He listens to Hughey Lewis and the News... . Great movie but pretty strange...


  20. #20
    Veteran Member Mercury_Deep's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    Ooo me too!!

    Turn on shower, wait for steam to show
    step in and adjust temperature
    stand under water 1 minute and daydream
    wash hair
    rinse and set water back to hellyun hot
    apply conditioner and comb thru (cuz I have some nappy ass hair)
    let conditioner set while I soap down, starting with shoulders
    stop at belly ring, and make sure it's still fastened tightly
    soap up legs and feet
    rinse off
    wash hands
    wash "the tender area" with special soap
    wash hands
    wash face
    daydream under water for a few more minutes
    towel off and get out
    dance around to the radio
    bursh teeth and shave body where needed
    realize it's been 30-45 mins and I'm still not ready!!!
    Eyeliner and charisma go a long way!

  21. #21
    God/dess VADEN's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    LOL! This is all reminding me of that movie where Christian Bale plays a pyscho killer and goes over his whole routine in the shower... facial scrub and all. I can't remember the name of it for the life of me right now. Has anyone seen it. He listens to Hughey Lewis and the News... . Great movie but pretty strange...
    "American Psycho"

    I thought the same thing....



  22. #22
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    Quote Originally Posted by VADEN link=board=1;threadid=13389;start=msg175705#msg175 705 date=1095265372
    LOL! This is all reminding me of that movie where Christian Bale plays a pyscho killer and goes over his whole routine in the shower... facial scrub and all. I can't remember the name of it for the life of me right now. Has anyone seen it. He listens to Hughey Lewis and the News... . Great movie but pretty strange...
    "American Psycho"

    I thought the same thing....
    Mmm... Christian Bale...
    Even though it was a totally fucked up movie, it was all worth it to see him mostly naked....



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

  23. #23
    God/dess VADEN's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    Mmm... Christian Bale...
    Even though it was a totally fucked up movie, it was all worth it to see him mostly naked....
    No kidding, I pause the movie everytime during his ass shot, straight out of the shower..

    Oh my God do my thighs tighten when I see that!



  24. #24
    God/dess VADEN's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    This is for Mackenzie..




  25. #25
    Veteran Member Aleah's Avatar
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    Default Re:Showering Order of Operations

    This one is kinda fun, huh? Ok. Here's mine.
    Wake up and wash face.
    Crank up radio (this week I'm rocking to 80's hairbands)
    Turn on shower and wait for the warm water and if I'm first in the building, it takes FOREVER!!
    Finally get in and just stand there for ages sometimes.
    Wash my hair first and read the bottle (just in case there is something new on it)
    Rinse and condition my hair and try to leave it on as long as possible.
    Grab and proceed to use the body scrub that smells like coffee. YUM!
    Ok, here comes the favorite song so I have to dance and try not to slip.
    Rinse out the conditioner and follow up with my delisssshhhh chocolate body wash and do a sexy dance with the suds and try not to slip again.
    At last it's time to shave and by this time I realize I have been in the shower far too long and I try to shave quickly which makes me miss areas or nick myself.
    My favorite part is the bon-bon body scrub but if I was rushing and had to shave I forget that it's not always a good idea to use the srub so soon and it starts to burn like hell and I start screaming.
    I frighten my husband and the dog by the noise and get out. My day has begun.

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