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Thread: Hope I'm not Bad Friend

  1. #1
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Hope I'm not Bad Friend

    Hi, all. So my (long-time good) friend calls me up, saying she has an emergency. She asks me for $220.00 for two tires that have gone bad on her car. (She has helped me out in the past). I know she is struggling hard, but so am I. I recently sent her a box of frozen chicken, some $ & some vitamins. So why this post? I guess kinda guilty, but I just can't. Actually I've been kinda distancing myself from her (w/love) just because I have a lot to focus on. Not to be mean, but it's always a "downer" (not her fault) & I can't really be a good friend to anyone but myself. Have a lot to deal with, here, (like lots of folks). Last year, I gave her the $ for a tire that went bad, the guy told her it was put on wrong, wore unevenly. Her car is only 3 yrs. old (bought new). I know she dosen't drive a lot either. & I know she's being truthful. Like I said, I feel slightly guilty, but not that I didn't do the right thing (for myself). The last I heard, she was going to ask someone else, but didn't think that person would help. So I guess I just had to spill this, thanks for "listening".


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:Hope I'm not Bad Friend

    I don't think you are being a bad friend at all.It sounds like she only calls you when she needs something anyway.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  3. #3
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re:Hope I'm not Bad Friend

    TY, O.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re:Hope I'm not Bad Friend

    :wink:
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Veteran Member bloodydewdrop's Avatar
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    Default Re:Hope I'm not Bad Friend

    Do what you have to do to take care of yourself first. It is noble to help other when you can, but it seems as if this girl is relying on you too much. You can still be a friend (and a more distance on if you need to) and let her figure out her finances on her own. Good luck hun!

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Hope I'm not Bad Friend

    Whirlerz....taking care of yourself first is not a bad thing....especially when it involves struggling financially. $220 is a shitload of money...I honestly cannot imagine asking a friend to do that for me.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re:Hope I'm not Bad Friend

    TY, BDD, & Moj!!!. Warm fuzzies here. Was incredulous about this, (& Still am). I asked her about the food, "oh it was ok"? Mentioned my recently purchased car, (2 sh** cars in 2 yrs, finally a decent 1). Oh, I forgot about your car. Well, I KNOW she didn't forget I'm the sole support of my fam. mem. in 24/7 care. HELLO. Like I said, I had been keeping away, she's just too negative for me anyway. She said "well I'm gonna call L. (bus. owner). Cool. Thanks again.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Hope I'm not Bad Friend

    It sounds to me like you need to start considering if SHE is a good friend for you.

    Obviously, if you are in financial jeopardy or things are tight with you, you're explanation that helping her out would put a lot of stress and sacrifice upon you should at least mean something. It sounds like this information has only made her more aggressive and demanding rather than understanding and accepting.

    Many of us will indeed put ourselves on the line for good friends, but it's never for the kinds of people that expect or anticipate it as 'status quo' .

    This particular situation sounds more to me like you are in conflict over personal sacrifice vs. friendship, but I think you made the right decision. The behavior your friend has exhibited has truly deemed her unworthy as someone to sacrifice over. You shouldn't feel guilty over this one bit, even if somewhere in the back of your mind you realize there are cases where personal sacrifice of this scale might be warranted... just not in this case.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

  9. #9
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Hope I'm not Bad Friend

    Sometimes friendships can be a real pain. Some of us have a tendency to attract needy broken people (not saying you do, but I'm familiar with your situation). Breaking the cycle with one of those "friends" is very difficult. Somehow we feel as though we have failed them. Distancing yourself is smart...and if she is one of those endlessly needy broken people, she will do things to yank you back in...such as asking for 200 clams for tires. With any luck, the denial this time will move her to seek a new person to latch onto.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  10. #10
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re:Hope I'm not Bad Friend

    TY again, Moj, & pole. I was out today, it was nice out, I go to this outdoor beer garden biker bar on the chain o' lakes. Fun, relaxing, & I met a nice group a people with the band. I was thinking, it was pretty damn ballsy of her, she called me FIRST. Hmm. I think it's time to turn off the "Dumb ass play me" sign on my forehead, visible to people like her. Her son make great $$, & she has a livin b/f (he's not working).


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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