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    Featured Member tRoUbLeMaKeR's Avatar
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    Default Touching

    Hi... I've noticed a lot of girls at my new club are very flirty with customers - sitting on their lap, rubbing their head, etc. Back home this type of touching wasn't allowed on the floor so it's kind of weird to me. One of the bouncers told me that that is how I'm gonna really make money. but I don't know. On the floor I have my space and u have yours. Unless I know you I'm not going to assume you want me to be on your lap.... Plus any flirtatious touching I usually save for the back because I assume at that point me and the customer are a little more aquainted andi have a better idea of what he might respond to.

    Is it an unwritten stripper rule that I need to do this on the floor to make $? (god I hope not!) :

    Guys - how do u feel about this?

    What could I do instead of invading someone elses personal space?...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re:Touching

    Quote Originally Posted by tRoUbLeMaKeR link=board=9;threadid=13587;start=msg177674#msg177 674 date=1095633723


    Is it an unwritten stripper rule that I need to do this on the floor to make $? (god I hope not!) :
    I do not sit on guys laps to make money. In five years of dancing, I've often seen that the guys that insist on you sitting on their laps typically want to paw at you for free until you hit them up for a dance and then they turn you down and begin the cycle all over again with another dancer.

    I've done quite well in my dancing career without sitting on laps.

    When chatting with someone, I typically prefer to sit across from them, make lots of eye contact, smile, and use much more subtle physical cues like grazing my nails up their arm once in a while.

    If you do what the other girls do at your job to make money and are uncomfortable with it, the guys will be able to tell and few guys want to spend money on an uncomfortable-looking dancer.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Touching

    You'd be surprised what goes on 'on the floor' at many SF clubs.

    There is no 'unwritten rule' for what level of contact on the floor is needed to make dance or VIP sales. But there is, however, regional and local club expectation levels that may have evolved. In other words, at some point in time, dancers started increasing floor contact/flirtation levels to sell dances and others followed suit to compete. Now over time, customer expectations have been raised to come to expect this. Once pandora's box has been opened...

    This doesn't mean you have to fall inline and perform this yourself. Good sales skills and hustling skills can overcome just about anything. A smart dancer will use this to their advantage, evolve her sales pitch around it, and use it as a unique and interesting facet of her to pull in customers.

    Customers WILL automatically assume a difference in floor approach will equate to a difference in dance quality or VIP quality. Your job will be to convince them, without a doubt, they will have an excellent experience after the sale.

    Customer personal space isn't a big consideration in many stripclubs. The upperscale clubs indeed expect a certain class level, but for the most part- customers like attention from pretty, scantily clad women. It just sounds to me like your co-workers are 'giving up the farm' for $0 versus prying wallets open to get the same kind of attention. Not a good dynamic, but you can overcome and even profit from this if you're savvy.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Featured Member CalifSCVisitor65's Avatar
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    Default Re:Touching

    Quote Originally Posted by tRoUbLeMaKeR link=board=9;threadid=13587;start=msg177674#msg177 674 date=1095633723
    Hi... I've noticed a lot of girls at my new club are very flirty with customers - sitting on their lap, rubbing their head, etc. Back home this type of touching wasn't allowed on the floor so it's kind of weird to me. One of the bouncers told me that that is how I'm gonna really make money. but I don't know. On the floor I have my space and u have yours. Unless I know you I'm not going to assume you want me to be on your lap.... Plus any flirtatious touching I usually save for the back because I assume at that point me and the customer are a little more aquainted andi have a better idea of what he might respond to.

    Is it an unwritten stripper rule that I need to do this on the floor to make $? (god I hope not!) :

    Guys - how do u feel about this?

    What could I do instead of invading someone elses personal space?...
    As a customer, I only offer my lap, if I intend to get a dance from you. Although, I can see where sitting in separate chairs can make having a conversation difficult due to the music.

    Although I have never had anyone rub my head on the floor or in the VIP rooms before.

    One time this dancer got into my friends lap as soon as we sat down in the club without even asking and that was annoying. Besides she was fugly. My fav was saying "dayum, she's giving us dancers a bad name" because the other dancer was practically trying to make out with my friend.


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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re:Touching

    Personally, I find dancers in my lap prior to my requesting a dance presumptous and not infrequently overbearing. If you're comfortable and you know what you're doing--and it shows, it's also completely unnecessary. If I want you in my lap, you'll know that in no uncertain terms.

    Nina's points here should be well taken.

    Two cents.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Newbie GoldClubGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:Touching

    I rarely sit in a guys lap..I've done it maybe 2, 3 times. I agree, it gives them an opportunity to paw at you, and I dontknow about anyone else, but it puts me in a bad mood. I see other girls do it, but thats them, not me. I usually sit beside them. But, whatever works..

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:Touching

    The only time I will sit in a guy's lap is under one or both of the following conditions:
    * He has spent money on me and wants to spend more however is just "taking a break"
    * He is a regular


    Otherwise, I will approach them from the front or side (within vision) as I know how un-nerving it is for alot of guys when a girl approaches from behind. Not only that.. it allows me to gauge his reaction so that I know whether to divert myself to someone else or to approach.

    I also have subtle body contact due to the fact that if they want more body contact from me.. they pay for it.

    Touching the arm, touching the leg, and other "safe" zones whilst talking/flirting with them.

    If they are standing up.. then I might pull in closer if they show favourable body language or else do the same.

    Once again.. it is about salesmanship. Sales isn't just verbal.. there are the 'non verbal' ways to sell as well.


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    Veteran Member ladysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re:Touching

    Ditto what goldcoast said. There are ways to non-verbally sell a dance by touching the customer in a flirt way on the arm or shoulder. But for the most part i never have to resort to sitting on customers laps or other "touching"....

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    Veteran Member azamber's Avatar
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    Default Re:Touching

    On the other hand...

    Maybe it's just me, maybe it's AZ, but here, I find that sitting on a guys lap more often than not, gets me a dance, and I sit on his leg, not his dick. Here's how I do it, so I don't invade his space:

    I approach, put my hand on his back or shoulder and say hello, introduce myself, how ya doin, sometimes, they non-verbally offer me their leg to sit on. If not, i ask, "May I sit here?", gesture to his leg, usually, they say yes, every once in a while, they say no, and those are the ones who aren't going to get a dance anyway (I know, I tried to hustle them anyway). Or if I'm cold, I ask to share their body heat, and I'll sit on their lap and snuggle for a second. Who'd deny a half naked woman that?? I haven't had one yet, funny how men want to come to the aid of women in need of warmth, they usually put their arm around me first!

    Then small talk for the rest of the song. We have a VIP room, so that's where I start, "Would you like to go join me in VIP?" if not, "Well, how about one here?" If I'm on his lap, like I said, he'll usually say yes. If his hands wander, I casually move them away while smiling or talking. Usually, they get it. The ones that don't get it would be a problem anyway, they'd just wait until I was actually topless and dancing for them to paw at me if I weren't already on his lap.

    I am one of the girls who uses physical contact in my hustle, as verfolgung observed. I'm a very physical person, and people react well to my touch, so maybe it is my gift. Few people pull away or give me any sense that they don't want to be touched. I think especially in our clubs, men come there partly for physical contact.

    But don't ever do anything you are uncomfortable with. I am comfortable touching people, it makes me feel connected to them. I just wanted to provide the other point of view, many of the girls here feel the opposite of me on this issue.

  10. #10
    Pamela
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    Default Re:Touching

    I often sat on laps with an invite first however. A regular i would sit next to and wait for an invite as well.

    I do touch hair, and talk very close, mainly a whisper, it's sexy to some guys. BUT i do have to feel a guy out, if he's enjoying me, i make moves, like a chair close to him, leaning over him with a whisper in the ear.

    I need to get that invite before i sit on a lap, and i do NOT move unles he buys!

    Pamela

    spelling errors.
    Last edited by Pamela; 12-17-2004 at 11:18 AM.

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    Senior Member tinygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:Touching

    Try reading the guys body language. You can usually tell if they are a bit reserved or shy and would prefer for you to sit in a chair next to them. If this is the case, I try to get closer to them once they feel comfortable with me in the conversation. (touching their shoulders, knees) One way to tell if they would like you to sit on their lap or not is by the position of their legs...if the legs are crossed and stay crossed, the lap is not open to you, so find a chair. Or if you ask to sit down and they instantly cross their legs, another sign to find a chair. If you don't want to come across as too forward...the "I'm cold, keep me warm" line works well. Also, people of different cultures have different rules about personal space. Looking up some basic info on body language online heled me out alot.

  12. #12
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re:Touching

    well, if i did get turned down.....id rather get turned down when im not sitting in some guys lap...lol


    im not a touchy feely type of girl unless someone has spend 200, 300 plus....

    although a couple of nights ago right before i left, my friend encouraged me to go up and talk to the guy "that wasnt buying dances" and try my hardest tecnique.

    I went up flirted with him and made eye contact, and touched his leg softly.... and 180 dollors later it was time for me to go home (30 minutes into the night shift, i did mid shift that night).

    Its funny though, because different tecniques work for different guys. You just have to first figure out how conservative he is first and go with it!

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    Featured Member tRoUbLeMaKeR's Avatar
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    Default Re:Touching

    I would find the whole flirty touchy thing to be easier to use on younger guys (being that I'm only 20) compared to an older guy.... I mean I get the impression that older guys are hit or miss. some like cultured mature women while others like wild young girls who are all over them......
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:Touching

    Quote Originally Posted by tRoUbLeMaKeR link=board=9;threadid=13587;start=msg182507#msg182 507 date=1096288066
    I would find the whole flirty touchy thing to be easier to use on younger guys (being that I'm only 20) compared to an older guy.... I mean I get the impression that older guys are hit or miss. some like cultured mature women while others like wild young girls who are all over them......
    I'm the complete opposite... I find older guys (over 30 years) an easier sell for me than younger guys. I don't like having to be overly affectionate to younger guys whereas I am totally okay doing that with older guys (I'm not overly affectionate or cold.. I go with whatever body language/vibes that person is giving me).

    I'm 25 going 26 this year... I don't "get" younger guys anymore. I am also finding them more and more to be a 'harder' sell due to the "I can get it for free" mentality that alot of them have... I tend to fall back on the "you may get it for free.. however it wouldn't be as good as I would do it".

    Regardless, I rather the older customers... the younger ones are more miss than hit with me. It's hard to convince them to part w/$50 to have a good time (or "harmless adult fun" or an "erotic good time" as I call it ).....

    In the end, you just have to 'read' the person.


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    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re:Touching

    I don't sit on laps either and make fine money. I do lots of eye contact and will touch shoulder, hands, arm, knee. I don't rub anywhere, just a light touch. A lot of the guys seem to like the holding hands thing.
    "I still have my name
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    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

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    Default Re:Touching

    Is there a book on this anywhere...ya know how to read people? Or better yet tailored to the exotic dancer? I have a hard time reading guys anyways....just keep trying
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re:Touching

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk link=board=9;threadid=13587;start=msg184140#msg184 140 date=1096442809
    Is there a book on this anywhere...ya know how to read people? Or better yet tailored to the exotic dancer? I have a hard time reading guys anyways....just keep trying
    http://www.dancerwealth.com -specific to exotic dancers

    As well as the body language (non-verbal communication) book by Allan Pease --- a good book for anyone who wants to improve their ability to "read" people in all areas of their life.. not just work.



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    Default Re:Touching

    Thanks for the complement GCG and a good book suggestion. Other material you should read is anything you can from Milton Erickson. He was probably one of the greatest masters of interpreting body language to have ever lived. I have an article on the home page of SW and it's also in the articles section on body language and I'll be providing a "part II" to that article within the week so stay tuned.

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    Senior Member Crystal585's Avatar
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    Default Re: Touching

    Sitting on guys laps is the norm in my club, but I have always felt strange about it, so I usually sit next to them first and spark up a conversation. The whole lap thing for me feels like an over pressured sell. Especially since the last time I tried it the guy I was sitting on asked me what I wanted as a present from him, as he licked his lips and then proceeded to ask me if I have been a good girl this year. I guess Santa came early this year to my club... YUK I may make less money but i think it looks strange when a girl plants herself on one guys lap .. he says no to the dance and then she moves on to the guy directly next to him. I think it is impersonal and doesnt get any more dances than the girl who doesnt sit on the guys lap but uses other tactics like eye contact, good conversation, and body language to sell the dance.

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    Curious Guest Sabrina Marie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Touching

    A hand on his thigh works well for me. Just high enough to get them interested but not high enough to realy please him or anything. A gentle squeeze when asking for the dance and look deep into his eyes. This works for me 8/10 times

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    Veteran Member livenudegirlsunite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Touching

    I am comfortable with either approach because I have worked in both types of clubs.
    In a club that allows the dancers to sit on the guys lap while not being paid for doing a dance it is very important to observe the guys behavior before approaching. It is also very important to mention a dance with in the first few minutes if you are sitting on the guys lap so that you know what type of guy you are dealing with. A lot of guys will take advantage of the situation in clubs that allow this and try to get as many girls to sit in their lap as possible. Some guys will also try to cop a feel, so be careful.
    Most people prefer to believe their leaders are just and fair even in the face of evidence to the contrary, because once a citizen acknowledges that the government under which they live is lying and corrupt, the citizen has to choose what he or she will do about it. - M Rivero

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    Senior Member voodoo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Touching

    I do it if the customer is spending money on me but "needs a break." It seems to keep him interested and speeds things along. I just don't think it's appriopriate to assume someone wants you to sit on their lap. On the other hand if you're only doing it to guys that spend lots of $$$ on you, then it shows favoritism and encourages them to keep spending money (because they think they're special). Or if another guy is eyeing you from across the room he might get the hint to spend more money on you later. But then again, maybe not. It's what I'm comfortable with. I could never just walk up to a guy and sit down on his lap.

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    Default Re: Touching

    Simply just quickly/light rub the guys shoulder while getting close to his ear and asking if he wants a dance. Have your voice be gentle and soft.

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    Veteran Member goldclubbing's Avatar
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    Default Re: Touching

    I enjoy flirtatous touching that invades my personal space...its a reason why I like going to the club to begin with. Although I find it awkward at times when a girl uses this technique and I have to tell her i don't want a dance or I'm waiting for my friend...some take really personally.

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    God/dess RedZ28's Avatar
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    Default Re: Touching

    I've only had three ladies sit on my lap. Two of which were girls I probably spent quite a bit on. If its really slow, they'd rather hang out with me for a bit because they know they'll make more doing laps for me than they would on stage. One girl was one I've never seen before, but I did get a dance from her because of her sales technique. Another girl actually gave me a backrub because she thought I looked like I needed it. And yeah I did get laps from her too.

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