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Thread: Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

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    Senior Member grace's Avatar
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    Default Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    OK, take this with a grain of salt, cause I just had the WORST night. It was super slow, and a ton of girls came in, for some reason -- we must have had *at least* three girls for every customer. So I was hustling harder than I ever have, approaching every guy in the place, even the ones who won't look at you when you walk up. I turned the sugar on extra high, with the following result:

    Two customers told me every last detail about the messy custody battles they're mixed up in.

    One guy told me everything about how his wife is cheating him.

    Four guys started bitching about work.

    One guy said "You make me feel guilty" -- and got up and LEFT. WTF?

    One guy told me all about his adorable children, including a cute story about his son and the zoo. This is the only one who got a dance from me. All the others got wierd, made very obvious signals for me to leave (putting wallets away, turning chair away, saying "see you later") and then got dances with other girls.

    Am I missing an opportunity to close with these guys when they start getting all personal? Or should I try to steer them away from these topics altogether? (I never ask people about their personal lives, they just seem to start unloading on me.) Does this ever happen to you? How do you deal with it?

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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    When they start unloading, if it's sad or negative at all, you have to either steer conversation elsewhere, or abandon ship. In my experience, anyways. Guys who get all bitter and jaded talking to you will blame you, somehow. It's your job to make them have fun- if that's impossible, then let them dump on someone else.

    I've had this problem before too.

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    Is the ultra-helpful-listening ear your typical personality?
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Veteran Member Prina's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    Give them a few dances and tell em it's "therapy"...lol I had a guy who went through a messy divorce. He would come in to let me know all the positive things he was doing to get his life back. Those guys are lonely and need some positive attention...he was good to me ...always vip for our "therapy sessions" most of it was just talking..hehe. At first I was a lil worried he might get attached but then he started dating again and "let me go." I haven't seen him in awhile soo I hope things turned out great for him.

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    Senior Member grace's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    Quote Originally Posted by MojoJojo link=board=27;threadid=13798;start=msg181177#msg18 1177 date=1096110005
    Is the ultra-helpful-listening ear your typical personality?
    With friends, yes -- I'm quite often the mommy/therapist type who tries to figure out what's wrong and fix it. With customers, no. I really tend to steer clear of personal questions, even "what do you do for a living?" I feel like they make more guys uncomfortable than not.

    That said, I do have a "soft" approach most of the time. I like to sit down, talk, make some casual, flirty contact, make the guy feel good, then ask for a dance. Usually works fine.

    I think it might have been the club I was at yesterday. I got curious and tried out a new one; it was pretty bad. I'd say 2/3 of guys were regulars, and most of the rest were just there to nurse a beer and sulk...the guys I clicked with were the ones who had never been there before. The only girls making money were two chunky, older blondes who knew every trick in the book, and two really pretty, shit-talking, aggressive-to-the-point-of-being-scary Latinas. LOL...I was really out of place.

    So I think it had a lot to do with the club -- but I also wonder if my skills are somehow lacking. Basically, I felt like I couldn't compete, and that's never a good feeling. How would you steer a conversation that had gotten bitter/jaded?




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    Featured Member bambiblue's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    When it's THAT slow, you don't really have the option of abandoning ship...well u do, but after a few drinks, you can steer them into a different direction. Try telling them to let's forget about all that bs and have fun....if they still won't buy dances, get the hell outta there.

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    Hey hey, never think that you can't compete!!!!!! Never ever!
    I once knew a girl that didn't have much in the way of beauty, but her personality made her more money than most of the other dancers, heck I would give her my money. She was friendly and funny and an all around great chick, it pissed of so many dancers that I had to laugh.
    Be yourself or be someone else, it's all a fantasy to the men.
    My advice when sitting with the guy, if he can't say anythng about himself, then talk about you. And laugh and act like you just LOVE talking to him. If you really don't want to keep talking, get up as if you need to go to the bathroom or to check when you are on stage. Tuurn to him and ask if he'd like a dance when you get back. If he says no then you are free and clear to hustle somewhere else, if he says yes, well you know the rest.
    This will save you time and you don't have to listen to the misery, plus you'll know if he's serious about spending money.
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    Grace - it is a personality type that exudes from your entire being. You don't have to inquire for someone to feel drawn to you for therapeutic listening.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    They knew it was a buyer's market that night with all of the girls working and just took advantage of the fact that you weren't going to abandom them 'cause the vultures swarm in. Tough luck, hopefully tonight will be better!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Senior Member grace's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    Quote Originally Posted by MojoJojo link=board=27;threadid=13798;start=msg181329#msg18 1329 date=1096134118
    Grace - it is a personality type that exudes from your entire being. You don't have to inquire for someone to feel drawn to you for therapeutic listening.
    You're probably right, Mojo -- crazy people talk to me on the bus all the time, too. What can I say? I'm a nice person. Any idea how I can turn this to my advantage? I think Scarlett is right; once a guy starts talking to you about his misery, he'll associate you with it, and just want you to go away.


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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    Any idea how I can turn this to my advantage?
    No, I do not...unless you want to become a therapist. On the flip side, I cannot tell you the level of comfort that DANCERS have had with telling me about their lives, problems and periods. Yes.......periods. I'm everybody's teddy bear.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Default Re:Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    Grace how did you react to their stories?
    that might help in giving the advice you need.
    Last Edit: September 28, 1996, 12:58:29 PM by Element Edited 156 times

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    Senior Member grace's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    Quote Originally Posted by Element link=board=27;threadid=13798;start=msg182774#msg18 2774 date=1096310996
    Grace how did you react to their stories?
    that might help in giving the advice you need.
    Nodded, smiled, nodded, frowned, made sympathetic noises, nodded, tilted head to one side...and so on.

    Any advice would be much, much appreciated.

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    Featured Member tragic-beauty's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    I think everyone has these nights... They suck and dont do wonders for ones self esteem.. but sometime you just get the weirdos that want nothing todo with you.. and im not sure yet if thats a bad thing..

    i do agree tho TRY you hardest to stay away from bad convos.

    if they start layin the baggage on you simply get up and leave.. its not your job to carry around someone elses weight.. you got enough of your own. and having a bad day like that the last thing you want to hear is someone else bitching about how bad they have it.

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    Default Re:Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    Quote Originally Posted by grace link=board=27;threadid=13798;start=msg183077#msg18 3077 date=1096337201
    Quote Originally Posted by Element link=board=27;threadid=13798;start=msg182774#msg18 2774 date=1096310996
    Grace how did you react to their stories?
    that might help in giving the advice you need.
    Nodded, smiled, nodded, frowned, made sympathetic noises, nodded, tilted head to one side...and so on.

    Any advice would be much, much appreciated.
    I have had those days and then unloaded all of my problems on a dancer they will rub my back massage my neck its very effective or rubbing my back with the palms of their hands I've always repaid them with a dance.
    Last Edit: September 28, 1996, 12:58:29 PM by Element Edited 156 times

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    Veteran Member kellyallstar's Avatar
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    Default Re:Ever felt TOO easy to talk to?

    it was obviously one of those nights and I'm sure most of us has had them. Something you can try it can be very drainning when it seems every guy you're talking too is sucking the life out of you with all their negativity, just take a time out in the back to slip back into your roll, and just go back out there and stay clear from any person that starts again. I mean you're only human how many sob stories can one handle before it starts to be depressing.
    I'm here to make money. NOT make friends, if I make a friend then it's a bonus.

    I'd rather be absolutely ridiculous that absolutely boring

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    Dude, it's not her "world" it's her job. It's not some sort of Pavlovian trance that dancers go into when they smell money, it's simply how they make a living.

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