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Thread: Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

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    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    Reading a few other threads recently....I figured we could use a nice place like this to get all the hate out and "discuss" a few things. (this is not about anyone in specific either...dont get it twisted)

    1- Why all the man hating? I mean I can understand somewhat. I can imagine if one got their heart broken or had some horrible things done to them by a certain sex that they could start to have a dislike towards them. But i just think this is a really bad generalization. Its similar to this(this is an example)...If I got mugged and beat up by an asian guy....should I go and hate all asian people? What if it happened 5 times all by asian guys? Would it be OK then? NO....there are billions of asian people...not all of them are bad. Would I be more careful the next time I was walking down a street alone and an asian guy came walking up behind me....probably...BUT I WOULD STILL WALK DOWN THE STREET. Again it was just an example not disrepect to my asian peoples
    Now back to men and women. People get hurt...that is life and that is how relationships go....man or woman...people hurt. Im sure just as many men here have been hurt by women as there are women who have been hurt by men. I know guys who have been hurt by guys....girls hurt by girls...it doesnt matter...its part of life and love...if you arent open to being hurt you arent open to anything.
    I think much of this happens and people put blame on the opposite sex b/c its an easy excuse/escape....instead of realizing that the problem might have to do with themselves.


    2- Why is it so damn hard to find someone? Are we being too picky? Does everyone judge people too harshly? Why is everyone so afraid to give people a chance? Why do I have to act a certain way or prove something for a girl to give me a chance? Do I really want this type of girl anyway? I see a lot of women here saying they cant find a man....im not buying it....WHERE ARE THESE WOMEN WHO CANT FIND A MAN? B/C Im right here and i know 20 other decent guys right here with me(i dont mean me literally...im an example). I dont get it.


    3- Why arent more people happy? Why is it so hard to see that life is not that complex and not that bad? Why dont we say hi to random people we see in the street? Why arent we all friendly, polite, and happy people?
    From a PM i sent to someone:
    What I've come to realize is that life isnt that hard....its not that complex...its not that bad....people make it that way, theres no need for it. If you're alive and you're healthy, theres no reason why anyone shouldnt be happy. Yes things happen that arent always so great...and thats normal...but for the most part life should be simple and people should be happy. Im happy 99% of the time. If you dont see me smiling...something is wrong...its very rare. And nothing that could ever happen, wether its a girl breaking my heart, my good friend passing away in a car accident, my mom having cancer, blah blah blah, etc.... is ever going to change that.
    Some people will say Im young(im not that young) and i dont know anything about life yet...so be it...i dont think thats true.


    4- Why are there so many close-minded people? And why will they never change? :'(


    5- Where do I come up with this shit?

    Some one answer my random dumb ass questions or yell at me and call me stupid or something....please

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    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    LOL Manass, I don't thing you are stupid.

    1. I don't know why there are so many "man haters" on this board either. But I can say this with 10yrs of dancing behind me. We do kinda get "jaded" after a while. So that might have a little to do with it.

    2. Dunno, I have people ask me this all the time. I found the other half of my soul when I stopped looking for it. About 3 days after to be exact, I just saw himand knew, and he will say the same about me.

    3. Everyone is taught growing up to want more, that America is the land of milk and honey, and you have to go and get what you want. Well if everyone is doing that, we are all going to step on toes. And add free will to that.....

    4. Free will, and your upbringing.

    5.That "Daniel-Son", you have to look within to find the answer on your own.

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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    Quote Originally Posted by AinNY

    2- Why is it so damn hard to find someone? Are we being too picky? Does everyone judge people too harshly? Why is everyone so afraid to give people a chance? Why do I have to act a certain way or prove something for a girl to give me a chance? Do I really want this type of girl anyway? I see a lot of women here saying they cant find a man....im not buying it....WHERE ARE THESE WOMEN WHO CANT FIND A MAN? B/C Im right here and i know 20 other decent guys right here with me(i dont mean me literally...im an example). I dont get it.
    Man, a lot of thoughts here, so I'm just going to try to tackle the one I quoted.

    Personally, I think finding that special someone is very complex and not easy at all.

    I think it starts off with someone your attracted to, and then builds as you discover whether or not you really are right for each other. I personally believe that successful couples usually need to have shared values and capatible interests.

    What I mean by this, is at the end of the day it is very important to have shared values or too many disagreements and arguements will crop up. However, its not as important to have all the same interests, (ie, like the same things, activities, etc.). In fact part of what attracts people to each other are that they see things in the other, which they would like to incorporate into themselves.

    Now even though you might find someone with shared values and compatible interests, that's only the beginning. Then there's passion, respect, trust, etc., etc. etc. You might really enjoy spending time with someone, and yet still not have a real passion for them. (Probably explains why I have several female friends, yet no "girl friend".)

    Now as far as being too harsh on each other, I almost think the opposite happens. I think people hook up too quickly before they've given themselves a chance to find out if they really are right for each other. They get swept up in the infatuation of it all, and then end up hurt when they finally realize that they don't share common values.

    Hope that makes sense.
    Last edited by verfolgung; 10-15-2004 at 12:28 PM.
    If you can't win. Make the fellow in front of you break the record.


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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    Quote Originally Posted by kitana link=board=1;threadid=13887;start=msg182627#msg182 627 date=1096299751
    LOL Manass, I don&#039;t thing you are stupid.
    Thanks...lol...but i are the dumb sometimes....see

    1. I don&#039;t know why there are so many "man haters" on this board either. But I can say this with 10yrs of dancing behind me. We do kinda get "jaded" after a while. So that might have a little to do with it.
    I can understand that.

    2. Dunno, I have people ask me this all the time. I found the other half of my soul when I stopped looking for it. About 3 days after to be exact, I just saw himand knew, and he will say the same about me.
    Thats too easy of an answer You&#039;re just lucky

    3. Everyone is taught growing up to want more, that America is the land of milk and honey, and you have to go and get what you want. Well if everyone is doing that, we are all going to step on toes. And add free will to that.....
    Stepping on toes is one thing...but that doesnt mean you cant still be happy

    4. Free will, and your upbringing.
    Whats funny is that my parents are totally closeminded....and im the total opposite. And now they are kind of pissed about it...LOL

    5.That "Daniel-Son", you have to look within to find the answer on your own.
    Thanks Mrs. Miagi

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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    OK... I think I&#039;ll take a shot at answering the questions...

    1) Women hate men because they have been treated like shit by them. You couldn&#039;t understand because you are not a woman. Men rape and victimize women. It very rarely happens the other way around. Sometimes it is just a phase one goes through after leaving a bad relationship (like me). I went thru a phase of hating men after I had been dancing for awhile and I was tired of being disrespected. Alot of men are sick, women would never act like they do in a sc. Sure, your gf may treat you like shit, but did she rape and beat you? If she did, and then you went to work and some shithead told you you needed to lose weight and get a boob job, and you heard 50 "nos" when you asked for dances, then would you hate men? If you were stalked by two different men, and almost died because someone was drugging you, raping you, and beating you, then would you hate men? If your father molested you, made you eat shit, neglected you, and beat you, then would you hate men? It&#039;s a hypothetical question, but what we go thru is so much worse than what you have been thru that you can&#039;t really understand. I don&#039;t hate all men. I just avoid the ones I know are bad news, and like the good ones.

    2) Well, I think it is extremely hard to find someone that I want a ltr with. People have problems. Alot of people have problems and issues that I don&#039;t want or need to deal with. Finding someone that is on the same page as you are, that you have alot in common with, is tough to do. Hell, finding friends is hard - real friends. Finding someone that you can relate to who you can really trust is like finding a needle in a haystack. As you get more experience, you will realize right off who to let in and who you can&#039;t trust, and who it just isn&#039;t worth wasting your time. Where to meet good men and women? I couldn&#039;t tell ya&#039;. But I do know that people find them at work. Also, getting involved in activities you like is a good way to meet people you have something in common with.

    4) Well, all people aren&#039;t like you. Some people don&#039;t care about your definition of happiness. Everyone&#039;s definition of happiness is different. Everyone&#039;s life is different. Some people have gotten themselves in situations and environments that make them unhappy. They can&#039;t or don&#039;t know how to get out of them. Alot of people have been victimized and are damaged. Your life has obviously been fairly simple and happy. Not everyone&#039;s has. We don&#039;t say "hi" to people on the streets because we don&#039;t trust them. You can&#039;t necessarily say how you would feel if something else had happened in your life, because that would make you a different person, cause different feelings, and cause you to respond differently to situations.

    4) Really depends on your definition of close-minded, and how specific you are going to get. (such as close-minded about race, religion, or what). It&#039;s an individual thing based on experience that causes people to believe as they do.




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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    Quote Originally Posted by verfolgung link=board=1;threadid=13887;start=msg182634#msg182 634 date=1096300126
    Quote Originally Posted by AinNY link=board=1;threadid=13887;start=msg182618#msg182 618 date=1096298642

    2- Why is it so damn hard to find someone? Are we being too picky? Does everyone judge people too harshly? Why is everyone so afraid to give people a chance? Why do I have to act a certain way or prove something for a girl to give me a chance? Do I really want this type of girl anyway? I see a lot of women here saying they cant find a man....im not buying it....WHERE ARE THESE WOMEN WHO CANT FIND A MAN? B/C Im right here and i know 20 other decent guys right here with me(i dont mean me literally...im an example). I dont get it.
    Man, a lot of thoughts here, so I&#039;m just going to try to tackle the one I quoted.

    ......

    Hope that makes sense.
    Yes it did...good points...i agree with a lot of that

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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    We see the worst of men.. and after time it takes a toll.. i dont know how much you would like men when you mostly have to fight of guys that are nasty fat dirty pervets trying to finger hump and grope you all over while you are just trying to make 20 bucks!


    or you get the assholes that goto clubs to be dicks and put the girls down..


    most of the time the only men i hate are at the club... unless they are being good..



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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic link=board=1;threadid=13887;start=msg182651#msg182 651 date=1096302439
    OK... I think I&#039;ll take a shot at answering the questions...

    1) Women hate men because they have been treated like shit by them. You couldn&#039;t understand because you are not a woman. Men rape and victimize women. It very rarely happens the other way around. Sometimes it is just a phase one goes through after leaving a bad relationship (like me). I went thru a phase of hating men after I had been dancing for awhile and I was tired of being disrespected. Alot of men are sick, women would never act like they do in a sc. Sure, your gf may treat you like shit, but did she rape and beat you? If she did, and then you went to work and some shithead told you you needed to lose weight and get a boob job, and you heard 50 "nos" when you asked for dances, then would you hate men? If you were stalked by two different men, and almost died because someone was drugging you, raping you, and beating you, then would you hate men? If your father molested you, made you eat shit, neglected you, and beat you, then would you hate men? It&#039;s a hypothetical question, but what we go thru is so much worse than what you have been thru that you can&#039;t really understand. I don&#039;t hate all men. I just avoid the ones I know are bad news, and like the good ones.
    I know I cannot possibly understand what some people have gone through. But it is possible for women to abuse men verbally and phyiscally....ive been the verbal situation...and I have a friend who is currently in the physical situation(though it is somewhat funny to see a 6&#039;5" 240 pound guy with a black eye from his girlfriend). Rape? no a guy probably wont really be raped by a woman....yes most women probably have it worse....but many times b/c they let it happen. Just like I let my ex treat me like that. I still am not assuming that I can understand what other people have gone through at all...i know everyone has gone through different things.

    2) Well, I think it is extremely hard to find someone that I want a ltr with. People have problems. Alot of people have problems and issues that I don&#039;t want or need to deal with. Finding someone that is on the same page as you are, that you have alot in common with, is tough to do. Hell, finding friends is hard - real friends. Finding someone that you can relate to who you can really trust is like finding a needle in a haystack. As you get more experience, you will realize right off who to let in and who you can&#039;t trust, and who it just isn&#039;t worth wasting your time. Where to meet good men and women? I couldn&#039;t tell ya&#039;. But I do know that people find them at work. Also, getting involved in activities you like is a good way to meet people you have something in common with.
    EDIT: Nevermind...i figured out what LTR is
    I agree its hard finding good people. But i think a lot of people are closing off people before they even get a chance to know them way too fast....some dont even get any sort of chance at all. Im not really complaining for myself....im in no rush to meet anyone.

    4) Well, all people aren&#039;t like you. Some people don&#039;t care about your definition of happiness. Everyone&#039;s definition of happiness is different. Everyone&#039;s life is different. Some people have gotten themselves in situations and environments that make them unhappy. They can&#039;t or don&#039;t know how to get out of them. Alot of people have been victimized and are damaged. Your life has obviously been fairly simple and happy. Not everyone&#039;s has. We don&#039;t say "hi" to people on the streets because we don&#039;t trust them. You can&#039;t necessarily say how you would feel if something else had happened in your life, because that would make you a different person, cause different feelings, and cause you to respond differently to situations.
    No my life hasnt been fairly simple or easy at all(although many people seem to think that b/c i am happy all the time)....but its hard to compare lives. So I dont really compare it to other peoples lives. We all go through our own shit....Yes, again everyone is different and has gone through different things. But I still think theres a lot of room for people to be "happier".
    What does saying hi have to do with trust? And I guess happiness is hard to define.

    4) Really depends on your definition of close-minded, and how specific you are going to get. (such as close-minded about race, religion, or what). It&#039;s an individual thing based on experience that causes people to believe as they do.
    Close minded is close minded....doesnt matter what its about...some people are more stuck on certain issues....but it is what it is.

    Good points

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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tragic-Beauty link=board=1;threadid=13887;start=msg182662#msg182 662 date=1096303292
    We see the worst of men.. and after time it takes a toll.. i dont know how much you would like men when you mostly have to fight of guys that are nasty fat dirty pervets trying to finger hump and grope you all over while you are just trying to make 20 bucks!


    or you get the assholes that goto clubs to be dicks and put the girls down..


    most of the time the only men i hate are at the club... unless they are being good..
    Got ya

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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    [quote=AinNY]
    Stepping on toes is one thing...but that doesnt mean you cant still be happy No, but at the same time you have 1 million people all going for the same thing, and only a handful can get it. That will tend to upset the ones who don&#039;t get it.

    I honestly think no one is happy all the time. I don&#039;t think we are even made to be happy all the time.

    And as for the "your lucky" response, I had to "kiss a ton of frogs", before I finally gave up and ultimatly found him.

    My 1st ex, broke my jaw, and the 2nd ex I found in bed with the 17yr old babysitter. So I fell like I have paid my dues to an extent. LOL

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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    Quote Originally Posted by kitana link=board=1;threadid=13887;start=msg182728#msg182 728 date=1096308520
    No, but at the same time you have 1 million people all going for the same thing, and only a handful can get it. That will tend to upset the ones who don&#039;t get it.

    I honestly think no one is happy all the time. I don&#039;t think we are even made to be happy all the time.
    True...we shouldnt be Happy all the time...b/c otherwise we would never really appreciate happiness. But I still think we can be happier than we are for the most part. Most people I know are NOT happy a majority of the time. I dont know.

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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    3- Why arent more people happy? Why is it so hard to see that life is not that complex and not that bad? Why dont we say hi to random people we see in the street?
    I was with you until the last sentence...lol...I agree, I wish people would just chill and realize that nothing you do or is done to you matters that much, the good OR the bad. They call it existentialism like it&#039;s a bad thing...I think it&#039;s a great thing! I don&#039;t say hi to random people on the street because I&#039;m busy and that&#039;s pointless. But if someone said hi to me I&#039;d of course respond in kind


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    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver link=board=1;threadid=13887;start=msg182788#msg182 788 date=1096312960
    I was with you until the last sentence...lol...I agree, I wish people would just chill and realize that nothing you do or is done to you matters that much, the good OR the bad. They call it existentialism like it&#039;s a bad thing...I think it&#039;s a great thing! I don&#039;t say hi to random people on the street because I&#039;m busy and that&#039;s pointless. But if someone said hi to me I&#039;d of course respond in kind

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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    Ah, the ideals of youth. Seriously, it does kinda suck that all that idealism and positivity diminishes with age. It&#039;s human nature to defend ourselves from harm, and it&#039;s difficult at best to NOT put up defenses after getting hurt. I don&#039;t think those defenses are entirely bad.

    Everything in life is something to learn from. The best we can do is pay attention and try try again.

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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    Quote Originally Posted by AinNY link=board=1;threadid=13887;start=msg182618#msg182 618 date=1096298642
    1- Why all the man hating?
    Why all the woman hating? While there may be a lopsided degree here of man-hating, other sites (even to some degree SCJ..) you&#039;ll see clear signs of misogyny. It&#039;s just that men don&#039;t usually pout or vent how much they hate women, but instead express it in terms of how much &#039;one-upmanship&#039; they can boast of pulling over on a woman to quell that need.


    Now back to men and women. People get hurt...that is life and that is how relationships go....man or woman...people hurt. Im sure just as many men here have been hurt by women as there are women who have been hurt by men.
    People are adaptive by nature. This means we try to create defense mechanisms by instinct. You put your hand on a hot poker, you get burned. You&#039;re brain immediately creates a neural pathway that &#039;hot poker = bad&#039; and you keep your mitts away from hot pokers from that day forward.

    I put my hand over an unlit candle last night to reach for some incense and I jerked my hand back, even though it wasn&#039;t lit. My pathway instincts were working well. Our brains do this for everything automatically.

    Same thing happens in relationships. We latch on to someone, we fall in love, things go bad. The brain equates "women = bad" but we reason with it, figure it&#039;s kinda shallow and there has to be someone out there better- so we do it again, and again, and again... same result. The common tie becomes the gender. It reinforces our original (yet misguided) theory.


    I know guys who have been hurt by guys....girls hurt by girls...it doesnt matter...its part of life and love...if you arent open to being hurt you arent open to anything. I think much of this happens and people put blame on the opposite sex b/c its an easy excuse/escape....instead of realizing that the problem might have to do with themselves.
    It&#039;s an easy trap to fall into. There is no sexual attraction to same-gender, so we&#039;re MUCH more selective. For a guy, some dude that is an asshole wont even get past the first 2 minutes nor ever become a friend. Now a hot chic on the otherhand... we&#039;re so taken by our hormones that we &#039;ignore&#039; the same signals given off and leap in head first (when we are young and naive..)

    There is gender prejudice in the world, and it&#039;s what causes tension with the sexes. A woman in a low-cut blouse being pulled over stands a much better chance of not getting a ticket than a man in jeans/t-shirt (given the cop isn&#039;t gay). It goes both ways. A lesser attractive guy can swagger up to a woman in a bar, introduce himself and be shot down. A gym-boy with 6-pack abs can walk up and make completely classless, obnoxious comment and they smile and ask him to sit down. Welcome to the first stage of pattern re-inforcement.


    2- Why is it so damn hard to find someone?
    Because humans are naturally shallow and don&#039;t always think with their higher brain functions. Plain and simple. Usually age and experience will adapt people to better decisions, but this takes time.. and some people become so trapped in becoming jaded that the experience time took too harsh a toll.


    Why do I have to act a certain way or prove something for a girl to give me a chance? Do I really want this type of girl anyway? I see a lot of women here saying they cant find a man....im not buying it....WHERE ARE THESE WOMEN WHO CANT FIND A MAN? B/C Im right here and i know 20 other decent guys right here with me(i dont mean me literally...im an example). I dont get it.
    If yourself and those 20 other decent guys are available, then that answers your question. You/they don&#039;t have the physical appearance or give-off what lots of women want. Sure, you probably are quite acceptable to some women- you just need to find them... and not be lazy or jealous about the effort it takes to land one (this goes for men AND women).

    I&#039;ve got one asshole friend that when we go out places, he usually comes home with 7-8 phone numbers without even trying or saying much of anything. He&#039;s a scrawny guy, wavy dark hair, cute face and wears horrible clothing (he&#039;s a GAP boy). When we go shopping at dept. stores, the women behind the counter come out and chat him up and scribble their phone numbers. When we go to food/deli places, the young girls behind the counter get all giddy and leap to help him ahead of everyone else. When we&#039;re at night clubs, he gets his arm latched the moment we walk in the door and dragged to a table of girls he doesn&#039;t know. At restaurants, the waitress will usually sit down at our table, chat with him and hand her phone number over. He doesnt have a girlfriend, nor never will with this kind of attention. When he was injured, he just pulled random girl phone number (whom he hasnt called in 2 months) and she&#039;s at his door in 15 minutes to bath him, cook for him, give him head... then get kicked to the curb, never to hear from him for another 2-3 weeks. She probably spent those two weeks on forums or on the phone with her girlfriends (or man-friends) explaining what an asshole he is, then leap to him whenever the phone rings. When he&#039;s bored on a Sat night, he just picks another- and bam, she&#039;s at his door in a matter of minutes.. they screw and she gets the curb in the morning as well. Just in the past 8 months, this one dude has already put a foul taste for men in the mouth&#039;s of about 40+ women (rhetorically speaking). Did I mention he has multiple kids, whereabouts unknown and doesn&#039;t pay a dime in child support. He&#039;s cute enough to not need a condom. :

    There are women that do the same thing. They&#039;ve won the genetics lottery in such a way that they can cruise through life at the expense of others.

    Yourself and your 20 friends don&#039;t have the &#039;stuff&#039; this guy has. Hell, neither do I... but it just means the numbers game is higher. While looking for someone, he&#039;s like 1 for 0. My roommate- he&#039;s about 1 for 12. I&#039;m more like 1 for 30 LOL. I&#039;ve gotta get shot down 29 times before I can find one that sparks returned interest. Women are the same way- some women have to get used to sitting in the bar alone without being approached while 30-40 dudes walk right by them... while they see their other female friends get picked off in seconds. It&#039;s all a numbers game based on what you&#039;ve been given to work with. Plain and simple.

    The one&#039;s complaining "There are no nice men!" or "There are no nice women!" are spending their time trying to get an elbow into that man or woman from the above example, or just too disillusioned with rejection to put in the time and effort that goes along with their person. That&#039;s the way I see it.


    3- Why arent more people happy? Why is it so hard to see that life is not that complex and not that bad? Why dont we say hi to random people we see in the street? Why arent we all friendly, polite, and happy people?
    Usually it&#039;s issues. Everyone has demons to fight and skeletons in their closet. Just some people enjoy keeping them there and slowly feeding off them, rather than just feeling them all at once and getting rid of them.

    Some people are happy just being miserable. Something in their past or present has made them feel this is all they are worthy of, and they aren&#039;t willing to change... yet.


    Some people will say Im young(im not that young) and i dont know anything about life yet...so be it...i dont think thats true.
    If you know what works for you (and it IS indeed working for you), then that&#039;s all you ever need to know. Fuck anyone that feels otherwise.


    4- Why are there so many close-minded people? And why will they never change? :&#039;(
    It takes all kinds to make a society. If it weren&#039;t for the dark, self-loathing individuals, we wouldn&#039;t have sappy Hollywood dramas, many forms of poetry, harder core music or the like. Everyone has a place in this world, and we get to decide which people we want in our lives.

    Just my $0.02
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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  17. #16
    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=13887;start=msg182821#msg182 821 date=1096316673
    I know guys who have been hurt by guys....girls hurt by girls...it doesnt matter...its part of life and love...if you arent open to being hurt you arent open to anything. I think much of this happens and people put blame on the opposite sex b/c its an easy excuse/escape....instead of realizing that the problem might have to do with themselves.
    It&#039;s an easy trap to fall into. There is no sexual attraction to same-gender, so we&#039;re MUCH more selective. For a guy, some dude that is an asshole wont even get past the first 2 minutes nor ever become a friend. Now a hot chic on the otherhand... we&#039;re so taken by our hormones that we &#039;ignore&#039; the same signals given off and leap in head first (when we are young and naive..)
    Ummm....i was refering to guys that are into guys and girls that are into girls...

    Good points all around though

  18. #17
    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    It&#039;s much more acceptable to publically engage in embittered misandry in our society, generally speaking; lends itself well to the victim-mentality to which so many people default. This board is not infrequently reflective of that, but that atmosphere is amplified by the occupational hazards associated with the job, so I give dancers/sex workers a lot more lattitude in this area than I otherwise would.

    Yourself and your 20 friends don&#039;t have the &#039;stuff&#039; this guy has. Hell, neither do I... but it just means the numbers game is higher. While looking for someone, he&#039;s like 1 for 0. My roommate- he&#039;s about 1 for 12. I&#039;m more like 1 for 30 LOL. I&#039;ve gotta get shot down 29 times before I can find one that sparks returned interest. Women are the same way- some women have to get used to sitting in the bar alone without being approached while 30-40 dudes walk right by them... while they see their other female friends get picked off in seconds. It&#039;s all a numbers game based on what you&#039;ve been given to work with. Plain and simple.
    Truth in there. To be accepted more often, you have to be rejected even more often. It&#039;s just how it is, at least for those of us not born beautiful with that intangible quality that draws people to oneself.

    Got kicked in the balls myself this week by a promising fellow student that I thought was a lock...pick yourself up and continue forward.

    Two cents.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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  20. #18
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    As far as being happy, I am as much as possible in my sitauation. Not working, being the sole support of a family member, it&#039;s hard. Could always be worse, I know. Right now my focus is on those two main things, with little left for other stuff.
    There will always be the "haters" men-women-political, whatever. Hopefully, I&#039;m part of the solution, not the problem & am not one of &#039;em.
    As far as why it&#039;s so difficult to meet someone, take your pick. I&#039;ve been stalked, etc, blah blah, it&#039;s not easy for me to trust anyone, as a friend, potential friend, relationship, etc. Obviously, something in me is attracting all the wrong types, so I need to work on myself. Things are way different today, as I&#039;m sure you all know.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    I think it&#039;s all a matter of choice. Your life is exactly as you choose it to be. No more and no less. If you are feeling miserable, you are feeling that way by choice...if you are feeling wonderful and free...you are feeling that way by choice.

    Some people choose pain for experience and some people choose happiness. It&#039;s all choice.

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    I only hate the bad ones, the ones who dicked me over big time. And I have gotten played really really bad in the past. I&#039;m surprised with the shit that has happened to me.... really, I don&#039;t hate men. I do however, am scared of trusting them again. Not saying i&#039;m not gonna trust the next good thing that happens though, it&#039;ll take a while for him to earn it. And that is one of the biggest lessons i&#039;ve learned from my past....TAKE THINGS SLOOOOOOOOOOW!!!

    Hugs to you GOOD men out there, no hate.

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    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess link=board=1;threadid=13887;start=msg183092#msg183 092 date=1096338125
    I think it&#039;s all a matter of choice. Your life is exactly as you choose it to be. No more and no less. If you are feeling miserable, you are feeling that way by choice...if you are feeling wonderful and free...you are feeling that way by choice.

    Some people choose pain for experience and some people choose happiness. It&#039;s all choice.

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    Senior Member NurseBettie13's Avatar
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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    It&#039;s so easy to become bitter and hate people just because you some across bad people and bad situations. While we can&#039;t be happy all the time I would rather chose to look on the bright side and to appreciate my life while I still can. It may sound sappy but I&#039;d rather be the optimistic sap who lives her life with no regrets than the old bitter lady who is all alone because she has alienated everyone in her life for fear of being hurt. Don&#039;t be afraid to take new paths in life. Just always listen to your gut instincts and learn from your mistakes by not repeating them over and over. And as far as love goes I think it is just not an easy thing to find. If love was easy to find then…. well... it wouldn&#039;t be love and wouldn&#039;t be the wonderful thing that it is. Love comes in all forms we just have to be sure our hearts are open to receive it. Okay ... I am done gushing now...LOL

    Bettie

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    whooooa.......heavy shit.......sooo many words.....

    PEACE LOVE DOPE!
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  26. #24
    Veteran Member pimpy718's Avatar
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    Default Re: Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    Why you screamin' like it's slug, it's only the hawk
    Why my buzz in L.A. ain't like it is in New York
    Why you forcin' you to be hard
    Why ain't you a thug by choice?
    Why the whole world love my voice
    Why try to tell 'em that it's the flow son
    And you know why they made the new twenties
    Cause I got all the old ones
    That's why............


    Jada was handing out the "Why" shirts on Fordham in the summer-WHY DIDN'T U BUY ONE? (LOL, j/k)
    "You love my lady lumps."



  27. #25
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Man Hating...general gender issues...random "WHY" ish...

    Quote Originally Posted by tragic-beauty
    We see the worst of men.. and after time it takes a toll.. i dont know how much you would like men when you mostly have to fight of guys that are nasty fat dirty pervets trying to finger hump and grope you all over while you are just trying to make 20 bucks!


    or you get the assholes that goto clubs to be dicks and put the girls down..


    most of the time the only men i hate are at the club... unless they are being good..
    Great answer, and fairly representative of the feeling--a well-justified one--I have run into from so many veteran dancers.

    I haven't finished reading this whole thread yet, but I will be surprised if we don't get several replies from the guys who utterly refuse to see why this is understandable. These are generally the same guys who will tell you that economic conditions dictate that you must accept extras. But hopefully, since it's here and not in CC, we will be spared...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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