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Thread: Funny Jokes

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    Default Funny Jokes

    Anyone got any good jokes ?

    Here's one I read that made me laugh:

    A nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or female?"
    After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well God is both male and female."
    This confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
    "Well," she says, "God is both black and white."
    This really confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"
    Feeling a bit out of her depth, but wanting to be consistent, the mother answers, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
    At this the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks...
    "Is Michael Jackson God?"



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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Funny Jokes

    During a raging battle, French soldiers captured a British officer. One soldier sneered and asked, "Why do you British officers wear red coats? Don't you know it's easier to see you and target you in a gun fight?" The officer replied, "We wear red coats so that the soldiers we lead will not see blood and lose heart when we are wounded."

    The Frenchman thought about this and passed the story on to his commanding officers. They were impressed and saw the logic in what the officer said. And that is why, to this very day, French officers wear brown pants in battle.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Default Re:Funny Jokes

    Hahahaha! wait that wasn't funny, disturbing yes but funny....?

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re:Funny Jokes

    Q: What happens when you give a lawyer viagra?

    A: He gets taller.

    (Told to me by a lawyer)
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re:Funny Jokes

    Similar to Destiny's, and also told to me by a lawyer:

    Yanno why lawyers always wear their neckties tight? To keep their foreskins from rolling over their heads.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Funny Jokes

    What's the difference between seeing tire marks in front of a dead raccoon and a dead lawyer?

    The tire marks in front of the raccoon are from trying to miss it...

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    Veteran Member Aleah's Avatar
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    Default Re:Funny Jokes

    What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaaay!!!

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    Veteran Member Aleah's Avatar
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    Default Re:Funny Jokes

    What is grey and yellow, grey and yellow, grey and yellow?
    An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in it's mouth.

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    Veteran Member Aleah's Avatar
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    Default Re:Funny Jokes

    The BEST JOKE EVER!!

    One morning, a little red man woke up. He put on his little red clothes, ate his little red breakfast, left his little red house, got in his little red car and drove to his new little red job out of town. On the way to work, his car broke down so he called the little red operator and asked if there was a little red hotel he could stay at. She said no, but there is a rainbow hotel down the street and you can stay in the little red room. He was off.
    That same morning, a little green man woke up. He put on his little green clothes, ate his little green breakfast, left his little green home, got in his little green car and drove to his new little green job out of town. On the way to work, his car broke down so he called this little green operator and asked for a little green hotel. She said there was a rainbow hotel and he could stay in the little green room. He was off.
    That same morning a little blue man woke up. He put on his little blue clothes, ate his little blue breakfast, left his little blue house, got in his little blue car and drove to his new little blue job out of town. On the way to work his car broke down so he called the little blue operator and asked for a little blue hotel. She said there was a rainbow hotel down the street and he could stay in the little blue room. He was off.
    That same morning a little yellow man woke up. He put on his little yellow clothes, at his little yellow breakfast, left his little yellow home and drove his little yellow car to his new little yellow job out of town. On the way to work his car broke down so he called the little yellow operator and asked for the little yellow hotel. She said there was a rainbow hotel down the street and he could stay in the little yellow room, so he was off.
    That same morning, a little purple man woke up. He put on his little purple clothes, ate his little purple breakfast, left his little purple home and drove his little purple car to his new little purple job out of town. On the way to work his car broke down so he called the little purple operator and asked if there was a little purple hotel he could stay in. She said there was a rainbow hotel down the street and he could stay in the little purple room. He was off.... I'll go ahead and wrap this up...
    The next morning, the little red man ordered room service and asked for rice crispies. The little green man asked for corn flakes. The little blue man asked for rice crispies, the little yellow man asked for rice crispies, the litte purple man also asked for rice crispies. The moral of the story is, more people prefer rice crispies than CORN FLAKES!!!! WAHAHAHAAAAA!!

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re:Funny Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=13897;start=msg182979#msg182 979 date=1096326996
    During a raging battle, French soldiers captured a British officer. One soldier sneered and asked, "Why do you British officers wear red coats? Don't you know it's easier to see you and target you in a gun fight?" The officer replied, "We wear red coats so that the soldiers we lead will not see blood and lose heart when we are wounded."

    The Frenchman thought about this and passed the story on to his commanding officers. They were impressed and saw the logic in what the officer said. And that is why, to this very day, French officers wear brown pants in battle.
    That's hilarious.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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