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Thread: The little green monster..........

  1. #1
    Senior Member brandys's Avatar
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    Default The little green monster..........

    Ok ladies , it's been a while since you heard from me so let me update. I got one of my best friends into dancing , and we have a really good relationship [ 12 yrs] The problem ? I always said this wouldn't happen to me but it did. I'm jealous. She is a beautiful girl and she's making more then me.I know its wrong to feel this way but i can't help it. She dosen't even have to work , she has a good man that supports her nicely.And here i am struggiling. I have never been a jealous person , and i feel horrible just thinking this way...... anyone else been in this spot and got some words of wisdom ? Help me get over this !

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    Member distortureddoll's Avatar
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    Default Re:The little green monster..........

    I'm not really sure I can give any advice... but I've had the opposite problem. My friend and I started stripping together and she became extremely jealous over me. I'm taller, thiner, natural big boobs, long hair, clear skin, pretty face.... and she is a little more plain in appearance, very small boobs, shorter hair, acne, etc.. I made more money than her but it wasn't because of looks, it was because I had more self confidence and was more outgoing. She would just follow me around with her arms crossed, pouting, and complain to anyone around her that I made more money. She would say the only reason I made more money is because I have bigger boobs. All night long she would complain and compare every dollar between us. Eventually she quit and I started making even more money from not having her and her negative attitude around me.

    Well, you talked your friend into working at the SC...so you should be supportive and happy for her. I guess the best advice is just to have self confidence and smile even when you are making less money. Is she making more money because of her looks or her confidence and good attitude? Maybe she is having fun at work and it shows since she isnt so dependent on the money. You are concentrated on the money so much, that maybe you just arent enjoying dancing right now and it shows to the customers? Maybe you two can sell some dances together. =)
    *yes, I'm still bruised and sore..*

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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re:The little green monster..........

    ok, anyways...

    I know what you mean...I've felt jealous of other dancers plenty. I make good money, and I save it even better, so it's not necessarily a money thing for me. But money=success=beauty in the stripping world. No matter how much we don't want to, as dancers we can't help but judge ourselves on the things that we are rewarded for.

    So, I've been trying to deal with this myself lately. My jealousy doesn't extend far- I'm never jealous of blondes with huge boobs, for example- just girls that are similar to me, that I feel competition with in terms of 'types'. My 'type' is slender, natural, brunette with a great bum and smile. And drug-free- I'm never jealous of girls who do drugs. Not to sound prudish, I just figure they are spending anything that they make more than me on the drugs, so I don't care.

    I'd suggest distancing yourslef from your friend at work, but also observing and seeing what she's doing differently. Maybe it seems like she's not working, but she's just smiling more and therefore seeming more approachable to the guys-- who knows?

    Feature costumes for sale!

  4. #4
    madmaxine
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    Default Re:The little green monster..........

    Hmm. I had this experience in the Midwest with my best pal. She made more money because she had the right look- tall, fair, .....Caucasian. I got introduced to the some of the friction between whites and Native Americans- I am Mexican but look like a tiny "Reservation Indian." The conservative customers tended to look at her as a more desirable woman in many cases.
    BUT...that wasn't the main thing. I was more unhappy about other things in my life, and didn't hold it against her. More power to her, was my attitiude. Of course, this was only for 2 weeks. Your case is different.
    Look at all the factors. Are you tired of your current club and just not motivated like before? You need to move around to make money these days. Customers as a whole are fickle and cheap. Are you doing things that keep you from looking your best (bad diet, shabby costumes, etc.)? Is there something else going on that takes energy away from succeeding at work?
    The jealousy happens. I've had those moments. But what's done is done. Don't let a job like this ruin a longtime friendship. You'll regret it. Find other ways to make up for the "lost income", or go to a new club.
    Best wishes, be strong.

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    Default Re:The little green monster..........

    brandys, are you upset that she's making more money than you or are you upset that she doesn't struggle like you?

    I've been on both ends of the spectrum and I've got no magic words to help you get over it. Honestly, I've found that sometimes it's best that friends don't work at the same club or at least work different shifts.


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    Senior Member brandys's Avatar
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    Default Re:The little green monster..........

    Saphire , probably a little bit of both. I always look my best at work and give it a 110 % too , so that isn't it. It just seems like sometimes , she throws whats she's making up in my face.
    For instance , i'll say i had a good , or ok night. but she'll be like , omg , i made x amount and x amount...........I was truly happy for her at first , but it got old really quick.
    We got into about silly crap at work earlier [she wanted to wear a the outfit of mine that i had on and i said no]. and i think it would be a good idea for us to work at different clubs too. But i work at one of the best clubs in town and i was there first , so i don't feel like i should have to go somewhere else , i think she should................. ok , that sounded childish , huh?
    i just don't know what to do.........
    ladies , WARNING ! never , ever work at club with best friends !

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    Senior Member slashingbeauty's Avatar
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    Default Re:The little green monster..........

    I am not a jealous person either, but I did have this happen to me once a long time ago. A very good friend of mine and I worked together, and she had a very, very well-paying day job. I didn't, so stripping was my only income. Well, she was willing to hang out with customers outside of work (not doing extras, just hanging out) and I'm not. (I don't feel it's wrong, I just don't do it).
    One weekend she came back from a trip out of town with this customer and a few other girls and was going on and on about how much this guy spent on them--taking them shopping, riding in limos, going out to clubs, etc. And then on top of it, he gave them each a large chunk of $$, just because. I got very upset, because here I was, struggling to pay for my rent, bills, etc., and she didn't have to struggle at all. It just seemed really, really unfair.
    I have never been so jealous of another person before, and I was actually kind of ashamed of myself for being jealous of a friend. All I could do was avoid her for awhile, and try to work different shifts for a few days until I managed to push away the green-eyed monster and continue being friends with her, because she was an awesome woman, and not someone whose friendship I was willing to lose.
    So there's my suggestion. Distance yourself from her when it comes to work (although try not to do it in your off time--she's your best friend for a reason). But I would recommend that if she asks you what's up, you tell her, because even though we girls hate to admit to other women that we are jealous, she's your best friend and she deserves to know why you're avoiding her. Also, she should know that her behavior is bothering you, and if she's really your best friend, she'll curb it.
    Good Luck!!!

    -slashingbeauty

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    Senior Member brandys's Avatar
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    Default Re:The little green monster..........

    Thanks guys , i'm feeling a little better. nice to know i'm not the only one thats been in this spot.
    xoxoxoxoxooxxoxo

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    Default Re:The little green monster..........

    Quote Originally Posted by brandys link=board=27;threadid=14040;start=msg186999#msg18 6999 date=1096877057
    For instance , i'll say i had a good , or ok night. but she'll be like , omg , i made x amount and x amount...........I was truly happy for her at first , but it got old really quick.
    Ok...first of all...in my experience...unless you SEE exactly how much money your friend is making...never take the $$ amount as exact and correct. She may feel the need to "compete" or "one up" you since she is new at your club...etc. So, don't take her word for the amount of money that she is making at face value.

    Next: Learn how to work with her without working WITH her. Be cordial and all...but, just do not socialize much. You are there to make money...not have a reunion.

    Third: Never, never, ever loan/lend/borrow clothes. Ever. If anything were to happen to an outfit/gown you liked but let someone use...it just causes more problems. If your friend is making the kind of money that she says she is, she should have no problem investing in a few more of her own stunning outfits.

    Fourth: Accept that you are feeling this way and then move on. Dwelling on it and trying to justify/rationalize/etc only makes it worse. The less attention you pay to it, the easier it will be to let go.

    Good luck!

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