I am so fucked-up sometimes. I broke my only serious rule: never date a custie. I need to vent.
2 months ago on a slow night I meet up with this customer at the club. He spends $100 and I'm tired and say I want to stop dancing. He says sit and talk and I pay you for your time. He spends another $100.
We seem to have a lot in commom. He asks me out, I say no, he comes back 1 week later, asks me out again. I say yes. We've dated twice a week since then.
Last night we finally had sex. Wine and strawberries and blah blah so we did it. So what's my problem?
Basically, I feel like He Fucked Me Like A Whore!
He was like a drill sargent: this position, that position, bend over, turn around. After a while I'm like "honey, my pussy really hurts" and he makes a little 'aww' sound like he feels bad for me and then - he KEEPS GOING. I never had such love-less sex in my life. The only remotely sensative thing he did was eat me out. There wasn't even a cuddle in there at all.
After it all, he doesn't offer for me to stay over (it's 3:30 am and I"m tipsy and its my birthday). So i'm like 'I better get out of here since its so late', and he lets me drive half hour home in the middle of the night.
Today he calls me. Says he's at the Rodeo. He wants to know what size my head is. Because he's looking at a pink cowboy hat. He wants to buy it for me. So I can wear it 'when I ride him'. I know his friend was listening when he said this.
So basically I feel like a total used up party favor. The guy is sorta nice, but he's a poser, always throwing his $$ around and trying to impress me. I don't know if I'm being too sensative about the sex. It's the first time I've been with someone in 7 months and the last guy I was in love with so I dunno.
Anyway thats about it.


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