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Thread: Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

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    Default Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    I am so fucked-up sometimes. I broke my only serious rule: never date a custie. I need to vent.

    2 months ago on a slow night I meet up with this customer at the club. He spends $100 and I'm tired and say I want to stop dancing. He says sit and talk and I pay you for your time. He spends another $100.

    We seem to have a lot in commom. He asks me out, I say no, he comes back 1 week later, asks me out again. I say yes. We've dated twice a week since then.

    Last night we finally had sex. Wine and strawberries and blah blah so we did it. So what's my problem?

    Basically, I feel like He Fucked Me Like A Whore!

    He was like a drill sargent: this position, that position, bend over, turn around. After a while I'm like "honey, my pussy really hurts" and he makes a little 'aww' sound like he feels bad for me and then - he KEEPS GOING. I never had such love-less sex in my life. The only remotely sensative thing he did was eat me out. There wasn't even a cuddle in there at all.

    After it all, he doesn't offer for me to stay over (it's 3:30 am and I"m tipsy and its my birthday). So i'm like 'I better get out of here since its so late', and he lets me drive half hour home in the middle of the night.

    Today he calls me. Says he's at the Rodeo. He wants to know what size my head is. Because he's looking at a pink cowboy hat. He wants to buy it for me. So I can wear it 'when I ride him'. I know his friend was listening when he said this.

    So basically I feel like a total used up party favor. The guy is sorta nice, but he's a poser, always throwing his $$ around and trying to impress me. I don't know if I'm being too sensative about the sex. It's the first time I've been with someone in 7 months and the last guy I was in love with so I dunno.


    Anyway thats about it.
    Last edited by Pryce; 10-12-2004 at 03:26 PM.

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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?



    **Edit** After reading it a second time, I don't see you happy with him. He is just a minute man for you at the moment. Sorry for my constructive criticism

  3. #3
    Rebuildme
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    That's a really screwed up feeling, kind of like he'll do nice things for you in a financial/gift giving way and he can fuck you how he wants. He was inconsiderate in bed which is a sign of worse things to come. He may have some idea in his head already of what he expects you to be; some stripper/whore fantasy thing he has going on, like you were supposed to walk straight out of a porno or something...........would you really be happy continuing on in the situation as long he gave you cowboy hats and shit? If you think you would be okay with that then milk him for all he is worth, but if you are looking for something genuine and healthy I doubt you will find it there.

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    tampafldancer
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    wow, SCREW HIM!! haha, what an arrogrant prick.

    REAL MEN don't treat women like that. He sounds like a user. You dont need that.

    Why don't you tell him how you feel, and say you dont want someone like that. See how he responds(that should show his true colors)

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    Veteran Member Prina's Avatar
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    He doesn't sound like BF or FB material.

  6. #6
    Glamazon
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    IMHO, if he wanted bragging rights of having bedded a stripper, he wouldn't have put up with waiting 2 months and would be long gone. Some people are just insensitive in the sack. Add alcohol to the situation and that insensitivity is magnified.

    You didn't date him this long for no reason, so maybe you should consider talking to him about this. People make mistakes. It's that or he's just an self centered, egotistical unclefucker.

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    Veteran Member shedevil4260's Avatar
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    I think you shouldn't be anything with this guy anymore. He sounds horrible enough to me! Be careful and back out slowly before he turns even more psycho!
    Lips, Hips, and Sugary Tits

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    Veteran Member MisfitBunnie's Avatar
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    Wow, what a prick! I would tell him to take his cowboy hat and get lost!!!
    "And Bill, lamenting how you never see a positive drug story on the news..."Today, a young man on acid realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration and that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and you are the imagination of yourself. Here's Tom with the weather...!"- Bill Hicks, The Greatest Comedian Ever!

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    Sounds like you landed a Sugar Daddie. Some men are just "insensitive". I had a boyfriend like that. Sex is supposed to be wild, and highly energetic and the man is supposed to be in charge...well, according to them, anyways. Some men just don't care what the woman feels like...as long as they're getting their rocks off. It wouldn't surprise me if this guy watches a ton of porn...some guys think that all woman want it like a porn star.

    Let this guy go. You may have a lot in common...but he treats you like you do not matter. You deserve better than that. He's a grown man, so there is no reason that you should have to "train him" to be a gentleman. His mommy failed at that a long time ago. Just walk away. There are so many men out there who WANT to be with you and will treat you with kindness, gentleness and respect. Leave the space open for them.

    Good luck!

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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    Thanks ladies for the support.

    Sometimes even when my common sense tells me something, I have to hear it from someone else. I dont know why, but sometimes I just need other people to weigh in and tell me I'm not crazy. Especially about sex and boyfriends: this job has morphed my perceptions about these things.

    I managed not to call him back yesterday, and I think my best move from here on is not to call him at all. Not to pick up when he calls me either. He's a write-off.

    :'(

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?


    As long as your there, take him for all he's worth!

    No, wait, pretend I didn't say that...



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    Featured Member bambiblue's Avatar
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lena link=board=27;threadid=14152;start=msg187082#msg18 7082 date=1096902147

    As long as your there, take him for all he's worth!

    No, wait, pretend I didn't say that...
    ok that's what I was thinking... but your emotional state is much more important than that.... A clean break is probably best. Hopefully you've learned from this and will make better decisions next time regarding relationships. Sometimes lonliness gets the best of people and we make dumb mistakes, but don't be too hard on yourself.

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    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    It is a bit risky, but if you want to do both him and the women in his future a big favor, you might consider telling him what the problem was when, or well after might be better, you dump him. A lot of guys, especially inexperienced ones or ones who try to take too many cues from porn, really have no idea what a woman likes in bed (not that all women even like the same thing). He is probably just a jerk who doesn't care, but he *might* be a guy who wants to please and pleasure women but is just clueless.

    -Ww
    "At this moment what more need we seek?
    As the Truth eternally reveals itself,
    This very place is the Lotus Land of Purity,
    This very body is the Body of the Buddha."
    - Zazen Wasan

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    Senior Member grace's Avatar
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    Sound like one of those power-trip guys. They seem to be drawn to strip clubs, probably for the illusion that the cutomer is in control.

    Anyway, sounds like you had a lousy time. Forget the dancer/customer dynamic for a sec -- what do you usually do when you have a lousy time with a guy? Hopefully the answer is "kick him to the curb."

    Doesn't sound like there's anything worth redeeming here. Move on.

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    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    Ugh, shes_so_blonde.. I'm so sorry this had to happen to you, and especially to ruin your birthday!

    I think Glamazon nailed it on this one. The guy is either selfish, egotistical, player prick... or a clueless, assuming ninny with a tainted history.

    Either way, I think it's obvious this guy has had a fling in the past with a stripper or two (or three.. or..).

    You can do so much better.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    Polecat, you are very good at judging a situation!

    I didn't mention in my first post, but this guy told me that he used to date a dancer. It came up when we were out for a nice dinner, and to be funny, he throws his keys on the floor and tells me that I should do the 'bend and snap' like in Legally Blonde: basically bend over to get his keys he threw on the floor so he could check out my ass.

    At that time I told him 'i dont know what kind of girls you're used to' but if he disrespected me again I wouldn't stick around. So here we are. Two weeks later. And he's joking about this stupid friggin hat and that I should ride him, and I know damn well that his buddy is listening and fuck! I am so annoyed with myself.

    To make things worse, this guy was totally using the SOP, standard operating procedure... to get with me. Talking about where we should go for christmas, he's gonna get a new SUV and a wife and kids can't be far behind.... no wonder I can't trust men. they are all so full of shit.

    Its like, bad enough that I am an object all night at work with fucktards grabbing me and god knows what else, LIKE I really want someone in my personal dating life telling me to bend over or wear something stupid when we make love or telling me to bring my bikini over to his place on the third date so we can get in the hot tub (read: bathtub!!!) 'unless you don't think you need the bikini".
    Holy christ where's my bong, this is just too much.

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    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    DTMA!

    DUMP THE MOTHERFUCKER ALREADY!

    Yes, sex is supposed to be fun, but it can be fun without being so cold and insensitive. If you fuck a woman and she says her pussy hurts, you stop.

    He's an asshole. You judged his character badly, don't make things worse by keeping him around. What's done is done.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


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    Veteran Member bloodydewdrop's Avatar
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    she's-so-blonde,

    i agree with everyone else that you should dump the guy. he's not respecting you, and does sound like an arrogant prick. i think he also might get off on contolling women, and possibly getting negative reactions from them (for example dominating/hurting you). if you decide to dump him, i'd suggest doing it confidently and without emotion. to achieve maximum satisfaction, don't let him see that he fucked with your emotions. just let him know, apathetically, that he doesn't do it for yo. this might drive him nuts!

    anyhow, good luck and take care!

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    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    Quote Originally Posted by bloodydewdrop link=board=27;threadid=14152;start=msg187314#msg18 7314 date=1096925523
    just let him know, apathetically, that he doesn't do it for yo. this might drive him nuts!
    If you want to "get even" with him, make him feel bad in return, probably the most effective way to do it is to tell him as sincerely as possible that you really enjoy his company but that you found him so unsatisfying and boring in bed that you "just want to be friends" in the future...appear to be apologetic and a little bit embarrassed if possible. If he's like most guys, nothing will make him feel worse.

    But I don't actually suggest it...could be a bad idea in several possible ways.

    -Ww
    "At this moment what more need we seek?
    As the Truth eternally reveals itself,
    This very place is the Lotus Land of Purity,
    This very body is the Body of the Buddha."
    - Zazen Wasan

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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    I don't think he wants to be your boyfriend he's just a sugar daddy ! He'll be there for a while and then dissapear ! He dosn't want a relationship with you he only wants to have sex with you and give you stuff and take you out for dinner mmmmmmm seems to me like a sugar daddy ! Don't sleep with him again he treats you like your just a whore and didn't care for you ! No guy that really like you would have continued if your pussy would hurt ! Sorry to be rude but don't let your heart and soul be damaged by some rpick that doesn't care about you and treat you like a prostitute !

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wwanderer link=board=27;threadid=14152;start=msg187317#msg18 7317 date=1096925973
    Quote Originally Posted by bloodydewdrop link=board=27;threadid=14152;start=msg187314#msg18 7314 date=1096925523
    just let him know, apathetically, that he doesn't do it for yo. this might drive him nuts!
    If you want to "get even" with him, make him feel bad in return, probably the most effective way to do it is to tell him as sincerely as possible that you really enjoy his company but that you found him so unsatisfying and boring in bed that you "just want to be friends" in the future...appear to be apologetic and a little bit embarrassed if possible. If he's like most guys, nothing will make him feel worse.

    But I don't actually suggest it...could be a bad idea in several possible ways.

    -Ww
    LOL...tell him that his...ahem...penis is just too small for your taste. This is every man's worse nightmare to hear...especially if you say it sincerely and in a way that says, "I've been wanting to tell you...but I didn't know how to say it." LOL...you can add, "Well, I guess that explains the SUV..."

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    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess link=board=27;threadid=14152;start=msg187402#msg18 7402 date=1096935542
    tell him that his...ahem...penis is just too small for your taste. This is every man's worse nightmare to hear
    You're behind the times, VG! That thought used to scare us guys to death but is no longer a problem at all. I must get a dozen emails per day about various drugs and treatments that can make my "equipment" just as big as I want.

    And if you want bigger breasts, I can forward you another dozen or so per day!

    -Ww
    "At this moment what more need we seek?
    As the Truth eternally reveals itself,
    This very place is the Lotus Land of Purity,
    This very body is the Body of the Buddha."
    - Zazen Wasan

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    What a loser. I don't think I could advise more eloquently than Nina here, so I'll just add something else.

    just let him know, apathetically, that he doesn't do it for yo. this might drive him nuts!
    Use the F-word with him and if he has half a brain, you'll be dead to him.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  24. #24
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wwanderer link=board=27;threadid=14152;start=msg187317#msg18 7317 date=1096925973
    Quote Originally Posted by bloodydewdrop link=board=27;threadid=14152;start=msg187314#msg18 7314 date=1096925523
    just let him know, apathetically, that he doesn't do it for yo. this might drive him nuts!
    If you want to "get even" with him, make him feel bad in return, probably the most effective way to do it is to tell him as sincerely as possible that you really enjoy his company but that you found him so unsatisfying and boring in bed that you "just want to be friends" in the future...appear to be apologetic and a little bit embarrassed if possible. If he's like most guys, nothing will make him feel worse.

    But I don't actually suggest it...could be a bad idea in several possible ways.

    -Ww

    YOU ROCK!!! yes, i believe this may be the best [email protected]!!!!!

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    Default Re:Customer turned BF: Am I mental or what?

    Quote Originally Posted by shes_so_blonde link=board=27;threadid=14152;start=msg187208#msg18 7208 date=1096917254
    Holy christ where's my bong, this is just too much.


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