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Thread: Does your S/O know?

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Does your S/O know?

    Fish..I mean High Roller..talking about HG nearly getting busted by her family got me thinking about the apparent need for secrecy in this hobby. Im curious if you guys are open with your junkiness LOL or have to keep it a secret. If you dont have an S/O you can chime in anyways. What about when you did have one? Was she ok with it or did she get pissed? And ladies, by all means, give us your two cents. Are we pussies for not proudly proclaiming our addiction? LOL

    Apolgizes to the board if a poll like this has already been done. Ive only been a member since May. BTW, Im voting Shed kill me if she knew LOL

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Featured Member MeganS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    I wouldn't call you a bunch of pussies for keeping it under wraps! There's a lot of women out there who just don't understand it all, and think it's degrading to us. C'mon chickie poos, is it really degrading if I choose to do this, love it, and do a damn good job at it?

    Honestly, I don't think I need to know every last detail in my husband's life, just as I choose to keep some things private! Like you guys! I'd never let him know to what extent of crazy shit I tell you guys! As long as no one's getting hurt, and the love's still there, have fun!
    "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
    Francoise Sagan

  3. #3
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    She doesn't know. If she did, she'd be terribly disappointed. She wouldn't kill me, but I'd prefer that she did.

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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    I'm single, no one to hide anything from at the moment. I've never really gone that much when I have been in a relationship, the times I did go, the SO knew. I'm thinking I need to find a SO who I can share my hobby with , I see couples at the club all the time, it looks fun, those girls are hard to find though .


  5. #5
    Veteran Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    This is interesting when compared to the is it cheating thread on SW.

    I never thought about it much before but now I am kinda leaning towards laps in secret from a S.O as cheating- especially when the person knows for sure their S.O would be hurt if they knew.

    Its not the nudity or flirting that makes me feel that way- it's the touching part. For most people touching another person's ( without S.O ok ) privates constitutes cheating - so how is it not just because its paid for???

    This isn't a pleasant conclusion for me to be coming to either as that would have made me party to alot of cheating :-/
    I am glad that I don't have a problem with going to clubs or watching my man get laps though...... I don't want to be lied to that's for damn sure!

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    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    it depends on the woman, but most of the time the answer is "suspicious, but i'm careful not to get busted". i agree with megan. i prefer to compartmentalize certain areas of my life from most women. unless, she is the open-minded type. which is pretty uncommon in most women.
    Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel. - Borat

    Alan Marciano
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    Lt. Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass and you got your head all the way up it! - from the movie "Heat".

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    Senior Member Brel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    Oh, I definitiely voted for the "Kill me if she knew" answer. Yep, my ass would be in a sling from now to doomsday. Of course, "doomsday" might very well be the day she found out. Yeah, I'd be dead...

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    Featured Member sadbuttrue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    No S/O right now and no plans in the future as yet! Of course as I said before, I probably would not do SC's if I had one, as evidenced by my "relationship" with my ex-ATF where I did not go at all except to see her at the club.

    Unless, of course, she wanted to. But I don't believe there would not be a backlash from my reactions to the girls if we did. So, the first time she said one thing about it, that would be IT!

    That's just me.

    >>>Sad<<<

    Blonde jokes are two lines long so that men can understand them.

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    Featured Member sadbuttrue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    Fact to say: Even in visiting one the SCs my ex-ATF worked at at the time we were "together" provided an interesting situation.

    My ex (Miss X) decided she wasn't feeling well and was about to leave and was coming down the stairs with another almost ATF (Miss A) from awhile back. Miss X knew she knew Miss A from somewhere, but did not realize who the other girl was. Miss X had met Miss A in competition at my other club. And I had gotten to know Miss A because of that. Anyway, Miss A, coming down the stairs saw me and did not know I was "with" Miss X yelled my name and jumped into my arms from the fourth step.

    Miss X, Miss A and I talked for a little while. Miss A and I reminded Miss X who Miss A was. Miss X had no plans to go out with me that night and wasn't feeling well, so she told me to stay there with my friend, Miss X and went home.

    Was she jealous? I dunno. She never said anything about it. But, she shouldn't have been. IT'S JUST DANCE!

    I stayed with Miss A for a few minutes, tipped her on-stage and left.

    >>>Sad<<<
    Blonde jokes are two lines long so that men can understand them.

  10. #10
    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    This is interesting when compared to the is it cheating thread on SW.
    not really. men like variety and women don't like men to have variety. it's a very old story. futhermore,i just took a look at that SW thread. they just asked a very general question. they didn't exactly delve into the type of lap dance that would get their approval. for example, one may have no problem with a one-way contact lap,but have a big problem with a two-way contact lap.

    I never thought about it much before but now I am kinda leaning towards laps in secret from a S.O as cheating- especially when the person knows for sure their S.O would be hurt if they knew.(
    i'm guessing it wouldn't be a problem for you, if you knew about it?
    Its not the nudity or flirting that makes me feel that way- it's the touching part. For most people touching another person's ( without S.O ok ) privates constitutes cheating - so how is it not just because its paid for???
    well, it looks like i guessed wrong. however,i do agree. for most people (myself excluded),a contact lap would constitute cheating. so,does that mean air dances are better for relationships ?
    This isn't a pleasant conclusion for me to be coming to either as that would have made me party to alot of cheating :-/
    I am glad that I don't have a problem with going to clubs or watching my man get laps though...... I don't want to be lied to that's for damn sure!
    oh,i get it. he can have a lap dance,but only if you can supervise the lap. gee, i wonder if given a choice, would most men: (A) not tell their S.O. anything about getting a lap dance so they can enjoy themselves or (B) prefer to have their S.O. standing over them while they recieve a lap dance like a chaperon on prom night.
    Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel. - Borat

    Alan Marciano
    : Oh, man...(to himself) Why did I get mixed up with that bitch?
    Lt. Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass and you got your head all the way up it! - from the movie "Heat".

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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    Have no SO's. Guess that's under the "other" category.



  12. #12
    Veteran Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    not really. men like variety and women don't like men to have variety. it's a very old story.

    Wow Punk- that is like the most negative description I've ever heard about the survival of the species theory !
    It's not that women don't want men to have variety- that makes it sound like women get this thrill out of denying men something they may enjoy. You make it sound sorta cruel.
    It's more a matter of women being naturaly wired ( for the purpose of survival of the species reasons ) to seek out, desire and respect loyalty- which is often equated with monogamy.

    futhermore,i just took a look at that SW thread. they just asked a very general question. they didn't exactly delve into the type of lap dance that would get their approval. for example, one may have no problem with a one-way contact lap,but have a big problem with a two-way contact lap.
    No they didn't delve thats just part of my personal spin on the subject


    so,does that mean air dances are better for relationships ?

    Forsome couples I guess- yeah. I'm sure there are plenty of women who are OK with or would be (if they ever went to an air dance place) and just might even
    enjoy
    themselves - so they might also be ok with their S.O going with and without them. But those same women might get jealous or feel betrayed with laps. I think thats probably pretty common actually.

    I
    think honestly is what's best
    for relationships.
    oh,i get it. he can have a lap dance,but only if you can supervise the lap. gee, i wonder if given a choice, would most men: (A) not tell their S.O. anything about getting a lap dance so they can enjoy themselves or (B) prefer to have their S.O. standing over them while they recieve a lap dance like a chaperon on prom night.
    Uhm... No... that's not it. Me -I am ok with him getting dances with or without me- I have/am thinking of a night out at an upscale swing club- and my man knows all of this and I know his ....comfort zone too. Its all honest.

    You'll most likely call my naive but I think if someone has to lie to their loved one to do something- then either the something isn't the right or good for them
    OR
    the partner isn't right or good for them.

    People tell me I am an idealist. [peace]

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    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    It's not that women don't want men to have variety- that makes it sound like women get this thrill out of denying men something they may enjoy. You make it sound sorta cruel.
    remind me to introduce you to my ex-wives someday.

    It's more a matter of women being naturaly wired ( for the purpose of survival of the species reasons ) to seek out, desire and respect loyalty- which is often equated with monogamy.
    sure, i don't disagree with that notion nor am i blaming women for being that way. all i'm saying is that, because of those opposing desires there's bound to be some conflict. unless, you find a woman who believes that loyality isn't necessarily equated with sexual monogamy. which is a pretty tall order.

    Forsome couples I guess- yeah. I'm sure there are plenty of women who are OK with or would be (if they ever went to an air dance place) and just might even enjoy themselves so they might also be ok with their S.O going with and without them. But those same women might get jealous or feel betrayed with laps. I think thats probably pretty common actually.
    the latter is definitely more common than the former even in the most innocuous settings. for example, most men learn to master the art of using their peripheral vision when out in public with most women. there is a good reason for that.

    Uhm... No... that's not it. Me -I am ok with him getting dances with or without me- I have/am thinking of a night out at an upscale swing club- and my man knows all of this and I know his ....comfort zone too. Its all honest.
    you're into that lifestyle? i never could quite get into that lifestyle. it's not the free for all that most people imagine it to be. in some ways, it's better than a vanilla relationship, in that it lacks the ambiguity and pretense that comes with most straight relationships. however, it's still a problem if you can't agree or compromise on the ground rules of the relationship.

    You'll most likely call my naive but I think if someone has to lie to their loved one to do something- then either the something isn't the right or good for them OR the partner isn't right or good for them. People tell me I am an idealist
    no. i wouldn't call you naive,but i think your views towards the subject is very different than most people. the odds of a guy running into a woman like you is pretty remote. he's more likely to run into a woman who prefers an everyday straight relationship. as a result, most men lie about their sc trips in order to save their collective asses and to keep that "freak train" running smoothly.
    Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel. - Borat

    Alan Marciano
    : Oh, man...(to himself) Why did I get mixed up with that bitch?
    Lt. Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass and you got your head all the way up it! - from the movie "Heat".

  14. #14
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    This is interesting when compared to the is it cheating thread on SW.
    It comes down to semantics and what one wants to believe.

    If you define "cheating" as "sex with someone else," then, no, a lap dance is not strictly cheating (assuming the normal contact lap dance, dick stays in pants, etc.).

    If you define "cheating" as "intimacy with someone else," particularly without the consent of the spouse, then, yes, a lap dance is cheating.

    If you do wish to believe that a grinding lap dance is not cheating, you can float that trial balloon in front of your S.O. and see how quickly it gets shot down.

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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    She gets mad if I don't take her.
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

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    Featured Member electric_head's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    She knows and dont care for it,but is willing to let me go.
    Don't make me spank you!

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    Veteran Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    remind me to introduce you to my ex-wives someday.
    wives huh, as in plural Punk ? Hope you take this right..... ever hear of this- " fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me"
    unless, you find a woman who believes that loyality isn't necessarily equated with sexual monogamy.
    I think thats just part of it- its about trust really- monogamy is just one way to develop and maintain anothers trust.

    you're into that lifestyle? i never could quite get into that lifestyle. it's not the free for all that most people imagine it to be. in some ways, it's better than a vanilla relationship, in that it lacks the ambiguity and pretense that comes with most straight relationships. however, it's still a problem if you can't agree or compromise on the ground rules of the relationship.
    I wouldn't say I am into that lifestyle- I am interested enough though to learn and maybe experience it a bit .

    More of an occasional taboo/thrill night on the town thing.
    Kinda like guys and stripclubs. [pimp]

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    Veteran Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    She gets mad if I don't take her.
    Now that's the way things should be [cheers]

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    Senior Member Spanky's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    Gee Rayleen, now you have my conscious going here. I'm happily married for a long time. I just started to go to SC to relax and unwind, not to cheat or develop another relationship. I do get LDs but never thought of it as cheating. No I wouldn't tell my wife about it and she certainly wouldn't like it if she knew. She wouldn't like me just going to a SC even without the LD aspect. Hell she doesn't like some movies on HBO. But we have a solid relationship with children. I love and like her - she's my best friend. So what do I do, just throw in the towel and say well if she doesn't like it then I'll do without the SC scene. Or take a hard line and throw away a 20+ year relationship by being honest and doing what I want.

    I don't like to keep things private, but I think sometimes discretion is the better decision.

    But too be honest, Rayleen, your post has me feeling guilty (damn you). :-/ I was thinking about hitting the club this week, but now I think I might cancel. Don't know whether to thank you or be pissed at you ???

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    Featured Member Lilith's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    unless, you find a woman who believes that loyality isn't necessarily equated with sexual monogamy. which is a pretty tall order.
    [wave]

    Umm, does that make me weird?

    As I've told my SO, "Your dick is your own to do with as you please, but your heart belongs to me."

    Lap dances are no more threatening to me than his favorite porno movie. I suppose I might mind two-way contact, but more because I know that most dancers don't like it and (being a dancer) I wouldn't care much for him making his dancer uncomfortable.

    He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does your S/O know?

    Umm, does that make me weird? As I've told my SO, "Your dick is your own to do with as you please, but your heart belongs to me."
    not at all. it's just an uncommon view. most women would be reluctant to give a man that much freedom.

    Lap dances are no more threatening to me than his favorite porno movie. I suppose I might mind two-way contact, but more because I know that most dancers don't like it and (being a dancer) I wouldn't care much for him making his dancer uncomfortable.
    now, that's just plain weird.
    Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel. - Borat

    Alan Marciano
    : Oh, man...(to himself) Why did I get mixed up with that bitch?
    Lt. Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass and you got your head all the way up it! - from the movie "Heat".

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