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Thread: Truth can be stranger than fiction...

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    Veteran Member Naomi_Tx's Avatar
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    Default Truth can be stranger than fiction...

    We've got the quotes and jokes, now let's share some freakish true stories. I came across many of these online, and checked to make sure they're real... they are!

    A 50-year old woman came into the ER with a complaint of mild abdominal pain. During a pelvic exam the doctor found that the lady had inserted a whole chicken piece by piece into her vagina and then safety-pinned her labia shut. Unable to have children she was hoping that the chicken would turn into a baby.



    A man in his mid-fifties did a Loraina Bobbit on himself in a drunken rage and ended up in the ER. The urologist thought that he could reattach the mans genitalia if it could be recovered and if it was in good condition. The police were dispatched to the mans house and the search was on. During the search one of the officers heard a choking sound coming from the mans poodle that was sitting in the corner. After a brief fight the officer was able to retrieve the mans jewels from the dogs mouth. After inspection of the parts by the urologist it was decided that the man would need to be taught to pee while sitting (if you know what I mean). The officer was given a commendation from his precinct for medical assistance.



    A woman with shortness of breath and who weighed approximately 500lbs was dragged into the ER on a tarp by six firemen. While trying to undress the lady an asthma inhaler fell out of one of the folds under her arm. After an X-ray showed a round mass on the left side of her chest her massive left breast was lifted to find a shiny new dime. And last but not least during a pelvic exam a TV remote control was discovered in one of the folds of her crotch. She became known as "The Human Couch".



    A doctor who spoke limited Spanish was rushed to a car in the ER parking lot to find a Spanish woman in the process of giving birth. Wanting to tell the woman to push he started yelling "Puta! Puta! Puta!" At this the grandmother started to cry and the baby's father had to be restrained. What the doctor should have been saying was "Puja!" (Push!) Instead he was saying "Whore! Whore! Whore!"



    A old man and his wife were playing with some vegetables when a cucumber became lodged in his rectum. Unable to get it out on his own he showed up at the ER for some assistance. All he was given was some pain pills and KY jelly and told to wait and he would eventually poop it out. On his way out one of the nurses yelled "Come on back this afternoon. We're having a Butt-luck supper."



    A couple hobbled into a Washington emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his around his waist, and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the man. While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's member and wrench it from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let go.


    A Cambridge man hobbled into casualty complaining of a permanent erection. He admitted to doctors that while on holiday in Cuba, he frequented many brothels, and in one he was given some erectile cream to keep him hard. He was told to use it sparingly. However, since he was having so much fun, he kept using more and more. By the time he came to casualty, all the blood vessels in his penis were swollen and his testicles had ballooned in size. Doctors could do nothing except prescribe painkillers, and told him that it would return to flaccidity in a few days. They also told him to enjoy his erection while it lasted, because it was going to be his last.


    A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a
    carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions.
    After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.


    A old female was asked why she was in the ER. She said that she and her boyfriend were having sex and the condom came off and she wasn't able to retrieve it with her fingers. I went to the bathroom and gagged myself to vomit but couldn't vomit it up either."





  2. #2
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Truth can be stranger than fiction...

    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Default Re: Truth can be stranger than fiction...

    Naomi do you work in an ER? Due to the material it probably won't make Ripley's Believe it or Not.

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    Featured Member MeganS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Truth can be stranger than fiction...

    Where the hell do you people find this stuff? Quite amusing I must say!
    "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
    Francoise Sagan

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    Default Re: Truth can be stranger than fiction...

    I used to see an ER nurse. She wanted to have sex with a single-barreled shotgun cuz she saw a DOA girl who had tried that. ER nurses scare me way more than impulsive dancers.

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    Veteran Member Naomi_Tx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Truth can be stranger than fiction...

    Naomi do you work in an ER? Due to the material it probably won't make Ripley's Believe it or Not.
    No Dreamer, I don't work in an ER. You see sweetie, this is a strip club related message board; and I, like just about every other girl who posts' here on a regular basis, am a stripper. :o Shocker!

    Just teasing ya. Actually somebody told me, forget who, about the old lady and the chicken, I didn't believe it so I did a yahoo search and got about a bunch of ER related links filled with nothing but these weird stories.

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    Featured Member Chuck149's Avatar
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    Default Re: Truth can be stranger than fiction...

    ER nurses and Strippers have the same jobs.... they both take care of some pretty sick MEN :o LMAO
    "when it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day" ~ Marty Bucella

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    Featured Member MeganS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Truth can be stranger than fiction...

    So true, so true.....
    "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
    Francoise Sagan

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    Senior Member Spanky's Avatar
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    Default Re: Truth can be stranger than fiction...

    MeganS - This has nothing to do with the topic but everytime I see your picture in the tub (and gallery) I can't help but think how beautiful you are. Just thought I'd share.

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    Veteran Member Brooklyn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Truth can be stranger than fiction...

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOW what crazy stories

  11. #11
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Truth can be stranger than fiction...

    News flash! This just in!

    This happened here locally, about a "make-up kiss" that went wrong. Can't believe that this has actually gone national.

    Hold The Tongue!

    Not exactly a "Bobbitt-cision", but it still gives you the willies. I'll think twice before sticking my tongue where the gal doesn't want it from now on.

    The boyfriend got an assault charge too, I wonder what for?
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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