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Thread: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

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    Default Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    OK, time for me to vent a little! A few weeks ago, this dancer I know, comes up to me, doesn't say hello, but just comes up to me and says "my boyfriend dumped me". Now, what am I supposed to say? Do I really care that her BF dumped her? I am there to be entertained. Not to be rude, but whatever sympathy I give, she is liable to charge me for her time!

    Now, this other dancer I have gotten to know very well, starts talking about how she started taking prozac last week. Now, do I really want to hear that? NOOOO I don't!! Why would a dancer even divulge this info to me! I mean, right away, the first thing going thru my mind is, that she is a nut!

    Now, if any dancer wants to chime in, why in God's name would a dancer tell me this shit! I am the customer, and I am paying, so if I am paying, I should be the one that bitches, moans, whines, cries etc! No??

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    Featured Member MeganS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    I agree, Money. You didn't go to a SC to hear the girls cry or whine at you. I've learned over time that any personal problems I'm having don't enter the club with me. I let the guys do the venting and I'm there to help them have a good time. Some girls just don't understand guys don't want to hear their gripes. On the other hand, certain guys I've gotten to know quite well over the years are curious about what's going on with me, and I know it's ok to divulge whatever grief I have to them.
    "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
    Francoise Sagan

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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    At this time of year especially, some of the girls maybe lonely and some of the guys may be lonely.

    It's true that if I am just into the club to have a good time I don't want to hear your problems because I have enough of my own.

    However if you are an ATF, and we've taken the time to
    have some sort of rapport, what are friends for
    if not to talk to each other?

    If we've never met before, and one minute into
    the conversation the dancer is telling me that your horse died, your dog died, you are leaving your husband and don't have the rent money and started on
    Prozac yesterday.... that is a bit overwhelming for anybody.

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    Veteran Member merely_lurking's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    Yeah Money,

    I don't mind a little of that and find it really interesting now and then, but then other times I think they should be paying me for listening to them rant on about their stupid problems.
    A fat chick is like a big, warm, comfortable pillow that you can also have sex with....

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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    It could also be this dancers way of saying "I am available, spend money on me and see what happens"
    Quote Originally Posted by Chuck
    Remember HC, "NO" only means "NO" when she says it..... LMAO

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    Veteran Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    Hmmm- I am wondering if you had inquired at some point about these girls personal lives by chance ? Ever ask if they had bf's or were in school had kids or any other personal life stuff like that ?

    If so, maybe they felt you were actually interested in them besides what kind of dances or stage shows they can offer you.
    If this happens again maybe try telling them you don't mean to be insensitive but you find it better to keep things on a professional level. It may sound a little harsh but I doubt they'll come crying to again about their problems.


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    Featured Member sadbuttrue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    I often have been one to them. Sometimes they are isolated from others and the content may actually be real. It doesn't bother me. There isn't a dancer that have known for any significant length of time where I have not known about some of "the drama" in their lives.

    But they have also been helpful to me in terms of my relationships with other dancers. I do not usually look for any kind of postulates to live life by from them (please no ladies take offense to this), but on this subject they can help quite a lot.

    >>>Sad<<<
    Blonde jokes are two lines long so that men can understand them.

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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    Ummm Rayleen, I never ask dancers about their personal lives. These are things I absolutely do NOT want to know! In fact, the one that said her bf dumped her, I have never even really had a conversation with her! Maybe she thought I would feel bad for her and I would want to go get a dance. I dont bite on shit like that! Now the girl with the prozac, we have chatted on the puter and what not. I think she just wanted someone to talk to. She can talk to me all she wants, but I dont want to hear the negative stuff!

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    Featured Member Chuck149's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    Geez Money, I always thought you were a sensitive guy LMAO

    A lady on prozac sometimes gives awsome dances especially if she doubeled up on her meds in order to make it through a night at work.

    Seriously though, I will listen to tales of woe from ladies I know and have established a little Rapport with, and I do not charge for my services
    "when it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day" ~ Marty Bucella

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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    I don't go to clubs wondering how the ladies are faring in their personal lives. They should know that we're there to have a good time [monkeydance] and they should not give us their life stories because we don't pay them nor tip them for that. Yes, there are exceptions. In my case those are the gals from SW and SCJ, but that's a different scenario.



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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    I only do sexual psychiatry. I have no problem helping pretty girls get even with boyfriends by getting into it in dances. I'll interpret sex dreams for free and help them find out what really turns them on.... But when they bring up kid, car and rent problems, I point to some distant guy in a suit and say, "You want Dave. He handles stuff like that"

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    Veteran Member Naomi_Tx's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    I don't think you're being insensitive, conversation like that is a mood killer; and why else would somebody go out to a club unless it was to have a good time.

    I don't know much about Prozac; but I did take a Xanax once and my throat was sore the next day from telling my life story all night. Oops.

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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    This is one of my biggest pet peeves......

    My best friend and I who bartend together get so mad when we can tell you a running list of certain girls bills that need to be paid..... We can give you a break down to the penny.....
    Or tell ya who just got dumped, beat up and or arrested for something stupid.....

    We hear it all night long in the hole in the wall we call home......
    No one wants to hear it, hell I work with them and guess what, I don't wanna know so why would customers want to know......
    It is truely a lack of customer service skills and just plain stupidity that causes girls to do this....
    They would rather whine bitch and cry then work for their money...... Sorry little venting because I work with alot of the stupid ones out there.....

    Licks Cyn
    There is no better buzz then busting a nut.......
    The Curve is more powerful then the sword .. Mae West

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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    Wow, that's funny...I am always the shrink for the guys. They tell me the same stories over and over again about their wives and kids. Sometimes the solutions to their problems are so obvious, but if I give them advice they never take it. They usually come back in the club and tell me the same story again.

    My life seems to be more stable than most of my customers--weird right!

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    Senior Member Brel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    If a dancer with whom I've had some lengthy talks with feels comfortable enough with me to talk about herself and what's going on with her, I don't mind letting her vent on me for a while. I mean, if you've taken the time to establish a "friendship" (of sorts), then you have to follow thru and be a friendly ear. Most of the dancers I've talked with don't usually get along real well with other dancers, and don't usually share personal stuff with them. At least that's what they tell me. So if she wants to lean on my shoulder for a bit, its OK with me. But then I'm one of those "nice" guys that the girls don't usually go for anyways.

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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    What I worrie about with a dancer telling me stuff is it real or a scam? I have lent a sholder a few times and end up spending all night with her and she gets all my money. It's not a bad thing but did I get tricked or not?
    "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    Maybe it's my demeanor (or the size of my ears?)...but I seem to hear many personal stories from dancers. Not that I really mind, as most people (including dancers) obviously feel comfortable talking about themselves. And certainly, conversation with ATFs often include personal histories and personal "of the moment" problems.

    There are limits, however. Let me relay one very unusual case where, IMHO, the conversation became way too personal way too quickly. I was in this upscale club, down in Texas land, accompanied by a beautiful lady friend. While my friend received a dance from one dancer (whom she had previously met), a young lady (perhaps 22 or 23) whom I previously had never seen gave me a nice lap dance. Immediately after the dance, she started to engage me in conversation. Which was fine (initially). I innocently asked her how long she had been dancing and working at that club. She answered that she had just returned after a six month hiatus--but then she immediately poured out the most intimate details of her struggle with cervical cancer during those six months and a description of how parts of her private anatomy were removed and expressions of her emotions about that event.

    I felt not only like a shrink, but I literally shrank lower in my chair... Then she asked to dance again. Of course, I couldn't decline, but needless to say the dance was not very stimulating.

    My lady friend was as shocked as I was! Some topics should just be left for the breakfast table.

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    Default Re: Am I a Shrink For the Dancers??

    Cancer, asthma, every known STD, abortion, depression, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, sex addiction, drug addiction - I've heard more than my share. If they're my type and don't ask for money, I don't mind listening.

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