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Thread: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

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    Default FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    As the flock flies overhead in the missing man formation to signify the loss of FBR, Fishnet cues the bugler to play taps.

    Chuck149: Fish, why did you call us all here?

    Fishnet: It’s FBR Chuck. He’s RIL again! His girl didn’t return one message and he went off the deep end.

    Chuck149: Damn!I did my best to save him. I even sent him a quote from one of his posts a couple months back. In it, he said he would never fall in love with a stripper again.

    Fishnet: I know but it was hopeless. Those privates really got to him!

    Chuck149: No shit!!! Those girls don’t fight fair!!!

    Fishnet: Tell me about it!! Us older guys don’t have a chance against ‘em. The boobs in the face, the grinding, the sweet nothings whispered in our ears, the massages, the phone calls just to say “Hi.” And we won’t even mention the extras. Any good regular can have you RIL in no time!

    Coolshot: Now you guys know why I like variety in moderation. No complications. No drama!

    EvilCyn: I’ll just have to spank FBR again. He wears that RIL title like a badge of courage!

    Amber76: This really is sad! FBR was in recovery for 9 months. After only 3 months of clubbing, he’s RIL again. Will he be okay?

    Fish: It’s too early to tell… It’s still an ongoing thing. He’s in competition with 3 other guys but I think he will come out on top. He's got deeper pockets. LOL.

    Amber76: Well… if she dumps him, I’ll be happy to cheer him up. Hehe. He’ll have to come to RI though.

    DoctorCatfish: Don't worry Amber! It’s nothing 4 days in Vegas wouldn’t cure. Olympic Gardens, Sapphire, Cheetah’s and Spearmint Rhino. It will make a new man out of him in no time!!!

    Richard Head: You can say that again Doc!!! I’m going back next weekend. I return home 5 years younger after every trip. LOL.

    EH: I just wish I could go often enough to have a regular.

    Lestat: I’m still just looking for an ATF. Some guys have all the luck.

    Sad: RIL? Been there. Done that. Doing it again. LOL. She bakes me cookies. How could I not love her?

    Taps ends. The flock makes one more pass minus FBR.

    Fishnet: Godspeed FBR. May you always fly under the Mrs.’ Radar and pull out before it is too late. Looks like this one has a lock on you. If you hit the brakes, she'll fly right by!!!

    ROTFLMAO!!!


    My apologies to those new to the board. You will just have to read all the way back to April to understand. LOL.
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    [rotflmao]
    Great story fish, I couldn't stop laughing.

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    Featured Member sadbuttrue's Avatar
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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    This makes particularly good reading when you wake up at 4 AM for no reason and look at the board again expecting to find nothing new. Great story!

    Fare thee well, FBR, Fare thee well! May your checkbook never read empty and even if it does, there's always next week....

    ~Sad~
    Blonde jokes are two lines long so that men can understand them.

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    Featured Member electric_head's Avatar
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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    Ain't that the truth
    Don't make me spank you!

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    Veteran Member merely_lurking's Avatar
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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    Maybe it's time for another 9 month hiatus FBR. I'm a little over 3 months into mine, although I've slipped up twice, I still consider myself on hiatus.
    A fat chick is like a big, warm, comfortable pillow that you can also have sex with....

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    God/dess lestat1's Avatar
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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    Fare thee well, FBR.... [bye]

    [rotflmao]
    Quote Originally Posted by _Avery_ View Post
    omg, why is it so huge?!! lol lol

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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)



    On a more serious note to FBR... we sucked you in months ago. This rag tag bunch is your support group. LOL. Some support huh? We're all rooting for you!!! [clap]
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    ...the young Jedi still has lots to learn.

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    Featured Member Chuck149's Avatar
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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    ...the young Jedi still has lots to learn.
    Yes master Yoda, he must learn to resist the temptations from the "Dark Side"
    "when it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day" ~ Marty Bucella

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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)


    Yes master Yoda, he must learn to resist the temptations from the "Dark Side"
    LOL... I had already crossed over to the "dark side." :o It was tutelage from "Lord of the Sugardaddy's" FBR himself that brought be back.
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    The sky is gray and overcast as FBR's funeral procession moves slowly down the boulevard. The clackety clack of the horse’s hooves adds an eerie solemnity to the occasion. The spoke wheels of the wagon turn slowly, almost hypnotically. As the wheels rotate, one can almost visualize the circle of FBR's Junkie existence. From newbie to RIL to abstinence to player and back to RIL again...the circle closes.

    FBR's board friends walk in step on either side of the wagon, one hand resting on the casket to support and honor their fallen comrade. Fishnet, Chuck, Sad, EH, RH, Stat, DrC, CS…many hands are touching the coffin. Fishnet and Chuck are still shaking their heads in disbelief. They spent so many hours counselling FBR to avoid this very end. You can take a horse to water but you cannot make him drink. Even M_L and Money are there..cynics to the end but willing to pay final respect to a lost SCJ soul.

    Draping the casket is a flag made from dancing attire donated by entertainers at the club. The colors and textures of the articles glow brilliantly in stark contrast to the dark wood of the casket. Miss J arranged for the collection of garments and was overwhelmed by the sheer volume she acquired. Even DJDickhead donated a particularly lovely thong he had pilfered from Miss B's locker. Miss C, a bit dim but with a heart of gold, asked if she could take the remaining articles and sew them into a nice cushion for Mrs FBR. Wisely, Miss L took her aside and convinced her it would not be a good idea.

    Following the casket is the flock, dressed in their finest black outfits. They know black was FBR's favorite color. Wailing and moaning, it’s obvious they are devastated by their loss. Bleak reality has already set in causing tears to stream down their cheeks. Gone are the large bar tabs, $20 stage tips and multiple dance sessions. Sadness and concern consume them as they wonder who the next Sugar daddy will be. Their prospects do not look good and the end of the month approaches rapidly. Amber, Cyn and Trixie try to console them but in their hearts they understand the flock’s grief. There’s only one FBR at his club and now hes gone.

    The procession turns sharply into the lane that leads up a hill to the cemetery. The casket slips in its holder and FBR's friends quickly arrest its movement and gently shift it back into place, and in this final act demonstrating once again the support they always provided for him in his darkest hours. The procession comes to a halt at the gravesite and a blanket of silence covers the gathering. A dozen yards away, a large mound of dirt lies next to a dark, forbidding hole…FBR’s final resting place. Atop the dirt hill sit three gravediggers…a motley crew who’s facial expressions show no concern for the deceased or the bereaved. One leans over and says to his friends “…I bet that’s the bastard who made us look bad at the trip rail last week. Him and his $20 tips. I can’t wait to throw dirt on his ass later…” The rest of the crew nod in agreement. Fortunately, the wind does not carry their comments to the gathering crowd.

    The coffin is removed from the wagon, carried to the graveside and gently lowered onto a stand. Fishnet offers a few opening comments and then turns the ceremony over to Amber. Although shy and a woman of few words, Amber had agreed to speak for a few minutes in honor of FBR’s brief but dazzling career as an SCJunkie. She waxes eloquently for two hours. Her talk brings laughter and tears to the audience. Amber’s passionate words go from solemn to biting to humorous and back again as she describes the excitement and potential heartbreak of a SCJ career.

    Totally spent, Amber steps aside as Chuck comes forward to say a few final words. In his mind he is thinking “..damn I just talked to FBR last week. I thought he would get through this…”. Shaking his head, he asks that any who want to may walk by the coffin to pay their final respects. The line begins to form but Fishnet and Amber hang back for a bit..preferring the end of the line so as not to be hurried. Finally, they stand in front of the coffin, talking softly about the crazy FBR posts and trip reports. Nice things to remember him by. Just as they are turning to walk away, Amber grabs Fishnets arm and stops him. “..Fish…did you hear that?..” Amber whispers. Her eyes are wide so she has his attention. She tugs him gently back towards the coffin. She presses her ear against it and says “…Fish, please listen..”. Fishnet leans towards the coffin and is stunned to hear a rythmic rapping coming from inside. “..What the fuck…?” Fishnet mutters. Seconds tick by, but then he slowly starts to smile. He looks around and sees that the crowd has left and then whispers to Amber “..stay here for a minute, sweetie. I’m going to get something out of my car to open this damn box. I think FBR is back…”
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Featured Member electric_head's Avatar
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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    What, no bagpipe? He's ALIVE
    Don't make me spank you!

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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    [rotflmao]
    Close call there FBR, I didn't think you were going to make it.

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    I get by with a little help from my friends

    FBR

    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    This could be happening anywhere in the world with a RIL, in all honesty



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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    And the cry goes out "FBR is Back! Hallelujah! , FBR is back!" The trumpets sound "Let the Lap dances begin" [monkeydance] [clap]

    "when it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day" ~ Marty Bucella

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    Featured Member sadbuttrue's Avatar
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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    And Amber and Fishnet open the box. A revived FBR's left hand presents Amber with one of the many G-strings buried inside FBR's coffin as luck for the journey into the netherworld.

    And the first words spoken were those three little words that mean so much:

    "Dance for me?"

    ~Sad~
    Blonde jokes are two lines long so that men can understand them.

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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    Fishnet pulls an ice chest full of brewskis out of the car so the party can begin hoping after this close call, FBR has learned his lesson. LOL.
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    Damn! I let the guy out, he immediately does the RIL crash and burn, then he rises from the ashes. FBR, I think we should change your name to: "The Phoenix." You have all the luck!!! LMAO!!! Trip Reports! Trip Reports! Drama included. LOL
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    LMAO Fish

    I dont know how many more times I can do this Phoenix thing...Im starting to get a little crispy around the edges :-/ LOL

    FBR

    Oh...and Im working on the belated reports. I think I owe two not counting the private
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re: FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    Quote Originally Posted by FBR link=board=1;threadid=161;start=msg3336#msg3336 date=1065946214
    LMAO Fish

    I dont know how many more times I can do this Phoenix thing...Im starting to get a little crispy around the edges :-/ LOL

    FBR
    FBR: With a new lease on life I have continued to lead a life of "extreme clubbing." LOL. I have had many good nights with Miss D and another. With my focus on Miss D, the flock is in disarray. Miss B continues to haunt me. Her dances from 2 nights ago only confirm that. What? Oh what is an RIL to do?
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

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    Veteran Member NVJosh's Avatar
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    Default Re:FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    Geez, being a RIL isn't the end of the world if its reciprocated...Go for it, FBR, tell her you offer a much better set of qualifications than BD and that she belongs with you...and if she doesn't start laughing too hard, problem solved.

    Wait...what was that about Mrs. FBR?

  23. #23
    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re:FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    Josh, unfortunately its all in my head but its fun to fantasize. And if it wasnt for Mrs FBR Im sure Id be a whole lot worse than I am. Public opinion to the contrary, the "infidelity game" I play doesnt always wear comfortably but thus far I havent been able to deny my more base instincts.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re:FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    I have 100% complete faith in FBR, I believe in his raincoater ethics more than I believe in god....

    Junkies, don't worry, your patron saint will be fine...

    FBR, you certainly have a way with words. Prose makes me soooo hot {swoon}

    Believe it or not (if you will) this is not totally tongue and cheek....

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  25. #25
    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re:FBR RIL RIP LMAO :-)

    Kat LOL thank you for the kind words. So prose makes you hot, huh? Guess I should send you the uncensored version of one of my "private" TRs..along with a towel of course LOL

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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