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Thread: conversation

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    Member badkitty's Avatar
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    Default conversation

    Hey guys. I'm fairly new to dancing (couple of months) and I was hoping you guys could help me out a little here.
    whats still sometimes freaking me out is just chatting with the customer! I mean i come up and say hello my name is lila can i sit with you blah blah ask if they've been here before if they're enjoying themselves etc. But after that i'm sometimes at a loss. Do you guys mind if i ask you want you do for a living? do you really want to be talking about ur job at a stripclub, especially with a stripper you have just met.
    Okay well to put it better i'd just love you guys to tell me, the first time you meet a stripper what are you happy to have her ask you and talk to you about, what are you uncomfortable with, whats a big no-no? What are some good questions to get you talking about what ur into.

    Thanks!
    xoxo

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: conversation

    Hey guys. I'm fairly new to dancing (couple of months) and I was hoping you guys could help me out a little here.
    whats still sometimes freaking me out is just chatting with the customer! I mean i come up and say hello my name is lila can i sit with you blah blah ask if they've been here before if they're enjoying themselves etc. But after that i'm sometimes at a loss. Do you guys mind if i ask you want you do for a living? do you really want to be talking about ur job at a stripclub, especially with a stripper you have just met.
    Okay well to put it better i'd just love you guys to tell me, the first time you meet a stripper what are you happy to have her ask you and talk to you about, what are you uncomfortable with, whats a big no-no? What are some good questions to get you talking about what ur into.

    Thanks!
    xoxo
    Remember that its merely light conversation at first. Because of that, it's not really supposed to be or expected to be deeper that 'Hey how are you" "Are you having fun" "What do you do" etc etc. You are starting a conversation with a complete stranger, so it’s not like you can say "Hi My name is Muffin, have you read any Immanuel Kant? How do you compare him to Hegel?"

    Most customers know and expect the "What do you do" sort of thing. It can be annoying to regular SC goers, but that’s not your fault. A veteran SC patron should know that it’s just a way of starting conversation. If a customer gets annoyed at anything you say to start up, it does you good, actually. He has revealed himself to be a jerk, and you know to avoid him. Personally, I don't mind any questions, except sexual ones. I understand light questions are part of the scene.

    Remember also its how you carry yourself. If you ask "So where do you live" in a bored away and stare off into space, you have lost him. If you are (or at least seem) genuinely interested in the response, it can lead to move convo, and usually a connection that makes you money.

    I echo Jason's sentiments - Good Luck

    PJ

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    Featured Member electric_head's Avatar
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    Default Re: conversation

    Hi Kitty,
    I don't mind talking about work. But I'd rather talk about music,I like to see what others likes and dislikes are. Hobbies can be a good one to.
    Don't make me spank you!

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    Default Re: conversation

    More often that not when a girl asks "what do you do for a living?" the first thing that pops up in my mind is that she is sizing me up, trying to find out how much money I make, how much she can squeeze out of me, and that will be a bit of a turn off whether that was your intent or not. If the conversation eventually leads to what kind of work I do, then I'm fine with it, but I prefer that the topic is avoided, at least initially, like the others say keep it light, weather, sports, the club, the other dancers, etc, etc.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: conversation

    I'm not the greatest of conversationalists myself, particularly with new people, and esspecially with women, so I can understand how certain dancers feel a little trepadation about approaching customers, esspecially when some customers are grabby jerks.

    I seem to have two reactions when a dancer sits down at my table and starts chattering, although I never actually say either one.

    "Can we go the back room for some dances already?" [oogle]

    "I'm fine. Please go away." [argh]

    BUT truth be told, its the gals who took a little time to introduce themselves and chat a little who ended up selling me the most dances. Each of my ATF's were very different personality wise, but they all had a mastery of approaching me and talking, and the conversation never got too deep. They knew what I was there for and vice versa.

    I liken it a lot to the conversation that any other people involved with sales make. Nothing's wrong with the usual "are you from here?" "what do you do for fun?" questions, but being original with your approach certainly helps. I really take a liking to a gal who can sell me a lap dance with the same poise and professionalism I'd expect from my stockbroker or insurance agent.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Default Re: conversation

    I love having "normal" conversation with dancers. Time is money so I always tip a bit while we're talking. Sure, I understand the game and recognize that some of the stuff may be b/s (and Ive been known to sling a little b/s myself LOL) but thats all good. Feeling like I know the entertainer a bit relaxes me and makes the upcoming laps more enjoyable.

    Kitty every guy is different and as you grow in your entertaining skills you'll start sensing when to get right down to business or invest some of your time in conversation. Good luck to you and thanks for posting!
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re: conversation

    Just don't start gathering personal information off the bat [nono] I mean, if dancers aren't supposed to relate with clients outside the club, what's the use of finding out where he lives or what he does for a living. It burns me up when dancers start asking those questions. It could very well be because of fear of raids. Even so, it's best not to and try not to be too excessive in your attentions. If the guy shows up more on a regular basis, well just maybe you could break the ice a bit more



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    Default Re: conversation

    BK, as you can see, everyone seems to have different preferences. Don't be hard on yourself for running out of things to say. A customer has to want to talk back for a conversation to take place. Some won't talk because you are not his type, they don't want to be sold or can't afford the dances.

    Personally I don't like to take up a lot of a dancer's time if I already know I won't be getting dances from her. I'd start feeling like I owed her anyway Since I've been seeing one dancer exclusively for the last year, I let them do their thing and at the first opportunity let them know I was there for some one else. After that, if they wanted to stay, I'd talk about anything they wanted but most moved on.

    From a sales perspective, knowing where they live (how close to the club) and what they do for a living are good qualifying questions. I have no objections to those questions. Obviously others do. Keep it fun and light to start. I wouldn't ask anything personal unless you felt you were connecting with the customer. Don't ask personal questions in a desperate attempt to keep a dying conversation going. Maybe the customer wants the conversation to end so you go away. At my club, other dancers can't approach you if you are already talking with another dancer.

    I like to know as much as possible about the person crawling around on my lap. If I'm interested in having someone dance for me, I will likely be asking more questions than the dancer. LOL.
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

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    Veteran Member merely_lurking's Avatar
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    Default Re: conversation

    I always talk to strippers about drugs. It seems to be a major conversation stimulus for many of them for some reason.
    A fat chick is like a big, warm, comfortable pillow that you can also have sex with....

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: conversation


    Drugs, huh?

    Do you come out and ask them what they do or just try to guess? LOL

    Speaking of drugs and conversation (and to bring this post back to topic) I was talking to a guy and he asked if I did drugs... I told him no and he refused to believe me! I don't think drugs should be a focal point of any conversation when trying to get a dance from someone, but hey, ML, if it works for you... Way to go I guess! heehee

    Luv,
    Amber
    Too often, especially at SC, other customers and an occasional dancer will feel me out on the drug thing, mostly to see if I am buying or selling. Why? Because I have long hair and tattoos. Some of them refuse to beleive when I tell them how anti-drug I am. One guy said "Dude, you dont have to lie to me, Im not a narc". I told him to fuck off.

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    Default Re: conversation

    On the contrary Amber, you were having a conversation with PJ a potential future customer and showing BK how it is done in the process. LOL.
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

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    Default Re: conversation

    Really small talk is an art, which I am less skilled at. I have known people who could blather on about anything and everything. I can't, but I am interested and can talk to many topics. People like to talk about themselves but are sometimes guarded in a SC setting. So that doesn't always work.

    But people love to give opinion and advice. Tell him you are thinking of changing your look, what would he think about you in a school girl outfit, what about these shoes, yadda yadda. Get em talkin' = get em spendin'.

    though we have heard of stupid haste in war, cleverness has never been seen associated with long delays

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: conversation

    I always talk to strippers about drugs. It seems to be a major conversation stimulus for many of them for some reason.
    You know what's scary? The fact that we've all probably met more than a few dancers where this sadly is the case.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Default Re: conversation

    Badkitty, we're just people like everybody else. Some are nice, some are assholes, some are just curious. It does take practice to be comfortable with a total stranger. The rules of conversation are the same here as it is anywhere else and you don't need to take a Dale Carnegie class to do it.
    Why don't you just ask them what brought them there for starters? If you notice something about their dress or mannerisms ask them about it."I've noticed you speak with a distinct accent, what part of the country are you from?"
    If you asked me personally I would like to know about your interests- what do you do for fun? Do you ski, rollerblade, workout in your free time? Who's your favorite musician?
    What I hate from dancers is canned talk. You know, those generic lines like ,"Do you think I'm pretty enough? (Translation: Does this mean I can get what I want out of you?) . No lady, I just called you over because I thought you were ugly.
    In short ,I don't like people who's only interest in me is how much they can make from me.

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    Senior Member Sleepy's Avatar
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    Default Re: conversation

    I don't really like being asked about my job right away either. I guess like Richard, I'm wondering if she's just sizing me up for how much money she can make off of me. I know that it's not necessarily the case, because it's just a common general question, but the idea is in the back of my head. And the fact that I hate my job doesn't help. I guess I get a similar feeeling when a new dancer asks me how frequently I come to the club. I know that she just may be trying to make conversation and trying to get to know me, but sometimes it makes me a bit uncomfortable.

    I was just wonder from the dancers point of view though, what are good or bad things for customers to ask dancers?
    Hi, my name is Sleepy and I'm powerless over strippers...

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    Default Re: conversation

    I don't like being asked what I do either....I like to keep it pretty simple...do anything exciting this weekend?..any cool vacations recently?..any good movies?...music? any of these topics will usually take you into some direction of more conversation....I am around the same age as many dancers so Its not that hard I guess.

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    Featured Member Prester_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: conversation


    As for questions you shouldn't ask upon meeting a dancer...

    How much to get you to go home with me?
    Wanna give me a free dance?
    That's all you're gonna do for my buck?
    What's you're real name?
    How many people have you slept with?
    Here are some others not to ask -

    "Who was the 24th Vice President?"
    "What do you think of Belly Button Lint?"
    "Do you shave your back or is that natural?"
    "Between Idi Amin and Pol Pot, who would you want to give a dance to?"
    "Have you ever been to Bolivia?"
    "Did you know cows have 4 stomachs?"
    "If a train is leaving Boston at 234 MPH and a train is leaving LA at 276 mph and what point would you want to leave the club and have a drink with me tonight"?


    Fellas.. stay away from these questions.. BELIEVE me

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    Default Re: conversation

    I can't believe nobody mentioned sports here - I mean, come on, we're talking to guys! I know not every guy is into sports but it sure isn't a bad place to start. Of course, this requires that you care about sports some - not hard for me since I am a big college football fan - and that it be the right time of the year.

    I don't find it too difficult to talk to guys once I've used the basic starting point questions - the innocuous ones - where are you from, do you travel a lot, what do you do for fun, have you been here before, what kind of strippers do you like , etc. Of course, my journalism training helped in the asking questions and getting people to talk departments. I think the important thing is to make them feel comfortable and to actually listen to their responses, not act like you're just killing time until you ask for a dance.

  19. #19
    Member badkitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: conversation

    wow guys thanks for all that advice.
    I am feeling much more comfortable now when approaching guys for a chat. And i could never say anything like am i pretty enough, oh dear lord thankgod i'm just not like that!

    i just know tomorrow night i'm going to pop out with that did u know cows have 4 stomachs line at the first lull in coversation. think it'll work for me?

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