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Thread: "Regulars in Love"

  1. #1
    Senior Member Sleepy's Avatar
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    Default "Regulars in Love"

    Here's an article that I think I already mentioned on the pink site, but not here. I just thought it would be good to save it here.

    http://www.ass-c.com/cf001.htm

    I read a post the other night here about a guy who went to buy flowers
    for a dancer, ask her to dinner, etc. Although this may not be a popular
    post with these guys, I just thought I would share a perspective from the
    other side of the equation, that of a bar employee. I am not trying to
    start a flamewar, just sharing. Here goes:

    A little background is in order. As a younger man (22), I worked in
    several topless bars as a bouncer while I went to college in Colorado and
    Texas. From there I worked as a bar back, then up to bartender
    eventually. I got out of the business about four years ago (I am now 31),
    so I have had an opportunity to interact directly (much to my peril) with
    several hundred dancers, their significant others, and their regulars.
    During the course of this wonderful journey, I have made a few
    observations, and will share them with you here. Although there are
    exceptions to every rule, there are some basic patterns that repeat
    themselves for all eternity.

    First, you have the RIL (Regular In Love, I am adding my own acronyms
    now). The RIL is a nice guy, probably too nice, who does not have a wife
    or girlfriend usually, and has mistaken a dancer for a suitable
    relationship target. The RIL brings flowers, buys laps to the exclusion
    of other dancers, invites her to dinner, and takes her shopping. The
    dancer may even let the RIL take her to a concert or something. However,
    the RIL will not get laid, or become a boyfriend. To the dancer, he is a
    "moneyman", a finite resource of cash and favors that will wear out
    eventually (either because the relationship does not progress for the RIL
    and he gets frustrated or another dancer catches his eye). Other dancers
    do not get _jealous_ when a moneyman gets "stolen" by another dancer,
    they get _pissed off_ because they are losing money, not because they
    care about you. When a RIL brings flowers (for example), everyone on the
    staff laughs and goes "another sucker". The dancer will pitch them when
    she goes backstage or will give them to her boyfriend. Same with cards
    and letters. The dancer will string the RIL out just as long as he keeps
    dishing money and doesn’t become too annoying, always promising they will
    go out sometime or whatever, never delivering the goods. One way to know
    you have crossed over into RIL territory is when the dancer starts
    hustling you for "car repair money" or whatever else her current con is,
    or asks you for loans. Run, do not walk to the nearest exit.

    Want to know if a dancer really likes you? She will take you home and
    bang you, usually the first night you meet her. She will buy beers for
    you when you come into the club and pursue an encounter. You will feel
    like a hunted animal, as dancers are not shy about taking what they want.
    Normally, you have to be in a local rock band or look like Mel Gibson to
    qualify for this treatment. But if you, Mr. Average-Joe-On-The-Street,
    are doing the pursuing, you’re already dead. Save yourself the time,
    money, and embarrassment. Dancers will not decide a month down the road
    you are wonderful and start dating you, they will decide 5 seconds after
    they meet you, and this is the one thing that most RIL’s can’t get
    through their heads. They think if they keep at it long enough,
    eventually they will win her over. Never happens.

    If you *really* want to score with dancers, just work at a club. For some
    retarded reason, the dancer’s consider the help their personal sextoys.
    Ask any bouncer (who doesn’t look like Quasimodo) and he will tell you he
    has banged at least half the chicks in the place. They will actually
    *fight* over the help, and the help doesn’t even have to be cute. And
    truly, I can not explain why (as bouncers have no money whatsoever and
    are usually macho jerks, myself included), other than as men, the help is
    on a different footing with the dancers than the RIL’s are. For one, they
    are "in on the joke" that the customers are sheep to be fleeced and
    discarded (it’s hard to have respect for a sukka, no?). Also, the
    bouncers know the truth about the dancers, whether they have boyfriends,
    who they have banged, etc., while the RIL’s only know the fake personas,
    and any relationship based on lies can not succeed. A dancer can be open
    and honest with the help, and honesty builds trust and affection. Strange
    but true. The good news is that clubs are always hiring, as they have a
    very transient workforce. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

    Also, many of you are overlooking TPT (The Painful Truth), which is that
    if you pursue a dancer, by some act of God you might actually CATCH HER.
    Not a good idea, let me share why….I *married* one. We worked together at
    a club, started dating, got married, had kids. Here’s the rub: they never
    get the "dancer mentality" out of their heads. For all eternity, they
    think that they can wiggle their butts and strangers will throw $100
    bills at them. Try supporting a dancer who is used to making $1500 a week
    when she isn’t cute enough to work anymore and you make $400 a week (with
    two kids). Any normal job is of no interest to them when compared with
    the dancer cashflow (trying getting them to waitress or something, woo
    woo woo). Try explaining what a budget is to someone who hasn’t even
    filed taxes in her adult life (most dancers do not exist to the IRS, most
    clubs care less about filing paperwork, and dancers that do almost never
    claim tips). Add that to the fact that most dancers are sluts, and you
    are in for a crappy life. My credit may always be fucked up, it is like
    living with a total retard. Sure, if you buy a Ferrari, you will have a
    lot of fun driving it and rubbing it with a diaper. For the first few
    months. But five years down the road, when the novelty has worn off and
    you are staring those $1000 a month payments in the face, you will be
    poor, it will be leaking oil all over your driveway, and you will be
    eating Big Macs in it and not care if the "special sauce" gets all over
    the seats. And you will wish you had got a Chevy instead, something
    reliable and inexpensive, that works hard and that you can count on. I am
    just starting to get my life financially unfucked, and that had to be
    done by tearing up all her credit cards and taking her name off all the
    checking accounts. I hand her a cash allowance every day, and no matter
    how much I give her, $2 or $200, it is unappreciated and gone by the end
    of the day. And it is never enough….nothing is good enough. I would spare
    you all this fate.

    Wanna find a suitable woman who won’t make you crazy? Try joining a club
    that has something to do with what you like to do, as that is the key to
    happiness….finding someone with common interests. Or church even (at
    least that will lessen the probability of finding your wife riding the
    mailman). Leave the strip clubs to their true purpose: to entertain us,
    not to serve as a dating service. I look at dancers like R-rated hookers:
    a little bump and grind to distract me from a crappy day. I pay for the
    priviledge of getting butt-buffed by a professional and having the added
    bonus of not having to call, interract, understand or care about their
    feelings or anything they say or do. I bring maybe $40 with me and never
    go more than a couple times a week. I never hang around specific dancers
    so that none of them get the impression I am "their" regular, and avoid
    sitting and chatting, just get laps if I feel like it and watch the
    carnage from afar. I rotate the clubs I go to so that I am not in the
    same one often enough to get labeled a "regular" or know the bouncer by
    name. I could care less who the dancers are or what they are thinking, I
    could care less what their names are…I just want to see their butts and
    forget about my problems for a few hours. Then I get up and go home.
    Since I adopted this policy, I am a lot richer and a lot happier. Dancers
    can make you nuts, and the guys who blow their paychecks on them really
    need a wakeup call. Don’t be a RIL, the bank account you save could be
    your own!

    Fusion

    Hi, my name is Sleepy and I'm powerless over strippers...

  2. #2
    Veteran Member goldclubbing's Avatar
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    Default Re:"Regulars in Love"

    Nice insightful article. Eventhough I have a career that pays well and am well into my thirties I have thought about getting a part time job at a club...mostly to see if what you said is true...not that I will, having done enough low paying work in my life. One question though...did you ever see strippers and their customers become friends?

    I am a very gaurded person being in sales and always watchful for a scam...I never frequented clubs much but did meet a dancer at one a while back who I actually sat and talked with which was different than what past experiences were...watching, getting a dance, drinking. ect. This woman sat and talked with me and my friend, she talked about herself, we had the basics in common, children and a spouse, loving to have a good time and get high, wanting to take a break from lifes realities...she wasn't about the dances and didn't even ask for one...I was surprised at her candor and it made her the most attractive girl there. So I came back. maybe I was in love, I don't know, but I wasn't looking for a relationship or a girlfriend or anything just someone to hang out with who was outside of my daily life and stresses. Since that time she and I have spent time in and out of the club and she has bought me drinks and such. I have watched her do her thing with other guys in the club, and she has many regulars, but she has said many times that she is not trying to get anything from me, and seeing how she tells me what the other regulars are giving her, or what they are looking to get from her, I like to believe she is sincere. The clubs can create a strange mindset and dancers act toward some customers the way some act toward cocaine...not realizing that that is what is happening can be frustrating, and I agree if you ask to be used you will be used, especially in that environment. I found that if you respect the game the dancers play becuase its their jobs you can begin to differentiate sincerity from scamming. My friend, when a little high, sometimes plays the game with me...knowing its a game though is what makes it fun. None of that she must really like me crap, no falling in love...just two stressed people with complicated lives who like to hang out, eventhough because of our real life lives we do so mostly in the club.
    Just some thoughts.

  3. #3
    Featured Member Moneywise's Avatar
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    Default Re:"Regulars in Love"

    Top notch article man!

    I have been a regular of one particular dancer for about 9 months. During that time I have learned more about her personal life than I probably needed to know. I’m a conversationalist and a nice guy at the core. Having been new to the game I went in wide eyed and latched on to this hottie that just pushes my buttons. It wasn’t until I found this site about 5 months ago that I began to slowly learn some of the tricks of the “other side of the game”.

    Sure, we’ve gone out and dated. We’ve had lunch and schmoozed each other afterwards in the park. I have her cell phone number and she has mine. We talk occasionally. However, the bottom line is I see her as a departure from my RL. RL is good. I get laid and have my own fun in RL but there is a devious side to me that manifests itself in the SC. The chase has driven me crazy over the past 9 months or so but this site has kept things real.

    I’m still chasing but the money and niceties have been placed on hold. I’m realizing that I can get exactly what I want when I want it by simply not succumbing to the demands, SS, manipulation, or otherwise. She considers me a true “friend”. However, I have ulterior motives and she knows it. Some of the guys on this site have succeeded in creating a monster and, unfortunately for her, the 1 G per month I was previously giving up will now only leave my pockets under my rules. I’m not stopping cold turkey. I’ll still hangout and get a lap here or there. She’s just going to have to now deal with the smarter, more refined, MW.

    Your article made me laugh and reflect. I loved it. Thanks for taking the time to put it on the board.

    MW


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    Default Re:"Regulars in Love"

    I ran across a guy a few years ago who "fell" for a stripper. He was pretty much a computer geek who had a lot of money and no social skills. She ended up moving in with him, and shorty thereafter the house was burglarized.

    Twice.

    While she was home.

    It all came to head when there was a home invasion, and he was tied up and beaten. The robbers turned out to be--surprise--the girl's brother and her actual boyfriend.

    I've known other friends who dated strippers so I know that this is the exception, not the rule.

    But really, any man who goes into a SC looking for love is an idiot. They're there to entertain us, and we pay them for it.

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