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Thread: Cutting off a dancer?

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    Default Cutting off a dancer?

    Brief rundown: I've been visiting a club lately where I have been getting at least 12-15 dances with the same girl. This has gone on for at least every other week with about 5 visits equaling about $1400 + tips.

    It may not be big to some of you, but it's a rather large sum for one girl in a short period of time imho. My question is, what would the girl think if I just totally cut off my dance routine with her? I don't want a relationship or am trying to get any further by "cutting her off". It's just that the dances have gotten tamer than they were when we first started (she's always been low mileage). There's been more conversation and more talking which is good but I don't pay for that. I pay for the grind. I feel like I have now just been downgraded to ATM which I don't mind, but if the dances aren't as great, I have to move on. Sure the girl is cute, but if I put down that money for a sensual dance, I'd like it to be worth it.

    Ladies, is this what normally happens after a period of time ? Gents, would you do the same? Or what would you suggest me doing?

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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Junkie, shes getting lazy and figures she owns you. Youre giving her way too much money bud for substandard performance.

    You could either cut her off and move on or give her a stern talking to, letting her know you expect the mileage to go up not down. If she doesnt deliver, buh bye. Im sure she will act all hurt and offended that youre not willing to pay for conversation but dont worry about it. Its a standard game they play and you just have to learn to play it better.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Junkie: It doesn't matter how much you are spending (and you spent plenty). You are the customer and you certainly have a right to be a SATIFSIED customer. Some dancers do get lazy once they feel they have you hooked.

    I've been in your position several times. I'm not a shrink, a self-help guru or a coach. If a dancer isn't giving me what I want or expect I stop doing dances. I'm not really a high-contact guy so I'm not asking for anything out of the ordinary in a contact club. The funny thing is, no girl has ever asked me why I cut back or stopped dancing with them. A few have remained friendly-we chat, I buy them drinks, I DON'T pay for their time. A few others have given me the silent treatment-wich I fully expected. One has started trouble in the club with the girls who replaced her on my dance card...

    You have to decide for yourself but I think takling to the girl is a bad idea. You will just piss her off and, frankly, I think it ruins the whole fantasy aspect of things when you have to ask the girl to do her job...just find another fav.
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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    I would just cut back the number of dances. If after one or two she isnt performing well enough for you, change pitchers. Try someone else for comparison and you might someone you find more enjoyable. Then again you may find it is the norm for this club. If that is true, try somewhere else.
    Quote Originally Posted by Chuck
    Remember HC, "NO" only means "NO" when she says it..... LMAO

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    I agree with happy, try cutting back on the number of dances. If you get a couple dances from her then move on to another girl, she may get a sudden renewal of energy during her dances during subsequent visits. Some dancers get more comfortable with a guy after a few visits and begin treating him more in a friendly manner than a hot-lusty-we-just-met manner, which may appear lazy, but is actually in its way more intimate. If she sees you suddenly spending less on her and more on other girls, she may return to the lustiness to get you back. Of course she may just drop you altogether, but so what? It's just a dance after all.

    NEVER give the girl in this situation a 'talking to', as that would only piss most girls off. And NEVER EVER tell her directly that you 'expect the mileage to go up not down', as that would have the same result but to a higher degree with most girls. Furthermore, saying that, especially if your spending is not going up comparatively, will make you look like a giant ASS, and the girl just might badmouth you as such to the other girls, making it difficult for you to get much attention at all. Yeah it's a game, but you never verbalize that fact, directly or indirectly, while the gameclock is running.

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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    I agree with Bridgette, my suggestion would be to just cut back on the dances with her and start getting dances from some of the other girls, the way I see it she'll react one of two ways, she'll realize what is at stake (i.e. your $$$) and heat things up again (competition is a beautiful thing in a strip club), or she'll cut you off and you'll be free of her and her lackluster dances.



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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Guess I dont know why Junkie would care that a dancer who's taking advantage of him gets pissed. Let her...she'll either get over it or not. And I suspect she will get over it real quick when theres money on the table.

    And puleaaaseee give me a break about her being more comfortable with him now and viewing non-dancing as intimacy yada yada. How intimate can you be with an ATM? If he wasnt stuffing her garter I could agree but shes simply being lazy and trying to scam him out of his money without doing dances.

    I think the direct approach is best. You could even view it as him doing the dancer a favor by affording her the immediate opportunity to once again earn his business without going through the silliness of giving money to other dancers in order to teach her a lession. Im assuming hes motivated to get her back on track and wants to continue doing business with her.

    Anyway, thats what I would do but you guys know more about this shit than me

    FBR

    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Thanks for the replies guys.

    FBR: The only reason I'd care is because of what some of the others here have said. It may/will cause a rift between me and the next dancers I move on to. Once that $ moves, I don't want to have problems with the next girl and dancer politics but it's inevitable.

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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Junkie you gotta do what feels right to you. Still, I wouldnt worry too much about dancers getting mad at you. As long as youre spending money you dont have a problem. I hear stories all the time about dancers taking very good care of big spenders even if they cant stand them. Conversely, when your money runs out you are toast anyway. ..I dont care how nice a guy you are (and you do seem nice). Most importantly, dont ever let anyone try and convince you that the dancers are in control. They are not. Without your money, they would be flipping burgers at Micky D's instead of working 20 hours a week making twice what the average person makes. Stay within the rules of the club but let your money empower you.

    FBR

    PS: And welcome to the board BTW
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    so, you spent around $300/per visit. now, you're feeling a little buyer's remorse, are we? well, the cure is simple enough. stop being a nice guy and cut her off at the knees with extreme prejudice (figuratively speaking ,of course ). ideally, dancers want to earn the maximum amount of money as possible while expending as little energy as possible in the shortest amount of time. she probably talks excessively and dances listlessly because she figures you're such a "nice guy" (sucker) and can take advantage. sure, she may think it's more intimate, but who cares what she think you might enjoy. you're not really paying her to think, right? and if you were interested in conversation you would have told her.

    all dancers can count. once they notice you've been in the VIP room with another dancer for x number of songs. it's not unusual for them to ask you directly or indirectly why you're buying dances from another dancer. if you already have a "plan B" in motion, just leave without any comment. OTOH, if you want to keep buying dances from this dancer. tell her why (without giving away any salient details) you're getting dances from someone else. don't worry about some dancer "badmouthing" you or getting pissed at you. dancers badmouth customers and each other on a daily basis. it's like an intramural sport for some of them. in any case, money is the most powerful persuader in a sc, not a dancer. the customer who concerns himself with DP is a customer who is easily separated from his money.
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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_punk link=board=9;threadid=1334;start=msg20326#msg20326 date=1079287164
    stop being a nice guy and cut her off at the knees with extreme prejudice (figuratively speaking ,of course ).
    I'm so glad you clarified that Mr. P!!! Especially after I just went to bat for you on that very subject. LOL. You never know when someone may take a quote out of context.

    Welcome to the board Junkie!!!! You've already gotten some great advice. I'm not sure if I can add anything else.

    For me the dancer has to get so into the dances that at least on a conscious level, I have to be convinced she is enjoying herself so much, she would be doing it without the money. LOL. If she can't do that on a consistant basis....NEXT!!!!
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

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    Featured Member Lilith's Avatar
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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Most of the people here are in the right ballpark, but going about it the wrong way. Buying dances from another dancer may (and I stress may) inspire her to giving better dances... but I honestly doubt that the quality will increase significantly. Here's why: LOTS of guys have two (or more) girls they like best. It isn't uncommon to see a "primary" ATF and the "secondary" ATF. The dancers know which they are by seeing who dances for the customer first and who gets more money.

    In short, you're still telling this gal that her position is secure. Sure, she loses a couple of dances. Big whoopie, that's what she'll be thinking; she still gets tons for no effort.

    You need to demonstrate that her position is most assuredly not secure. Do this by getting around 4 dances (maybe five or six, or even just three with a great tip) from a pleasant dancer who gives the sort of dances you want. Make sure the ATF sees you headed back to VIP (and make sure you stay long enough that she sits up and takes notice). Once you leave VIP, don't take the ATF back immediately. Make her wait for thirty minutes or so (not longer than an hour; you want her to dance for you, not think that you're totally disinterested).

    You should find that her conversation is wasting far less of your dance time, as she is now competing with the first girl for ATF status and is working to remind you that she can dance as well as talk. Even so, do not buy your normal number of dances. Cap it at no more than six dances, which even further hammers home the notion that you are displeased.

    Subsequent visits after this should be quite on par with your first experiences with this ATF. Nothing inspires the best dances a gal can give more than the double-trouble of competition and significant loss of income. Good luck.
    He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Junkie posted that he was getting 12-15 dances with this girl previously, so I still say he should cut it back to maybe 3 with her then spend the rest on another girl on the next visit. If she's got a brain in her head, she will certainly take notice. Getting knocked down from 12-15 to 3 from one visit to the next is noticeable and cause for concern. She may return to her old self on the very next visit. Get 2 dances and see. If not, stop there again, get the remaining dances from another girl and watch. On the very next visit, get another dance from her, and if, after the first, she hasn't reheated, drop her. Like Richard said, she will likely either drop you or reheat.


    FBR......my my but haven't we gotten cynical and harsh lately? Geez I would almost think I'd said something to piss you off, but I wouldn't know what that could be so..... It does matter to some degree what the dancers think of you, money or not. If you are a big enough pain in the ass or piss them off badly enough, you will have a hard time finding someone to spend your money on because they will talk and get you alienated or at least not treated as well as you'd like. It does happen, believe me. I agree that without the customers we'd all have to find another way to make the money and most of us wouldn't ever make nearly as much, but the way you express this hints to me that you may be in resentment mode. What has happened to make you this harsh lately? I have read a few of your posts with this "fuck all you damn strippers wanting to make money" attitude. Yeah we make more money than alot of people in less time, for what SEEMS like less work, but you'd better believe that if it were REALLY that easy, strippers would not still be in the minority compared to women in other fields/jobs, and we would NOT be able to make what we do as a result. Part of the reason we make that money is that it's not so easy. Now if any customer is at a point where he is beginning to resent strippers for what we make, he needs to take a long (possibly permanent) hiatus from SCs, and maybe from sex workers in general, to reassess. Remember, you guys are paying our bills, but you are still the ones coming to see us. That door swings both ways.

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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette link=board=9;threadid=1334;start=msg20390#msg20390 date=1079307857


    FBR......my my but haven't we gotten cynical and harsh lately? Geez I would almost think I'd said something to piss you off, but I wouldn't know what that could be so..... It does matter to some degree what the dancers think of you, money or not. If you are a big enough pain in the ass or piss them off badly enough, you will have a hard time finding someone to spend your money on because they will talk and get you alienated or at least not treated as well as you'd like.
    Ummm...if you spend enough money, they will seek you out regardless of what others say and take their chances.

    I too have noticed a little harsher tone in your post FBR. :o I'd stay away from that Pink Site if I were you. LOL. It seems to have you on edge. Of course that reference made by VD...oops, I mean PW would piss anyone off. Just don't fly off the handle like I did.
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    Featured Member Lilith's Avatar
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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    I'm going to respectfully put forth the notion that you owe FBR an apology, Bridgette.

    He didn't say anything that I found insulting to dancers as a whole. He was rather unsympathetic to this specific dancer... but so am I. He's totally correct in that dancers will often put up with someone they don't care for, simply to get the money, and he is also correct in that few of us would hang out with a regular if he wasn't spending money. I don't see it as harsh, I see it as pragmatic.

    FBR gets a bad rap from some girls, and I think it is totally undeserved. I am the antithesis of what FBR wants in a stripper; no privates, no breaking rules in the club and even no nudity. Yet he has always been one of my staunchest supporters. To say that he paints all strippers with the same brush or treats us badly is unfair, in my opinion, as well as untrue. He's a good guy and deserves the same respect that we ask of him.

    He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lilith link=board=9;threadid=1334;start=msg20397#msg20397 date=1079309157
    I

    FBR gets a bad rap from some girls, and I think it is totally undeserved.

    He's a good guy and deserves the same respect that we ask of him.
    Couldn't agree more Lilith with the above!

    Bridgette has been on a posting rampage today and gets a bit wordy. All she had to say is FBR is a little feistier than usual... which is true. It's not a bad thing. Just different. LOL.
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    Featured Member Lilith's Avatar
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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Ah. Yes, he's definitely a wee bit feistier than usual, but I suppose that I am used to him and thus unfazed. I retract.
    He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    B..Im not mad at you. If I came across that way I apologize. And Fish youre right as usual. I think that shit with VD set me off but there was some stuff brewing underneath anyway. If shes thinking that way about me maybe others are as well. I dont much care about the pinkies (except for a few) but I do care about the opinions of my fellow blue siters, male and female.

    Maybe Im going thru the male version of menopause I dunno. But what I do know is Ive been working too many hours, drinking too much, spending way too much on stripper related activities (almost $3K in the last two weeks or so) and still not feeling fullfilled. Mrs FBR is none too happy with me and I had a couple emails exchanges with Miss D today which didnt help either. But thats another story.

    Back in the early 60&#039;s there was this cigarette commercial (note to the youngsters, yes, they actually used to advertise ciggies on TV back then). I dont remember the brand...maybe Camel or Pall Mall. Anyway, I remember the voice over theme of the commercial. It was a very manly voice saying "Are you smoking more now but enjoying it less? Switch to <insert brand name> for real smoking enjoyment" Thats kind of the way I feel right now. And I dont think switching brands figuratively speaking will help. Maybe a hiatus is in order. We shall see.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Lil, thank your for the kind words. You too Fishmeister bud. Im good with Bridgette though so dont worry.

    Youre right and wrong at the same time if that makes sense. I know you dont do privates or break the rules etc. But you know what? If I visited you at your club Id still spend a shit load of money on you because I like you, not because youre willing to meet me outside the club for sex. I think thats the part some people dont understand about me. My idea of fun runs the full gammut of activities and I try to provide as much enjoyment as I receive. The flockettes understand this...thats why I always have a half dozen strippers sitting at my table most of whom dont receive more than a couple drinks and maybe a Jackson for their time.

    Damn, I am in a wierd mood arent I LOL

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette link=board=9;threadid=1334;start=msg20316#msg20316 date=1079281108
    NEVER give the girl in this situation a &#039;talking to&#039;, as that would only piss most girls off. And NEVER EVER tell her directly that you &#039;expect the mileage to go up not down&#039;, as that would have the same result but to a higher degree with most girls. Furthermore, saying that, especially if your spending is not going up comparatively, will make you look like a giant ASS, and the girl just might badmouth you as such to the other girls, making it difficult for you to get much attention at all. Yeah it&#039;s a game, but you never verbalize that fact, directly or indirectly, while the gameclock is running.
    I always talk to a dancer. Most of them are willing to negotiate what you BOTH like. My normal limit is six dances in a 4/break/2 sequence. If you&#039;re offering the right kind of stimulation, the mileage keeps going up for the same number of songs.... If I walk into a club with 20 dancers, I&#039;d rather work with the one I want than go outside my preference zone. The only competition you need to create is with a pretty girl she&#039;s never seen in another club.

    All the players know it&#039;s a game, so have fun with it. Tell the dancer, "I like you a lot. I care about your reputation in the club." Then show her how to use her hair and body to screen whatever she wants to do. Girl&#039;s want to have fun with guys they perceive as their friends.

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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by FBR link=board=9;threadid=1334;start=msg20408#msg20408 date=1079310657
    I think that shit with VD set me off but there was some stuff brewing underneath anyway. If shes thinking that way about me maybe others are as well. I dont much care about the pinkies (except for a few) but I do care about the opinions of my fellow blue siters, male and female.
    i might be off base, but i don&#039;t see you as being cynical or harsh. you may have had an epiphany of sort. VD may have unintentionally done everyone on this board a favor. lately, it seems the guys around here are not so concerned about being "nice guys" anymore. i consider that a good sign.

    Quote Originally Posted by FBR link=board=9;threadid=1334;start=msg20408#msg20408 date=1079310657
    Maybe Im going thru the male version of menopause I dunno. But what I do know is Ive been working too many hours, drinking too much, spending way too much on stripper related activities (almost $3K in the last two weeks or so) and still not feeling fullfilled. Mrs FBR is none too happy with me and I had a couple emails exchanges with Miss D today which didnt help either. But thats another story.
    perhaps, you should consider a change in careers. i always envisioned you as a something we should all hope to become one day. a PDOM: Professional Dirty Old Man. the type of guy who sits in the back of the club with a lubricated thumb and a huge tip roll. he always seems to know all the pretty young and nasty dancers. his harmless appearance lulls the new pretty young dancers into sense of complacency. once he gets them into the VIP room and they realize, that under his oversized soccer shorts (no underwear) lies a viagra induced hard-on, it&#039;s alrealy too late.
    Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel. - Borat

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    Lt. Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass and you got your head all the way up it! - from the movie "Heat".

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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_punk link=board=9;threadid=1334;start=msg20415#msg20415 date=1079315621
    Quote Originally Posted by FBR link=board=9;threadid=1334;start=msg20408#msg20408 date=1079310657
    I think that shit with VD set me off but there was some stuff brewing underneath anyway. If shes thinking that way about me maybe others are as well. I dont much care about the pinkies (except for a few) but I do care about the opinions of my fellow blue siters, male and female.
    i might be off base, but i don&#039;t see you as being cynical or harsh. you may have had an epiphany of sort. VD may have unintentionally done everyone on this board a favor. lately, it seems the guys around here are not so concerned about being "nice guys" anymore. i consider that a good sign.
    Mr_P. That was kinda sorta my point when I started "The Pink Site" thread. You "raincoaters" may slap some sense into the SFBs and RILs yet. I for one see light at the end of the tunnel. :o LOL.

    I luuvvv this board!

    Oh and I guess since you used VD, you are not going with the more PC, PW (Plain Woofer LOL.)
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Junkie, you said you got what? 12-15 dances from this girl? I have a question, did you and the girl do all of these dances at one time or were they spread out over the night? I only ask because if you&#039;re getting them all at once, then the lack of energy to her dances may just be that: a lack of energy. Lap dancing uses several muscle groups in the legs and can be quite tiring at times. I know if I tried to do 15 dances in a row, I would definitely be wiped out when I got done, hell probably way before I got done. If you HAVE been getting all of them at one time, maybe try spacing them out more. Do two or three dances with her, take a break and get a couple dances from one of the other girls. You give her a chance to regroup and get to know more of the girls in the club that way.

  24. #24
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    Good grief. And customers complain about dancers becoming cynical and harsh. ??? That door swings both ways too.

    FBR, I&#039;m glad there&#039;s no ill feelings as I certainly did not intend to create any. I was mainly just pointing out, in my &#039;wordy&#039; way, that maybe you&#039;ve gotten a bit, I dunno, stressed, lately and need a break.

    Guys I think most of you could stand to lighten up a bit.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re:Cutting off a dancer?

    While this is somewhat different than the original post...we aren&#039;t as mean and nasty as you may perceive fron the posts Bridgette.

    I&#039;ve been seeing my fav a couple times a month for 5.5 months. She has made great money in that time. Things have changed and I won&#039;t be able to see her for a while. I sent her a nice e-mail to let her know what&#039;s up and why I won&#039;t be in. I could have taken the: "It&#039;s only business stance" and just disappeared leaving her to wonder. She always treated me right and deserved better.
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

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