Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Ex's

  1. #1
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    1,717
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Ex's

    LOL...This one is for those that fit in the divorced catagory. If it was a LTR of 5 years or more, or if kids are involved, feel free to chime in.

    I'm wondering what kind of relationship if any you have with the Ex? Are you friends? Ready to kill on a moments notice? Do you bite the bullet and tough it out for the"kids?"

    Damn! I was married for 20 years and with her for 21. The end was so bad... if I ever see her again it will be too soon. The problem... I got custody of my son. She has custody of my daughter. In the past, I've set up visits with my daughter via e-mail. Those have gotten fewer. The Ex didn't request to see our son once in the last year. The one time this year she wanted to see him she gave 1 day's notice and expected me to play chauffer. I didn't even return the call. I don't even want to talk to her. I'll probably teach my son to call and make his own arrangements. (no easy feat. He has special needs) I will play chauffer for him. Not her!!! I'm not seeing my daughter anywhere near enough. I'm working on it. She will be 17 this year so I'm just a fuddy duddy anyway.

    What are things like for you guys? How does it affect you? Sad? Mr_P... I'm sure you have volumes. LOL.
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

  2. #2
    Featured Member sadbuttrue's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Mass
    Posts
    1,695
    Thanks
    184
    Thanked 49 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re:Ex's

    It's too late at night to post "War and Peace" and "The Idiot" together right now...lol. I will tomorrow.

    Appreciate seeing you in chat, Fish! I was shocked.

    >>>Sad<<<
    Blonde jokes are two lines long so that men can understand them.

  3. #3
    Newbie Connor's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:Ex's

    My ex likes to think that we&#039;re friends but truth be told, she drives me nuts if I&#039;m around her for more than a few minutes at a time. The woman is a fruit cake!

    We were young when we had gotten married, I was 19 she was 17. It lasted for 5 years and 3 kids before she decided she wanted a divorce. I wasn&#039;t thrilled about it at the time but over the years I&#039;ve come to realize that she did me a damn favor.

    This was many years ago and my kids are ok with it. The know their mom and dad are just way too different to have ever stayed together. The two oldest are 20 this year and the youngest will be 18, so they are pretty much grown now.

  4. #4
    Banned
    Joined
    May 2003
    Location
    CA.
    Posts
    929
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:Ex's

    Most of my ex&#039;s ended up on a sour note. The TV show "Extreme dating" , I&#039;m surprised there are that many people that would have their ex&#039;s appear with them let alone two of them together?

  5. #5
    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Arrr! gimme no trouble, girl! Cap'n Trumpet's the name. Now, blow it.
    Posts
    2,863
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 14 Times in 13 Posts

    Default Re:Ex's

    Quote Originally Posted by fishnet link=board=1;threadid=1344;start=msg20528#msg20528 date=1079400174
    Damn! I was married for 20 years and with her for 21.
    20 years! i can&#039;t even begin to relate to that concept.
    Quote Originally Posted by fishnet link=board=1;threadid=1344;start=msg20528#msg20528 date=1079400174
    Mr_P... I&#039;m sure you have volumes. LOL.
    here&#039;s a condensed version.

    1st marriage: first married at 18: two good months and eight months of pure hell. thankfully, no kids.

    2nd marriage: met my future second ex-wife while in grad school and married in between the completion of my studies and shortly before starting a new career. it lasted for four years. thankfully, no kids. the interesting thing about this point in my life is that my boss (who later became my mentor and a very good friend), treated me like a prick for straight 2 years until he decided that he liked me. he provided my first introduction to the hobby. he&#039;s married (for the third time) and retired. his wife had triplets not too long ago.
    admittedly, my first choice for a role model probably wouldn&#039;t have been a whoremonger . however, i learned a lot from him about business and life and i wouldn&#039;t change a thing. although, my ex never caught me cheating (our marriage broke up for other reasons entirely) during our marriage. she did give me an ultimatum of marriage counseling or divorce. i beat her to the punch by filing first . i sometimes wonder, if my mentor had not introduced me to the hobby (among other things), would i have gone to counseling? hmmmmmm


    3rd marriage: i started to hit my stride (career wise and socially) in between my second and third marriage. i was seeing civilians, escorts, strippers, etc. it was one big freak train over a period of about three years. eventually, all good things come to an end and i got burned out socially . so, i got married again, when all i really needed was a two or three week vacation. at the time, i thought that it was a sign that i had reached the point that i was ready to "settle down" and lead a "normal life".

    my future ex had a pretty good idea about the type of person she was about to marry because i told her. i know, that was a rookie move, but i was going thru a phase d:. i was her little reclamation project and we (re: mr_punk) needed to make some "lifestyle changes" and seek "professional counseling" as Oprah would say. all the extracurricular activities....gone, contact numbers and email addresses....gone, my hobby kit and phone...gone, all my gear....somewhere in the city dump. my wife loved the progress i made as well as wearing my testicles for earrings.

    after two years of marriage, i was climbing the walls out of boredom and being treated for depression . i gained weight and not the good kind, either. my physical appearance became slovenly when compared to my own meticulous standard in the past. i filed for divorce the following year. thankfully, no kids.

    the present: i lost the weight updated my wardrobe and went back to what works best for me. i&#039;m still like a kid in a candy store. i just learned not to try and eat all the different flavors in one sitting. us:
    Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel. - Borat

    Alan Marciano
    : Oh, man...(to himself) Why did I get mixed up with that bitch?
    Lt. Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass and you got your head all the way up it! - from the movie "Heat".

  6. #6
    Featured Member sadbuttrue's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Mass
    Posts
    1,695
    Thanks
    184
    Thanked 49 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re:Ex's

    My marriage, the one and only was 19 years on paper, 17 together until she left (kind of abruptly although there was fore-shadowing). There are 3 kids from the marriage, who have lived with me. (My daughter is off at school).

    The marriage was pretty good and even church-based for 11 of the years and I became rest-less about all of that. Pressures came in and things started to fracture and arguments about time,work and money and eventually endless jealousy on her part such that it was difficult for the relationship to function any more.

    But it wasn&#039;t even a matter of staying together for the kids, you just don&#039;t get divorced. That&#039;s the way we thought at the time. Things would clear up. There were still some good times to be had during the next six years, but in retrospect the problem was covered up for about three of them by the good times we had with other couples.

    Four months before she left, she made it clear she was not happy and things needed to change or she would leave. At that time, I said I would take the kids, if that happened, because one her major problems was that she could not deal with was the teenage years. We tried a couselor supplied by my company which she chose to think of as someone on "my" side. Then we tried one from the church, which she still clung to from "her" side. She had a list of things that needed to be fixed, which we tried to work on. But the underlying problems prevailed.

    So one lovely day, almost exactly 10 years ago, she called me at work and said she had left the house... So for the next two years before divorce when we were separated, there were some weak attempts and a couple of strong ones on my part to try to get it back together, but to no avail. I could have gotten her back into the house, I think, but it would not have been good. I got to keep the friends(they had moved away, though), the kids, the house, the dog: the things she did not want. And she got to keep the church, her family. (I did lose one close friend in the deal, my brother-in-law. He still would have been a friend as well, but the family ties got in the way).

    The first year after she left was just me trying to settle in to the new role. There were no friends close by and my family was 200 miles away. In the second year I was making friends at work and going to the bars. Now I could have friends of my own choosing again as before it was not the case. There was only a couple of times I went to an SC before the divorce and I didn&#039;t think anything of it because I still believed we&#039;d get back together.

    The divorce happened. We tried to come up with the most amicable of settlements: no monthly payments either way, just a settlement on the house and other stuff, but the courts stepped in and screwed me out of a few things. I was not a happy camper!

    That night, a StripClubJunkie was born and has never stopped since. Funny how that psychologists will point at strippers and say "man-haters" in the same breath and never look at some of the clientelle. I hated women at that point and for a few years after that. This does not mean I was mean to the dancers, just that I could share almost the same level of detachment.

    I had little money due to the financial burden of taking care of all of the responsibility, so the clubbing was at a very low level. I had a favorite, an incredible blonde with a delicious face and body and eraser nipples. But the most I think I spent was $16 on her. I just did not have it.

    But I had a great boss who was intimately familiar with my problems and pressures and was tolerant of the whole situation with me being mom and dad. How often I had to go school to settle incidents and fights, etc. It was endless. My boss kept the money at a competitive rate and made allowances for my kid problems.

    During the first two years after she left, my ex would try to relate to the kids, but she could not do it. E.g. I dropped two of the kids off to stay over at New Years one time and they were dropped back off in two hours. She wanted total control. I was mostly the one designated to bring the kids to her during the first few years. Would I take the kids again, if I could do it over? You bet! I could be no other way and I was lucky to do get them. I could have done so many things better, though.

    My best option after she left would have been to say, "Fuck her!" and started up a single life as if she did not exist. But the other problem that loomed in the background was not having been dating for almost 20 years.

    LOL... I have three kids, but it seems like I have had a dozen at times and have had a couple of their friends live with me for fairly long periods. Having a lot of kids around has kept me quite young inside in terms of music, open-ness and sexual stance. Plus it was a snap, "coming out of the closet" about our mutual hobby when I decided they were old enough to know and the time was right. LOL...about a half dozen of the female peers to my kids have tried their hand at stripping. Not my fault (I know what you are thinking. :o) I did meet one of them at the club I go to. She was a sit-on-your-lap shot girl. And I said no to her a few times and had her do it with the dancer I was with. Then I laughed and did it. It&#039;s only kinky the first time! Fortunately, there have not been that many opportunities.

    My closest female friend (and the only at the moment) is one of the peers, but although I have teased her alot about trying it (she would fit the bill almost entirely). I would not really want her to do it, though, as I know what the consequences are and how the attitudes change after becoming a stripper. I have known her for almost as long as my ex has been gone.

    After the divorce, things have been up and down with the kids relationship to my ex. They still are better with her than they were before. I can talk to her cordially, now. She is re-married and I fear that she may spin out the same kind of relationship.

    Hope you had a few beers for that one.

    Hello, my name is Sad and I am a StripClubJunkie.

    >>>Sad<<<
    Blonde jokes are two lines long so that men can understand them.

  7. #7
    Veteran Member Isis's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2004
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    335
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re:Ex's

    this thread explains alot

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •