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Thread: Double Standard - Take 2

  1. #51
    Veteran Member Kittie's Avatar
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Personally I think it's fucked up to ask us to choose between our current income (the assumption of course being that the majority of it comes from dishonest men) or having the knowledge that all my customers were honest (and the assumption that it would mean a drastically reduced income because it's so obvious that I make all my money from people who lie).

    It's fucked up because it's unfair to assume that the majority of men who go to strip clubs are dishonest. There's no way that you could ever prove such a thing unless you gave a lie detector test to every man who ever went to a strip club.

    It's fucked up that you feel the need to find a way to bring it to our attention that there are some men who lie to their SO's. As if we didn't know that. As if we are just mindless money-driven machines with no sense whatsoever of the human condition.

    I think it's fucked up that there is the assumption that we don't think about these things because if we did, then we'd start to feel guilty about it. Why in the hell should I feel guilty about someone else's choices in life???

    Now, say I have a customer, and he tells his wife that he doesn't go to strip clubs. But his wife doesn't quite believe it and so she comes in to the club and shows me a picture of her husband and asks me if I've ever seen him or danced for him before.......and I tell her no.....now that would be something for me to feel guilty about. That would be me participating in the lie.

    I'll say it once again that I am not responsible for the actions of my customers. The only actions in this world that I am responsible for are my own. As long as I am honest with myself and honest with the people in my life, then the way I see it I am doing all that I can do.

    If you still want me to answer the question...........I choose to continue doing my job to the best of my ability; I choose to remain truthfull; I choose to make as much money as I can to help support myself and my family.


  2. #52
    Featured Member Moneywise's Avatar
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Dayum... How the hell did I stumble upon this mudfest? I must have taken a wrong turn at the fork in the road.

    :sneaks back out while no one's looking and rushes towards Funprovocativehotsextalk Drive:

    Wrong turns can produce heart attacks. One must be careful from this point on.


  3. #53
    Veteran Member Kittie's Avatar
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Totally off topic, but I just wanted to say that the dog in Moneywise's avatar is totally adorable.

  4. #54
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25612#msg25612 date=1091433719

    Question: How in the flying fuck do you know that strippers are getting the bulk of their money from guys that are lying? YOU DON'T. Stop thinking that just because you are a liar, everyone else is, and a little lying is "human" and okay. Not in my book. Your last post is incredibly hateful, and yes, this shouldn't even be an issue.

    Polecat's posts are fucking dead-on, as usual.

    More later when I feel like it.
    I will answer your question, although you didn't answer mine.

    You are so absolutely correct. I don't know strippers/entertainers/sex workers get the bulk of their money from lying men. Just pulled that out of my ass. Of course, looking at this situation, does the percentage of 'lying men' even matter? So its OK of only 10% of your money comes from lying guys but not OK if 90% does? Such a firm foundation for your argument. You say even 'a little lying' isn't OK, but you gladly take money from those little liars.

    I'm not married, and am not currently serious with anyone, so I am not one of those lying customers. Maybe I will be at some point...but then again, maybe I won't. I simply brought up a question that has obviously bothered people who aren't at peace with their choices.

    Personal responsibility, and the idea that ones actions/choices do affect others....such a scary thing to consider.
    Nobodys perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.

  5. #55
    Veteran Member Kittie's Avatar
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Going back to the original thought about whether dancers are contributing to a double-standard or committing an act of hypocrisy by claiming to value honesty but providing services to customers who may be dishonest.............

    I don't think that the values or morality of a dancer can be judged by the actions of her customers, as she has no control over what actions her customers choose to take in their personal lives. Her morality and level of hypocrisy can only be judged by her own actions.

    For instance, lets say we have a dancer named Sativah. She says that she values honesty above all things in her relationships, and demands it from her SO. One night her boyfriend comes home from a night out with the boys. She asks him where they went and he says they went to the local sports bar, had a few drinks, and watched the game. The next morning, as Sativah is getting ready to do some laundry, she notices that the shirt her boyfriend wore to go out has glitter all over it. As a stripper, she knows that glitter on a man's shirt usually means he's been at a strip club. (That or he's been stealing her makeup; either way, there's somethng he's not telling her.) Totally pissed off, she storms into the living room and proceeds to rip him a new asshole.

    But that's funny, because just the week before, she told her boyfriend that she couldn't lend him any money for his car payment because she needed it to make a payment on her car. However her car note was already paid up for the month; she just wanted to keep the money so she could buy herself some new outfits for work.

    Is it a double-standard? Absolutely. She demands honesty from her BF, but doesn't seem to think it's all that important for her to be honest with him. It's also pretty hypocritical of her to say that she values honesty above all things when it's obvious that she doesn't.

    This is just one example of how strippers (like everyone else in society) can sometimes be guilty of having double-standards and being hypocritical. I'm pretty sure that kind of stuff happens all the time. Actually, after spending as much time in the dressing room as I have over the years, listening as the drama unfolds, I'm absolutely positive that this shit happens all the time.

    Can dancers be guilty of hypocrisy? Of course. But it doesn't have anything to do with whether or not a customer is a moral or honest person. You can't judge one person by the actions of another.


  6. #56
    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Darren link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25614#msg25614 date=1091451790
    I am done with this one.
    i did try to warn you, Darren.
    Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel. - Borat

    Alan Marciano
    : Oh, man...(to himself) Why did I get mixed up with that bitch?
    Lt. Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass and you got your head all the way up it! - from the movie "Heat".

  7. #57
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Darren link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25614#msg25614 date=1091451790
    You guys are right. Drug dealers, tobacco companies, gun runners, sweatshop owners, slum lords, you know what, there are no interdependencies... these are all just good hard working people trying to make a buck.
    For as long as you continue to try and shove strippers as rubbing elbows in this company, you will always get this kind of response... because, quite frankly, it's distorted and incorrect.

    Strippers work in legal, accepted locales and are providing ENTERTAINMENT for adults. They are there to make money providing such entertainment and by all local and regional acceptance and values.

    This differs wildly from a drug dealer or gun runner model. Every single dime made by these is by knowingly committing a crime or with prior knowledge that their chosen career IS unworthy or otherwise morally objectional. In order for a stripper to fall into something even comparable would be:
    1) The customer is married or has an SO.
    2) The customer has lied to his wife or SO.
    3) Between the customer and his SO, one of the two have a morality measurement system that believes lapdances are a form of 'cheating'.

    #3 being the biggie since by comparison, most dancers do not truly believe what they do is 'cheating' since many also have boyfriends/husbands and do not consider going to work every day and grinding away on guy's laps as having any comparison to taking the guy home and fucking them... nor is there any real emotional bond or likewise. It's a form of entertainment for $$ and nothing more.

    What I find of particular interest is the mindset that suggests the opposite (i.e. strippers are obviously like drug dealers or gun runners, and are in the business of encouraging and accomodating 'cheating' and 'lieing") would also suggest that having a stripper for a girlfriend or wife would be unacceptable.

    So the question really becomes- those giving this 'double standard' mentality, would this disqualify you from ever having a relationship with a stripper? I mean, after all, they are the devil's lapdog spreading vile sins every day in exchange for money. Their very existence is simply daily debauchery of inflicting sin upon married and attached men after all, right?
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

  8. #58
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25627#msg25627 date=1091475759
    Quote Originally Posted by Darren link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25614#msg25614 date=1091451790
    You guys are right. Drug dealers, tobacco companies, gun runners, sweatshop owners, slum lords, you know what, there are no interdependencies... these are all just good hard working people trying to make a buck.
    For as long as you continue to try and shove strippers as rubbing elbows in this company, you will always get this kind of response... because, quite frankly, it's distorted and incorrect.

    Strippers work in legal, accepted locales and are providing ENTERTAINMENT for adults. They are there to make money providing such entertainment and by all local and regional acceptance and values.

    This differs wildly from a drug dealer or gun runner model. Every single dime made by these is by knowingly committing a crime or with prior knowledge that their chosen career IS unworthy or otherwise morally objectional. In order for a stripper to fall into something even comparable would be:
    1) The customer is married or has an SO.
    2) The customer has lied to his wife or SO.
    3) Between the customer and his SO, one of the two have a morality measurement system that believes lapdances are a form of 'cheating'.

    #3 being the biggie since by comparison, most dancers do not truly believe what they do is 'cheating' since many also have boyfriends/husbands and do not consider going to work every day and grinding away on guy's laps as having any comparison to taking the guy home and fucking them... nor is there any real emotional bond or likewise. It's a form of entertainment for $$ and nothing more.

    What I find of particular interest is the mindset that suggests the opposite (i.e. strippers are obviously like drug dealers or gun runners, and are in the business of encouraging and accomodating 'cheating' and 'lieing") would also suggest that having a stripper for a girlfriend or wife would be unacceptable.

    So the question really becomes- those giving this 'double standard' mentality, would this disqualify you from ever having a relationship with a stripper? I mean, after all, they are the devil's lapdog spreading vile sins every day in exchange for money. Their very existence is simply daily debauchery of inflicting sin upon married and attached men after all, right?
    But you ignored the philip morris examples, and the other legal activity examples. As long as we all keep hearing whatever parts we want to hear and ignoring the rest we will all just go on talking to our own walls. So this thread is useless. Nobody, except for the guys that lie, are able to admit even the slightest bit of imperfection.

    Worse is as if we are just trying to suck up to dancers to get a shot at their pants then join the liars. If you are a dancer that just wants to hear what you want to hear, join the liars.

    I agree truth rocks. So when I hear a dancer with an obvious personality disorder (though no fault of her own, usually due to some fucked up father who has abused his daughter - they should rot) I am not going to pull anymore punches. If you beg for truth, truth you get. I am not trying to get into any dancer's pants because I don't cheat, so.... I am going to do them a favor. I am going to tell the truth. And the truth some of the dancers suffer from personality disorders.

    Let's all tell the truth - I agree.


  9. #59
    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Kittie I loved your analogy. I always stop by the local car wash before going home and invest a buck in the vacuum system to suck away all traces of glitter LOL

    Of course there are double standards..on both sides. Im laughing at the male suckup pontifications Ive seen here LOL Mutual exploitation is a given. Dancers want our money regardless of what personal situations we might have going on. I doubt any of the dancers I know give a shit about Mrs FBR. Likewise as customers, we want the dancers grinding our dicks. To me its a very staightforward business transaction, not a great intellectual exercise.

    FBR

    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  10. #60
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Darren link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25632#msg25632 date=1091494244
    But you ignored the philip morris examples, and the other legal activity examples. As long as we all keep hearing whatever parts we want to hear and ignoring the rest we will all just go on talking to our own walls.
    Nope. Not one bit. I listed 'tobacco companies' in my list as well. Go back and re-read the reply. Same-same.

    Every cigarette that is sold is absolutely, 100%, completely and utterly known to be at the health expense of someone else. Also, you're drawing a 'legal' line where I was drawing a 'moral' line.

    To create that equivalence is to also secure that every single lapdance is contributing to the unfaithfulness or a lie of a man. It assures that every single lapdance a stripper gives is therefore morally objectionable and unethical. Clearly, this isn't the case.. and there is no laboratory proven 'cancer' from lapdances... so whether or not the activity even CAN be measured as cheating or not is still completely incomparable. It's a matter of varying opinion where one's feelings on a lapdance happens to fall.

    And the 'get inside one's pants' and casting anyone that disagrees with you as being troubled or having issues was predictable. It's a sick and sad result but completely expected.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    No you didn't, you said

    "This differs wildly from a drug dealer or gun runner model. "

    You just quoted me and picked out the two the illegal ones because it suited your argument. It is right there above you. Where is philip morris in that quote?

    and yes, since we are going to tell the truth, yes I think you are kissing ass and you are not helping them by doing so. Your making their problem worse by telling them what they want to hear, not what they need to hear.

    There is reason why Erotic has had life time of miserable failures with men - it has something to do with her personality, but she is totally 100% oblivious to it. She is hot so guys tell her what she wants to hear. She is completely fuckin crazed about men that lie to her - completely has to be in control or she can't bear it. But you want to paint her as a saint. Go on and do it. She will just continue to be fucked up and never come to realize her problems have something to do with her. But you are not helping her at all. You may be making you feel good, and giving her temporary good feelings, but in the long run your just feeding into her own self deception. She projects her hatred on to men and doesn't have a clue as to why she has been cheated on and she never will - she is hot chick so there will always be some guy that comes along and tells her how right she is, whatever to get into her pants.

    Honesty sucks when people see things differently doesn't it?

    Well, I see things differently. My guess is she is nightmare to live with, but she can't see it, and your not helping by telling her how wonderful she is. Unfortunately she never will see it - being hot is going to cause her to spend a life time of men lying to her and telling her is she is just fine. Sad, but not unusual.






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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25634#msg25634 date=1091495478
    To create that equivalence is to also secure that every single lapdance is contributing to the unfaithfulness or a lie of a man. It assures that every single lapdance a stripper gives is therefore morally objectionable and unethical. Clearly, this isn't the case.. and there is no laboratory proven 'cancer' from lapdances... so whether or not the activity even CAN be measured as cheating or not is still completely incomparable. It's a matter of varying opinion where one's feelings on a lapdance happens to fall.
    Nobody has ever said and you and the women keep throwing this bullshit into the discussion. What so hard to understand about nobody blaims the dancers for the men lying? I have said that half a dozen times and the dancers and you keep saying the exact opposite. It is just bullshit. Guys lie because they are horny and they can. They don't blaim their horniness on the dancers.

    Please guys, stop the crap and bullshit.

    "NOBODY BLAIMS THE DANCERS FOR THE MEN LYING" The Men take FULL RESPONSIBILITY for their lying.

    and if you say they do again and ignore that sentence you are blind or just sucking up.


  13. #63
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Darren link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25637#msg25637 date=1091496910
    No you didn't, you said
    "This differs wildly from a drug dealer or gun runner model. "
    I didn't list every, single, solitarty quoted reference since I made the assumption that the quoted reference was a quoted reference.
    I also assumed that since I didn't refer to tobacco companies being an exception that you'd be able to figure out I wasn't creating exceptions. There were none. All the same. That's the reason for quoting parts of a post.


    You just quoted me and picked out the two the illegal ones because it suited your argument. It is right there above you. Where is philip morris in that quote?
    Tobacco companies.. now, if I stated specifically philip morris, I'm sure we'd now have 2-3 replies of you going "What about Marlboro? Or Winston-Salem?" kind of bullshit nonsense.

    If I were trying to do your current accusation ("picking and choosing") then why am I making it VERY clear there were no exceptions? ALL the examples you listed fall under the SAME model: the drug dealer/gun runner model. Tobacco companies included! Your list was 100% accurate as given... in it's entirety. Slumlords, sweatshop owners.. the whole nine yards.

    I'm glad you think anyone that has healthy opinions about the industry, women in general and relationships as obviously 'kissing ass" or "sucking up" or whatnot. From someone that insists upon pushing blame on others, away from the source of the real issue, I take that as a compliment.

    I also find it funny that you would be one condemning others you know nothing about as being either suckups, liars, or troubled. It's a grandstanding tactic to point at any moment in a person's life that was less than perfect as being the evidence of your "your a stripper and therefore you are fucked up morally and all my own blame is washed away" mentality.

    Very typical.. very expected.
    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25639#msg25639 date=1091497678

    I also find it funny that you would be one condemning others you know nothing about as being either suckups, liars, or troubled. It's a grandstanding tactic to point at any moment in a person's life that was less than perfect as being the evidence of your "your a stripper and therefore you are fucked up morally and all my own blame is washed away" mentality.

    Very typical.. very expected.
    Dude, what percentage of her messages are rages against men? Be blind as you want, but it is also very typical that there is always some guy that will suck up ... and very expected.

    And as expected, you threw in a sweeping generalization to make yourself look good.

    "your a stripper and therefore you are fucked up morally and all my own blame is washed away" mentality."

    No, I said Erotic has psychological problems. I didn't make some sweeping generalization that all strippers are fucked up morally. Infact I've said quite the opposite. Morally I have no objection to stripping.

    Your throwing that in there to make yourself look good. Let us be honest, that is not what I said, you know it is not what I said, but you really don't care. You just want to look good to the stippers. Maybe it will increase your chances of getting laid? Let just keep on whipping up bullshit and ignoring what people are saying - what matters is who do the strippers like enough to get laid right?

    The problem here is we really don't want any truth, we just want us to be one big happy family, so let's do that instead.

    All strippers are perfect.. repeat after me... we shall nothing negative about them lest we not get a crack at getting in their pants.

  15. #65
    Featured Member polecat's Avatar
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Darren link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25637#msg25637 date=1091496910
    There is reason why Erotic has had life time of miserable failures with men - it has something to do with her personality, but she is totally 100% oblivious to it.
    I just had to add..

    While your perspectives may be correct from your own experiences and past history, most women will understand this is the perspectives given from a man that has a history of lieing, cheating, paying for sex, etc.etc.

    I'm not trying to draw elitism behind different opinions, but the differing histories ARE going to result in different outlooks upon things. Some who has lied, been lied to, cheated and been cheated upon, and/or maintains a sex life through paid-for sex only is obviously going to have a vastly different perspective from people that don't experience all of the above. Herein lies the difference in opinion and why such discussions can clearly not hope to reach agreement.

    And for the record, if any stripper here or anywhere else threw themselves at me, I'd decline the offer. I have NO desire to get inside ANYONE'S pants.. and your repeated flocking to such hilarious and ill-founded nonsense is absolutely hysterical. My track record proves this. So, nice try but try again. I dont have enough time for the women in my life the way it is. It's comedy to suggest I'd be trying to add more LOL.

    It doesn't matter if you're somebody in this world, it rather matters you mean the whole world to somebody.

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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25642#msg25642 date=1091498461
    Quote Originally Posted by Darren link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25637#msg25637 date=1091496910
    There is reason why Erotic has had life time of miserable failures with men - it has something to do with her personality, but she is totally 100% oblivious to it.
    I just had to add..

    While your perspectives may be correct from your own experiences and past history, most women will understand this is the perspectives given from a man that has a history of lieing, cheating, paying for sex, etc.etc.
    Well let me just add then that you can't even fucking imagine how bad I feel for her. I've spent half a lifetime with a woman who has a personality disorder (borderline personality disorder). And let me tell you I don't for a minute blaim the woman. It is not her fault at all. It was brought on by a fucked up father who should rot in hell for screwing her over.

    But, let me also say that having spent 10 years professionally and half a life time personally dealing with issues like borderline personality disorder, I know in the long run the only really kind people are those that don't become co-dependents. You can't save people that are drowning by jumping in with them and drowing with them, but nor can you save them by telling them they are fine. YOu do infact have to be honest, and that hurts like hell. Very few women that have BPD or other related personality disorders are lucky enough to have people clear minded enough to tell them the truth.

    But dont think for a minute I don't fucking feel sympathy for them.

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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25642#msg25642 date=1091498461

    And for the record, if any stripper here or anywhere else threw themselves at me, I'd decline the offer. I have NO desire to get inside ANYONE'S pants.. and your repeated flocking to such hilarious and ill-founded nonsense is absolutely hysterical. My track record proves this. So, nice try but try again. I dont have enough time for the women in my life the way it is. It's comedy to suggest I'd be trying to add more LOL.
    Good, but since we are being honest it is a human nature (in particular a guys nature) to do what we can to keep our options open.

    And I have declined the offer myself (because I really do love the hell out of my SO and the thought of hurting her hurts to bad to really go through with), but that doesn't mean I didn't suck up in their presence to keep my options open. See I can be totally honest. I admit my personality is not entirely self consistent. On the one hand I'll suck up to a dancer to increase my odds. But then given the opportunity, I can't go through with it. But then honest people are aware that is human nature - we have inconsistent wants and drives in our psyches.

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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Kittie link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25615#msg25615 date=1091454510
    Personally I think it's fucked up to ask us to choose between our current income (the assumption of course being that the majority of it comes from dishonest men) or having the knowledge that all my customers were honest (and the assumption that it would mean a drastically reduced income because it's so obvious that I make all my money from people who lie).
    Well kitty, I am honest mode so...

    I would tell you to choose your income. It is not your fault at all if men come that lie their SOs. There you go babe. Don't feel even a bit of guilt about it. But here is the caveat...

    I'll only get mediaval on your ass (in a good kind of way ) if you go on a rampage about how fucked up it is that men lie about going to the SC while at the same time you are collecting the $$s.

    Do you get it? Infact it is not you're responsibility to police your customers. But on the flip side don't be a dumb ass and bury your head in the sand and pretend some of your customers don't lie to their SOs, or worse, don't get all get righteous on them because they suck for lying.

    I think it is fine that you strip. I think it is great that you strip. DO THE BEST FUCKING JOB YOU CAN AND TURN THOSE MEN ON AND MAKE A MILLION.

    But don't get all judgemental on your customers either. If you do decide to get judgemental then I'm going feel judgemental towards you. If you don't get judgemental, then I will treat you the same way and I fully support your job and hope you make millions.

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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by FBR link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25633#msg25633 date=1091495446
    Of course there are double standards..on both sides. Im laughing at the male suckup pontifications Ive seen here LOL Mutual exploitation is a given. Dancers want our money regardless of what personal situations we might have going on. I doubt any of the dancers I know give a shit about Mrs FBR. Likewise as customers, we want the dancers grinding our dicks. To me its a very staightforward business transaction, not a great intellectual exercise.

    FBR

    I couldn't fucking agree more.

    And the thing is a guy can want his dick ground on the one hand, while still loving the hell out of his SO on the other. No hate for women or dancers is involved. Sometimes it is just a feeling of lonliness, maybe the guy isn't getting much affection from his wife, sometimes not even that, it just a cheap thrill, but he doesn't hate.

    Now I short diversion on women and personality disorders. The most common of which is borderline personality disorder...

    The problem is women with borderline personality disorder (not their fault, but I have included some links below)) can't even fathom that humans can have such contradictory drives because they themselves are unable to acknowledge their own contradictory drives. Everything has to be black or white, all good or all bad. If a man lies in any way, he is 100% evil. Women with BPD can't comprehenend a middle/grey ground. Nor are they able to see their own flaws because to do so would make them completely flawed. Thing is guys like us, we can acknowledge our flaws... we don't like them, but we know we have them.

    The problem with a woman with borderline personality disorder is that it is just beyond them to comprehend that humans can love their SO on the one hand and yes, even go out to a SC on the other hand and like it and absolutely no hate is involved. Instead they project their hatred for the opposite sex on to the opposite sex and assume this must be the reason why they were cheat on. In fact most men don't cheat for anymore reason then because it feels good and they can. On the down side, when it comes to women with personality disorders, the reality is they are incredibly diffult to live with .. it is never ending bottom hole of want, control, and need. There is no making them happy because no matter what you do, they perpetually stir up crisis in order to be reassured they are loved and in control. The drive their SOs away in a constant stream of tests ... tests that their SOs invariably fail, validating the BPDs belief system that nobody loves them as much as they love themselves, that the opposite sex is evil, ... see HTTP links for more...

    The unfortunate thing about women with BPD or related disorders, there is always someone new in their life who buys their story, they are just victims, nothing is their fault, and who re-affirms for them them that they are just fine, that the problem really is with everyone else. Those who are co-dependents mean well, but in fact do more harm then good.


    http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/bpd.html

    http://www.stanford.edu/~corelli/borderline.html

    http://www.bpdcentral.com

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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by polecat link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25634#msg25634 date=1091495478
    Every cigarette that is sold is absolutely, 100%, completely and utterly known to be at the health expense of someone else. Also, you're drawing a 'legal' line where I was drawing a 'moral' line.
    Come on people, are we all dense?

    Philip Morris couldn't actually give a rat's ass if kids or people smoke. The government forces them to put those labels on the box, but let's be fucking honest about. Honestly it's in their best interest if kids and people smoke like chimneys. It is all totally fucking legal (like stripping), but point is the more people that smoke, the more money they make. But I will bet when it comes to the executives, to their own children, a different set of rules apply. They don't want our children dying of cancer. Just all the other little fuckers that they want $3.00 from.

    It is all very well and good when a Philip Morris executive gets all holier then though telling the world they don't smoke and the risks are right there on the label. It is all legal too. I am sure they are superior individuals for it, but they do without out a doubt benefit from smokers, even smokers who ignore the label.

    Let's stop BSing. Dancer's really couldn't give a rat's ass either if men lie if they are making money. They only care about lying when it directly affects them. What is so fucking hard to understand about the simple analogy. Enough lying and sucking up. When we don't put our fucking heads into the sand it doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to acknowledge that dancers don't give a rat's ass if men lie to their SOs as long as they are making a buck. They just claim it is not their responsibility. Fine, it is not Philip Morris's responsibility if you smoke. That is the analogy. Just don't bitch when you are a victim rather than a benificiary and all is well.


  21. #71
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    OMFG! This is THE funniest shit I have read in quite a while!!!! You don't like to be called a LIAR do you Darren? lmfao! I have healthy ideas about what relationships should be.... they shouldn't be embedded with lies, and if you are lying about who you are, then you are conning someone. Sad but true. It pisses you off, doesn't it Darren? lmfao!

    So far I have a personality disorder, and I am somehow causing men to cheat and lie to me. LMFAO! Is your wife causing you to lie to her too???? Thanks for the diagnosis Darren, this is coming from someone I have never met, and I have chatted with through text for all of two hours max. LMFAO! Do you think I'm like this in real person, you fucking dingaling? You don't know me AT ALL. I just can't believe the idiocy of someone who would try to diagnose someone over the fucking internet that they have never met and haven't even chatted with more than two hours. Darren, you are making a fucking fool of yourself.

    Now, according to the gospel of Darren, God help us: strippers, who are providing entertainment, are like Philip Morris and crack dealers. And polecat is supposed to tell us we are hypocrites because that will "help" us in our denial. Thank you Darren for your awesome insight. I am so impressed. The one who is in denial is you, Darren. You tell yourself that everyone lies, so that you can feel better about being a lying bastard yourself. Everyone doesn't, and NO, after all of the bullshit you have pulled to try and make it so, lying is still not seen as right by any standards in any society.

    Now, thank you to all who have participated in this lively discussion, but I see no need to reply, since Darren won't understand it anyway. You have not comprehended one post in this entire thread correctly Darren, which is why I couldn't care less what you think.

    I don't really care whether you or anyone else thinks I am a hypocrite. I hold myself with pride and dignity, I am intelligent, and I expect the same from people that I hold relationships with.

    Goodbye.

  22. #72
    Veteran Member Kittie's Avatar
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Darren link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25649#msg25649 date=1091501363
    Quote Originally Posted by Kittie link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25615#msg25615 date=1091454510
    Personally I think it's fucked up to ask us to choose between our current income (the assumption of course being that the majority of it comes from dishonest men) or having the knowledge that all my customers were honest (and the assumption that it would mean a drastically reduced income because it's so obvious that I make all my money from people who lie).
    Well kitty, I am honest mode so...

    I would tell you to choose your income. It is not your fault at all if men come that lie their SOs. There you go babe. Don't feel even a bit of guilt about it. But here is the caveat...
    No, it's not my fault. To say that it is would be to imply that I have control over others' lives and actions. And the last time I checked, I wasn't omnipotent.

    I'll only get mediaval on your ass (in a good kind of way ) if you go on a rampage about how fucked up it is that men lie about going to the SC while at the same time you are collecting the $$s.
    I haven't yet and I don't intend to. Perhaps you're confusing me with some of the other pinkies.

    Do you get it? Infact it is not you're responsibility to police your customers. But on the flip side don't be a dumb ass and bury your head in the sand and pretend some of your customers don't lie to their SOs, or worse, don't get all get righteous on them because they suck for lying.
    As I already stated in an earlier post, I am aware that some of my customers may be lying. As to what percentage, I can only guess, but like I said before, given the wide variety of people who come through the club doors, I'm sure that at least one of them is teling lies to someone.

    I think it is fine that you strip. I think it is great that you strip. DO THE BEST FUCKING JOB YOU CAN AND TURN THOSE MEN ON AND MAKE A MILLION.
    Thanks for your blessing. I intend to do just that.


  23. #73
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25659#msg25659 date=1091516299
    OMFG! This is THE funniest shit I have read in quite a while!!!! You don't like to be called a LIAR do you Darren? lmfao! I have healthy ideas about what relationships should be.... they shouldn't be embedded with lies, and if you are lying about who you are, then you are conning someone. Sad but true. It pisses you off, doesn't it Darren? lmfao!
    Actually, no, it doesn't piss me off, but you are incapable of understanding that normal people don't have this obsession over lying men that you have and can hold conversations about less than perfect situations without internalizing it.

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25659#msg25659 date=1091516299
    I am somehow causing men to cheat and lie to me.
    Part of your personality disorder, you like to turn everything into a conversation about you, or view it as an attack on you. when it has nothing to do with you. Nobody ever said you are causing them to cheat and lie but you are incapable of understanding an issue from a 3rd person point of view. You have to turn into a personal attack so that you can be the key figure in the discussion, the center of attention. Well, it wasn't about you personally, nor did any guy ever say you (or any dancer) makes them lie. You can keep on hearing that because it makes you feel good to think we are attacking you, but sadly, we are not. Not everything is about you.

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25659#msg25659 date=1091516299

    Do you think I'm like this in real person, you fucking dingaling? You don't know me AT ALL.
    Yes, I bet you are exactly like this in person. And this type of behavior is going to keep on driving men away.

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25659#msg25659 date=1091516299

    Now, thank you to all who have participated in this lively discussion, but I see no need to reply, since Darren won't understand it anyway. You have not comprehended one post in this entire thread correctly Darren, which is why I couldn't care less what you think.
    You wanted the truth, no lying, so you are getting it. And the truth is you come across like a woman with some serious emotional problems, particularly with regards to men and men who you can't control every aspect of their life (the one's who lie to you). You are trying to make the topic a topic about you and your agenda which is to yell some more about evil lying men. It is not all about you.



  24. #74
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Quote Originally Posted by Kittie link=board=1;threadid=1602;start=msg25663#msg25663 date=1091523027
    I haven't yet and I don't intend to. Perhaps you're confusing me with some of the other pinkies.

    Thanks for your blessing. I intend to do just that.
    No, it is cool, you were honest that you know some of your customers are lying to their SOs.

    The thing is that I don't even have any problem with Philip Morris selling cigarettes. In fact I would say as long as they are going to be in the business of providing tobacco products they should sell the best damn product they can. Now they'd have to live in a cave to believe that their customers are all healthy, over 18, moderate smokers... they know full well they make money off of children (that sneak smoke), elderly that should have quit long ago, people who's spouses disapprove of smoking (like my next door neighbor who is wife just gave him hell again for smoking but he is too addicted to quit), or those who really don't want to accept responsibility for their own actions (the one's who sue later and blaim Philip Morris for their own choice to start smoking).

    The problem for me would be is if Philip Morris was spouting a bunch of crap about the weak morale character of people who become addicted to smoking. And maybe some of the executives even tell their children something like, who knows, but that would be a contradiction/double-standard akin to what mobius started this thread with. Then I would have a personal problem with it because on the one hand Philip Morris would be casting moral judgement on their customers while at the same time thriving off their business.

    On the flip side some people do have a problem with Philip Morris because they do see that they thrive off the addictiveness of cigarettes, and the reality is they benefit because of a kind of human imperfection (we get addicted to some substances). Are they responsible though for people's addiction? Personally I don't think so, I think it is clearly a choice and people should take responsibility for their own choices. But not everyone agrees with me on that. Some people feel that the contradiction between their business and the effects on our society and the individuals is not okay. Same with stripping really. You can find plenty of people that think of strippers as whores, and temptresses. That is not me, but again you'd have to live in a cave not to be aware of that point of view.

    See, isn't it just fricken wonderful when people post viewpoints, trying to look at both sides of issue, without internalizing it and turning it into a personal issue?


  25. #75
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    Default Re:Double Standard - Take 2

    Well stated Darren.

    We all lie to ourselves. Or if we cannot, then we self-medicate in various ways to squelch the little voices in the our heads.

    Me, I am extremely cogniscent of the wedding bands, finger paint stains, and paunchiness that come with the territory of "married man". I am just too jaded to care. So, maybe that is number 3 way of dealing with the truth. Self-denial rounds out the categories and appears to be the most debate provoking explanation for a simple question of, how do you cope?"

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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