this is a funny thread on ASPD entiltled "Stupid things said by strippers". i found some of the comments truly hilarious. you can take a look at the thread HERE. oh, here are some of the more memorable silly comments that strippers have made to me in the past.
incident #1
mr_punk: so, you want me to lend you $800 so you can attend bartending school?
stripper: yes.
mr_punk: and how will you pay me back?
stripper: whenever, you come to see me at my job. i'll give you all the free drinks you want.
at this point, i laughed so hard. i almost pissed in my pants. the stripper got insulted and started to cry. i laughed even harder.
incident #2
high mileage out-of-town stripper (after she unzips my pants and makes sure there's lead in my pencil with her hands): i don't give BJ or have sex with my customers.
**side note: this stripper always had a steady stream of regulars from the day she started.**
mr_punk (i put on my serious face): of course not. i never thought otherwise.
stripper: but you've been such a loyal customer and i want to make you happy. i want you to cum for me. (she does achieve both goals and breaks one of her cardinal rules by the second dance in the process)
incident #3 (here is a snippet of a conversation i had with a stripper not too long ago.)
mr_punk: you mean amyl nitrate, don't you?
stripper: no, it's anal nitrate. my ex-BF always called it that.
mr_punk: i'm sure he did.
***side note: she told me her ex-BF was a doctor. she also told me he lost his license and is currently in jail. now, i can see why he's in jail.***
stripper: are you sure it's amyl nitrate?
mr_punk: i'm pretty sure.
stripper: well, that doesn't make sense. i understand anal, but what does amyl mean?
mr_punk: well, it's because...er...i have no idea.
(coincidentally, i did happen to know the answer, but why waste my breath? i'm about ready to put a gun in my mouth and pull the freaking trigger. this conversation has gone on far too long and she's driving me batty. however, she's very sensitive and she also happens to be on my top ten BBBJ list, which is a very tough list to crack. so, i have to humor her for a bit in order to get what i want.)
stripper: could you spell 'amyl'?
mr_punk (inwardly sighs): A-M-Y-L



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