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Thread: Stupid things said by Strippers

  1. #1
    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
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    Default Stupid things said by Strippers

    this is a funny thread on ASPD entiltled "Stupid things said by strippers". i found some of the comments truly hilarious. you can take a look at the thread HERE. oh, here are some of the more memorable silly comments that strippers have made to me in the past.

    incident #1

    mr_punk: so, you want me to lend you $800 so you can attend bartending school?

    stripper: yes.

    mr_punk: and how will you pay me back?

    stripper: whenever, you come to see me at my job. i'll give you all the free drinks you want.

    at this point, i laughed so hard. i almost pissed in my pants. the stripper got insulted and started to cry. i laughed even harder.

    incident #2

    high mileage out-of-town stripper (after she unzips my pants and makes sure there's lead in my pencil with her hands): i don't give BJ or have sex with my customers.

    **side note: this stripper always had a steady stream of regulars from the day she started.**

    mr_punk (i put on my serious face): of course not. i never thought otherwise.

    stripper: but you've been such a loyal customer and i want to make you happy. i want you to cum for me. (she does achieve both goals and breaks one of her cardinal rules by the second dance in the process )



    incident #3 (here is a snippet of a conversation i had with a stripper not too long ago.)

    mr_punk: you mean amyl nitrate, don't you?

    stripper: no, it's anal nitrate. my ex-BF always called it that.

    mr_punk: i'm sure he did.

    ***side note: she told me her ex-BF was a doctor. she also told me he lost his license and is currently in jail. now, i can see why he's in jail.***

    stripper: are you sure it's amyl nitrate?

    mr_punk: i'm pretty sure.

    stripper: well, that doesn't make sense. i understand anal, but what does amyl mean?

    mr_punk: well, it's because...er...i have no idea.

    (coincidentally, i did happen to know the answer, but why waste my breath? i'm about ready to put a gun in my mouth and pull the freaking trigger. this conversation has gone on far too long and she's driving me batty. however, she's very sensitive and she also happens to be on my top ten BBBJ list, which is a very tough list to crack. so, i have to humor her for a bit in order to get what i want.)

    stripper: could you spell 'amyl'?

    mr_punk (inwardly sighs): A-M-Y-L
    Last edited by mr_punk; 12-04-2004 at 06:38 PM. Reason: cause i felt like it
    Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel. - Borat

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  2. #2
    Featured Member Moneywise's Avatar
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    Default Re:Stupid things said by Strippers

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_punk link=board=9;threadid=1671;start=msg26308#msg26308 date=1094281319
    incident #3 (here is a snippet of a conversation i had with a stripper not too long ago.)

    mr_punk: you mean amyl nitrate, don't you?

    stripper: no, it's anal nitrate. my ex-BF always called it that.

    mr_punk: i'm sure he did.

    ***side note: she told me her ex-BF was a doctor. she also told me he lost his license and is currently in jail. now, i can see why he's in jail.***

    stripper: are you sure it's amyl nitrate?

    mr_punk: i'm pretty sure.

    stripper: well, that doesn't make sense. i understand anal, but what does amyl mean?

    mr_punk: well, it's because...er...i have no idea.

    (coincidentally, i did happen to know the answer, but why waste my breath? i'm about ready to put a gun in my mouth and pull the freaking trigger. this conversation has gone on far too long and she's driving me batty. however, she's very sensitive and she also happens to be on my top ten BBBJ list, which is a very tough list to crack. so, i have to humor her for a bit in order to get what i want.)

    stripper: could you spell 'amyl'?

    mr_punk (inwardly sighs): A-M-Y-L

    LOL. That's classic. Anal Nitrate? hahah... daffy the doctor.


  3. #3
    Featured Member Moneywise's Avatar
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    Default Re:Stupid things said by Strippers

    Her: "Having sex here in the club is not cheating on my man. I do this to pay the bills while he's looking for a job. When I suck dick it is only work it is NOT cheating."

    Me: "What if you catch him messing around with another woman at his job?"

    Her: "I'll cut his dick off because that Mother F*cker better NEVER touch another lady, cause he isn't screwing her to pay the bills I am. I'll blow you for $100."


    Me: "Not more than $80"

    Her: "OK let's go"
    LOL!


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    Default Re:Stupid things said by Strippers

    The whole "it's okay in the club because it's my job" thing blows my mind. I once had a pretty dancer start crying on me because her BF went to another club, tipped at the rail, and got some other dancer's boobs rubbed on his face.

    She wanted to make believe he was tied to a chair in VIP watching us make a video of what a dirty slut she could be to get even. She had me insulting the BF, telling him what a total jerk he was for doing that. She got off hard five or six times, and I actually felt sorry for the guy.

  5. #5
    Big D
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    Default Re:Stupid things said by Strippers

    Well, I like to make at least one customer a night miss my ass. No really! I get off on it...

    While I was crawling around on stage I would slide in front of the customer, turn so that my side of my ass was in front of his face and say "kiss my but t a." Worked every time. There was something very satisfying about it!

    D

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