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Thread: boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

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    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
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    Default boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    you go to a sc, pay the cover, find a hot looking stripper with a loose set of sexual morals, you lube up your finger and just when things are starting to heat up. she unleashes a salvo of verbal/physical saltpeter. for the guys into the fantasy/personality thing. i suppose it would be akin to finding out that a stripper is married, attached, has kids, isn't studying to be a nurse, isn't a virgin, is flakier than a seven dollar bill, or that you're really not special.

    it could be something as simple as a physical act like pinching/biting a customers nipples. how about a strippers putting a little too much english with the "rubbing her knee against his groin" trick or a stripper making the profound discovery while stick-shifting that a penis really isn't that flexible. in both cases, the customer usually ends up on the floor in the fetal position, screaming like a little girl. my only point is that sometimes, there is a moment during the customer/dancer interaction whereas the dancer says or does something to turn-off the customer in some way.

    occasionally, i'll get asked the question, "so, are you married?". i'll answer yes or no depending on the circumstances and think nothing of it. like i said, i only get asked the question ocassionally. under normal circumstances, i probably wouldn't have given it a second thought.

    recently, due to random chance, i've been asked that question quite a bit [ 2 strippers and one escort ] over a short period of time and it irritated me. Why? 1) in the case of the escort, she should know better not to ask that question. 2) in the case of the strippers, if they're are so curious about my martial status, could you at least wait until the end of the dance or ask before? it kinda kills my boner when i have to change gears like that midstream. so, if i'm getting an LD with some very good mileage and my pants are unzipped and willy is free. now is not a good time to play Sherlock Holmes. as much as i would like to say, "quit being nosy, bitch and just gimmie a blowjob!" . do you think that method would royally screw up my chances for a BJ?

    another example, i buy dances from this one stripper. however, she has one problem. she's always been a bit of a chatty cathy, but the mileage is excellent. one night, i settled in for what i thought was going to be another memorable high mileage lap from her. anyway, while grabbing her ass like a nerf football during the LD. i made an innocuous complimentary remark about the quality of her ass skin. so, instead of just accepting the compliment gracefully by saying nothing or even just a simple "thank you". she mentioned that she when she had her baby. she put some crap on her skin to keep it soft. whatever, i didn't really need to know that, but since i had a a nipple in my mouth. who was i to argue? then she mentioned [without any prompting from myself] that her boyfriend physically abused her during her pregnancy in graphic detail. "why did she telling me this?", i thought to myself. however, the icing on the cake was when she stopped blabbering long enough to ask me why willy turned into wee willy. i was done for the night. geez, do i have to start carrying a syringe of Caverject with me into a sc?

    or am i the only one? us:



    Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel. - Borat

    Alan Marciano
    : Oh, man...(to himself) Why did I get mixed up with that bitch?
    Lt. Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass and you got your head all the way up it! - from the movie "Heat".

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    Veteran Member Kittie's Avatar
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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    OMG......sorry. Ok, I know this situation wasn't really all that humorous but I just got this mental picture of a deflating boner.............


    **(I feel the need, as a good little stripper, to give this token protest of your SC activities. You and I both know that you don't give a shit about my opinion in this matter, but I just have to say how wrong and totally nasty it is for you to free willy in the club. )**

    That being said, I also think that a stripper should never drop their past-trauma bombs into a customers lap during a LD. (or anytime actually) That's the kind of thing that should be shared only with one's therapist, and/or a family member or friend who gives a shit. It was very unprofessional of her.

    I do, however, think I may know why she did it though. If she's like me, then she may have a problem with her ability to get off a thought train at the correct stop.

    See, you gave her a compliment on her ass. Said it was nice. This made her think of the things she has done to try to keep her ass nice....and so she shared them with you. She used a cream during her pregnancy. This in turn made her think about the pregnancy, and if she was beaten badly during the pregnancy, then it's only natural that she might think of that next.

    In her case, that's a train she never should have boarded......out loud.

    I'm not sure that any of that makes sense to anyone but me, but I hope it gave you something to think about.

  3. #3
    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kittie link=board=9;threadid=1685;start=msg26552#msg26552 date=1095662043
    OMG......sorry. Ok, I know this situation wasn't really all that humorous but I just got this mental picture of a deflating boner.............
    it is funny. feel free to laugh. you're not offending me. you're offending willy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kittie link=board=9;threadid=1685;start=msg26552#msg26552 date=1095662043
    I feel the need, as a good little stripper, to give this token protest of your SC activities. You and I both know that you don't give a shit about my opinion in this matter, but I just have to say how wrong and totally nasty it is for you to free willy in the club.
    in general or have you been reading my sig file? in any case, i wouldn't go that far. i like hearing your opinion, but willy has a mind of his own. what can i do? i'm just his life support system.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kittie link=board=9;threadid=1685;start=msg26552#msg26552 date=1095662043
    That being said, I also think that a stripper should never drop their past-trauma bombs into a customers lap during a LD. (or anytime actually) That's the kind of thing that should be shared only with one's therapist, and/or a family member or friend who gives a shit. It was very unprofessional of her.
    i agree. they shouldn't, but it happens and sometimes just pretending to really give a shit can go a long way to freeing willy. like i said, i don't mind as long as they don't do it during a LD. it really kills my mood. i guess that's why i think personality is overrated in strippers. sometimes, they just don't know when to shut that crap down and get down to business of making willy stand at attention. isn't that part of the process?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kittie link=board=9;threadid=1685;start=msg26552#msg26552 date=1095662043
    I'm not sure that any of that makes sense to anyone but me, but I hope it gave you something to think about.
    it makes perfect sense, kittie. she's flakier than a seven dollar bill, but i already knew that beforehand. then again, she's hot and the mileage is very good. i guess, i'll have to start bringing aspirin with me into the sc in addition to everything else. does anyone know if they make PL Pros with cargo pockets?
    Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel. - Borat

    Alan Marciano
    : Oh, man...(to himself) Why did I get mixed up with that bitch?
    Lt. Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass and you got your head all the way up it! - from the movie "Heat".

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    Veteran Member Happy_Camper's Avatar
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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    I had one girl tell me she just found out she was pregnent, then who her boyfriend was, and blah blah blah. All on the first dance... and I had never met her before.
    Why would anyone think talk of their boyfriend during a dance is a good thing?

    Needless to say, I only got one dance and I have never seen her there again.
    Quote Originally Posted by Chuck
    Remember HC, "NO" only means "NO" when she says it..... LMAO

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    Member danhunt's Avatar
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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    This happened to me at Treasures in Houston last week-

    I had just finished my 2nd adult beverage of the night when I was approached by a Latina godess. We were discussing our lives interests, etc. (and I was admiring her stupendous tits!) when she asks me if I was married. Unfortunately, I said yes.

    She then goes on to tell me how I shouldn't be at a strip club and that sex was overated in marriage! Needless to say, right after that I decided I needed a biological break, and I told her goodbye.

    Later, another stripper told me that the Latina was a friend of her's. When my dancer left to go to the little girls room the Latina asked her what she had done to get all those dances, drinks, champagne from me.
    She said,"nothing really special."
    The Latina then said, " I wonder what I said to him to make him go to you?"

    Not all of these girls escalators go all the way to the top floor. Do they?
    "Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out."

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    Veteran Member Kittie's Avatar
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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?


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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    unbelievable. And really funny.

    Here is what I say during dances: "........"

    Unless I get one of those chatty guys who likes to talk; some of them do, and I'll oblige.

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    how about a strippers putting a little too much english with the "rubbing her knee against his groin" trick or a stripper making the profound discovery while stick-shifting that a penis really isn't that flexible.
    I can't stand that. It's not a garden hose, and it can break.

    Don't handle me like a piece of friggin' rebar.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    God/dess erotictonic's Avatar
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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    Oh God, this is some funny stuff. I can't believe strippers telling you their life stories during a ld. Wow. So attractive. And so are your thoughts, mr. p. lol.

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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    1. Anal fantasies kill it for me. If a dancer gets cranked up and starts talking about how bad she wants it in the ass, it's over when the song's over.

    I actually liked a dancer who eventually told me she wanted a finger in her butthole. I kept a couple of birthday candles in my pocket and a book of matches, too.

    2. Drama also kills it for me. At the beginning of a song yesterday, a dancer said her friend Miss M called and said I told other dancers she said M was a cokehead. WTF? I don't even use that word. One and out with her.


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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    Quote Originally Posted by SW2 link=board=9;threadid=1685;start=msg26643#msg26643 date=1095948620
    1. Anal fantasies kill it for me. If a dancer gets cranked up and starts talking about how bad she wants it in the ass, it's over when the song's over.
    Damn, that's what I tell ALL my PL's about during the first song!

    What's wrong w a lil buttfucking anyway?

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine link=board=9;threadid=1685;start=msg26671#msg26671 date=1096061943
    What's wrong w a lil buttfucking anyway?
    It all depends on the setting. For example:

    Motel room = good
    Prison cell = not so good

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine link=board=9;threadid=1685;start=msg26671#msg26671 date=1096061943


    What's wrong w a lil buttfucking anyway?
    Kat, thats what I keep telling Miss D. Hell, she freaks out if I only slip it in up to the first finger joint. I suspect 7" of massive manhood is centuries away

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    I think this thread proves once and for all that my preference for South American dancers who speak little or no english is definitely the way to go.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    you know, that's not a bad idea. i've only met a couple of south american strippers and from what little i've seen they are good-looking. then again, any type of foreign dancer would probably be an improvement over most russian strippers.
    Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel. - Borat

    Alan Marciano
    : Oh, man...(to himself) Why did I get mixed up with that bitch?
    Lt. Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass and you got your head all the way up it! - from the movie "Heat".

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    I don't know where you've been going but most of the russian strippers...and women, I have seen are really fucking hot! And I'm not just saying this because I am.........well, ya know.........

    Puerto Rican dancers are often really hot too....

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    God/dess mr_punk's Avatar
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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine link=board=9;threadid=1685;start=msg26710#msg26710 date=1096152934
    I don't know where you've been going but most of the russian strippers...and women, I have seen are really fucking hot!
    oh, i'm wasn't referring to their looks. however, you're right. they are hot and some of them are simply stunning, but there's more than one way to kill a boner. there's a lot left to be desired of a russian stripper when you factor in the russian style of hustling.

    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine link=board=9;threadid=1685;start=msg26710#msg26710 date=1096152934
    And I'm not just saying this because I am.........well, ya know.........
    well, you're a pussycat compared to some of your fellow countrywomen, katnip. i'll put it this way. sometimes, i'll take my tiproll out and place it on the table or on the floor while getting an LD. i'll never do that around a russian dancer. i'm not saying they'll try to steal my money, but why give them the chance.

    Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain than a man? The government scientist Dr. Yamuka has proved it is size of squirrel. - Borat

    Alan Marciano
    : Oh, man...(to himself) Why did I get mixed up with that bitch?
    Lt. Vincent Hanna: Cause she's got a great ass and you got your head all the way up it! - from the movie "Heat".

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    LOL

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  19. #19
    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    I cant decide if Kat would look better posed with an AK47 or a Tokarov (sic) pistol. In either case she should accessorize with a Kevlar vest (buttoned just enough to expose some cleavage), thong and combat boots (dusted with just a touch of Mother Russia's soil)

    Now THATS a sight that would delight a Junkies heart

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    Quote Originally Posted by FBR link=board=9;threadid=1685;start=msg26731#msg26731 date=1096227050
    I cant decide if Kat would look better posed with an AK47 or a Tokarov (sic) pistol. In either case she should accessorize with a Kevlar vest (buttoned just enough to expose some cleavage), thong and combat boots (dusted with just a touch of Mother Russia's soil)

    Now THATS a sight that would delight a Junkies heart

    FBR
    Only if the AK and Tokarov were unloaded. Otherwise she'd make bank on the first customer in less than 30 seconds with no services rendered. LOL.
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    LMAO Fish

    WBWBWBWBWB!!! bud

    You mean to tell me that Miss P wasnt locked an loaded?? LOL

    FBR

    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    Quote Originally Posted by FBR link=board=9;threadid=1685;start=msg26737#msg26737 date=1096236583


    You mean to tell me that Miss P wasnt locked an loaded?? LOL

    FBR

    Unfortunately or fortunately she was! She made too much but I loved every minute of it.
    When the man says, "I do," it is the happiest day of her life.-Al Bundy

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    Default Re:boner killing strippers - why are you telling me this?

    Yeah I hear that. Miss D was locked and loaded Saturday. Somehow she got me into a conversation about what I used to do with my ex-ATF in Indy back in the day. Its amazing how just talking about stuff will get woman all worked up Sounds like an OTC is in order LOL

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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