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Thread: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

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    Veteran Member Stipperella's Avatar
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    Sad HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    I am kinda sad today well not sad disappointed. My ex has been calling me for a while so on Wednesday I finally decided to see him and went to his place. He just recently got a new job so he has to wear a sticker on his shirt that says visitor and his name on it since he hasn't gotten his real tag yet.

    Anyway, he forgot to take it off so I noticed someone had written on it. It said Brenda xoxoxox. I was like . He just laughed and said oh its this girl that likes me but don't worry I dont' like her she is fat!!! and besides I can't get involved with a co-worker thats just the way it is there. Work rules.

    So i was like o.k. I believed him kinda.

    We ended the night early cause he was going out with his friends he said he hadn't gone out in a long time.

    Yesterday I was looking at the newspaper and there is this section where a photographer goes to different clubs and takes pics of ppl out and about and they post them every friday in the newspaper secion of clubs. Well you will never believe who came out this week.


    Yeap, My ex with a girl named Brenda!!! and she was not fat!!! not only did he lie that she was fat but apparently he has gone out lately. I don't know what to do should i confront him? I kinda feel liike its not worth it and why give him the satifaction. I kinda just want to just not talk to him anymore.

    But I don't understand why is he even calling me then???? Why does he want me? I feel really bad not just because its him but just because apparently someone was gonna do it to me again. I don't understand men. Now this makes me not even trust men. I'm reallly confused.

    And I would appreciate comments from both men and females. what do you all think???

    Sorry if this was long.


  2. #2
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    Well, I would cross him off my list, sounds like a player to me. You deserve better. It sounds like (not tryin' to be mean here) he maybe just wants you around here & there, & meanwhile is out & about doin' his thing, meeting & hookin' up, or tryin' to. He has you come over, then ends early to go out w/friends, (ie something 'better to do'?) wtf is THAT about, BYE. Why is he calling you? Evidently to keep his options open in case other plans fall thru, or just to feed his ego, having a woman around, beside whatever else he has goin'. Do something nice, for YOURSELF. Take some time out, take care of yourself, when you're ready go out CAUTIOUSLY.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    ANYTIME an ex comes back and lies about his "new" life right off the bat...it's bad news.

    Don't say anything to him. Don't call him...don't return his calls...don't answer when he calls. Just walk away. Now is the best time to do so. There's been no long "re-investment" with this guy, so although it's gonna be hard...it'll be harder if you let him pull you into his world of dysfunction, dishonesty, etc. Just walk away now.

    BTW...just curious...who broke up with who?

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    Veteran Member Stipperella's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    well its weird because we had broken up a few times before and i was always the one to leave him. He would be super jealous and call me all the time and go looking for me at my friends houses, etc. just really possessive and he wanted to get married and have kids, and now that i saw him recently he looked different to me not the same guy. It like the tables have turned lol So in a way is this my fault?

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    How can this be your fault? This kid sounds immature, plain and simple. It seems to me he's lookin for as many holes as he can fit his pecker in, and it doesn't matter who who gets hurt in the process.
    I would ignore him from now on, don't go see him, call him, talk to him etc.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    I don't think you need to blame yourself, or worry about "fault", if any. I think Venus gave you excellent advice, (she always does) I second it. It sound like he doesn't know wtf HE wants.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Veteran Member pimpy718's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Stipperella
    well its weird because we had broken up a few times before and i was always the one to leave him. He would be super jealous and call me all the time and go looking for me at my friends houses, etc. just really possessive and he wanted to get married and have kids, and now that i saw him recently he looked different to me not the same guy. It like the tables have turned lol So in a way is this my fault?
    I'm kind of confused as to what you're asking. From what I gather: he's not your boyfriend, you shouldn't care. If he's jockin you (but he chilled with some chic named Brenda and didn't want to tell you about it) you still shouldn't care because he's not your boyfriend. And what kind of question is that: "Is it my fault?" He used to be super-jealous but now because he has a 'new life' it's your fault?! Um, not really. Who would want to be with someone super jealous that stalks you at your friends houses? Let's be serious. Sorry if this is coming off bitchy, I'm just being honest-he's your ex, not your current boy toy. So my point: who cares? If you like him as a person (you're friends and not just lovers), you should have enough guts to communicate affectively about this girl Brenda. If not, throw him out like last week's trash.

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    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    What everyone else said.

    Let him go. He called you b/c he wanted something.

    I cant stand people who lie....especially when there was no need to lie(you two arent together)...imagine what else he's lying about....Just let him go

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    Short & simple....

    Don't even bother with him.




    Vyanka
    xoxoxo

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Stipperella
    well its weird because we had broken up a few times before and i was always the one to leave him. He would be super jealous and call me all the time and go looking for me at my friends houses, etc. just really possessive and he wanted to get married and have kids, and now that i saw him recently he looked different to me not the same guy. It like the tables have turned lol So in a way is this my fault?
    No...I'm not saying it's your fault in any way. Just was wondering...because it seemed to me he was doing it as more of a "payback". Which, now that you've just clarified that...that sounds exactly what he's doing.

    Don't walk...run away. Just get out of this situation and let him go.

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    Featured Member Crystal_eyes's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    Alot of guy's are like that they hate confrontation so he said to you she's fat ... but me I don't like guy's like that there's never a reason to lie ! Alot of people can't stand it when somebody doesn't care about them so they come back but it's only because he's insecure and wants you to chase after him ! I know how it is I went out with a guy like that he was super jealous and possesive I couldn't talk to guys and when we broke I saw him and he was still trying with me just to see if he still have it ! Too bad for him I never called him back ! You should do the same thing this guy has issues and it's not of you to resolve is problems it's a shrinks job !

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    Featured Member Magdalena_666's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by pimpy718
    I'm kind of confused as to what you're asking. From what I gather: he's not your boyfriend, you shouldn't care. If he's jockin you (but he chilled with some chic named Brenda and didn't want to tell you about it) you still shouldn't care because he's not your boyfriend.
    This is the same as what I am thinking.
    There are so many possibilities to his actions I am not sure anyone can give you a definite way to handle this.

    I am going to look at this from a different POV, so please don't take this personal.
    Maybe he didn't tell you the truth because he because he didn't want to upset you (not the best way to go about it considering I admit) - I mean it is unecessary to throw something like that in an ex's face and if you are broken up then you are supposed to have (somewhat) seperate lives.
    Are you both getting back together or are you just communicating as friends?
    I also get a little hint that there is a possibility that you may be a jealous person also? I don't mean it as an insult but from the info you have gave (him being your ex... not your bf) this does seem possible.


    'Success is relative. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.'
    T.S Eliot

    I believe you Dottie and you have my support






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    Default Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    All you need to understand is that he is bad for you. Since he's bad for you, don't have him around you or in your life.

    Lena



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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    "I don't like her she's fat" Is enough for me to knock the hell out of him and keep walking away.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    Default Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    It would seem that his greatest quality at this point is that he is able to dish multiple lies in the same breath to you. This is not like leaving the toilet seat up. It is part of who he is. Why is he calling you? To keep you on a string. Cut it.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    Sad Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    I know how you feel.I have been with a lot of ( Bad Boys) to. My last one was supposed to take me out on a Sunday.We talked the night before and everything was fine.Come Sunday he doesn't show up,call or answer his phone.A week later he calls and says he fell off a roof at work and spent a week in the hospital.( He is also a compulsive lier) He had a week to call me, but didn't.He is in sales and finds out what women want and tells them what they want to hear. Like marriage and children.He is a great con-artist. It gives him pleasure to build a person up and then crush her emotionaly.Their are lots of these loser men out there.The reason a man has many women on the line is( one may pay his bills, one may be good in bed, one may impress his boss,family or friends) Image means alot to a man.If one girl dumps him, he has others to run to. My advice is: Run away from him this second. I know it is hard.We find comfort in the past, in things and people we know.It is hard to start over. Give yourself a 3-6 month break on men and take care of your own life and happiness.As women we make the mistake of thinking some man will make us happy or take care of us. It rarely happens. Never let anyone treat you with disrespect again.You go girl!

  17. #17
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: HELP!!! Boyfriend Advice Needed!!!

    any way that he wrote it on his name tag to make you jealous THINKING that you would read the paper?

    Good way to throw it in your face??

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