Ok,
I know is sounds bad, perhaps it is bad. I need to know if men ever leave their wives for the "mistress"? Does it just not happen? Am I really one of "those girls" who believed a "lying bastard"? What is up with the men who have a wife they are unhappy with and a girl they love, but they wont leave the wife for the new girl?
I met a guy at the club who I got to know and started caring about. (I am a dancer.) We got to know eachother without me even considering the fact that he was married b/c most guys in the club are married, neither of us were looking for a relationship outside the club. Then I found myself really liking him. I started seeing him outside the club, no money, not business, but based on emotion, mental connection and some physicalness, but not all the time. His marriage is turbulant to say the least, he is/was not happy. But he had been with her 20 years, so there was a commitment feeling and of course he still loves her "but is not in love with her". Anyway it sounds so cliche but I really thought we were different. I fell in love with him over 7 months and I am sure he loves me, but love is an emotion that can be classified on so many ways, lets say I know he really cared about me as a person. But he started lying to me, he was lying to her and now it is a big fat mess where he is doing his best at damage control with his wife and letting me hang. Not that I am letting myself hang. I am not interested in a relationship where I am second class. He said he loved me, was leaving his wife, had lawyers, that he was all mine and I'd have to shace him away, etc. But I caught him in a few lies and now am moving on. But I cant just stop loving him so i am trying to understand what happend so I can move on better educated than before. I know short term affairs, esp with wealthy married men, are the norm. I never thought I'd be a part of this, but the heart is unbelievably strong and stubborn. I wish he had been upfront with his desires, perhaps I would have been ok with a short term love, if I knew that is what he had wanted, but he lead me to believe he wanted me for life. Anyone have a similar situation that actually worked out or is that just fantasy?



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Very few guys in a secure and comfortable financial situation will give up half or more of what they have accumulated over the years to be with someone whom they are attracted to but doesnt bring anything financially significant to the party. As much as the guy whines about not being happy or not being in love blah blah at the end of the day, the thought of going that far backwards when push comes to shove is unacceptable.




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