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Thread: Long distance relationships

  1. #1
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Long distance relationships

    Are the worse!! Never ever again! I had to cut of the relationship I had with this guy who lives in California. I'm from the east coast, so imagine. I don't know if I did the right thing or what bc I really do like this guy alot, & I mean ALOT....but it's just not fair for the both of us. We're not really exclusive of course bc of it. I don't know what he's doing over there, he could be screwing 5 girls for all I know even though I don't have a gut feeling but never know.


    aaaaahhh, i'm just in an emotional wreck right now. had to vent.

  2. #2
    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Long distance relationships

    Aw sorry to hear it hun.
    I've had 1 ldr in my time and I found out that while I was protecting my country my girl was bangin everyone around her

  3. #3
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Long distance relationships

    Whew.. Yep, Long Distance relationships do suck for the most part. I've mentioned before that my ex hubby and I were apart for pretty much our whole "dating" relationship (all 8 months of it). Of course, our relationship went further when he proposed to me when I visited him in Orlando. The next month, we were married. Throughout our whole marriage though, there was a TON of separation. Military marriages suck. Even though you're married to a person, you are so alone.

    I know how you feel hon, I've been there. As a matter of fact, years after we were married, I found a bag of letters that a few of his ex-girlfriends were writing to him while he was in basic training. And of course, he was writing back. Blech.

  4. #4
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Long distance relationships

    I hate this, where i'm from all the men are up to no good. Drugs & are all party animals. I feel like i'm never gonna meet a good guy.


    Blade & Rhi, sorry for your exes too.

  5. #5
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Long distance relationships

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka
    I hate this, where i'm from all the men are up to no good. Drugs & are all party animals. I feel like i'm never gonna meet a good guy.


    Blade & Rhi, sorry for your exes too.
    Go out with a nerd.

  6. #6
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Long distance relationships

    Awww.....look at the up side- you are now single. (What I lost in LTR potential, I make up for in casual sex.)
    I'm not going to lie, you can still look for That One, but you can learn a different value to the men in your life, and they type of man you need to be with.
    (Men, before you grind your teeth for being treated like meat here, remember, I'm advocating casual sex! Yaaaah..)

  7. #7
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Long distance relationships

    I'm in one right now.

    Granted, mine is long distance due to him working on a mine site in some really small town in the "outback". He works there for 2-3 weeks straight (yes, every day or night depending on the shift he is doing)... then gets 7-10 (maybe 14 if he's really lucky) days straight "off".

    Whilst I may only have gotten one night out of the 10 days he had off. It was great.

    I like this one alot too (I wouldn't say love as I'm totally in lust with him more than anything right now) so that is why I'm willing to give this a go. Besides, he wants to invest in a property on the Gold Coast eventually... so... he might spend more time here after all.

    We'll just have to see.

    LDRs can definately suck at times however it depends on whether you are willing to give it a go or not. I am. It isn't like I have plenty of other options. It took near 2 years to find this one.. I'm not about to toss him aside.

    Besides... I'm still having fun. As soon as I don't find this fun anymore.. then I'll think about it.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Long distance relationships

    awwww...Vy....I'm sorry to hear of the trouble.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  9. #9
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: Long distance relationships

    aww.. im so sorry to hear.

    But your a gorgeous girl, dont let it get you down too much. Because your guy will be out looking for you while you try and get over the current guy!!!

  10. #10
    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Long distance relationships

    But your a gorgeous girl
    understatement
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

  11. #11
    God/dess Malibu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Long distance relationships

    Long distance relationships are not easy. I spent one year apart from my (now ex) boyfriend and it was going very well up until 2 weeks before the end of the time period. Only very recently did we decide to make it a permanent split and it hurts my heart to think about it.

    Personally, I think that when you are apart from someone for a long time, it can become easy to lose sight of the importance of the relationship. I only really understood what that meant when I saw him again at the end which was too late.

    I think it's a real tough testing experience to a relationship and, in my case, can highlight the important and weak elements in a couple such as trust, motivation, etc.
    You are the envy
    of all parallel lines that
    dream of curves and convergence
    - Sara Bailey: Sieve of Words

  12. #12
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Long distance relationships

    Deogol, there are no interesting nerds around my way...I wish. lol

    Madmaxine, I think I know what you mean...lol. I tried to at least use him for sex only, but I just couldn't. I got emotionally attached. After I told him how I felt, I was hoping he's say he moved to the east coast since he said he did like it.

    GoldCoastGirl, see I was thinking the same thing too...if I should've just kept on with the go. But the whole thing just confused me too, I don't know if I did the right thing. I told him that I really do enjoy being around him, but after he leaves....I miss him like crazy. And that's the feeling I hate, what's missing. This wasn't easy. Good luck with yours though, hopefully you don't look at my situation as a down side for you.

    Tampa, thank you princess. So are you((wink wink)) xoxo

    Thanks Monkey

    Malibu, I couldn't agree with you more about the trust situation. I trusted mine, but I just don't know how long this could've kept going. It was just a whole confused mess I tell you.

  13. #13
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Long distance relationships

    A very wise woman told me that people come into your life for a reason and a season. Down the road, it might be apparent why this relationship turned out the way it did. Meanwhile, your life will still be moving right along. Love/ lust has a way of making us forget, in the happiest sense, about all the dull and hard tasks that await us everyday. "School? It's great, 'cause I'm in LOVE! Mopping the floor? It's fun, 'cause I'm in LOVE! Feed the dog? Hi Puppy, guess what? I'm in LOVE!"
    But............when love goes away, the same life awaits us, for us to handle all alone. Some can hack it better than others. But, the best part to learning to be content by one's self is instead of mulling over all the complications that a partner brings to your life, you can concentrate on building your life up to be the place you want to be at. And better yet, when you start meeting people who want to become part of your life, you'll see the same positives in others, and be willing to understand differences. "Happy with career? Me too. Likes the same hobbies? Great. Reads the same books/ likes the same music....????" Your world will grow. And then you'll be ready for someone who really truly is right for you.

  14. #14
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Long distance relationships

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine
    A very wise woman told me that people come into your life for a reason and a season. Down the road, it might be apparent why this relationship turned out the way it did. Meanwhile, your life will still be moving right along. Love/ lust has a way of making us forget, in the happiest sense, about all the dull and hard tasks that await us everyday. "School? It's great, 'cause I'm in LOVE! Mopping the floor? It's fun, 'cause I'm in LOVE! Feed the dog? Hi Puppy, guess what? I'm in LOVE!"
    But............when love goes away, the same life awaits us, for us to handle all alone. Some can hack it better than others. But, the best part to learning to be content by one's self is instead of mulling over all the complications that a partner brings to your life, you can concentrate on building your life up to be the place you want to be at. And better yet, when you start meeting people who want to become part of your life, you'll see the same positives in others, and be willing to understand differences. "Happy with career? Me too. Likes the same hobbies? Great. Reads the same books/ likes the same music....????" Your world will grow. And then you'll be ready for someone who really truly is right for you.
    Wow, this was great. She's absolutely right too. Thanks Maxi, that was nice for me to read.

  15. #15
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Long distance relationships

    Madmaxine is very right. That's how I now approach every relationship... I take it day by day now. The reason I want to give mine a go is because I have had quite a long time between relationships and in that time abstained from sex (or even dating) for a decent period as well (where is that "born again virgin" thread I started AGES ago on the old board? LOL!).

    I realised the place my last relationship held for me and learnt alot from it (in hindsight). I learnt what I wanted in a fella basically. Then Mt Isa Boy came along. We definately have the chemistry. As far as I know he has no problems with my dancing (goodness! he was a customer LOL!)... due to the information I've gathered in the conversation I had with him in Mt Isa then the one between himself, a co-worker and myself the morning we had to check-out of the hotel..... I've discovered a few things about him that I want in a possible "something more" partner (I'm quite happy with us being sex toys/lovers for now tho').

    I built myself up so that I don't need him. I did miss him terribly for the few days after (and yes it does suck too I agree) due to having such a damn great time when he was here. Then I went on with my life (I deal with it good now). This is why I can survive this LDR... I have my own life.

    I'm also hoping on him working for 2-3 weeks so that I can do any travelling in that period without any dramas (as such).... esp. for work.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  16. #16
    Newbie VinnyDaCrumb's Avatar
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    Default Re: Long distance relationships

    I've done the whole LDR. I lived in Jersey all my life started talking to this girl that lived here in Cali. We started "dating" even though we never kissed held hands or anything before. Almost 2 years later I moved to Cali because of her and the career I wanted to start. I never cheated on her, never went on a date or anything like that. I would go out to he clubs and bars with my buddies. Usually danced by myself but always had fun cause I was with my good friends. Let me tell you those were 2 hardest years of my life. I couldnt touch her, kiss her or do all the things I wanted to do for her. My phone and cell phone bills were about 2k a month! We talked every night on the phone almost 6-8 hours, it was as I had a second full-time job. Thats when I decided it was time to do something about it. I quit my job packed my stuff up and drove cross country to start my life here. Well after being in Cali for a year I am no longer with her, its funny how you really don't know someone untill you live with them. But now my career is starting and well I am ready for a new part of my life to start. I know its long and I was rambling but its just good to hear that there are people put there who know the situation your going through! Keep rocking Vy! Just go out have fun and the right person will fall right into your lap!

    Vin

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