Results 1 to 24 of 24

Thread: boyfriend wants to come to work...

  1. #1
    Senior Member grace's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    142
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    boyfriend wants to come to work...

    My boy asked me if he could come to the club while I was working and see what it was like. I'm not totally alarmed -- he's not a jealous guy, and I believe him when he says he's just curious -- but I really wonder if this is a good idea.

    We've been together almost a year, and he's been very supportive since I started dancing a few months ago. Sometimes it's a bit annoying that he finds my job "sexy" since I usually come home pretty tired and just want to veg out and sleep, not have sex. But other than that, we haven't had any tension about my job.

    I trust him not to do anything wierd if he were at the club, though I'm not sure he'd actually enjoy the experience of seeing me work -- I give high-contact lapdances and am very flirtatious with customers. I think I'm more worried about his presence throwing me off. It might be hard to work with him -- or anyone I knew from outside the club -- watching me.

    Anyway, I know none of you knows me or my boyfriend and can't say for sure what would happen. But...has anybody else had this experience though? And what happened?

  2. #2
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Home
    Posts
    13,598
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 28 Times in 23 Posts

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    I would have to say "no". It's one thing to watch you dance in an amateur contest and still another to watch you work a roomful of guys...

    I've also felt "ill" at the thought of having Scorpio come and watch me dance...and we've been together for a while and have a toddler together...there's not much I'll keep from him...but dancing...at work is one of the things I feel is best left to his imagination.

  3. #3
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    A situation fraught with peril, lol...

    Almost always a bad idea, but it can be pulled off, if and only of he really does have a good grip on the jealousy issue.

    I have twice got women I was dating jobs in a full-nude, full-contact stripclub in Florida, and since I was well-known there-actually an ex-employee who still subbed for sick DJs, etc., I was always welcome and knew everyone there pretty well. In the first woman's case the VIP section was still ranged all around the outside walls and clearly visible, so I actually witnessed her giving a lap-dance on more than one occasion. Sometimes it bothered me, so I left, sometimes it didn't even phase me, and sometimes I actually thought it was funny.

    In the second case I was really in love with the woman, and I am glad they had an actual closed off VIP room, as I'm sure it would have been an unpleasant sight.

    They both liked it when I came in to see them, but only because i didn't hang around too long, and generally because it was when it was slower, and they were glad to take a break.

    The woman I am living with now prefers me not to come see her, as it would throw her off, which I can understand.

    By far the best way to do this, that I have seen with boyfriends/husbands who could control their jealousy, is to have the guy come in a little while before closing.

  4. #4
    tampafldancer
    Guest

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    yea. I would never let my so visit me. It would make me feel really really weird for him to see me working a crowded room.
    Like venus, i dont mind him seeing me at amateur nights, but its totally different at a club. I'd feel kinda "sick" too.

  5. #5
    Veteran Member MisfitBunnie's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    278
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    NO NO NO! DO NOT LET HIM! It will throw you off horribly! You will not hustle as much or at all because you'll be distracted by him!

    I had my man come into the club and he is the jealous type. I had to end dances a couple of times because he would practically be over my shoulder glaring at me. Sometimes towards the end of my shift, when I know he would be walking in any minute to pick me up, that I would turn down dances because I knew he would come in and stare me down.

    I wouldn't recommend it. Even my boyfriend liked seeing me on stage but he HATED see me give guys lapdances.
    "And Bill, lamenting how you never see a positive drug story on the news..."Today, a young man on acid realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration and that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and you are the imagination of yourself. Here's Tom with the weather...!"- Bill Hicks, The Greatest Comedian Ever!

  6. #6
    Featured Member scorpio's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    868
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    Oh please. Having as many dancer friends as we do, and having an ex as a dancer (who I saw at the club all the time) I am pretty jaded with the whole stripping thing. As a good friend of mine once said "they're just tits"

    now, If YOU are the one who's uncomfortable, that's one thing. As for me, I'd love to watch you dance. Believe me, I wouldn't be looking at or thinking of the customer, but rather how sexy you look!

  7. #7
    madmaxine
    Guest

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    No, don't do it. Not even for shoots and giggles. I learned the hard way. Men are more sensitive than they let on.
    I'll never forget when I worked in Guam (a "full-contact" island) the top dancer's man came into the bar. I couldn't believe he came in- our bar was infamous, if you get my drift. He sat at the bar and refused to look at the stage when his girl was on, or when she was sitting with customers.

  8. #8
    Veteran Member livenudegirlsunite's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    506
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 8 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    Do not let your boyfriend see you at work. It is our job to flirt with guys. He will not be ok with watching his girlfriend flirt with a bunch of guys even though it is your job.
    You could go with him as a customer yourself to another club in town, but never let him see you work.
    Most people prefer to believe their leaders are just and fair even in the face of evidence to the contrary, because once a citizen acknowledges that the government under which they live is lying and corrupt, the citizen has to choose what he or she will do about it. - M Rivero

  9. #9
    naomisantos77
    Guest

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    Hmm maybe it isn't a good idea to let him come to see you... but it depends the man. If he loves you he will accept what you are doing....i think he will feel proud when you are dancing

    My boyfriend is the son of the owner so he grow up with it
    Of course there are always's people who ask him if he doesn't have a problem with that
    but he just answer that he knows who i am and that he trust me!
    I made the choice to be a dancer and for me it is not so difficult to work while my boyfriend is in the club....only when i make lap dances i feel sometimes uncomfortable. and i never dance for one of his friends or people he know.

  10. #10
    Senior Member rkcrox's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    140
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    From experience, I'd say no...excuse me, no way in hell! My SO insisits he's not the jealous type, but I think most guys are when their girlfriend is parading around naked trying to seduce other men for their wallets. I have had numerous occasions turn out bad, this was when I first started. I'll give you a couple of examples #1: they run out of $ and want to drink away your tips #2: they start to get the illusion that because you're flirting for your job, that any/all other women (dancers/customers) are fair game for the same, and it can get carried away. Just my two pennies, but I have yet to see (okay maybe once) a boyfriend come into the club and be completely okay about it, no matter what they say.

  11. #11
    Featured Member GnBeret's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    796
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    Bad idea - "knowing it" and "seeing it" are two different things. That said, now that he's let you know he's curious, you may not be able to hold him off on this one - in fact, you may be better off not trying to hold him off, 'cause if he's really curious your "no" may start to make him wonder over time. If it starts to look like that's where it's going, either have him come in 15-20 minutes before you're planning on leaving, and don't engage in any business at all - just hang out with him; or... make arrangements with a "regular" in advance and put on a very restrained "show" for him while he's there. In any event, the one thing you absolutely don't want to happen is for him to hang around for any length of time while you're working... like I said, "knowing it" and "seeing it" are two different things.
    "That's your answer Old Man? I guess you're a Hard Case too...."
    - Luke
    "Some men, you just can't reach...."
    - Boss, re Luke

    If there's one thing in my life these years have taught me,
    it's that you can always see it coming, but you can never stop it.
    -Cowboy Junkies

  12. #12
    Banned Blade's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    The Road To Hell
    Posts
    5,171
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    I've worked with Dea in almost every club we've ever worked in and I have no problem with what she does for a living.
    If I was a different kinda guy, who knows
    Therefore its my opinion you shouldn't let him come see you at work.

  13. #13
    Featured Member Muyaha's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    los angeles, ca
    Posts
    1,431
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    Yeah I thinkl both Blade and Scorpio are the ideal when it comes to being a SO of a dancer and working with them at the SC, but unfortunately they are not the majority.

    I may have many faults, but being wrong ain't one of them.

  14. #14
    God/dess
    Joined
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Phoenix is home, work in Upper Midwest Boonies
    Posts
    3,274
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 107 Times in 61 Posts

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    I have a view that kind of differs with everyone else.

    I feel to have a solid relationship a boyfriend/husband should have a totla understanding of the strip club business.

    My fiancee' goes in clubs randomly where I work but we don't talk unless I can slip by him as if he were a customer. He just observes the floor and how the money is flowing in the club. He also scopes out new clubs for me to work in.

    But ultimately IF your guy is not taught the reality of this business he WILL come in the club and instead of understanding that each customer to you is like selling an article of clothing in a department store to a salesclerk, he may feel that you have sexual attractions with your customers.

    Has your boyfriend patronized strip clubs much so that he understands what goes on?

    I am not saying he should be in the VIP room watching you give a contact lap dance. He needs to know that customers like to feel that you are single and that he must act like he does not know you in the club or he will mess up your money.

    And he needs to know that he should not make a regular habit of coming in the club and that the club staff not know he is involved with you.

    I just feel that if a boyfriend/husband understands the ropes, and has become realistic and realizes there is no need for jealousy, that your financial success is as much his as his success at his job is yours, that your relationship will be stronger in the end.

    WHEN he goes in the club and not if, and you haven't broken things down to him the situation could be bad. An informed mind is much better than an uninformed one, isn't it?

  15. #15
    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Boston MA
    Posts
    5,670
    Thanks
    35
    Thanked 144 Times in 74 Posts

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    I feel to have a solid relationship a boyfriend/husband should have a totla understanding of the strip club business.
    Sadly, this is the exception rather than the rule. Very few Blades and Scorpios out there.

    Myself, it wouldn't be a big deal, since I have a slight voyeuristic streak to me (OK, that's not true--it's a serious voyeuristic streak), but I can't imagine that most men fall in that category or understand how their mere presence in the SC could impact her comfort level and thus her earning performance.

    If he's curious how it all works, he could just go to any other club and see the same thing without creating an issue. Or is that too obvious a solution?

    Two cents.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  16. #16
    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    1,146
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    Eh, it could end up like that other girl on here, the bf going to a much seedier club and being appalled.
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

  17. #17
    Veteran Member Prina's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    377
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    I guess let him go it he wants to see. BUT make sure he doesn't keep coming in. I had problems. It was annoying and hurting my money. Always the same rap..."You can ignore me..I know you need to make money." It's like why they hell do you NEED to come in when I'm working..ANNOYING!!!!!

    sorry..i had bad experiences with this..

  18. #18
    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    at the Y
    Posts
    10,035
    Thanks
    2,878
    Thanked 5,834 Times in 2,332 Posts
    My Mood
    Goofy

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    The problem is that the only way your going to find out if he can handle "the truth" or not is to try it and see what hapens. He may be fine with it-I doubt this, or he may freak and you lose either his trust or the entire relationship. I have a couple of close friends who dance. I can't be in the club when they are working and these are women I haven't even been intimate with. I can't imagine, knowing what I know about SC's, wanting to visit a club when my SO was working. Yeah, theyre just tits, unless they are attached to someone you actualy care about.
    Last edited by yoda57us; 10-17-2004 at 06:26 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  19. #19
    Senior Member voodoo's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    169
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    For me and my BF I don't think it would be a big deal. We've gone to SC together and he's come with me to auditions before so he knows how it works. He also knows exactly how I feel about customers (and just random people that hit on me outside the club) because I bitch about my job when I get home. He knows that it's just a way to make money for me and he knows that I treat it like acting. I get paid to put on a show and that includes flirting with guys and light contact. He's not the jealous type at all, so I think I would be safe.

    As for you it just depends on how serious you are about the job and your SO. If you're really serious about both you might not want to jepordize it and have it come down to and ultimatum. I would let him come in for a little bit at the end of your shift and downplay your hustle. Don't flirt hardcore just act nice to the customer with minimal touching and whatnot (glance over at your bf so he knows you're thinking of him). If you sell a couple dances while he's there, fine, if you don't then don't worry about it. This is your relationship we're talking about. You don't need to worry about being "off your game" for 30 minutes while he's there if it means he's not going to have a problem with you dancing.

    If he knows how the SC scene works then there should be no problems, but if he has any of the stereotypes (strippers are prostitutes, they date customers, if a guy pays enough money you'll go out with him, etc.) then it might not. I make up a completely different persona for when I'm there and my bf knows it. It's kind of like, why would I want to date a guy that didn't even know my real name?

    hope this helps.

  20. #20
    Senior Member grace's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    142
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    Yeah, I'm not *too* worried about jealousy...I mean, you never know, and plenty of things that are good ideas in theory work out badly in the real world. But this guy has his head on right -- I bitch to him about work sometimes, so he knows pretty much everything that happens in the club and how I feel about it. He's also been to quite a few clubs in his time, and went with me to some to check them out before I started working. He knows strippers aren't prostitutes, and that I dance for money, not love of customers, etc.

    I'm more worried about how I'd feel. I kind of try to seperate myself from my personality at the club. No one, including other dancers, management, or customers, sees what I'd consider the "real me" and I like it that way. Having someone there who knows me really really well would change the whole scene to me.

  21. #21
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2002
    Location
    ...hehehe... email me to ask me where i am ! (i dare you!)
    Posts
    11,486
    Thanks
    42
    Thanked 127 Times in 51 Posts

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    Depends on the guy really. Does he have a voyouristic side to him? Does he know that this is your employment/business and nothing more ? Also, if he isn't the possessive or controlling type (even in the slightest) and understands that you are not YOU (just another version of you) in the SC... then I don't see a problem...

    unless your club has a rule about not allowing boyfriends,husbands and so forth inside the club whilst you are working.

    Instead, go to the club with him on a night you have off... allow him to receive a lap dance or two either by himself or with you... this will allow him to see the club without seeing how you personally operate.

    Actually... do you know his real motivations for wanting to do this? Then based upon that information and what you know about yourself and the club... answer your own question.



    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  22. #22
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Key West
    Posts
    16,343
    Thanks
    1,395
    Thanked 5,487 Times in 2,768 Posts

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tina
    My fiancee' goes in clubs randomly where I work but we don't talk unless I can slip by him as if he were a customer. He just observes the floor and how the money is flowing in the club. He also scopes out new clubs for me to work in.
    This is the only way to do it...

    Whenever I have gone to see anyone I was dating at any club they were working in, I have never approached them, but sat somewhere relatively out of sight, or possibly the bar, and waited for them to come to me at their convenience and discretion. Obvious signs of physical affection should be avoided entirely, though I have been kissed and certainly wouldn't stop it--but it's better by far if potential customers don't get thrown off by it.

    Whenever I have worked with anyone I was seeing it hasn't been a problem. The woman I am currently with I have only worked with for two nights as a DJ (it's a long story but we haven't found a situation up here where we can do this yet), and one when I was doing body-painting--naturally she got the best decoration, lol. On each occasion it was incredibly cool to be a part of her performance.

    From the sounds of things, he'll be able to handle it, but a little goes a long way. Be careful, and good luck.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  23. #23
    Veteran Member Gerina's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2004
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    253
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    My bf stops once in awhile to see me, no prob. It's just annoying that I'm usually running around w/ customers so he doesn't get a chance to spend much time with me, but it's really awesome doing a stage show w/ him in the front row of the audience - so much fun. Really cool to have someone that will be totally honest with you, too, like what you could do to improve your set.

    If it's an issue for you, it's probably a sign that there's something else wrong in the relationship, besides your stripping. My club is high contact and my bf has seen me give dances, but he isn't jealous. Understands it's just work and I'm still all his.
    ...and the day came, when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became worse than the risk it took to blossom.

  24. #24
    Featured Member tragic-beauty's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2002
    Location
    KC
    Posts
    1,150
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: boyfriend wants to come to work...

    I love it when my hubby come in to see me.. its just nice to see a friendly face sometimes. he doesent bug me at all.. and tips me well on stage

Similar Threads

  1. Priorites 1.2. Boyfriend Vs Work
    By bizmor in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 03-27-2011, 11:54 AM
  2. Major crush at work but I have a boyfriend.....
    By kitinboots in forum Life Support
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 01-05-2011, 01:37 AM
  3. Problem at work with ex-boyfriend :(
    By BabyGirlKylie in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-20-2008, 12:22 PM
  4. My boyfriend's work got robbed last night!
    By LexxusLovely in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 11-28-2007, 12:47 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •