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Thread: Was I wrong??

  1. #1
    Member RitzyGlitzy's Avatar
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    Angry Was I wrong??

    Ok ladies, I need your help with something that happened last night. I work with a good friend of mine and we always try and help eachother out with customers at work. Last week and this week has been really bad for our club and none of the girls any money so I was very excited to see on of my regulars come in last night. This gentlemen once took me and my friend into a private room so when he walked into the club last night I was on stage doing my set and my friend motioned him over to her to say hello. When I got off the stage I saw that they were sitting together and talking so I casually waved hello to him and walked to another customer. A few minutes later I saw him get up and walk away from my friend and walk over to the bar so I walked over to him. As soon as I came up to him he suggested we go to a private room. This guy usually likes to spend a few hours in the private room so after the first hour I told him I'd be right back. I went to locker room and saw my friend sitting there really upset. I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing. I figured she was upset because the club was kind of slow last night so I suggested she walk by our room (all the private rooms are out in the open just in a more quite section of the club) and maybe this guy will want her to come in. That was when she flipped out on me and started yelling that if I wanted her come in I would have come over to them while they were talking and that would have been how he would have purchased a half hour from her as well. (the way the club works is it's 200 for a half hour in the private room plus tip or 400 for an hr plus tip) I was stunned that she even said that to me because if anything I'm the one who is constantly helping her out. Anytime I get a customer into a private room I always suggest that he takes her and the 3 of us can go and usually guys agree to that. I was just so stunned last night by her because I never would have expected her to say that. It took a lot for me to just walk way and not give her a piece of my mind because she flipped and was yelling at me. What saved me from stooping to her level was that this guy was there waiting for me. Sorry for the long post but I really needed to vent.

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    God/dess kryssy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    I too have been in this situation, however I have been on your friends side also. While, I don't agree with the way that she handled it, I don't agree with what you did either. This man was standing at the bar waiting for a drink, right? She was speaking with this customer first, than he asked you for dances, and you just went to the VIP with him. I think that if she was your friend, than you could've said something to her, before going back with him. Sometimes just saying "This customer invited me back to the VIP room". I think that this would've stopped the whole thing in the dressing room.

    You also, have to remember, that if ya'll tend to work as a team, than she might have assumed that you both was going to go back with this customer. (I know tht it is not good to assume anything, but if this is what normally happens than I would've assumed it)

    In my honest opinion a friendship is not worth losing over a customer. Try to talk to this girl one on one. Explain your side and listen to her side of it. Try to see both sides of the story here.

  3. #3
    Member ccgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    wow... that sucks. my opinion? don't feel bad. he greatly prefers you and he made that clear. she's just jealous and i'm guessing that you're either more attractive or have better game than she does and it sounds like she's living a bit in your shadow. after a slow couple of weeks that can get to a girl.

    i always have thought it wise to be careful when imposing a friend on a customer. most men don't like feeling like ATMs. it sounds like he has plenty of money and if he had really enjoyed having the 2 of you together, he would have asked for that again. i mean, he asked for you so it's not like he's shy. maybe you *could* have talked him into it. but *should* you be selling YOUR CUSTOMER something he's already tried and obviously wasn't really into? you are there to make money for yourself and it's great that you're trying to help your friend out but maybe you should save this particular part of the hustle for guys just passing through.

    as far as selling your customer, if your friend had been worth her salt she would have watched you on stage with him, made some sexy comments and suggested the three of you go back together, and maybe grabbed you the second you got off stage. it's not your fault if she didn't do something to make the sale.

    i personally think she owes you an apology. maybe you guys should work out a system, assuming you wanna stay friends with her.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    It seems to me that if he really wanted to "spend time" with your friend, he would have taken the opportunity to invite her back to VIP while he was sitting with her. The fact that right after you walked up to him at the bar he invited you back is pretty glaring that he had no intention of inviting her back.

    Quit feeling sorry for her and realize that in this business, she's gonna need to learn how to swim. It seems to me that your friend is "depending" on you to make money. She's either going to have to learn how to tread the water by herself...or she's gonna go under.

    Her getting angry at you that YOUR regular invited YOU back and not HER is of no importance. I personally think that she realizes that she's not doing much without your help and is angry...both at herself for not being able to "swim" on her own and also at you for not babying her and holding her up.

    Maybe talk with her and help her with her game...but explain that you cannot always be there to help her make money. It's the way the business is...

  5. #5
    Member ccgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    wait... did i misunderstand? he was just walking to the bar for a drink? i thought he had moved seats and that he was done with your friend. in my club we have waitresses who bring the drinks and so it's uncommon for a guy to go to the bar unless he's gonna be hanging out there. and in my club, guys will sometimes go to the bar to get away from girls who have latched onto them.

    i can see why she'd be upset if she thinks you swiped him. but still...

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    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    my 5 cents...


    Your both wrong about it being your customer.The client belongs to the club.If the client decides he wants a blond one night and a redhead the next,
    oh well for the blondes.Tough chit.
    he is paying,he decides what he wants.
    If a shit storm erupts because he wants a redhead,or some girl has latched onto him and he cant get her off,chances are EVERYONE looses him as a customer.

    Its like hitchhiking across the world.When someone gives you a ride,enjoy the ride while it last.When the ride is over,get out with a smile and a thank you,then get your thumb out there and get another ride.


    Something else sticks out in your post.The word friend and how you described the event.

    If this is your friend,dont ever let a customer come between you.You said you two work well together on the floor .Why toss away a friendship and a good working relationship over a customer that you prob wont know in two years.

    In the heat of battle things are sometimes said that shouldnt be.
    Dont lose someone who is a friend to you in the trenches over something like this.

    Hug,kiss,buy each other candles.watch oprah.go out to breakfast together,whatever it is that you female types do when friends have a spat.
    It sounds like the friendship part is your biggest rant and your feelings have been hurt.

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    Featured Member Crystal_eyes's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    Your friend as no reason to be upset cause if he wanted her he would have brought her in the VIP not u ! She's just jealous and mad because she taught she could get a customer !

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    Veteran Member MisfitBunnie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    I wouldn't sweat it. That girl needs to learn that this is the "every woman for herself" kind of buisness. It's a hussle, a competition, a game. She needs to learn it, and learn it quick. I learned that real quick when I started dancing.
    "And Bill, lamenting how you never see a positive drug story on the news..."Today, a young man on acid realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration and that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and you are the imagination of yourself. Here's Tom with the weather...!"- Bill Hicks, The Greatest Comedian Ever!

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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    Sorry, but if you're going to work in this business, you have to be able to accept stuff like this happening. You are not obligated to make sure she makes money, even if she is your friend.

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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    Wrong for what, is my question? You did the right thing by not stooping to her level because she was jealous. If, the guy wanted her, he would of taken her to the VIP room or whatever. If I were you I'd just realize that you are there to make money- not help the other girls make money as well. Its very kind of you to do that and it says alot about your character.

    But I have learned in my 10 years of dancing that you have to be picky about who you want to be actual friends with and who you just have a work-relationship with. By that I mean, at work its hi, bye, hows it going, and that sort of thing. But beyond that there is no expectations or feelings of entitlement for you to always help them out. Be choosy about who you take under your wing girlfriend!

    Also, I think she owes you an apology and if you don't get one then you know her true colors.

    Hope this helps!
    Shannon
    Everyone is a self made person, but only the successful admit it!

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    Featured Member bambiblue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    I think big greene is right! I personally keep my friendships seperate from buisness. If he asked YOU when he obviously had the opportunity to ask her and you, than how can you be blamed for that?

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    Gotta agree with my fellow dj on this one...except for the whole watching Oprah thing

  13. #13
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    Quote Originally Posted by bambiblue
    I think big greene is right! I personally keep my friendships seperate from buisness. If he asked YOU when he obviously had the opportunity to ask her and you, than how can you be blamed for that?
    this is a prime example why i do the same. Too much drama. I do not need friends at work.

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    Member RitzyGlitzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    Quote Originally Posted by BigGreenMnM
    my 5 cents...


    Your both wrong about it being your customer.The client belongs to the club.If the client decides he wants a blond one night and a redhead the next,
    oh well for the blondes.Tough chit.
    he is paying,he decides what he wants.
    I
    completely agree with you on this one. The client belongs to the club and that's why I never made a big stink about it when I got off the stage. I waved hello and I walked away. I felt it would have been very rude for me to go over and start talking to them since neither one of them made a gesture for me to join them. Given, I wasn't jumping for joy because I thought he would start buying dances from her but at the same I was glad that it was my friend that he was with and say another girl that I didn't like.

    Quote Originally Posted by ccgirl

    wait... did i misunderstand? he was just walking to the bar for a drink? i thought he had moved seats and that he was done with your friend. in my club we have waitresses who bring the drinks and so it's uncommon for a guy to go to the bar unless he's gonna be hanging out there.
    We also have waitresses at my club and that is why I found it kind of odd that he got up to go to the bar instead of sitting there. Plus, like I said the club has been pretty slow so it's not like there's a shortage of attention.


    I was just so stunned last night about happened last night. I never expected that from her, I've never been friends with any of the girls outside the club. I've known this girl for over a year now and this is someone who has been to my house for dinner, she came to birthday and met my parents. That how much I trusted her. Unless she approaches me first and I'm not even saying for her to apologize I have no intentions of speaking to her. I'm all for sisterhood and all that other good stuff but I also have pride.

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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess
    It seems to me that if he really wanted to "spend time" with your friend, he would have taken the opportunity to invite her back to VIP while he was sitting with her. The fact that right after you walked up to him at the bar he invited you back is pretty glaring that he had no intention of inviting her back.
    I think VG is correct on this one. I was always one to bring in other girls especially if they did the same for me- it's basicaly networking -- but from what you've posted here it sounds like the customer got the dancer of his choice at the time.

    Susan made an excellant point here too:

    You are not obligated to make sure she makes money, even if she is your friend.
    Besides a true friend would have been happy for you that you got a vip, maybe sad for herself, but not mad at you. Maybe she was just having a really bad day- give her another shot but if she pulls that kind of stuff again, cut your losses.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    I had almost the same situation last night... Thurseday a customer walked *away* from the dancer who was clinging to him, approached me by the DJ booth, and I was lapdancing for him within minutes. I thought I was being nice, because I asked him how long he'd been sitting with that girl and made him save his last twenty for a dance with her. See if I do that again. She ran to the manager, housemom, DJ, floorguy, etc., and told them that I stole her customer.

    Then last night, a customer I've done rooms with before came in. I was with another customer, and when I got done dancing for him this same girl was sitting with "my" customer. No biggie. I actually thought she probably could get a room out of him. But no, she just sits there... and sits there... and sits there. Finally he walked away from her and came up to me and wanted a room. I asked about the other girl and he told her he'd gone to the bathroom. I was like, "oh no, you're going to have to extract yourself from her, I have enough problems with her already." So he went back and waited her out. She actually sat there for two hours without making any money. As soon as she left, I plunked myself down and was in a room five minutes later.

    This business is sink or swim. If they can't hustle, they need to get outta the way.

    Lena



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    Veteran Member Sparkell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was I wrong??

    Quote Originally Posted by bambiblue
    I think big greene is right! I personally keep my friendships seperate from buisness. If he asked YOU when he obviously had the opportunity to ask her and you, than how can you be blamed for that?
    I Agree...


    "If You Harbor Bitterness, Happyness Will Dock Elsewere"

    Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
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    All you need is ONE person to have a $1000 night in Vegas.
    Quote Originally Posted by holiday View Post
    Yep. And if you never find him, you can still make $900 while you look .

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