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Thread: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

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    Member laree's Avatar
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    Default HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    OH MY GOD. I had typed the perfect message earlier, and when I tried to post it, it got lost somehow. I've taken another stab at it, but this one's a lot less consise and much more incoherent. Stay with me, though. I need all the help I can get.

    The bottom line is that I'm having problems responding to guys who wanna see me outside the club. Often, I'll take their number, and that will be the end of it. Sometimes I give out a fake number to guys that won't shut up, especially if they're from out of town. But with guys I see at work repeatedly, it becomes harder and harder to come up with excuses. I'll say, "I've just met you. I like to know I can trust a guy." or "I meet so many guys in here that ask me out that seem like decent people that if I agreed to see them all, I would'nt have time to breathe. But he'll say, "Well, how many times to I have to come in here before you'll trust me?" "How can I get the chance to know you better?"

    Should I just tell them that I just don't meet customers outside the club? Even if I did, I'm sure some guys would still harrass me about seeing me somewhere... "I'm different. I'm trustworthy. Let's go to dinner." "I feel like we really connect." Most of it's complete bullshit. But sometimes, a guy I've talked to quite a bit will start to really give me the impression that he has feelings for me. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's true. Usually these are lonely pathetic guys that I can't help feeling a bit sorry for. I'm a good conversationalist and sometimes feel this is to my disadvantage. Not to seem conceited, but I'm not at all surprised when a guy is really impressed by me and starts to see me as more than just a stripper. And I don't fucking wanna date these guys!? So whats a girl to do? How do I get around this without it ending up like a personal rejection to them? What do I say? Sometimes I wish I were more of a flake so the guys would think of me more as an object and not as a potential girlfriend. I mean, I have NO problem with men objectifying me. I say that's my job. I make no bones about being a STRIPPER.

    So I'm not comfortable with regulars. It depends on the club, though, how much of a problem it becomes. The club I first started working at, it was never that much of an issue. But lately I've been hopping club to club to get away stalkers with whom I've run out of excuses. The club I'm at now doesn't do a lot of business, but the guys that come in usually have quite a bit of money. But, so many of the girls there will meet the guys for dinner or something, to keep them coming in. That just seems like too much of a mess for me to want to get into. I did meet a guy for dinner once whom I really trusted and had been my customer for months, but it was terribly uncomfortable. And I can't believe that doesn't get incredibly sticky. What guy isn't gonna expect sex after something like that? Just another mess I don't wanna deal with. Plus, I'm sure a lot of the girls who do this do a lot of extra shit, no matter how many times they deny it.

    I have a boyfriend of two years who I've always been faithful to. Should I just cut all the madness off at the source by telling the guys I'm taken? I really feel like this would cut in to my money. I've even thought of telling the guys I'm a lesbian and that I have a girlfriend, as I'm sure this would open doors for lots of fantasies, and it would be an individual rejection of a guy, but instead the whole gender. I'm sure I'd still get harrassed about dating them anyway, but at least I'd have a solid excuse I could stick to - that I don't do dick. Although, this would have to be a throughly thought out lie, complete with all sorts of stories.

    Some of the girls I've talked to just lie, lie, lie. They'll agree to meet the guy for dinner, taking some money from them to set the date, and completely set them up. If the guy comes back and asks about it, they'll have an excuse like their fuel-pump went out, or they had to pick up their son, or whatever. But having to do that kind of lying would just stress me out more than ever, I'm sure.

    I'm not good with confrontation, and no matter what occupation I'm in, I'll stress myself out trying to keep people happy. Stripping is no exception, and dealing with all this madness burns me out pretty quickly. And while I have somewhat prefabricated responses to the questions I get most frequently, I'm starting to think they need a makeover, because I'm still having the same problem over and over. Any advice? I would REALLY REALLY appreciate some insight. I really like stripping, but if I can't somehow get around this problem, I'll never be able to work consistently. I always end up quitting for months at a time.

    Thanks for any help.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    Act like more of a flake. Laugh and tell them, "you know I'm just a tease," or "your a smart man... I know your not looking for a girlfreind at a strip club."

    Or tell them that it's a secret, you don't want every one to know cause it would hurt your image, but your married.

    Lena



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    Featured Member FONDL's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    It sounds to me (a regular customer) that you attract regulars because you're very friendly and open. Why not continue your openness and tell them the truth - that you have a BF and don't go out with other guys. Personally, it doesn't bother me at all when a dancer tells me that she's taken. In fact, I find it flattering that she's willing to share something about her personal life with me. And we usually end up having interesting conversations about our respective families. But then I'm older. Maybe you're problem is that you spend to much time with guys your own age. Older customers are usually easier to deal with.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    Member laree's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    Actually, I will always spend time with an older customer over a younger guy. Younger guys are typically ridiculous assholes who "don't have to pay for it". But you're right on, though, it is the customers who skew slightly younger, 30-40, who usually give me the problems. I'll bet could get away with filling older guys in on my relationship status, though their usually the last to ask. But they DO make the best regulars. Thanks for the inside opinion.

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    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    A guy that only buys dances from you to get you to go out with him is not going to be a regular customer anyway. As soon as you turn him down-for whatever reason-he will move on to another dancer. There are PLENTY of men who go to clubs to blow off steam for a few hours and have no interest in looking for dates. I agree with FONDL, look for older guys, we are MUCH easier to deal with, generaly have more disposable cash and most of the the time we are just looking for someone to make us feel special for an hour or two before we go back to our wonderfull, stress filled lives in the real world.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Featured Member Destiny's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us
    A guy that only buys dances from you to get you to go out with him is not going to be a regular customer anyway. As soon as you turn him down-for whatever reason-he will move on to another dancer. There are PLENTY of men who go to clubs to blow off steam for a few hours and have no interest in looking for dates. I agree with FONDL, look for older guys, we are MUCH easier to deal with, generaly have more disposable cash and most of the the time we are just looking for someone to make us feel special for an hour or two before we go back to our wonderfull, stress filled lives in the real world.
    Another benefit to older customers is that a higher percentage of them are married. The married ones are less likely to ask you out.
    Dancing is wonderful training for girls, it's the first way you learn to guess what a man is going to do before he does it. ~Christopher Morley, Kitty Foyle

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    Senior Member grace's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    [QUOTE=laree]

    I'm not good with confrontation, and no matter what occupation I'm in, I'll stress myself out trying to keep people happy. Stripping is no exception, and dealing with all this madness burns me out pretty quickly.
    [QUOTE]

    Well, now is as good an opportunity as any to get over this. As a dancer what you offer is dancing, some ammount of conversation, and whatever degree of nudity/contact your club allows. You should do all this to the best of your ability. But you aren't there to date, and any reasonable customer knows this. It's not your duty, in the club or in life, to fulfill people's unreasonable expectations.

    As to HOW to say no, I think you've convered the most common ways. Saying you're a lesbian seems to be popular, and it's a turn-on for lots of guys, so if you want to play it up and be sexy about it, it might work well for you. But I think the "lesbian escuse" also used enough that savvier guys know it's suspect.

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    Veteran Member goldclubbing's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    Act like you give a shit about him being there...most guys just want some attention. Tell him you dont see customers outside the club eventhough you know girls who do, but you enjoy seeing him while your working and if he gives you his number you'll give him a call now and then. And then if the guy is cool with that and doesn't get all dejected you'll know its not about sex and dating but the attention. So call him now and then now that the ground work has been laid...get some drinks, dances, lunch...and maybe a friend....and keep your regular. If he's a creep better to find out sooner than later.

  9. #9
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    I have your problem as well. I do not believe i can come up with an answer to your question.

    But if i could, i would show up to work more then twice a month or so.. Geez, i need to go back to work..

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    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    It seems to me that those of you who are stressing over how to deal with these guys are attaching too much importance to losing the business of a guy who was going to be a relatively short term investment anyway. If it's a date the guy wants he's gonna dump you-unless you give him what he wants.
    My retired ATF once gave into a really nice guy who kept asking her out to lunch-just to get to know her better. She agreed to meet him for lunch, had an enjoyable time, no sex was exchanged, but the next time he came into the club he started preaching to her that she was too good to be a dancer, that she should be his girlfriend etc, ect, etc. She rebuffed him and he went from spending $300 or $400 per visit on her to spending nothing.
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

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    Veteran Member ToriBaltimore's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    I just tell them either A. I am taken and incredibly faithful....which doesnt really turn guys off, I still usually end up in VIP or at least getting dances with them regaurdless. Or I say, I cant give you my number Its against club rules. Or I take there number and call them when I am coming into work again in hopes they will return to the club. I find no regulars last forever anyhow..so what have you got to lose by being honest. If he really likes you, he will still be your customer regaurdless.



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    Default Re: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    Just my ......I have had the same problem too in the past. I used to know girls that would go out to dinner n such (sex or no sex I dont know) because they felt ok with that. All of this of couse under the SC's nose. I guess thats they way they personally wanted to operate? No shame in their game.

    Safety Tip: They would always used a separate cell phone to call their regulars in or when they called them. Thats the number they would give out. Put fake names on the account just to make sure.

    Of course them or their money will not last forever. But, when meeting maybe those "potential" regulars treat them like human beings and tell them the truth. The "yes i have a bf and I'm very faithful" sounds just fine as someone else posted. Beside if they REALLY want to see you they will be smart and respect you and come back to the club to see you. These kinds of men are usually older. One of my regulars once drove an hour and a half to see me every week..of course he got the point I would never see him out of the club he left. But, as for the younger under 45 crowd I agree with the previous posts that playing it off flirty telling them "they are too smart to look for a gf at a SC" is great..shit I think I use that one myself.

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    Default Re: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    I don't want the guys in the club to know anything real about me, I wouldn't try to be honest with them.
    I tell guys I have a boyfriend (one I made up) and that he actually works as a male stripper.

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    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    I find a lot of guys ask up front if I have a boyfriend, if I'm not gonna get a dance from them based on that, oh well, next guy. I don't go out of my way to tell them, but if they ask, they get the truth.

    Beyond that, a girl on here used to do something like this:
    dancer: I don't feel comfortable doing that [kissing, going out to dinner, etc] I don't feel like we know each other well enough
    customer: I think we know each other enough
    dancer: did you know [insert random fact here, made up or not, your favorite sexual position, or age you lost your virginity, sexual things work better]?
    customer: . . . no.
    dancer: see? you don't know me enough yet.

    Haven't had occasion to use, but I don't think it served her badly.

    I tell guys "I'm only for here" if they pursue after they know I have a boyfriend.
    Also, if your club serves food, say you'll go to dinner AT YOUR CLUB on a night you aren't working [not my idea, someone else here].

    Or you can always charge a ridiculous amount of money for your time.
    "I still have my name
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    Senior Member Izzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    Laree- wow, I think we were seperated at birth or something. I swear that reading your post sounds it exactly like reading something I wrote myself. scary.

    Thanks everyone for the advice, I need it too


    there's beauty in the breakdown





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    Veteran Member azamber's Avatar
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    Default Re: HELP! Need advice on keeping customers happy without standing them up or escorting.

    I have always had the same problem too, I can't keep a regular because I don't lead them on/lie. There's a guy now who keeps asking me out, but he's spending some decent money on me, and I know if I definitively tell him I'm never going out with him, he won't come back to me. So when I am dancing for him and he's asking me questions, I just smile and keep dancing. But now I have a few new ideas, I especially like crescentluna's advice about "I'm only for here." Simple, honest, direct, and non-offensive. And if I lose a customer, oh well, it's better than pissing one off for lying/leading him on.

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