My girlfriend likes rough sex - I'm all about making sweet love...

[merely_lurking]

I've had this girlfriend for awhile now who has been around the block quite a few times and the sex has been pretty great, but I'm getting kind of tired of how every time we do it, she either wants me to pretend like I'm raping her, or she wants me to bite her or choke her and stuff. I've tried experimenting with some of this stuff, but it leaves me feeling like a piece of shit sometimes, and I can only do it half-heartedly, although I kind of like biting each other some that's alright, but I never seem to do it hard enough for her. And if I do bite her really hard, and it leaves a mark, then she gets pissed that I left a mark. I can't win with her sometimes. I like intense passionate sex and all, but I prefer it to be a loving, sensual experience that brings us together, and I'm not sure it all this violent stuff is very healthy. I know she has been raped a couple of times and was molested by her brother when she was a kid, so she's been through some shit. Also, she was an IV drug user who has been clean about five years. She's kinda crazy, but I tend to be attracted to those kind of women. Has anybody been through a relationship like this, maybe I should get out of it, although we do seem to get along pretty well. Not sure if I should go any further, we seem to break up about every 2 weeks and then get back together again. Very stormy.

[Average_Dude]

If it was me I would take her some where secluded not to confused with sex like home. That way you get no mixed signals and talk about it. Set boundries so you can know how hard is to hard have her hit you/choke you or bit you the way she would want to be done. Relation ships are 50/50 you have to do what gets her off and same with her. Figure time that she is the one turned on and wants sex give it to her the way she wants when your the one turned on get her to give it to you the way you want. This is something you both have to work on. As far as feeling bad don't give it to her and feel good that you satisfied her the way she wanted to.

[SportsWriter2]

If she wants rough sex, she's gonna find it with someone other than you. Playing rough differentiates "real sex" from the molestation she experienced. The need to play rough is overwhelming, You could spend $20K on a psychiatrist to make her understand why she wants it, but she's still going to want it.

If it's not your thing, give her one session she'll remember forever, then walk away.

[merely_lurking]

UPDATE: I just broke up with this girl after 5 months together, and it has been a very difficult relationship to get out of. She started getting really violent and hitting me and throwing shit at me for reasons I couldn't figure out. I was worried that I might lose my temper and end up beating the shit out of her, so I figured I better walk away, which really sucks because when things were going well, it was the most compatible relationship I've ever been in. Back to the drawing board once again....

[Katrine]

.......well I'm sure you won't have trouble finding a crazy bitch in Houston, there's an excess...I recommend checking out my old watering hole Caligula XXI......

{goes to warn all fellow Texas gals that ML is back on the market }

[RoseDelight]

She's been raped and molested? Ah. My heart goes out to her. It sounds like she needs a lot of help, mentally. People seem to go off of what they know. She's 'known' this behaviour for sometime, and now she's reliving it out all again. If people don't get their issues resolved when it happens, It can ruin their relationships/friendships, etc.

Maybe she trades anger/abuse/rough sex for love. If this is what she knows, It'll be hard to break from. And if this is all she knows, She's going to bite off more than she can chew.

[merely_lurking]

I just checked this thread after not being on here for a couple of weeks. I got back together with her but things just keep getting fucked up and I moved out again. I think this is the hardest relationship I've ever had to end because I really love her a lot and I know she loves me, we've been going to counseling and things have been improving in some ways but I feel I have to be her full-time emotional babysitter and it has been wearing on me considerably. Things just suck right now, I'm really in agony over this but know that it has to end. Crappy, crappy, crappy......... I feel like crap right now......

[RoseDelight]

First time, shame on her....Second time, Shame on you.

Best of luck though.

[Moneywise]

First time, shame on her....Second time, Shame on you.

Truer words have never been spoken. Hey ML I feel your pain man. I can remember that sinking feeling I had when I high school girlfriend and I had to break up after he father opened her bedroom door at 6am and found me tapping dat azz. When I say tap I mean serious offshore drilling. Her parents thought I was the best young man around until that morning. It was almost as though the world shifted on its axis. I used to get rides with her and her mom to HS since her mom taught there. Needless to say, I got a lot of early morning cardio work walking to school for awhile. Their car would pass me walking every morning! I should have just done my paper route and gone back home. You know when you get started doing something that feels really good it's difficult to put on the brakes. I hope my little story made you at least grin.

MW

[SportsWriter2]

I feel I have to be her full-time emotional babysitter and it has been wearing on me considerably. Things just suck right now, I'm really in agony over this but know that it has to end.

I feel your pain, ML. I wish pretty girls who like rough sex had an emotions switch that went TURBO.... NORMAL.... OFF. I love TURBO but not all the time.

[merely_lurking]

I feel your pain, ML. I wish pretty girls who like rough sex had an emotions switch that went TURBO.... NORMAL.... OFF. I love TURBO but not all the time.

Hey, that's a really good description of what she's like SW2. She's on TURBO all the time, which can be really exciting at times but when things aren't going well or she's feeling moody, she's breaking stuff and hurling objects at me.... I'll I know is that I have not been getting the necessary amount of sleep.

[SportsWriter2]

I'll I know is that I have not been getting the necessary amount of sleep.

I hope you're catching up now.

I like this title so much, I just wanna keep it on top.

[SportsWriter2]

Funny how after they're gone, you'd almost be willing to accept TURBO again.

[RoseDelight]

Hey, that's a really good description of what she's like SW2. She's on TURBO all the time, which can be really exciting at times but when things aren't going well or she's feeling moody, she's breaking stuff and hurling objects at me.... I'll I know is that I have not been getting the necessary amount of sleep.

Your gf seems interesting.....Hmmm, I kind of like her.

[merely_lurking]

Your gf seems interesting.....Hmmm, I kind of like her.

Yes she is very interesting. She used to dance at an all nude club here in Houston in her early-20's. Now she is living off of her daddy's trust fund and with her spare time comes with clever and inventive schemes to make my life a living hell. Anyway, you can have her.

[RoseDelight]

Woohoo, I'll take her. I am not sure you'll want her back when I am finished though. Has she ever milked a goat? It'll be all down hill from there.

[IACali]

deleted due to... well, none of yer damned business. LOL.

[xdamage]

So fuck her, enjoy the ride while it lasts, and get off before she crashes. Seems pretty simple. Unless you've got some silly idea in your head that your going to straighten her out and she will be forever grateful and fuck your brains out like she is doing now for the rest of your life. Won't happen.

[merely_lurking]

Yeah, we broke up, but were still seeing each other every so often as fuckbuddies. It seemed kind of empty and meaningless at first, but now I'm starting to get used to the arrangement. The sex part was the only thing that was working, so we've tossed out all that extraneous relationship stuff that got in the way.

[SportsWriter2]

deleted due to... well, none of yer damned business. LOL.

The blue brothers will always let you put wild stuff up and take it down without quoting you. We love you, Cali.

ML, I was hoping it would turn out this way. Try playing scenes that start with "make believe you don't know me and..." It's all good.

[merely_lurking]

Update: I'm not sure how this will change our fuckbuddy status, but I just found out that she is pregnant with my baby. This changes things a bit. Here's the relevant thread.

[Sh0t]

I have a similar problem but not quite the same.

My wife likes to get spanked but I personally have a hard time doing it as hard as she likes because my "lover's reflex" kicks in and prevents me from reaching a point where i presume it would hurt her. I simply can't do it harder than a certain amount or I get a kind of nervous feedback since it is impossible for me to hurt her intentionally.

You probably get the idea. It goes for spanking, really rough intercourse, etc. She on the other hand has no such problems and I have the marks to prove it

[vern]

dude, she sounds pretty messed up. i'd just enjoy the sex and drop her pretty quickly. is she normal outside of the bedroom?

[merely_lurking]

dude, she sounds pretty messed up. i'd just enjoy the sex and drop her pretty quickly. is she normal outside of the bedroom?

Ummm... Sometimes.