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Thread: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

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    Veteran Member Candy Apple's Avatar
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    Default What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    I'm sorry if this has been discussed before, I'm sure it has. But I've really been struggling with this lately. But the "I don't go out with customers" turns them off. And "I never have time to go out" always leads to an argument. The other night I tried "we'll see" but that didn't work either. I don't know what makes so many men think that if they come into a bar and buy one (or a hundred) dances from a girl that they would even consider dating them. What do you say to these guys to keep them buying and not pissing them off?

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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    toss your head and say he's not your type?

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    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    *smirk* Another dancer keeps this dorky picture of her boyfriend at work on one of the mirrors so that "whenever I get ready for work I'll smile - even though he hates that picture" - I was talking about a dorky picture I had of mine [he hates it with a passion] and she said "oo! let's all bring embarassing pictures of our boyfriends into work next week!" so I says "Yeah! And then when customers say 'why won't you go out with me?' we can say 'because you don't look like this!'"

    I say "I'm just for here, I'm working again Wednesday" or whatever.
    Other tactics:
    say something like "To go out for dinner I charge $300/hour, what days are good for you?"
    this is to remind them that you are to paid money for your time.
    or "really, I'm so involved with my girlfriend right now, I don't want to mess that up, you understand right? why if you had a girl like this... such boobs... thighs... what if she was going to deny me sex? I so seriously couldn't live without it..."
    the intent being to turn the conversation away from going out - note, though, in a few guys the lesbian thing is a turn-off [majority like, though].
    or I kind of play this "sorry, just got out of a 4 year relationship, I'm staying out of the game for a little while." -guys WILL argue this one, though, they'll say 'but it's not a relationship, just DINNER."

    All in all, if a guy is pressuring you to go out with him, he isn't interested in spending money on you for just dances or time in the club. Next customer.
    "I still have my name
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    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    Or better yet,tell him you ARE out with him and inside this fantasy world,he is your number 1 fella.
    The answer to anything outside of the fantasy world should be no.
    not
    nadda
    no way

    Shutting the door to harsh will lose the time you can string him out as a regular cash cow,cause they dont give up easy and often think tossing more money at you will get you to change your mind.
    be bitchy about it and lose that cash time.

    Your going to get this alot of times(per night).The whole point is for guys to walk in and fall in love with ya,its only natural that they will want to see you outside of the club.
    Not all,but one helluva lotta guys (i say almost all)go to strip clubs with hopes of bagging a stripper.Your going to need a sure fire way of dealing with it that suits your personality.
    Be nice,keep the fantasy alive for as long as you can.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    I have a very giggly friendly persona mixed with my sexiness at work, so when I get the date question I always just giggle. I don't spend more than a song talking to guys so I rarely get this before dancing, it's usually during or just after. If it's during a dance, I'll turn up the heat just a bit during the dance after my trademark giggle, and that often works to change their focus. If they pursue or ask after the dance, I say with a smile "now you know I can't do that". If they ask why, "I can't go out with guys I meet here", as I laugh it off. There are also smaller cues you can use to show you mean business - tone of voice: final without being harsh; body language: change positions, turn around during the dance, etc; refocus attention: change the subject, move a different way, etc.

    How you should handle it depends on your own style of work and whether you want him as a regular, but no matter what you should always be clear in communicating that you're not available.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Featured Member exotica17's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    Last time I worked, this guy did the typical, "I don't want to spend money on you here, only outside the club." (Are these guys really this stupid?) He kept telling me, "My intentions are honorable." I told him, "My intentions are to entertain and make money." He gave me his phone number so I could just turn around and throw it away.

  7. #7
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    Quote Originally Posted by CrescentLuna
    *smirk* Another dancer keeps this dorky picture of her boyfriend at work on one of the mirrors so that "whenever I get ready for work I'll smile - even though he hates that picture" - I was talking about a dorky picture I had of mine [he hates it with a passion] and she said "oo! let's all bring embarassing pictures of our boyfriends into work next week!" so I says "Yeah! And then when customers say 'why won't you go out with me?' we can say 'because you don't look like this!'"

    I say "I'm just for here, I'm working again Wednesday" or whatever.
    Other tactics:
    say something like "To go out for dinner I charge $300/hour, what days are good for you?"
    this is to remind them that you are to paid money for your time.
    or "really, I'm so involved with my girlfriend right now, I don't want to mess that up, you understand right? why if you had a girl like this... such boobs... thighs... what if she was going to deny me sex? I so seriously couldn't live without it..."
    the intent being to turn the conversation away from going out - note, though, in a few guys the lesbian thing is a turn-off [majority like, though].
    or I kind of play this "sorry, just got out of a 4 year relationship, I'm staying out of the game for a little while." -guys WILL argue this one, though, they'll say 'but it's not a relationship, just DINNER."

    All in all, if a guy is pressuring you to go out with him, he isn't interested in spending money on you for just dances or time in the club. Next customer.
    i tried the 300/hr for dinner thing. But you would be amazed on how many men are willing to pay that, or want to haggle.

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    Senior Member waikikamukau's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    The old "Can I take you out for dinner" routine.

    I have asked before, but not in the club, I asked the girl (who I actually really liked, I don't ask girls out for dinner just for the hell of it) if there was somewhere I could ask her out, without being in the club. She gave me a time and place during the day, and I did it then.

    I assumed she realised that I was serious then. And it all worked out pretty good.

    Guys, don't ever ask a girl out in the club, she is at work, and doesn't need any other distractions. (unless they are the braindead ones who get influenced by the pretty boys, then you have half a chance of a semi-stupid reply.
    My last girl melted in the sun

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    God/dess VADEN's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    I just smile and say, "well, my life is pretty busy right now and I don't have much time to get out, but when I do I will let you know"-"I'll keep you posted"



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    Veteran Member azamber's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    Seems like now it's illegal around here for a dancer to agree to leave the bar with a customer. Can't even lie about it, if he's vice, that's a prostitution charge. Bullshit isn't it?

    I know what you mean though, I have had the same problem. I like CrescentLuna's line, "I'm only for here, I'll be back (whenever)". Giggling and ignoring the question work well too.

    And what is UP with guys coming to a SC for a date, or to try and lure us out of the club because they don't spend money in a SC??? Stupid men drive me nuts.

    And as far as working these guys to get them to be regulars, I don't like stringing these guys along and perpetuating the idiotic behavior of men who forget it's a fantasy.

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    Veteran Member ChristyWild's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    Yeah, I guess that some SCJ's are just dyslexic...that's gotta be the only explanation why they see "Singles Bar" on the front door, instead of "Nude Girls". I guess they think that we're all just waiting to have them come in on their white horse and "save" us from this demeaning job. lol

    Personally, I tell them I have a child at home, and that, between work and taking care of her, I really don't have very much time to date or such like that. Or, I tell them that meeting them outside the club would either get me fired or that you have to have special licensing to allow the girls at an establishment to meet a customer outside. Now, granted, when it comes to the former, nine times out of ten, the go "well, who will know?", to which I reply "I will, and I don't want to."
    Age is only important when it comes to wine and whiskey!



  12. #12
    naomisantos77
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveSexMoney
    toss your head and say he's not your type?

    but then she will loose her customer! so that's not a smart answer

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    Oh yeah, sometimes I'll say all serious-like, "oh I can only be found here, I live here, got a cot upstairs in the dressing room". They always get a weird look for a few secs, like they're trying to decide if I'm BSing or not, then I laugh, they laugh and the subject is usually changed.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  14. #14
    naomisantos77
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    I always say "if you are good for me i will be good for you with a big smile***


    also you can tell him that you are not allowed to go out with costumers otherwise you will loose your job!

    or if you like.... i have got a second phone number only for customers... to some of them i give that number, if they call me i pick up and talk with them but tell them that i am in a hurry to go to gym....or that i can't come for coffee because i am at de hairdresser, beautysalon, fixing my nails, that i just woke up have to clean the house have to make a shower oh there are so many excusses.... to say.
    And if all of that doesn't work go with him for that coffee why not? take a friend with you if you do not trust him.

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    Featured Member krys's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    Best line for me:

    'I WOULD LOVE TO BUT I DON'T THINK MY GIRLFRIEND WOULD APPRECIATE IT'

    Either that or the 'I appreciate the offer but unfortunately the club has a really strict policy about dating customers',
    If I get the... oh they won't know reply I add.
    'and I am still pretty new here so I don't want to risk losing my job cos I really enjoy working here.'.
    If they are still persistent ....
    'It actually happened to a girl last week....'

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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    Quote Originally Posted by naomisantos77
    but then she will loose her customer! so that's not a smart answer
    reverse psychology does work on occasion. Some guys do like the thrill of the chase.

    Besides, if she doesn't want to go out with him, you can only string them along for so long. And really, why keep lying to the guy? For every customer you lose there are plenty more to take his place. I'd rather be straight up and say either Dude, you're not my type or just flat out no, then to have my name circulated among patrons in the club in a negative light.

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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    Quote Originally Posted by naomisantos77
    or if you like.... i have got a second phone number only for customers... to some of them i give that number, if they call me i pick up and talk with them but tell them that i am in a hurry to go to gym....or that i can't come for coffee because i am at de hairdresser, beautysalon, fixing my nails, that i just woke up have to clean the house have to make a shower oh there are so many excusses.... to say.
    And if all of that doesn't work go with him for that coffee why not? take a friend with you if you do not trust him.
    A 2nd phone number is a great idea. Back before pagers were "out", I had one strictly for voicemail. I would keep my updated schedule on it. More recently, I just started giving out my celly to select customers. Oh bad mistake. Lets just say my b/f was not too happy about that one and didn't care for my "but it's business!" answer. *snicker* Yeah, get a 2nd phone number.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    the "I wanna date" guys are easier to deal with than the guys who won't spend money in the club, but promise to outside the club.

    ARRRRRG! I hate them!

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    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    Fwiiw, I do ask this question, in various forms, sometimes. The reason I ask (if I think that I would like to see that particular dancer outside the club) is that the answer I get is "yes" fairly often...maybe a quarter or a third of the time in this country. (In some countries and clubs, the answer is virtually always "yes".) If I get a "no" or any evasive answer or any indication that the dancer is not inclined to accept my invitation, I drop the topic and don't mention it again. Under those circumstances and with that approach, is there any reason I shouldn't be asking?

    -Ww
    "At this moment what more need we seek?
    As the Truth eternally reveals itself,
    This very place is the Lotus Land of Purity,
    This very body is the Body of the Buddha."
    - Zazen Wasan

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    God/dess VADEN's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    Quote Originally Posted by azamber
    Seems like now it's illegal around here for a dancer to agree to leave the bar with a customer. Can't even lie about it, if he's vice, that's a prostitution charge. Bullshit isn't it?
    Yes, it is illegal here also.....



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    Veteran Member azamber's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wwanderer
    Fwiiw, I do ask this question, in various forms, sometimes. The reason I ask (if I think that I would like to see that particular dancer outside the club) is that the answer I get is "yes" fairly often...maybe a quarter or a third of the time in this country. (In some countries and clubs, the answer is virtually always "yes".) If I get a "no" or any evasive answer or any indication that the dancer is not inclined to accept my invitation, I drop the topic and don't mention it again. Under those circumstances and with that approach, is there any reason I shouldn't be asking?

    -Ww
    Other than the fact most of us hate it (even if you only ask once) and it promotes the idea that SC's are Dating Clubs. It also encourages girls to date customers, which in turn degrades the industry. That enough reasons for you? PLUS, she can get charged with prostitution in some places, if vice saw her leave with you or overheard your conversation.

    But of course, I believe in great personal freedom. Maybe offering her your number or asking for hers would be a better/more legal way to deal with it. I'd rather have a guy give me a number, which I can throw out, or ask me for mine, which I can deny him.

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    Newbie NikkiLove's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    I just tell them that I don't know them well enough yet. If it's with a guy spending money, he will spend even more trying to get to know me better. If he's not spending money, I just move on anyway.

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    Senior Member Crystal585's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    I just tell the guy that I have been put on a rigid schedule by my manager because I recently took a 2 week vacation, so I dont have the time in the next week or two and since I live in Vegas this usually gets rid of the problem since vacationers usually only stay a aweek r so , so doubts are he wont come back, and if he does then maybe hell get some more dancers : ).

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    Veteran Member sandi_g's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    Tell them your engaged.. or married. Trust me, you'd be amazed how many will still buy dances from you! And then they feel like they're lucky enough to "sample" the breath taking stripper that they can't have. You're suddenly not only a stripper, but a desired goddess!


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    Featured Member Wwanderer's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do you say to "will you go out with me"?

    Quote Originally Posted by azamber
    1 - Other than the fact most of us hate it

    2 - if vice saw her leave with you or overheard your conversation.

    3 - Maybe offering her your number or asking for hers would be a better/more legal way
    1 - This was the basic point of my question; if most hate (or at least dislike) the question, but a sizeable minority welcome it, is it really inappropriate to ask politely and only once? It doesn't seem that out of line to me, but I am interested in other opinions.

    2 - I would never expect a dancer to actually leave the club with me (in this country...common in some others).

    3 - That falls in the range of things I might ask, though it is more a detail of how to make the arrangements than the question itself.

    -Ww
    "At this moment what more need we seek?
    As the Truth eternally reveals itself,
    This very place is the Lotus Land of Purity,
    This very body is the Body of the Buddha."
    - Zazen Wasan

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