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Thread: Too much of myself & not enough fantasy..

  1. #1
    Senior Member EvilPixyDust's Avatar
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    Default Too much of myself & not enough fantasy..

    I was thinking about this all week...Don't mean to be a thread whore but I have to ask...

    When I see a customer alone, I wait and see if they order a drink...
    If they do, I approach, ask if I may join them, and introduce myself.
    I ask if they've been here before to see if it's another women's regular,
    If not, I continue...But here is where I stumble up...
    I'd like to learn some tactics in taking control of the conversation.
    Yesterday I felt a quick rapport with one guy because we both voted the same,
    but then his friend showed up and they got dances from everyone BUT me.
    Last week Weds I must have had my hustle button on, because it was strangly effortless selling, and my technique was the same.

    I'm finding it hard to leave my real personality in the dressing room, or decide which persona to play with. Guys always tell me I seem innocent, or collegiate..which means too much of real me is showing through. But I have a great sympathic ear, which seems to work.
    BTW, Friends think it's just hilarious that this job requires me to act sexy, because they know just how seriously inexperienced I am with actual sex...lol
    Sometimes thoughts like, "Oh my god this guy thinks I'm a dumb girl who can't do anything else", "I'm selling out for less than I'm worth", or shit like that will come into my head while chatting...(Even though no one's said them)..*I* know it's not true, but on some level it keeps me from doing as good as I should. Or if he doesn't want a dance, it becomes, "Damn I'm not even worth $10-$20?"

  2. #2
    God/dess VADEN's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too much of myself & not enough fantasy..

    Quote Originally Posted by EvilPixyDust
    Don't mean to be a thread whore but I have to ask...

    You can be our thread whore any day.....

    Or if he doesn't want a dance, it becomes, "Damn I'm not even worth $10-$20?"

    Sweetie, just because that guy did not want a dance does not mean that the next guy might not think you are a fk'n goddess!
    Keep your head up and try to think positive. Don't let one guys words or actions bother you. Move on to the next "victim"....

    Personally, I make more money when I am just myself......



  3. #3
    Veteran Member sandi_g's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too much of myself & not enough fantasy..

    Is the problem that you're too much like yourself, or that you sit and talk with each customer too long? Starting small talk is a great way to get dances, as long as you don't give it more than 2-3 songs. If you feel too personal, make yourself up; I'm from (somewhere I've been before), I work here cause I like to party, whatever- make yourself up. But close the deal soon! or they'll start getting dances from everyone but you.


  4. #4
    Senior Member EvilPixyDust's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too much of myself & not enough fantasy..

    Ohhhh just you saying " I work here cause I like to party" gave me ideas...
    Woohoo My new gown came today!
    LoL I'm a bad liar though, but I have to think of it as not lying, just acting.
    I'm definitely gunna start this act- I'm single, but live with a girl & a guy, and used to live in Las Vegas...Started dancing at 16 with a fake ID at Crazy Horse, that I danced for this or that celebrity, had crazy parties at the MGM Grand hotel...making up things is fun! hmm...

  5. #5
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Too much of myself & not enough fantasy..

    Use the best and strongest points of "yourself" - a good education? Good storyteller? Traveled? Know the area well? You can play conversations off of almost anything using your personal assets. And, practice makes perfect..it took me a couple years to not get upset over rejections or rudeness when I appoached someone.
    My conversational tactic is to ask about where they're from, what they do for a living....sometimes the questioning goes into ancestry....culture....local issues, etc.......A lot of SC patrons just want to have a nice, normal conversation...with an attractive lady.
    You can usually tell from body language cues whether they're attracted to you or not. I usually broach the subject of buying a drink or dance lightly, sweetly.....since especially today the hard sell is a turn-off.

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    God/dess RedZ28's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too much of myself & not enough fantasy..

    I generally get dances from pretty girl next door types. So being yourself would probably get me to get a dance from someone like you.

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Too much of myself & not enough fantasy..

    Three things... You are perfect just as you are because some guys like collegiate, some guys like a bit of fumbling innocence, and some guys like a bubbly companion over a hit-and-run wanna dance girl. You need to get a feel for what a particular guy likes about you and give him just that and no additional part of your personality. You need to learn to time when you've talked enough and he's interested in a closer look or you need to learn how to work the crowd of buddies to your favor. It sounds like he felt too guilty to look at you as a sex object or he gave in to his friends' taste instead of following his own.

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