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Thread: Is there a way out?

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    Senior Member brandys's Avatar
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    Default Is there a way out?

    ok ladies , here is the question , i feel like i am threw with dancing , escorting , the sex industry period. is there a way out? Every time i have tried to quit , i can't. Sometimes it seems like its a drug or something. The money I know I coulndn't make anywhere else , and the hours are great......... anyone sharing there ''out'' story would be greatly apprecheated !

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    Veteran Member MisfitBunnie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    Leaving wasn't something I planned on doing but did because the guy I got with pretty much demanded I quit or it was over between us. It is very hard to break free of this industry and I know tons of girls who have struggled to get out. I think you have to find something else you love and have a passion for and make that a new goal in life. Whether its being a teacher, a musician, a nurse, ect. Do what you have a passion for and it will be a little easier to leave the sex industry behind. Unfortunatly, I havent' really found my passion yet so I've been aching to go back into the industry. Good luck!
    "And Bill, lamenting how you never see a positive drug story on the news..."Today, a young man on acid realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration and that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and you are the imagination of yourself. Here's Tom with the weather...!"- Bill Hicks, The Greatest Comedian Ever!

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    Veteran Member piper_monroe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    I quit dancing about a month ago and have gone back into the resteraunt business, working as a waitress. I have always worked as a waitress part time but always with dancing to supplement my income. Now it's day job only and I am having a very hard time. I have two more years of school and while I am proud of myself for quitting because I said I would at this age, it's really really hard.

    It seems I never have enough money for anything, and I am not a big spender by any means. My Pathfinder's gas tank is perpetually empty, I find that I'm counting every penny, and the bank account that used to have a nice cushion holds only enough for bills and emergencies. Understandably the transition is hard, and I suppose I'm feeling it most now b/c this is my first month away from stripping. I am considering taking on another part time job if I can fit it in to make ends meet b/c I really want to make it on my own with out dancing.

    Apart from the money I do miss the dancing, the shoes, the outfits, the being on stage.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    What do you want to do? What do you love?



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    Veteran Member Katharine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    If your passion is dancing, then why stop?
    Last edited by Katharine; 11-07-2004 at 01:53 PM.

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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    I would take care of any debt or loans you have first. Another idea is to start taking really good care of yourself- if smoke and booze make you feel like crap, you won't want to go into the club. Figure out the things you like about dancing (getting dressed up, the attention, $, etc) and address every one of those things.

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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    Another idea:

    Write down EXACTLY how you feel about right now. When I'm away from it for a while, I tend to reminisce about the good stuff and overglamorize. This way you'll have something to jog your memory if you start getting bored in your normal job, missing the attention, etc.

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    Veteran Member MisfitBunnie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    Yeah, I'm with ya Piper. I miss dressing up, the shoes, the make up and all that stuff. When I explain it to my boyfriend he just doesn't get it. He looks at it as me missing dressing up for other men but that is not the case. Being a stripper, dressing up and walking out onto the floor onto the stage can almost make you feel like a celebrity walking down the red carpet. You feel the center of attention, you are the star of the show. Thats the best way I can explain it. But you know how it is, you can't explain these kind of things to anybody who hasn't been in the industry. They just don't understand.
    "And Bill, lamenting how you never see a positive drug story on the news..."Today, a young man on acid realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration and that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and you are the imagination of yourself. Here's Tom with the weather...!"- Bill Hicks, The Greatest Comedian Ever!

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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    Quote Originally Posted by brandys
    ok ladies , here is the question , i feel like i am threw with dancing , escorting , the sex industry period. is there a way out? Every time i have tried to quit , i can't. Sometimes it seems like its a drug or something. The money I know I coulndn't make anywhere else , and the hours are great......... anyone sharing there ''out'' story would be greatly apprecheated !
    Hi Brandys, if I apply your explanation to how I felt a couple years ago, you really aren't ready to quit just yet. It's not really out of your system yet so to speak. I took many breaks. some as long as 6 months but always had that aching or yearning to go back. And I did go back. I have now officially quit 3 months ago. Sold nearly all of my gear too! And still no urge to go back. I really think I am done this time.

    Perhaps you could make a list of work where your income would be somewhat comparable to stripping. My goal is either parmacist I've also lately been considering pharmaceutical sales. I still have a few years before I'll reach that goal but when I look at the grand scheme of things, a few years really isn't that long of a time.

    As far as the "glamour" aspect of it, I don't really miss that anymore because I'm now permanently glamorous anyhow. haha. My hair and makeup can still be inpeccable, and thanks to stage I still command attention when I enter a room. That persona doesn't really go away just because you quit. Of course it's a bit more understated now but definately still there.

    Have you given any thought to what your interests or passions are?

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    Good ?. Is there a way out for me? I can't even get a job, period, have huge bills due to relative's 24/7 care. I have 3 days temping, which is like 5 cents right now. Awaiting a couple tentative interviews, next wk. Have lotsa stuff up for sale, have tried almost everything.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Featured Member WiseGuy_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    Honey, believe in yourself and have faith that in time life will improve.

    Serenity Prayer

    GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living ONE DAY AT A TIME; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.


    Here are some links and stories by others. Perhaps Pryce will put some in the links section:

    Ex-Dancers.com
    NewFriendsLife.org
    Authenticrelationships.com
    Former Exotic Dancer Stories
    Lightdancers.org
    Escaping Prostitution
    Dawns Story
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

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    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    Quote Originally Posted by WiseGuy_TX
    Honey, believe in yourself and have faith that in time life will improve.

    Serenity Prayer

    GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living ONE DAY AT A TIME; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.


    Here are some links and stories by others. Perhaps Pryce will put some in the links section:

    Ex-Dancers.com
    NewFriendsLife.org
    Authenticrelationships.com
    Former Exotic Dancer Stories
    Lightdancers.org
    Escaping Prostitution
    Dawns Story

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    Senior Member Izzy's Avatar
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    Angry Re: Is there a way out?

    Quote Originally Posted by WiseGuy_TX
    Honey, believe in yourself and have faith that in time life will improve.

    Serenity Prayer

    GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living ONE DAY AT A TIME; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.


    Here are some links and stories by others. Perhaps Pryce will put some in the links section:

    Ex-Dancers.com
    NewFriendsLife.org
    Authenticrelationships.com
    Former Exotic Dancer Stories
    Lightdancers.org
    Escaping Prostitution
    Dawns Story

    ARGH!!!! evil christian propaganda....barf.
    Last edited by Izzy; 11-07-2004 at 01:53 PM. Reason: spelling


    there's beauty in the breakdown





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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    I know I'm only a dj but here's my experience with leaving the industry:

    I started about 8yrs ago as a bouncer, I quit after 2yrs cuz I couldn't take the shit I was catching from the cokehead owner about everything(I couldn't be friends with the girls, couldn't be nice to the features etc..) I swore I was done with it, until about 6 months later when I walked into a club that had a horrible dj...I started to jones like a crack addict, so I took the job, burnt out from bein there 6-7 nights a week for a few years and took a break, thought i was done until I walked into a club that needed a back up dj desperately...they hired me and I started workin again
    After a few years there, we moved cross country this summer and I retired...
    Well it's been 4months and I find myself jonesing again...
    When you are ready to quit it should be easier than when you really aren't ready to let the industry go, I hope

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    Featured Member WiseGuy_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    Quote Originally Posted by Izzy
    ARGH!!!! evil christian propaganda....barf.
    I'm curious, why would you judge those dancers that found their own way to deal with their issues?
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    Quote Originally Posted by Blade
    When you are ready to quit it should be easier than when you really aren't ready to let the industry go, I hope
    For me, I found this to be soooooooo true.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    Quote Originally Posted by WiseGuy_TX
    I'm curious, why would you judge those dancers that found their own way to deal with their issues?
    I think that was a judgement of the religion, not the dancers.



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    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    i'm still not really sure what my "exit strategy" is gonna be. i quit for about a year when my wife had the twins, but there just aint no way possible to make this kind of moolah only working 3-4 shifts a week without years and years of schooling, or perhaps ignoring a few drug laws. i know a lot of old SC dj's move on to weddings and the like but quite frankly i loathe the whole thing. i have done a few and i would rather gargle broken glass than do it again. i guess as long as i stay on top of my game i can keep doing it for awhile, i am only 32 after all. but yeah. good question.
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrChristopher
    i know a lot of old SC dj's move on to weddings and the like but quite frankly i loathe the whole thing. i have done a few and i would rather gargle broken glass than do it again.
    I agree..becoming a wedding dj is so not in my future, I did 2 and they were without a doubt the most horrific experiences of my lifetime.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    If you want to continue to perform, take up another performance art, such as drama or join a dance company. I began bellydancing and studied hard until I was asked to join a company, then began getting booked for solo gigs. Its fun, and has much less of a bad reputation. The money isn't good though.

    When you find a job that gives you adequate income to meet your needs, and as many of your desires as possible, quit, and focus on it. Work full time so there is no room to strip again....its going to be hard work, none of us are ready to do that LOL.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    Katrine, I heard the money was really good for registered dancers in Egypt. sooooo off topic but I had to share because I just started my belly dancing lessons last week. I guess the desire to perform never really does go away.

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    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    Quote Originally Posted by WiseGuy_TX
    Honey, believe in yourself and have faith that in time life will improve.

    Serenity Prayer

    GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living ONE DAY AT A TIME; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

    Here are some links and stories by others. Perhaps Pryce will put some in the links section:






    I see your mood says "Confused". I'll say...

    Many of these women were already damaged way before they started dancing and they overwhelmingly had problems with alcohol and drugs. These people are preying on sad, lonely, desperate women. So dancing is a "porn addiction"? These are pretty much all Christian Fundamentalist sites. What if you're Jewish or an Atheist?

    The choice to turn your life over to God is up to the individual. I personally prefer having my life to myself rather than turning it over to any entitity.

    There IS a way out, and it's a decision that you need to make. You will eventually wind up making a trade-off for your well-being and sanity.

    BTW, this kind of thing isn't limited just to dancers. It happens often in many well-paid but stressful positions. I've seen lawyers, investment bankers, and doctors go through the same thing. They hate their jobs but they money's too good and they don't know what else to do. A lot of them use the excuse that they're too old to do anything else.

    I have a relative who is a medical doctor and is fed up with the HMO's not paying her. There are days I make more than she does. And this is a full doctor, not a Physician's Assistant or Nurse. She wants to get out so she's making time in her schedule to take the steps she needs to in order to move forward in her life. It's not easy, and there's never any guarantees, but I'm the sort of person that agonizes more over regrets than tripping up in attempts to better myself.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    Well said, Nina!

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    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    Thanks Nina, you articulated it much better than I could with my

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    Senior Member Vixie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is there a way out?

    I left dancing for several reasons. 1, I knew it was a temporary thing until I was able to get back on my feet. 2, I became pregnant and needed to leave. 3, my husband wanted me to have a more stable life. I had worked partime before as a secretary and went back to that business. I am now an office manager. Yes, the money is not the same and I do have many bills but I love the challenges of my new job. Find something you like to do and try it. You owe it to yourself to give you a chance at something different. At least that's how I felt. I didn't want to deprive myself of other opportunities other than dancing. i have started my own web business that I hope to do full time once my baby is born in March. We'll see how that goes. Good luck!

    ViXie
    www.Sexxxy-Me.com

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