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Thread: Boyfriends and Dancing?

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    Member Tanketta's Avatar
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    Boyfriends and Dancing?

    OKay, My bf is amazing, I have to say that first off. But he has expressed his opinion of me being a dancer, and it ain't good. I get the idea that he doesn't want me showing myself to other guys... But this is what I want to do... this is going to pay my way through University and this is the only job I will be able to get... Pls Help!

    Do I keep him in the dark... ?? I really don't want to... but I don't want to lose him either....

    Any girls out there have similiar problems?

    Kisses, T

  2. #2
    Veteran Member RachelleD's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends and Dancing?

    This is my personal experience with boyfriends and dancing. It might not necessarily be the same for you.

    I've had three serious boyfriends since I've been dancing, and they each started out okay with it. (I was already dancing before they met me.) I informed them upfront: "I'm a dancer. This is how I pay for school. I don't want any whining/issues about it because I pay my bills, not you. If you have a problem with it, don't date me." At first it was fine. However, as they fell in love with me the bitching started. They didn't want me parading around a club, naked, dancing for strange men. They tried to convince me that I could live off of student loans (I refused.) They never really understood because they were either a) supported by their parents or b)already out of school.

    I've found that it takes a VERY VERY secure guy to be comfortable w/his girlfriend dancing. I have yet to find that guy, but then again, I'm not looking. I don't want another boyfriend until I graduate and quit stripping. In the meantime it's just too much stress, and I'm busy enough as it is. However regarding your situation, I would try to sit down and have a serious heart-to-heart with him. Explain that dancing makes your life easier, etc. If he understands that you look at it from a strictly financial standpoint, he might ease up a little. He might not. Some guys will give you an ultimatum- either him, or stripping. If you're faced with that decision, consider each option carefully and think about what is best for you.

    I know that dealing w/this can be a pain in the ass, but there is hope. Good luck
    "She believed she could, so she did." -unknown

    **Rachelle**

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends and Dancing?

    there are a lot of threads devoted to this topic, especially in Ladies Only, but also some with male perspectives in other fora.

    The basic sentiment is: do what's right for you. Sometimes a guy is more important. Sometimes being financially independent is more important.

    Also, never lie to him.

    My advice: just the fact that you are willing to lie to him speaks volumes about the level of trust in your relationship.

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    Featured Member cottoncandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends and Dancing?

    I don't think you should dance without telling him because he'll eventually find out (esp if you work Fri and Sat nights- time you'd usually be with him). My boyfriend didn't want me to dance for 5 months and I just kept telling him and showing him it was something I really wanted to do then he let me. It also helps if he has a hobby, like watching sports or playing video games that he likes to do for a few hours while you're working.
    '

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    Member crystal_ice's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends and Dancing?

    my boyfriend is used to me being away from home months at a time. and trusts me 100% in what i do.

    he understands the job, agrees with it, because its what i love to do. and knows that i would never cheat on him. he says it turns him on knowing the fact that i turn other guys on, and its him im going home to at the end of the night. x
    ۩۞۩ Lapdance.. is Porn that can see U! ۩۞۩ http:www.onemodelplace.com/Crystal_skye
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    *Crystal*

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    Featured Member Lizette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends and Dancing?

    Maybe I should start a support group for s.o.'s of dancers . . .

    It's weird that a woman's sexuality must be owned by her (male) s.o. If my boyfriend were to dance, I'd be okay with it.

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    God/dess RedZ28's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends and Dancing?

    I think I'd be okay with dating a dancer, as long as all she did was dance, isn't an "extra's girl," and doesn't escort on the side.

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    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends and Dancing?



    Even I get tired of repeating myself...
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends and Dancing?

    Guy's POV...

    It's your life. You do what you want. If he can't deal with it, then he may not be the guy for you. If a guy can handle your dancing, you'll NEVER have to worry about jealousy issues. Think about it.

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    Member Tanketta's Avatar
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    Default Re: Boyfriends and Dancing?

    Thanks so much... I decided that if and when I do start dancing... I will tell him... no lying... I love him to much to lose him and he knows I won't cheat... I'm just worried I guess, I don't think I would have ever actually lied... But, Thanks guys!

    Kisses, T

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