Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 27

Thread: Datding Ex-Dancer

  1. #1
    Newbie marx's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Datding Ex-Dancer

    I am dating an ex-dancer...she quit long before I met her...and quit becuase she got married, not anymore, and had a child...

    I know it is in her blood, but she will not even dance or strip for me...

    I am sooo turned on by it all. I would like her to do it again, but I know she will not because of her child...for one reason, she thinks her ex will try and take the child away due to the nature of the business...like it is selling drugs, prostitution or something else illegal...

    I have given up talking to her about dancing for me and have never expressed my desire to get her working again...

    Thanks for any advice?

  2. #2
    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Jerz
    Posts
    6,117
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    Well since I cant tell from the tone of your post, I hope you meant to say that "the nature of the business, because its not like its selling drugs, etc" Because this business is not about all the stereotypical things that people assume.

    Anyway, if she was a dancer and doesnt do it anymore, thats up to her. If she does not want to do it for you then you should respect that. We arent always thinking "dancing, dancing, dancing" infact many a times, thats the last thing we wanna think of. Maybe she quit because she didnt want to anymore?

    Also, how woud her dancing for YOU cause her ex to take her kid away?? Sheesh? Its not like she is doing anything illegal. Furthermore, how would her ex find out she danced for you?

  3. #3
    God/dess
    Joined
    Feb 2002
    Location
    OUTTATHISWORLD
    Posts
    7,219
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 23 Times in 15 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    lexi I gathered he wants her to start working again because the thought turned him on. at least that's what his post in customer convo originally said.

  4. #4
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    13,855
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    If she doesn't want to get back into the biz, tough cookies for you. Its not as exciting as you might think, and if you were to go see her in action, I can almost assure you that you will feel jealous and insecure, NOT turned on...

    Personally, I enjoy giving my boyfriend private lapdances, but maybe she isn't interested in that type of foreplay. Sum it up to sexual incompatibility. If there are other strong points in the relationship, focus on those.

    What do you mean by "in her blood"? If she is a natural performer, maybe you can encourage her to try some other performing arts, with you. For instance, maybe salsa or swing dancing.......

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  5. #5
    Senior Member commando's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2004
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    92
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    Why do you think "it's in her blood?" Believe it or not, most strippers were not born to be strippers. They don't come from a long and distinguished heritage of strippers. Most of them are just regular human beings who began dancing as a solution to circumstances, and those who enjoyed it, continued to dance. I don't suggest pushing her to go back to a job that is in her past and she is through with. That might be a bit like if she told you that she would think it's really sexy if you went back to bagging groceries like when you were a teenager, for example. Now, i don't know what your current situation is like, or if she's working now, but stripping is a job. The purpose of a job is usually to make money, not to indulge your SO's sexual fantasies.

    How about this: maybe take her with you to a club sometime, and see if she'd be interested in coming back sometime for "amateur night". That way, you could get the chance to watch her dance, she might make some extra scratch, and she wouldn't have to worry about being branded a "stripper" and having her child taken away from her.

  6. #6
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Syracuse
    Posts
    5,921
    Thanks
    369
    Thanked 419 Times in 290 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    Could it be that she is trying to be "real" with you, and she associates dancing with faking sexiness to and playing customers, not you?
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  7. #7
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Posts
    6,699
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 22 Times in 20 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    If when I quit dancing, I start dating a guy who asks me to get back into it because it turns him on, I will dump him so fast he won't know what hit him.

    Feature costumes for sale!

  8. #8
    Featured Member mercedez's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    lalala land
    Posts
    1,073
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver
    If when I quit dancing, I start dating a guy who asks me to get back into it because it turns him on, I will dump him so fast he won't know what hit him.
    I'll toast to that ....That's when u tell him he should become a stripper because it turns u on....

  9. #9
    God/dess VADEN's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    3,530
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    I agree with Commando and I will toast with Scarlett and Mercedez!



  10. #10
    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Boston MA
    Posts
    5,670
    Thanks
    35
    Thanked 144 Times in 74 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    Thanks for any advice?
    How about just let her be?

    If the worst thing a woman ever did to me was refuse to strip, I would friggin' marry her. And that's saying a lot, coming from me.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  11. #11
    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    at the Y
    Posts
    10,035
    Thanks
    2,878
    Thanked 5,834 Times in 2,332 Posts
    My Mood
    Goofy

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    I think you've assumed that stripping is a two way fantasy. I've never met a dancer who's primary reason for dancing wasn't simply to pay her bills. I have friends who have danced and are happy to be out of it. I have other friends who still dance and look forward to the day they can stop. I don't have a single ex-dancer friend who misses any aspect of the job other than the money.

    Is this fantasy the primary reason that you are with this girl?
    Quote Originally Posted by Katrine View Post
    yoda, I want you so bad it aches in the swimsuit area.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Sophia_Starina is a sensible stripper...Naked all the way.....
    Quote Originally Posted by tempest666 View Post
    Double team! 2 latinas with big tits!!

  12. #12
    Veteran Member MisfitBunnie's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    278
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    Hell I WISH me stripping turned my man on so I could go back to it! LOL!
    "And Bill, lamenting how you never see a positive drug story on the news..."Today, a young man on acid realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration and that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and you are the imagination of yourself. Here's Tom with the weather...!"- Bill Hicks, The Greatest Comedian Ever!

  13. #13
    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Jerz
    Posts
    6,117
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    Of Course, Marx hasnt responded.

  14. #14
    Newbie marx's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    Wow! I never thought I would get so many responces...but thank you all even if some did not get my point exactly...

    Your are correct in the fact that I am not compairing dancing with selling drugs...quite the contrary...one is legal, the other not...

    Her ex would try and take custody IF she started dancing professionally again...and that is the only real reason I thought she quit...she never made it clear other than telling me she does not dance now because she has a child...

    So, I have asked her clarification...I simply went outside with her to have a smoke...sat down and just ask her..."If you did not have child, would you still be dancing?"
    She said no, that she had a time limit even before she had her child...that it was just time to quit...

    She is always the entertainment, so that is all I meant when I said.."it is in her blood." Whether it be dancing, comedy or the like...so suggesting salsa dancing could be an option...

    I am not sure how I would feel knowing she is up there every night, but I am sure as hell, I trust her...If she did go off with some Joe....or Kim...or whomever...there would be a damn good reason...

    I have never pushed her, so please do not think that I am doing this JUST for myself...I have asked her once about it, and have dropped it since...I just do not like the idea that she may not be doing something she wants to do just because of a little person...and jerky big person...

    Thanks again for all posts...constructive and respectfull...

    Mark X

  15. #15
    Newbie marx's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by commando
    That might be a bit like if she told you that she would think it's really sexy if you went back to bagging groceries like when you were a teenager, for example.
    That sure puts a new light on the matter....very nice...

  16. #16
    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Manhattan
    Posts
    3,432
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    We need to hook this guy up with all the chicks that complain about their boyfriends not "letting" them dance...
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


  17. #17
    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    LA
    Posts
    2,982
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    stripping is in her blood? really? Hmmmm, I wonder if you can take some sort of shot for that.

    You just sound horny to me! LOL

    If she doesn't want to do stripping, She shouldn't. Maybe just have her strip in the bedroom for you, Sounds fair enough to me. I am sure she'd probably like that even better.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  18. #18
    Member Violet11's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Beverly Hills, CA
    Posts
    37
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    Do you love this girl? Because if you do, why would you want her to start dancing again?
    "Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love."
    -RUMI

  19. #19
    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Manhattan
    Posts
    3,432
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Violet11
    Do you love this girl? Because if you do, why would you want her to start dancing again?
    Huh?
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


  20. #20
    Newbie marx's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseDelight
    stripping is in her blood? really? Hmmmm, I wonder if you can take some sort of shot for that.

    You just sound horny to me! LOL

    If she doesn't want to do stripping, She shouldn't. Maybe just have her strip in the bedroom for you, Sounds fair enough to me. I am sure she'd probably like that even better.
    I did not mean that "stripping" is in her blood, rather entertaining...and she is good at that...she will not strip for me in the bed room...which I have certainly accepted...

    She tells me that she is not comfortable with doing it...I just wonder why...is she ashamed...is she just lacking self confidence with her looks? Perhaps she just does not want to live in the past...

    YES! I am very turned on by her...she had started to give me a lapdance once when I was sitting there on the couch...it was soooo nice...her little teddy...she has great thighs...it was like she wanted to turn me on, but then found herself unable to continue...she cooled off a bit and we went straight into forplay...I never make her feel bad because she choose to stop...I did let her know how hot she is when she does that and how turned on I got...I left it at that...

    I dont know what went on when she was dancing...something bad could have happened that I dont know about when she was dancing...I know there were some things outside of work that went on, maybe she associates the two and that is what she wants to get away from....whatever it may be...I just want to let her know how I feel and that she should do what she pleases...I will just support that...

  21. #21
    Senior Member grace's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    142
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by marx
    She tells me that she is not comfortable with doing it...I just wonder why...is she ashamed...is she just lacking self confidence with her looks? Perhaps she just does not want to live in the past...
    Your girlfriend doesn't necessarily have any awful complex about dancing -- it could just be that she associates dancing with work/money/stress rather than love/sex. I act very sexy when dancing, but the actual sexual part of my mind is switched off, and I think many dancers are the same. I sometimes try out new moves for my boyfriend -- he gives great feedback -- but it's more in a spirit of fun than foreplay. If he gets turned, it makes me

  22. #22
    Veteran Member Prina's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    377
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    I think she is uncomfortable with you always bringing it up. Don't pressure her into doing something she does not want to do. Seems to me this fantasy of yours might cause a strain on the relationship.
    I don't think she is ashamed of her body. I agree with grace, she might associate dancing with work/money and stress.

  23. #23
    Newbie marx's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    7
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    Quote Originally Posted by Prina
    I think she is uncomfortable with you always bringing it up.
    I only brought it up twice...

    Where did you get that I am pressuring her?

    I am interested in her life...and that includes her past...

    Take another look at my posts...you will see that my intentions are not to get her to dance again against her will...I am here because I wanted insight...not judgements...

    Grace, Lexi, Katrine, commando, threlayer, RoseDelight, yoda57us, Casual Observer all gave good insight...thanks!

  24. #24
    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    LA
    Posts
    2,982
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    I have to give you props though......Most bfs HATE for their gfs to stip. Relationships break up over it. Atta boy! But let her do whatever she wants, and you keep enjoying the private show darlin'


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  25. #25
    Senior Member commando's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2004
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    92
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Datding Ex-Dancer

    Hey Marx, i'm glad I didn't offend you. I read over my post again and the tone was a bit aggressive. I just wanted to give you some insight as to her point of view; I'm glad you understood and received it well. I think some people here have given some good advice. I'm glad you had a chance to talk about it a bit more with her, and now understand that maybe she had other reasons for quitting. I wouldn't try to pry too hard to find out why she didn't like it, a lot of women leave the business with a lot of mental baggage. (Some don't, and have no problem) Best of luck to you!

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 10
    Last Post: 09-15-2015, 03:51 AM
  2. Dancer stabs another dancer at a club
    By Jaden_GD in forum Club Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 03-21-2009, 12:19 AM
  3. Do White Dancer Make More Cash$$ That Blk.dancer??
    By MADAM LIZZ in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 69
    Last Post: 07-08-2006, 03:36 AM
  4. sometimes i feel stupid being a dancer when non-dancer staff at the club makes more
    By miabella in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 02-12-2006, 02:19 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •