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Thread: "Too Intelligent"

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    Default "Too Intelligent"

    I'm told too often by customers that I'm "Too intelligent/smart/etc" to be a dancer.

    All snide, or sweet remarks in return that I could make to the customers aside, I honestly believe that my intelligence is hindering my money.

    My girl friends (co-workers) at the club are always telling me to "dumb it down!"

    I understand businessmen and egos - I KNOW to never try to outsmart the customer, or use words too large for their vocabulary, and in practice I have gotten better at feeling the guys out before showing TOO much of my brains.

    I know that men don't attend a club for brains, they are there for boobs. But I make most of my money being MYSELF - talented in many ways, intelligent, and naturally pretty, with a bit of a wild side. Putting on a pretend person and becoming someone else is NOT an option for me. On the other hand, I don't mind temporarily editing myself to suit a particular customer or situation, so long as it falls within the realm of ME and who I really am.

    My biggest problem is this - most men, whether spending a lot or a little money on me at the club, see me as WIFE/dating material. They see that "lady in public, whore in the bedroom" mentality in me. They think "WOW! An intelligent, beautiful girl who is a dancer and in college now.. I can take her away and make her my girlfriend/wife/mistress, and she will quit dancing and have her career/have me take care of her".

    I don't mind this all too much - at least it falls outside of the typical male fantasy in taking a dancer home to fuck, or that all dancers walk around in trashy lingere and get kinky with their boyfriends (ok.. we do SOMETIMES, but that's another story!).

    This doesn't happen every day, and it's a nice compliment. Sometimes this is from fellows I would actually date, and other times it's from guys that I am thinking "ewww, gross! or "you're MARRIED!".

    Aside from those nice moments, oftentimes I find that guys like to keep me around a table for a long time. They like me to sit and drink with them. They like my conversation. This especially happens most often with the uber-business men, or the traveling out of town-ers. Or the "famous" people, as they are amazed that I treat them like a regular human being. Then suddenly I become one of the guys. I'm in on all their jokes. I have all their business cards. They talk to me like a normal human being. Meanwhile, all these other girls are at the table getting dances from the guys, and I have no money.

    I've asked to be paid for my time, but the guys look at me like I'm nuts. It's like they have written me off their list for sexual entertainment.

    I often get the following comments from these tables:

    "You're too nice"
    "You're too intelligent"
    "You're so sweet and/or naieve"
    "I feel like I know you too well"
    "I'd love to hang out with you outside the club, you seem like a girl who has her shit together, but I don't feel comfortable spending money on you in here" (this isn't because they are cheap - mind you them/their table is spending big bucks on other girls at this very moment).

    The main reason I stay at these tables longer than the 1-3 dances is because that's what the other girls are doing, and it's the "norm" for our VIP tables to talk for a while.. if they like you, sticking around to chat is a shoe-in to make a few hundred dollars at a table.

    OK.

    I need some serious help/input here...

    Please keep in mind the following:

    * IN our club on busy or slow nights the VIP area is more of a chat for a while (I'd say 15-20 minutes), dance, drink, chat, shots, dances, more talk, more girls, chatting, dancing..etc. About 1-2 1/2 hours in a booth = $100-300, depending on the customer(s), # of girls at the booth, etc.

    * We do not make any money off drinks, do not have private booths or other areas for more private dances.

    * Lapdances cost $20 each. Asking for or suggesting tips is not allowed. We CAN, however, ask to be paid for our time.

    * Our club/state technically has a "no touching anywhere" policy as far as customer-dancer, and obviously no sexual touching, but we do contact dancing anyways.

    * We are a topless club, not fully nude.

    Thank you for all the help!

    -L.

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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    my signature (and motto!) used to be: "It takes a smart girl to act dumb as dirt."

    At times I found it challenging, other times refreshing, but I found it was definately helpful. My motto helped me many, many times throughout my career. You can still make smart comments but in a ditzy way. For example:

    When they asked me what I did during the day...I would sing song..."oh, shop, tan, masterbate. *giggle*"

    oops that wasn't a smart comment but you get my drift. Sorry but I'm on my second cocktail. Whee!

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    God/dess DancerWealth's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    I would suggest that you play up your intelligence rather than play it down. The reason guys say that you are "too smart to be a dancer" is because they have a stereotype locked in their head as to what a dancer should or should not be. My suggestioun would be for you to respond as, "Thank you for the compliment and I can tell you that the reason I AM a dancer is because I'm intelligent. It gives me a great edge in this business and certainly lets me be more creative in how much fun I can have with my customers."

    This way it doesn't sound like you are insulting your customer with a come-back line and it also sounds interesting enough to where you will then spark their curiosity about you. It's also a great lead up to a close.

    The ORIGINAL Stripper Sales School
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    Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln

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    Senior Member LadyM's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    I've gotten that same line too. While I don't 'dumb down', I most certainly have a few hard and fast rules that I stick to regarding what I will and will not talk about at work. I don't EVER talk politics (unless it's a regular I know well and know that he shares the same views I do). After this election it's just insane to attempt it.

    I also stay away from religion. Even though I wear a religious symbol, I do brush off just about all comments about it unless it's slow and I have nothing else to do but discuss it. Again it's another mine field.

    I also fib a bit about what I'm going to go back to school for. I choose a major that is similar but not a much of a 'hard-science' based field.

    Although most men will say they don't like a 'dumb' woman, it is intimidating to many customers when they meet a girl in a club that coudl run mental rings around them. I just try to stay away from topic that would only shine a spotlight on my brains and not my body ;-)

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    Senior Member Esmerelda's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    From my experience, the dumber I act, the more money I make. I find that intelligent conversations aren't condusive to making the transition into offering to do a dance or a VIP. Extremely light convo about nothing makes it so much easier to look them in the eye, pout my lips, and suggest we go "have some more fun" by doing a few lapdances. No one I've ever met has taken me to the VIP room just to talk. (And, believe me, I've tried...) They want my body to dance.
    Smile. It makes people wonder what you've been up to.

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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    most guys don't go to the stripclub to have their mind stimulated. at least, not the one on their shoulders. lol

    I don't mean be a complete ding dong. But I'm curious what sort of things do you say to them to constantly hear, "you're too intelligent?"

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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    Quote Originally Posted by LunaATX
    My biggest problem is this - most men, whether spending a lot or a little money on me at the club, see me as WIFE/dating material. They see that "lady in public, whore in the bedroom" mentality in me. They think "WOW! An intelligent, beautiful girl who is a dancer and in college now.. I can take her away and make her my girlfriend/wife/mistress, and she will quit dancing and have her career/have me take care of her".
    So let them think that. You could build up some regulars.

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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    Nah, I know the guys she is talking about. They aren't the ones convinced that by spending money she'll become their wife/mistress. They are convinced that since she has revealed her real true intelligent nature and therefore, for free, should continue to do so for free.

    Out of the 20 or so private rooms I sold in Baltimore, only one wanted to talk. I'd tried before to sell to people on the basis of "it is nicer to talk in there" but didn't work.
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    The reason guys say that you are "too smart to be a dancer" is because they have a stereotype locked in their head as to what a dancer should or should not be.
    Exactly, in addition to the aforementioned intimidation factor; it's bad enough you're a smoking hot chick, but worse that you could possibly exhibit something approaching true intellectual curiosity. That's a turn-off and/or image-shattering combination for a lot of men, and they're less likely to respond positively to your machina, err, hust, umm, offerings.

    Then of course, there's customers like me...ahem.

    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    Veteran Member emilybelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    i have been in both situations. one of my regulars is a city official in another town, and he loves to sit and talk politics (and pay me) b/c i have a brain. other guys think that since i am smart, that it is acceptable to pay me to sit and just entertain them by my conversation.

    one guy the other day told me that i have a brain, but i don't use it. i just laughed and told him that i use my degree and my brain more here than my last "real" job.

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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    I guess it all depends on how you want to work. If you plan on getting yourself a lot of regulars, then acting like yourself and letting them know you are smart isn't all that bad. You will have to work on guys to get them to become regulars though, and most of the time girls who have regulars who would be considered "good" regulars have spent at least a couple of months on each guy to get him to become a "good" regular.
    But if you are going for a quick sell, and want to become a good hustler it's usually best not to talk too much, keep the conversation VERY general, a little flirty, etc.
    And most guys in the club see MOST girls as dating/wife material. They will say that to almost every girl that sits down with them, even if she's acting like an idiot or really is an idiot. It's a line. Just like "you're the prettiest girl in here", "you should do some modelling", or "you're too good to be in here" etc. etc.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    Try using your intelligence to make money instead of impressing people. To address your points...

    Don't become "intellectually intimate" with them until you have their money.

    Talk about them, talk about dances, talk about things that lead to you making money.

    If you aren't making money, don't sit there and let them think it's okay to take your time. Tell them you have to get back to work.



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    Veteran Member DeepGreen's Avatar
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    Smiley Re: "Too Intelligent"

    Dancers who come across and intelligent and friendly are always more of a turn-on for me. It's not that I'm looking for a high-powered academic discussion (plenty of that at my job), but just that brains and beauty are a very attractive combination for me. Gets me every time... I tend to spend lots on dances, but usually only after a girl is willing to sit and chat for at least a few minutes...and then intelligence is a big turn-on for me.
    There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss... --RENT

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    Veteran Member playboycntrfold's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    Huh... funny I started the same type of topic in customer convo. and got fairly different responses...

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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    You have to transcend your intellegence... instead of feeling how much smarter you (rightfully) are than the customer, which leads to frustration... which leads to an unattractive mood... try seeing how cleverly you can put them at ease by using your higher perception, then reel them in.

    I have to do this with my idiot boss nearly every time we speak -- and it's become an interesting ongoing experiment. Sure beats focusing on what a royal doofus he is. Good luck!
    Last edited by officegangsta; 11-15-2004 at 12:35 AM.

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    Senior Member grace's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    You don't always have to say "smart" things to come across as smart. There's also smart body language - eye contact while listening, leaning forward, and so on.

    Don't do the majority of the talking. Get *them* to talk. (Unless you run across someone very shy -- that's a different can of worms.) Ask questions and then make responses that basically repeat what they have said, rather than adding new information to the conversation. Adding new information can be seen as one-upping -- most guys don't want to think that a stripper knows something they didn't know. Unless it's completely trivial...Ripley's Beleive-It-Or-Not style.

    Real conversation is hit or miss. I suppose there are guys out there who will be blown away. But it usually doesn't work for me. I think if customers think you're having a good time talking to them, they don't see why they should pay you for it.

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    Re: "Too Intelligent" - THANK YOU! :)

    WOW!

    Thank you so much for all of the great responses, I really appreciate it!

    I have been working on this "problem" (obstacle to major money making) for a while now, and have done a pretty decent job at avoiding intelligent topics.

    ASIDE from my biggest flaw, which is - when the subject comes to business and the fella's are discussing business, I tend to end up in the conversation, as I have owned my own business for years, and am the offspring of two entrepreneurs! OOOPS! This one I am working on, I promise!

    That said, I tend to use larger words, and even know quite a bit about "guy" subjects - especially baseball, fast muscle cars (60's & 70's!), german cars, politics (avoided!), and beer/drink types.

    I've found (this is a tip for you other gals), that the car-knowledge can go a long way because: #1- Guys tend to LOVE the thought of a girl knowing a lot about cars, even if the girl knows more than them. #2- Even if you don't know about lots of different types of cars or only a little about cars in general, this leaves open a subject to say "I don't know what this one thing is in my car, but....." and ask the guy for HELP. This plays on his manhood - even if he doesn't know his ass from a hole in the A/C hose!

    A final note, for you fella's who appreciate a nice, smart girl - if you like blondes with smaller breasts and big booty, please come to Texas and visit me. I promise the money will go to one of the four following things: #1- Education, #2-Debt, #3- Taking care of stray/homeless animals, #4- Saving money to purchase my first brand new car *ever*

    Haha, that said, once again, thanks to everyone for your help and best of luck to you intelligent women in the clubs - rake in that cash, however you decide to play up (or down) your intelligence!

    -L.

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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    You know, I just try to relate to the customer on an individual basis. It's pretty easy to tell who's going to like the fact that I'm educated and who either doesn't care or won't like it. It's just a matter of reading guys. Some businessmen think it's cool that I'm paying for school; some want to escape reality and imagine me as a nympho who strips for fun. Some rednecks think going to college is showing off; some think it's impressive and neat. You can tell by the way they talk to you what kind of person they're looking for.

    That being said, I don't think my intelligence has ever hurt my money but then I tend to hustle in my club and I rarely spend a lot of time with a customer. And to paraphrase Chris Rock, I don't think I've ever given a smart lap dance.

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    Member Sherrill's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    "You're too smart to be doing this" is as much a line as "you're too nice". It's an excuse for customers who weren't planning on spending money on you anyway. Of course, they're happy to accept your (free) company. I usually just leave these guys right away, otherwise I will end up wasting tons of time in conversation.

    But lately, my intelligence hasn't been interfering in my money making. Intelligence and sexiness aren't mutually exclusive, and like Susan Wayward said, you have to tailor your approach to each person as an individual.

    First of all, your focus should be on your customer. Who are you, what brought you in tonight, do you get here often, is it still raining outside? etc. get him talking and you learn about his character. Your intelligence doesn't even need to come in to play at this point (overtly anyway) because he's doing most of the talking.

    However, all the time he's talking, you're sending sexual signals like crazy; eye contact, leaning toward him, SMILING (mouth open). By the time you're done with introductions, he'll think you're hot as hell, and you know enough about him to talk without intimidating him.

    As far as pretending to be a bimbo, it's not the dumbness guys like - it's the SMILING
    The sooner every stripper learns to smile, the better.

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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    Yep, intelligence sucks SOMETIMES, but I do have customers that have thanked me for carrying on the conversation. One actually said to another dancer (at a different club than mine,) "I am about to leave" and when she asked why he said " I am going to go talk to this other dancer that actually carries the conversation, I can just put in my two cents." A GREAT compliment, sorry about the girl..
    Ooh, and I once had the nickname "the great conversationalist who can talk to a guy for hours without pausing."
    So don't dumb yourself down unless you know for sure it will make you money!
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    Senior Member LadyM's Avatar
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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    Luna's got a very good point. Knowing 'guy' subjects can be a real boost at work.

    I'm a big sports fan, not obsessive like a lot of guys, but I can definitely carry on a conversation about several sports, and can follow other conversations enough to learn things. Guys LOVE that.

    I also once worked with a girl that was really into cars and NASCAR. The guys loved that too.

    I'd recommend to any girl that works near a major sports team (either pro or college) to do a little homework and find out when games are and who they play. At the very least it's a great ice-breaker at work.

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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent" - THANK YOU! :)

    Quote Originally Posted by LunaATX
    ASIDE from my biggest flaw, which is - when the subject comes to business and the fella's are discussing business, I tend to end up in the conversation, as I have owned my own business for years, and am the offspring of two entrepreneurs! OOOPS! This one I am working on, I promise!
    It sounds to me like you're having trouble committing yourself to creating the fantasy. (Is this a case of the entrepreneur not delivering the desired product to the consumer?) Regardless of the level of its intelligence, it is, after all, supposed to be his fantasy you're spinning.

    Sometimes I find that I must play a mental game with myself to sustain my motivation, with me being the only one who enjoys my own creativity. I imagine I'm trying to pry corporate secrets out of him or that my mission is to probe the depth of his misinformation. Instead of adding my own two cents, I'll quiz him about his opinion and be attentive. "Well, I've never really understood (specific process)" and let him elaborate unchallenged as I non-verbally bask in his brilliance.

    The upside of your intelligence is you can determine how to modify the application of your intelligence to your advantage. For fun and profit, perhaps you should try being craftier, not less intelligent, as a business model.

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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    "For fun and profit, perhaps you should try being craftier, not less intelligent, as a business model. "

    Haha. I will definitely enjoy implementing that one!

    Thanks

    -Luna

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    Veteran Member A.n.a.l.a.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    what exactly makes you "too intelligent?" do you discuss socrates in fluent latin, calculate logorhythms (sp?), or anything like that at work? oooh the strippers can read above a grade 5 level and do math above grade 1 level addition and subtraction! let's hand tissues to the poor men who feel so inferior to your brains! give me a break!

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    Default Re: "Too Intelligent"

    "You're too smart for this" is something that every dancer hears every day, even if she's dumb as dirt. You could try what I do and say "Pshaw! Like YOU are in a position to judge MY intelligence" or "Yeah! Last week I read a whole magazine all by myself" but this approach does not work for everybody. I have never seen a dancer make more money "acting dumb". Some guys who say these things (at least some that have said them to me) just may not want you. I don't mean that in a bitchy way - there have plenty of guys that haven't wanted me, and probably most girls here would say the same. But if the guys thought you were that cool, and fun and really wanted you to stick around they would pay you, especially if there are other girls at the table making money. Tell them (nicely) that you are a sex object, dammit, and you demand to be treated as one. The one thing that does make a difference to to make your move early. DO NOT sit around and let them get used to having you for free. I have told this to many a girl who wonders why I make twice what she does out the same group of guys - if you chat them up for 30 minutes, they think you're their pal. You can be aggressive - they know where they are, they know where you are, and they know you are at work (unless you have told them you are just a sexy eccentric girl who likes to prowl the city in lingeree. Which I think would be funny); fantasies don't change that basic understanding.
    So you go get em tiger.
    Grrr.
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