Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Mental Answer Phone

  1. #1
    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    LA
    Posts
    2,982
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Mental Answer Phone

    A transcript of the new answering service recently installed at a mental health institute

    "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
    line so we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
    mother ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you
    which number to press.

    If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press
    no-one will answer.

    If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.

    If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a
    representative comes on the line.

    If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number,
    date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.

    If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

    If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
    before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have low self esteem. Please hang up. All our operators are too
    busy to talk to you."


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  2. #2
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Sep 2004
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    547
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Mental Answer Phone

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
    Haaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha!!!! That was the funniest part.
    Awesome.

  3. #3
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Lil Rhody
    Posts
    10,471
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Mental Answer Phone

    LOL That's awesome, Rose..

  4. #4
    God/dess RedZ28's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    2,519
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: Mental Answer Phone

    000. Oh damn I did it too fast. Oh well, bring on the dancers LOL.

  5. #5
    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2003
    Location
    Waikiki, West Hollyhood
    Posts
    4,638
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts

    Default Re: Mental Answer Phone

    LOL..Get thread Rose.
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


  6. #6
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2002
    Location
    ...hehehe... email me to ask me where i am ! (i dare you!)
    Posts
    11,486
    Thanks
    42
    Thanked 127 Times in 51 Posts

    Default Re: Mental Answer Phone

    000 is the number you call in Australia for Fire, Police, Ambulance... so watch it when you dial that number that you aren't in Australia... LOL!

    Actually.. funny thing.. due to the proliferation of US programs on the tv here... ALOT of Australians think that 911 is our emergency number when it is 000 .... oh dear...

    This was totally kewl... a nice laugh


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  7. #7
    God/dess blondhottie's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2003
    Location
    St. Louis
    Posts
    4,575
    Thanks
    4,072
    Thanked 1,171 Times in 436 Posts

    Default Re: Mental Answer Phone

    LOL, that was funny RoseDelight, thanks for the laugh!

Similar Threads

  1. Selling your phone # & keeping privacy/separate phone
    By HaydenBlue in forum Camming Connection
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 12-05-2011, 05:04 AM
  2. Replies: 49
    Last Post: 05-14-2011, 03:44 PM
  3. A new mental illness
    By michele_b in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 03-25-2008, 11:59 AM
  4. Replies: 39
    Last Post: 04-09-2006, 04:35 PM
  5. mental health
    By MissTaylor in forum Body Business
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 05-09-2005, 08:59 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •