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Thread: Why Am I Such A Glutton For Punishment ?

  1. #1
    Veteran Member DJ_Duane's Avatar
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    Angry Why Am I Such A Glutton For Punishment ?

    Hi Everyone.

    Been busy with work and various projects, but I'm back again.

    As you know, I've ridden in bicycling charity events this year, including the Paradise Ride and the Tour de Cure. I wanted to go to the Lance Armstrong Foundation's Ride for the Roses, but couldnt get off from work.

    I've havent done very well in the fundraising part of any of those. I've tried various ways to fundraise and they all failed. Miserably, I might add.

    I had the best results with the Paradise Ride - $2,047 - but that was short of the $2,500 minimum required of all Riders in the event and I had to make-up the rest out of my own pocket. I knew that going in, so I didnt mind. Plus, I had a real great time there. I signed-up to do it again next year.

    The Lance Armstrong Foundation's "Ride for the Roses" turned-out to be my worst outcome yet. I raised only $50. I gave-up my spot in the Ride to some one else who raised more money. This one hurt the most. I lost my mother, grandmother and several uncles to cancer and I wanted to do better for their sakes. But, it just didnt work.

    I put the most effort into the American Diabetes Association's "Tour de Cure". My dad is living with diabetes and I really put out the effort to raise as much as I could. I even set my goal at $10,000.

    I tried to post Letters to the Editors of every newspaper in Hawaii, but none saw print. I sent out HUNDREDS of emails and got only two donations. A famous radio DJ in Hawaii died of diabetes earlier this year, so I sent email and made phone calls to every radio station in the State asking for sponsorship and none would. Efforts to try to do fundraising with the employees at the club I work at proved fruitless, as no one would help me.

    In the end, I raised all of $350. I put in $150 of my own money, which brought it up to $500 and I was awarded a souvenir jersey for the Tour, which I am very proud of, as the Tour was a tough 30 mile ride in heavy rain.

    But, I am so tired of trying so hard to do some good and running smack into a lot of resistance. I figured that people who have "issues" about AIDS would be less resistant to donating to a cancer or diabetes charity. Nope.

    I had already signed-up to go to Paradise Ride 2005 in October, which was before the Tour de Cure on November 14th and I thought that the fundraising would go better as the event approached. Instead, people were actually angry with me that I asked them to donate to the American Diabetes Association! I still cant undrestand that.

    When I got home from the Tour, I decided that I had been through enough of a mental and emotional beating. Tired of trying so hard and coming up way short of the goals I had set. Getting only one or two donors for the LAF and ADA left me feeling let down with myself and society as a whole.

    When the Tour was over, I decided that I was going to quit fundraising for ANYBODY. I'm just no good at it. I could just stick with the Paradise Ride for 2005 and maybe not do another one after that. I gave up.

    Months ago, I found out that the Honolulu Marathon needed bicycle riders to escort the marathon participants who use their wheelchairs in the event and I volunteered to help as soon as I heard they needed people like me.

    While I was fundraising for the LAF, I got a letter from the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, asking me to sign-up for their fundraising arm: Team in Training. Basiclly, its a group of people who participate in various events put on around the country and raise money for the Society. Marathons, bike rides, triathlons, walks, etc. The events arent put on by the LLS, their Teams participate in the events and ask people to sponsor them. A good method. They spend next to nothing to put an event together, since other organisations are doing it, but they use the events as opportunities to raise money to fight leukemia and other blood cancers. Team In Training doesnt have a cycling team in Hawaii, so they had nothing on their calendar for bike riders.

    For reasons I do not understand to this day, I called the local LLS office a week ago and told them I was going to be at the Honolulu Marathon as a bike escort. The LLS will have a group of runners there also. I figured I raise a few bucks for the LLS - maybe raise nothing, with my luck - and call it quits after that. I figured "What's the harm? I raise a little or I raise nothing, so what? It's not like I'm on any of their teams and they dont have a cycling team in Hawaii in the first place, only walkers and runners. What do I have to lose?".

    So, I'm on the phone with the LLS and I tell them I'll be at the Marathon as a bike escort and I offer to try - that's TRY - to raise some money for the LLS at the event.

    Of course, the lady is very happy to hear this and asks me if I do a lot of cycling. I told her: yes, I work as a bike messenger in Honolulu and I ride at least 40+ miles every day.

    (Oh, now here is where I f*** myself really good.)

    The lady asks me right away if I would like to be on the cycling team of the Hawaii chapter of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, which will be forming in February 2005.

    Before I could stop myself, before my brain could tell my mouth to stop, I had said: YES! She had my name, postal and email addresses and my phone number in less than a minute and told me she would be mailing me my packet soon.

    It wasnt until I had hung-up the phone that I realised what I had just done. I was going to go through the whole fundraising cycle over and over again. There are several cycling events in Hawaii throughout the year and the LLS team will be at most of them, I think. So that means I'll be fundraising all year long! I dont even know ANYBODY who has a blood cancer. Ovarian cancer, yes. Pancreatic cancer, yes. Blood cancer, NO.

    You know, I've always been this way. As far back as childhood, I signed-up to feed the hungry, shelter the homeless and raise money for the MS Society and the MDA. I was always the first one to want to help people. You couldnt stop me from volunteering.

    So, what should I do? Call the LLS and tell I changed my mind?

    I just know that I will hate myself for backing out now. Just the thought of quitting bothers me. But, the headache and heartache involved in the whole fundraising part is pretty discouraging.

    Advice is appreciated. Sorry the post is so long.
    Last edited by DJ_Duane; 11-25-2004 at 11:21 PM.

  2. #2
    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Am I Such A Glutton For Punishment ?

    Duane, you should be happy with your efforts. Some people simply can't donate because the economy is shitty. For what its worth I am very proud of you and I only hope to be able to ride 30 miles in a fundraiser someday.
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Am I Such A Glutton For Punishment ?

    You can only do so much, Dahlin.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    God/dess Farrah_Holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Am I Such A Glutton For Punishment ?

    I thought of 2 more things to say.
    1. Sometimes you simply can't do everything for everybody and you should never feel bad for saying no.
    2. Try asking some of the local businesses to either sponsor you or allow you to leave a contaiiner in their business to collect donations. You can also speak to the mgr. at your club about sponsoring you too..
    My new love...is me !

    Even the greatest authority does not, ultimately, know you as you know yourself.
    Jhuka

    When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
    Maya Angelou


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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Am I Such A Glutton For Punishment ?

    okay, just my take on this

    you do a lot of fundraisers, which is sweet, but you are speading your resources too thin that way

    Also, when you send e-mails asking people for money, are these people that know you or your reputation? I just think people are apprehensive about sending money to someone they don't know.

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    Banned Madcap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Am I Such A Glutton For Punishment ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily
    Also, when you send e-mails asking people for money, are these people that know you or your reputation? I just think people are apprehensive about sending money to someone they don't know.
    I totally agree. It's not that we don't want to help, it's that whole spam bullshit (and it's sisters and cousins) that has people wary.

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Am I Such A Glutton For Punishment ?

    As Mother Theresa learnt: You have to look after yourself first before you can even THINK about helping anyone else.

    Therefore... learn to say NO. Be okay with that. You canNOT keep pushing yourself to fundraise when your heart is just not in it anymore - take some time out for yourself. You may go back to fundraising at a later date.. however.. what your whole post says to me is that YOU NEED TO CUT BACK or even take time out altogether from fundraising and/or volunteering.

    You can "change your mind". It is okay to "change your mind". People do it everyday in regards to a whole range of things... it is your progrative (sp?). Call them back and give them whatever reason you want why you don't want to be part of the team (even if you bs them a little).... it is totally okay. They will survive without you.

    In this "time out" phase... learn more about sales... and how to fundraise effectively/successfully. There MUST be resources on the internet in regards to this (how to fundraise successfully).

    Also.. do not spread yourself too thinly... find one, two ... maybe three "causes" you can support. Organisations (aka "causes") that you believe in and know are run ethically, efficiently, professionally.... and basically deliver results/work. Devote yourself to them and stick to them.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  8. #8
    Veteran Member DJ_Duane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Am I Such A Glutton For Punishment ?

    Here's my latest idea, which is probably better than the way I've been going about it.

    I put a website together, along with links to all the donation pages for the charities I'm helping. Place ads in newspapers and online forums. I let people pick any charity they want to donate to and leave it at that.

    People might check the link, but not want to - for example - donate to an AIDS charity, but may donate to a cancer charity, if given the choice.

    The reason for my decision to keep going? My father.

    In a nutshell, he told me that fundraising for a charity is not all about ME and my hurt feelings. Its about trying to help people who need it.

    He said, "You may try and you may fail. But you tried, son, and that's more than most people can say. You keep trying, but dont forget to take care of yourself along the way."

    Yes, its hard to raise money. But my dad reminded me that its a whole lot harder living with diabetes (which he has), cancer or AIDS.

    Here's the new website, still in its infancy
    http://www.duanebrowning.us/

    Wish me luck. I'm going to need it.

    A few ideas about spiffing-up the website would be appreciated, btw.

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    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Am I Such A Glutton For Punishment ?

    My mother does the Team in Training for the LLS.

    She did a marathon in Bermuda this year. I think she needed to raise 2500....she ended up with over 9k.

    I think I'll be doing it with her this year.

    I guess it depends on who you know and where you live.

    Good luck

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