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Thread: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

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    Default Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    Do you have any regular customers who you would trust with anything inside or outside of the club? The dancer I have been getting dances from, whom I would consider a friend, as she has called me one in the past, will leave her purse on my table when she is on stage as well as leaving her drink with me to watch when she is with other customers. We aren't going out, and probably never will, but we do go out for dinner once in a while, and while we flirt with each other I don't care if we ever have sex. I just find the fact that she is open and honest quite refreshing and that is problably why she has so many regulars. She will tell me about the other customers and what they like when she is giving them a dance, as well as about the other dancers in the club. When I look around the club I don't see too many dancers who would leave their purse and drink with a customer while they are gone for 10-15 minutes. I was just wondering how many other dancers have customers they would be willing to trust like that.
    The first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club.

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    My favorite at the club where i go is the same.,know her car,where she lives,BF stories,etc. She always leaves her purse/drink when she goes to do her stage set.Even knows my wife from when she comes with me.They talk about boring mundane stuff.Sometimes wife calls on cell when I'm there and I put Kat on the phone.They get on wellBut ya,I'd say she trusts me,and its well placed.I'd do anything for her.Unlike Jay,though,I do hope to get with her someday,but if not thats cool.I value her friendship and advice.I tip her best I can on stage,but have never went in back for a dance with her.She never hustles me either.Ever.Never asked me to buy her a drink,or for a dance.She sometimes sits with me for hours,when she dosent feel like workin the floor,we go up to the stage to watch other dancers together,just hang out.I like her alot,and hope it would someday go OTC.Wife says its cause I'm "safe"...whatever that means.Often the other girls will come over and sit with us for a while,they never hustle me either.Frankly its kinda strange,but I like it. Any of you dancers out there have an idea what this all sounds like to you?
    ."A long time ago,being crazy meant something...nowdays everybodys crazy"

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    Veteran Member OPEN's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    I too have 2 diff dancers who do all things mentioned. And I have seen them outside the club, one quite a bit and have been to her apt. out to dinner etc. Just like most things in life there are general rules that should be adhered to, but always a few exceptions and I consider myself to be not the "normal" customer. And I am sure there are several at every club.

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    With anything? NO.

    Pamela

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    I've had several dancers trust me like that including my current favorite. And I've had several tell me that I'm "different" and "safe." I think it's because I'm older, I don't try to feed them a lot of bullshit, and I don't hit on them, I just enjoy their company. I'm probably also a little better educated and a little more well dressed than most of their customers. I actually think it's pretty common for dancers to trust a few of their best customers, especially the younger girls who don't see themselves as professional dancers.
    Friends Of Naked Dancing Ladies (FONDL)

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    Well,maybe the older part is an element,I'm older(43) but then Kat(my fave) is mid 30's.. I really dont make any extra effort to be well dressed,I'm not a stinky pig,but usually just jeans and a t shirt,as I often go in after work.I kinda get the impression that the girls appreciate a guy thats kinda real,not TRYIN to impress em..I'm the guy that always has the jumper cables,the right tool,have fixed shoes for dancers when I'm there,even got up on the stage one night to fix a light fixture that got knocked loose and fell.I've helped out the bouncers a time or two when it got ugly,will give words of "advice" to other guys when they get out of line and the bouncers didnt see it,you know all that kind of stuff....Maybe I'm kinda like Dad or some shit. Iguess its like my little niche in the club.I suppose I sorta like bein part of it as opposed to just another faceless customer.
    ."A long time ago,being crazy meant something...nowdays everybodys crazy"

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    Nope. I don't have many people in real life that I'd trust with anything.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    I'm not sure thats just a stripper thing,Rose, I dont trust too many either.A couple of guys at work,for sure,a few other odd friends.Least of all my wife.Cynicism sux,dont it?
    ."A long time ago,being crazy meant something...nowdays everybodys crazy"

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    Most good regulars have these in-club relationships. There is a lot of trust built up around cash, drinks, schedules, etc. We all look out for each other. It's particularly nice when your ATF or favs are out of town and the other dancers jump in and take care of you.

    I have several dancers leave their purses with me. A couple of dancers dump their money in my lap and we all count it. I will walk some dancers to their cars. I have more cell numbers than I can keep track of. This is not unusual for the regulars who are well-known. No big deal. In fact, there is a hilarous thread on regulars here in SW that will show you that we are all the same. So much for being "special!"

    Oh, and one slight reality check. I am sure you are aware that "being special" is part of the fantasy. Where that line is drawn, and how much is "real," is an eternal mystery, and is in flux for each person. No fun without that.

    None of this in-club activity means that the dancer "trusts you with anything." Not by a long shot. In fact, she shouldn't, and hopefully doesn't. Risk should be managed and minimized. JZ is right on target here, as usual.

    Just as a final thought, you'll find that OTC relationships are a whole different level of trust, and relationships with her family and friends are a whole level beyond that. This is just common sense. Trust inside the club and trust outside are two different things.

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    I don't "trust" anyone...

    I do have a couple customers that I "feel" would never jip me. I will go on stage after giving several dances and tell them that we will catch up after stage and I "feel" they will stay, pay and get more when I return as they always do.... They are regulars that I have had for a couple years and I become used to their good habits...

    As far as drinks, I never leave my drink with anyone and if I do, I don't drink from it when I return or I pretend I'm drinking from it but I'm not....



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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner
    Most good regulars have these in-club relationships. There is a lot of trust built up around cash, drinks, schedules, etc. We all look out for each other. It's particularly nice when your ATF or favs are out of town and the other dancers jump in and take care of you.

    I have several dancers leave their purses with me. A couple of dancers dump their money in my lap and we all count it. I will walk some dancers to their cars. I have more cell numbers than I can keep track of. This is not unusual for the regulars who are well-known. No big deal. In fact, there is a hilarous thread on regulars here in SW that will show you that we are all the same. So much for being "special!"

    Oh, and one slight reality check. I am sure you are aware that "being special" is part of the fantasy. Where that line is drawn, and how much is "real," is an eternal mystery, and is in flux for each person. No fun without that.

    None of this in-club activity means that the dancer "trusts you with anything." Not by a long shot. In fact, she shouldn't, and hopefully doesn't. Risk should be managed and minimized. JZ is right on target here, as usual.

    Just as a final thought, you'll find that OTC relationships are a whole different level of trust, and relationships with her family and friends are a whole level beyond that. This is just common sense. Trust inside the club and trust outside are two different things.
    I notice a lot of dancers having 'personal relationships' outside the club with their customers. Phone numbers, addresses, etc.

    I think that could cause all sorts of chaos; Stalking, rape, etc.

    When I was dancing, I kept my life completely out of the club. I didn't make any friendships and it stayed strictly work. I think there's a line between fantasy and reality, People seem to get the two mixed up at times.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    I understand that this outlook is especially important for a dancer,due to the sexual nature of her job,but to a large degree its probably true for girls that work in any old job.But dancers are still,under it all,regular girls,and often adjust when they feel that they've come to know someone well enough.I'm wondering if this feeling is made more intense by the notion that strippers would have among them a higher percentage of girls that have had it,ah,hard at times in there life and are therefore very guarded.But they would be that way wherever they worked.Does that sound logical?
    ."A long time ago,being crazy meant something...nowdays everybodys crazy"

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseDelight
    I think there's a line between fantasy and reality, People seem to get the two mixed up at times.
    Yes, of course, they do.

    We had a discussion going on last night on this in a different thread. In virtually all cases, "leave the fantasy at the door" is the best advice you can possibly give. It's why we repeat it here so often. It's a business, people, and it's about respect. Keep the limits intact.

    The reality, though, is that we are all people. We end up caring about others or connecting to others in ways that we may not have expected. It's usually a surprise to us. Just to be clear, I am speaking about friendships that occasionally evolve into other things, but they are always about friendships, first and last.

    I don't know how to describe or explain the complexities associated with this and I'm not going to even try. It would take a few novels to do it justice, and I doubt I'd even understand it then.

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseDelight
    I notice a lot of dancers having 'personal relationships' outside the club with their customers. Phone numbers, addresses, etc.

    I think that could cause all sorts of chaos; Stalking, rape, etc.

    When I was dancing, I kept my life completely out of the club. I didn't make any friendships and it stayed strictly work. I think there's a line between fantasy and reality, People seem to get the two mixed up at times.
    Rose, I see how that could happen. I'm not the one really pursuing anything here, my friend is the one that keeps telling me to call her after I have seen her at the club. I normally wouldn't call a dancer outside of the club, but with this person I do it only to see how she is doing and what she is up to. I do think she is looking for someone to talk with once in awhile, as she can only tell her fellow dancers so much. And I am a good listener. I know that dancers usually have to listen to their customers problems, but they also need someone outside of the club to listen to the them. For now, I am glad she would consider me a friend and thats all I am looking for right now.
    The first rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club.

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    Quote Originally Posted by The Other Owner
    The reality, though, is that we are all people. We end up caring about others or connecting to others in ways that we may not have expected. It's usually a surprise to us. Just to be clear, I am speaking about friendships that occasionally evolve into other things, but they are always about friendships, first and last
    I agree,but I think this all applies to meeting a girl at her job anywhere,bank,hardware store,whatever.It just kinda presents a weird dynamic.
    ."A long time ago,being crazy meant something...nowdays everybodys crazy"

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    It's funny you mention that. There's a huge notion that a lot of strippers have had a 'hard life', so they go to stripping. Which in some cases, Hey, That's true.

    I remember having a regular come up to me and try and feel me out. Help me, if you will. He'd try to befriend me, "understand me', all of that stuff. He was an alcoholic, druggy, etc. I guess he figured that since I was a 'dancer'....We probably could be depression buddies, or something. I don't know. I've had a very 'normal life'...Two parents, married for over 30 years, I've never been an alcoholic, or dabbled in heavy drugs, etc. He'd find me, and start talking about his life. His ups and downs......I'd sit there for hours on end listening to this dude. At the end of the night, He'd give me $1,000, or more for just sitting there and listening. This continued on for about two years, Nuts, eh?

    He never knew anything about my life, nor even my real name.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    I think there's a line between fantasy and reality, People seem to get the two mixed up at times.
    This is because too damn many PLs/RILs simply cannot wrap their heads around the concept that true enjoyment of a strip club and its dancers results from having realistic expectations within the unrealistic environment of the club.

    Yes, I say that in every friggin' thread like this, but it's so patently true and yet overlooked by so many, that it bears repeating.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseDelight
    He'd give me $1,000, or more for just sitting there and listening. This continued on for about two years, Nuts, eh?
    Well, not really nuts. It's just called Freudian psychoanalysis. He talks, you listen. He pays you a boatload of money. You take it, with a smile. He goes home, alone.

    It looks like pediatrics is your second rotation after psych!

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer
    having realistic expectations within the unrealistic environment of the club.
    Exactly right. About 95% of the time. Great advice. It's that other 5% that drives you stark raving nuts.

    How's this:

    1. For lap dances, the customers choose the dancers.
    2. For regulars, the dancers choose the customers.
    3. For relationships, the dancers choose everything. Exception: the customers can choose what they drink.

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    I have three ladies who have told me their real names, whether or not they are married or single, and E-Mail me on a semi-regular basis even when I haven't been to the club in a while. Sometimes they will even tell me interesting tidbits about dancers that they work with because they know I won't spread it around.

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    Veteran Member Boobie Monster's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    Quote Originally Posted by primetime21
    Do you have any regular customers who you would trust with anything inside or outside of the club?
    No. Never. EVER. Very few I trust enough to leave my drink with or even my money (always lots of bouncers floating ). But OUTSIDE the club? My name, my home address, etc? HELL NO.

    If regulars think I'm open and sincere, then my ass deserves a fucking ACADEMY AWARD.
    If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
    -George Bernard Shaw

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    I would say that usually, there is nothing that I want to be trusted with....
    I met a dancer a few years ago, and we dated for a while and eventually got engaged and moved in together. Over time, I felt like I really did not want to hear about her work related stuff, which I know is a little one sided, but then we are talking about real human beings and flirting is a large part of that business. Anyway, later she gives up dancing because she is tired of the business and wants to do something different and we stay together another year while she goes back to school. There was some stuff with her that I felt was not 100% honest, and her mom's boyfriend told me that she was spending time with this other guy who was at her mothers house. Now, she told me herself that she spent time with him, and at that point in the relationship, I did not feel threatened. When he told me she was playing me, I really felt like, she is not gonna have it both ways.... So, I broke off the engagement, packed her stuff, and drove her to her mothers. This was about a year ago. She never stopped calling every now and then and sometimes it was just easier to not answer. Well this year in october she wanted to come over for my birthday, so I encouraged her. I let her sleep in my bed but I didn't have sex with her nor did I want to. I don't know how she felt. Anyway, she told me that earlier in the year she was "raped" (her words) by the guy in her mothers house. She then got pregnant and later had a miscarriage. I really feel bad for her because I know how much she wanted to have a child. I felt really, really bad for her about the miscarriage... As far as the other thing, this girl tend to not tell the truth and blames others for her problems, and I don't doubt that she was lit up and teased the guy. She is a very sexual being.

    So, now she is calling as much as ever and does the "i luv u" thing. Well, since she is at her mothers while finishing school, we don't see each other much, but she is talking "around" it. I admit to telling her that I love her, and I mean that in a really caring sort of way.

    So, my friend has wanted to go to this club alot lately, and we go, and this one girl starts talking with me. After a bunch of times of being at the club and talking to her, she leaves a drink next to me and asks me to watch it. When she comes back I say you shouldn't leave your drink with anybody - most of all me! okay, just kidding, not the me part... anyway. So she says I trust you, okay - here is some additional responsibility I am not sure I want... The past few times I have been to the club she comes up and immeiately sits down. It's like I feel like she is slacking off at work... stange... but that is the way I feel. She tells me about her money, her name (unless she is the double-agent type which would be a kind of crafty I want no part of....). So, I feel like, yeah I enjoy her company, I enjoy the conversation, but is this more stuff I don't really want to know. I am still not out of the other relationship completely, but if you ask me, it's not much of a relationship at this point. Also, there is a ton of other shit that I left out, some has to do with obsessive behavior - like ravaging butter and garlic for like an hour at the door of the fridge, bunches of other health related weird shit, like eating stuff she shouldn't and I don't mean fattening foods, I am talking about stuff that could kill her (her mother told me about the bouts they had when she was younger and how they felt they were going to lose her at one point when she was a little girl from this ilness). that kind of stuff...
    So, based on all that stuff, I do not want to entertain a re-enactment of our engagement.

    So what is the deal with just sitting around. I wonder if she thinks she just needs a break. I like talking to her and hearing about her kids and stuff, but even she knows that's not what guys want. like her words about attitude, "if a guy wanted that he could go home to his wife". right, I don't go into a club for attitude and I don't expect anyone to spend time with me if I have one either. I usually go to hang with a friend for little while and take in some of natures wonders. When did I sign up for merit badges?

    Trust is a two edged sword... okay, any comments? insights, gibberish?...

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    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    Yes, I have quite a few customers who I trust and consider to be my friends.

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    I have two very good friends now out of dancers. One I even babysit her daughter for every now and again. (she gets along great with my daughter which helps)

    The other has been on my doorstep crying a few times over the ferals that just go overboard during a dance.

    I consider that to be a good friendship on both accounts (although I do admit, no longer get dances from them, just a rule we put in place for when the friendship becomes more than just dancer/customer)
    My last girl melted in the sun

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    Default Re: Do you have any customers who you would trust with anything?

    Quote Originally Posted by RedZ28
    I have three ladies who have told me their real names, whether or not they are married or single, and E-Mail me on a semi-regular basis even when I haven't been to the club in a while. Sometimes they will even tell me interesting tidbits about dancers that they work with because they know I won't spread it around.
    Classic SS. Many strippers have a stage name, a "real" name and a REAL name. Same with being married/single. Email is a good way of keeping regs interested.



    To answer the question: NO. I don't trust any customer with any details about me. They don't get my REAL name or anything too specific. I never lie about my age or makeup stories, but I leave out all pertinant details. I also don't trust any custies with my drink and I don't trust anyone with my money. I keep it all on me at all times.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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