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Thread: when the boyfriend says no way...

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    Default when the boyfriend says no way...

    I plan on getting into the business soon and ran the idea by my boyfriend and he says no way he wont have it. Anyone relate? Should I say tuff shit to him and risk losing him or understand how he feels and not do it? I can see his point on not liking it but I really want this. I'm sure alot of you women have run across this at some point. We have been together for a year and dont live together.

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    Veteran Member HoneyHITZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    It depends on how you feel for the situation. Is it worth losing him over? My husband was always okay with it, because his sister does it, but i never really got too far into it, only topless waitressing at certain parties. Its all up to you. If my husband didnt really want me to do it, i wouldnt, but if you dont feel like you're in the type of relationship that he has a major impact on your personal and career life, then do what you feel is right. Dont think i helped that much, but only you can make that decsion. Good luck

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    Featured Member noelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    Don't let anyone else tell you what to do. Who cares if he "won't have it", it's YOUR life.

  4. #4
    mermaidnz
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    lol i started dancing just to lose that kind of BF!!

    its your life, live it how you want to. in saying that, if he is more impt then this job, by all means stay with him.

    depends what you value more

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    Banned BigGreenMnM's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    Quote Originally Posted by noelle
    Don't let anyone else tell you what to do. Who cares if he "won't have it", it's YOUR life.
    Yea yea this is the common bravado retort to the question.

    But its not the answer.

    She needs to decide for herself,and for her situation.

    MOST entertainers who enter into this business with a boyfriend,dont keep the boyfriend.Most who aquire a boyfriend while in this business dont keep them either.
    Thats something to think about!!!!!

    If this boyfriend is someone you still want around in 5 years,find another line of work.
    If this boyfriend isnt your soulmate,fuck him,its your life!

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    Why the heck is your boyfriend telling you "He won't have it" ? He doesn't own you, He might sleep with you but he doesn't own you. Make your own decisions. You can't let someone control you. If my boyfriend ever said "You can't do this"...I'd do it anyways, probably for spite and probably for humor on my part. Heh.

    No wonder I am single, Shit.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    I plan on getting into the business soon and ran the idea by my boyfriend and he says no way he wont have it.
    He won't have it?

    What about you? You're the one that's going to "have it," and everything that comes along with this business, good and bad.

    This is your call, not his. He can suck it up, or move on, just like you.

    Two cents.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    Exactly, CO.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    Oh lord, here we go again...

    Get a new boyfriend or capitulate (give in). There ya go...
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    c'mon ninadaisy! where's the DTMFA? ;-)

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    ^ I love it when she does that.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  12. #12
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    hes a bf, not a husband and you are not even living together?

    Um, sweetie. do what you want. Men come and go.

  13. #13
    Senior Member angel22499's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    you nee to make your own decisions. i am in a similar situation though and i know how hard it is. i went out w my man for a year (living together and everything). we broke up and just recently got back. i didn't dance then and if i did he probably would've left me. i started dancing while we weren't together and he knows i did it, but he doesn't know i am still doing it. i am trying this approach... he's not with me because of what i do- he's with me because of who i am and whether he's with me or not... i got bills to pay.

  14. #14
    Back2TheTease
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    Anytime a post like this comes up nearly all of the women get the "dump his ass" motto. This is not an idea that is appropiate for everyone. You have to understand why he is against it, chances are he has been to a SC before, and probably one that was not how you say "up to par". My boyfriend said no for nearly a year, but that was until I found a nice topless gentlemens club.
    He never came into the club, until it was closed in order to pick me up. He got to know my managers, bouncers, and some of the girls that worked there. That is when he started to see "people with lives outside the club" instead of an "negative stripper environment."
    People fear what they dont understand.
    However, as I previously stated every situation is different, I dont know your situation the only thing I can do is provide my opinion.
    I love my boyfriend (even in the worst/strangest of times), but I enjoy dancing too, I didnt understand why I could have both. Now I do, and I do not regret my descion. We have issues, but they are about things that were a problem before and not about dancing.I still have my boyfriend and he know understands that you can dance and still have a life outside of the club. (Eventhough we a still high spending regulars at other clubs, LOL)
    Good Luck

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    Veteran Member Sapphire's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    Do what you feel is right, but think through the pros and cons. I can relate to you in some ways because I had a very close guy friend who wanted me to quit stripping and I did. Well it ended up, he was just a control freak and wanted to control every aspect of my life. That was a few years ago. Now I am married(to a different guy) and he is fine with me dancing and I dance in a fully nude club. I hope this helps. If nothing else, go with your gut instinct.

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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    ^EEEEK! @ the new member's name!!!

    Welcome to the board, Sapphire. (oh I feel so weird saying that)

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    Anytime a post like this comes up nearly all of the women get the "dump his ass" motto. This is not an idea that is appropiate for everyone. You have to understand why he is against it, chances are he has been to a SC before, and probably one that was not how you say "up to par". My boyfriend said no for nearly a year, but that was until I found a nice topless gentlemens club.
    The club is not the issue. Dancing is not the issue.

    The issue is that he is trying to dictate the terms of her employment options because he's uncomfortable with the arrangement, not her. He's not the one that will be dancing, she is. He's not the one being economically restrained, she is.

    A little perspective is an amazing thing.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    This question is asked a lot. Why let a man, or anyone control your decisions in life? I don't understand that. Asking their opinion, or even caring about what they say is understandable. But control? Eh. I'd send that boy packing.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    redhed, hand your b/f all of your bills also let him know you need a substantial bi-weekly allowance.

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    I have never understood why women so often will say things like "my boyfriend won't let me ____________." "My boyfriend won't let me be a stripper" or "my boyfriend won't let me wear sexy clothes." etc etc.

    Usually the person saying this is younger.

    Not trying to generalize, but I don't get it. Does your boyfriend own you? If you want to do something and they are not on board, then the two of you simply aren't right for each other. This will manifest itself later in other issues as well. Move on.

  21. #21
    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    I think it's out of fear of losing the person you're with. Don't you realize how much of your respect you lose by having someone 'control you'? As as woman, That's one of the most important things that we have.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  22. #22
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    What, having a man? That's one of the most important things?

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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    self respect, dipshit.

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde
    What, having a man? That's one of the most important things?
    Respect is one of the most important things we can have.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  25. #25
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: when the boyfriend says no way...

    if that's the case, then why do so many women allow a man to kill that self-respect? To some women, a man IS the most important thing they can have.

    And it's not dip-shit, it's dumb ass.

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