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Thread: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

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    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    Okay. I figure this would be as good a place as any to get opinions on this. I'm having all of these issues with the relationship I'm in. I'm just wondering if you're with the right guy do you just know it or will there always be problems you have to work through? I finally found an honest caring man and I'm just not sure it's right and I don't know if it's just that I don't know how to have a real relationship or if it's really just not right. I'm so confused. So how do you know if you're with the right guy (or girl)? What's a good long-term relationship supposed to be like?

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    Hmmm. Interesting question.

    Even if he's the right guy, You're still going to have your 'issues'....He might be the right person but he's only human. I go back and forth with my relationship a lot because I know this man is the person I am suppose to marry and have a life with. If I ever commit to him, That'll be it for me. But I am only 24 years old, and I am not completely ready to make that big of a leap yet.

    I know he's 'right' for me because the happiness I feel when I am with (around) him is better than anything I've felt in my life. He sees me for me, and understands me more than I ever thought anyone could. I've known him for 24 years and til this day, He walks in a room and I get butterflies. If the world is against me, I know he'll still be standing there. He's been through it all with me and he's never broken stride. With all of that said, We still disagree about a lot. But wouldn't it be boring to have someone that agreed with you about everything?


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    Well I'm not looking for Mr. Right....but it shouldnt be any different from finding Mrs. Right.


    Its never PERFECT....there will always be things to work through....always...but these should be rare.

    IMHO it should be very close to perfect. I still think I'll just know it when I find that person. Like Rose said....im too young to be thinking about finding that person right now. If I find them maybe I wont think I'm too young anymore...who knows. Maybe it will take me many more years and many more relationships to find "the one".....so be it....im no settling ever again.

    No one can tell you what a good long term relationship should be like for you...everyone does their own thing. But you should at the very least be happy most of the time and you should be benefitting in some ways from teh relationship. No one should bring you down AT ALL....no one should make you unhappy very often....and no one should be a burden in your life.

    I think you'll know when it comes....and dont settle for anything less than everything you've ever wanted until it comes.


    What do I know....most people will say I live in a fantasy world.


    P.S.-sounds like you found a good one Rose

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    Focus less on finding Mr. Right, and just work on Mr. Right Now.

    As RD noted, it will become self-evident if you can drop the temporal qualifier.

    Two cents.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    My two cents...

    There is this myth out there about "soul-mates." That there is ONE person in the world that one is MEANT to be with. This is nonsense. It's a romantic notion that is false. There is also a myth that once you've fallen in love with someone, that's it...no more romantic feelings can ever be felt for anyone ever again.

    My point?

    There is no perfect person. No matter who you end up with, that person will not have everything that you will ever want in a mate.

    So, you've got to cover the major bases. For each person, those will be different, but a few that most people seem to look for-

    1-Do you share a "life philosopy?" In other words, do you both agree on things like children, how to live (slow paced, fast/high energy, etc), MONEY, religion, general politics....anything that you base your personality on, the other person should at least match somewhat.

    2-Are your personalities compatible? Fighting a lot is not good.

    3-How do each of you feel about spending time away from each other and doing your own thing?

    4-Are either of you the jealous type? Jealous people are not usually great partners, IMO.

    Just a few things...you probably need to come up with your own list, determine what's important to YOU, and decide how well this man fits into what you want in a mate. Little things...no big deal (He likes to stay up late and I'm a morning person, for example).

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    I think there are soul-mates. I don't believe it's just one, entirely. Life is long and can be beautiful, You're going to be walking along and find many people you connect with.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    How you know if you've found Mr/Ms Right: You won't have to ask.


    There could be a million reasons why it's not right: You're not ready, he/she isn't right for you, both aren't ready, too many issues, etc etc etc. In any case, IMO, it's just not right. Of course I'm not talking about petty issues - I'm talking about big things like he can't deal with your job, you don't agree on prime subjects like abortion, child-bearing/rearing, religion, etc. Not minor things like you prefer eating out and he prefers eating in.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    Well, I guess part of my problem is I was so sure my boyfriend was the guy for me. I live with him now and have been with him for about 2 years which is the longest I've ever been with anyone. But we just aren't in agreeance about a lot of things like money, religion, children, etc. I guess it's not a simple issue. I'm just scared if I break up with him I'll regret it because I do know from experience there are a LOT of Mr. WRONGS out there! It's not like some decision I have to make today, but I just know that there are a lot of things that are getting to me.

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    You shouldn't stay with someone just because you fear you won't find someone decent again.

    "Big issues" are important. Religion, children, etc. I think that's one reason why the divorce rates are so high because people tend to leave out these issues. He wants children, She doesn't. He wants to raise the children up Catholic, She wants to raise them up being agnostic. You wouldn't think this could ruin a couple but it can. You're not going to agree on everything but discussing things through and through helps out a lot.


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    God/dess MojoJojo's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    It takes an average of 4 years to surpass all "honeymoon" sensations and move into the true heart of your feelings and his feelings of relationships. After that, you begin to discover just how deep the love is.
    "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
    -Humphrey Bogart

    "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
    -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
    "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
    -His reply

    "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
    -David Daye

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    How do I know if he's Mr. Right???

    Ask me again in a few months.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    How did it go, OTB?


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    Yay!


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    I know!!!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    I agree with RD. You can't stay with someone because you think you'll never meet anyone else. First of all, that's a bad basis for a relationship. Secondly, you will find someone else.

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    Mr. Right is the one guy who will be totally into me, as I am into him. Respects me, cares about me, & wouldn't harm me in anyway. He's your Best Friend....your other half. The person who you cannot be w/o.

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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    There is no Mr. Right.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

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    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    God/dess kryssy's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    I have my Mr. Right already. We truly love each other deeply. We can "read" each others minds, know when the other needs something (even just a hug), are honest with each other, and we hardley ever fight. When we do "fight" it is never with raised voices or nasty words.

    Also like the others have said don't stay with someone out of fear. Fear is what you have right now. Fear of starting another relationship, fear of being without him, and fear of knowing yourself.

    Just my Opinion though

  20. #20
    Pamela
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    Gosh the question asked reminds me of Van Halen's song, "When it's Love." "It's just something you feel together." How i have used that song many times! Lol. But it may not last forever.


    Pamela

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    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    I defer to the philosopher king, Al Bundy, who once said, "It doesn't matter which one you pick, it'll be the wrong one".

    So, I wouldn't pay attention to me.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    God/dess tiamaria's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    When you can't get enough of him and you get excited from the thought of him and you loan for him to ask you to marry him and spend the rest of your life with,You feel satisfied and content just lying next to him.

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    Veteran Member DeepGreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    I met my wife about 16 years ago. If you had asked me then if she was the perfect match for me I probably would have said no. If you ask me today I will tell you I can't imagine a more perfect person for me. How do you know if the person is Right? For me, it's that week after week, month after month, the relationship gets better and stronger. Each year, she (or he) becomes more a part of you...until you can't imagine life without them. It's not about not finding anyone better...because over time you realize that there is nobody better. I have no idea whether there is only one perfect person out there for everyone, but I know I've found the perfect person for me.

    That's how I know anyway...
    There's only us. There's only this. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss... --RENT

    Do not taunt happy fun ball.

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    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    Quote Originally Posted by DeepGreen
    I met my wife about 16 years ago. If you had asked me then if she was the perfect match for me I probably would have said no. If you ask me today I will tell you I can't imagine a more perfect person for me. How do you know if the person is Right? For me, it's that week after week, month after month, the relationship gets better and stronger. Each year, she (or he) becomes more a part of you...until you can't imagine life without them. It's not about not finding anyone better...because over time you realize that there is nobody better. I have no idea whether there is only one perfect person out there for everyone, but I know I've found the perfect person for me.

    That's how I know anyway...
    I think you said it beautifully. You just described my relationship to a T.

    How do you know if you have found Mr. Right? As Bridgette mentioned, you wont have to ask. You will feel like you are on every time you see him: Just the sound of his voice will give you butterflies... etc
    You will miss him when he isnt around, you'll miss him even when he is in the next room, and you'll sometimes feel like your heart is going to explode. I am not exaggerating, either. Sometimes I get this feeling that is so amazing...
    He says he loves me so much it hurts, and I agree. Its the feeling I just mentioned...


    ahhh to be in love with someone



    I love you babe!!!!

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    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you know if he's "Mr. Right"?

    Aww, Lexi!


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



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