Thank you everybody for your empathy. I think I had a little meltdown there. But I still feel the need to delete the evidence. But thanks a lot. It was appreciated.
Thank you everybody for your empathy. I think I had a little meltdown there. But I still feel the need to delete the evidence. But thanks a lot. It was appreciated.
Last edited by Jenny; 12-10-2004 at 01:27 AM.
I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth
This industry can become an adidiction. Most people who haven't worked in the sex industry don't understand it, only people in it can understand. I didn't understand it before I started but after quitting over and over again I always found myself going back. I'm going back at the end of this month but this time its because i'm in college and i do need the money and the flexable hours.
"And Bill, lamenting how you never see a positive drug story on the news..."Today, a young man on acid realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration and that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and you are the imagination of yourself. Here's Tom with the weather...!"- Bill Hicks, The Greatest Comedian Ever!





Yes, I think that the industry can be confusing and it can make you take a hard look at yourself. I had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into when I started. Damn was I dumb?? But, now that I plan to go back and make all the money I can an try to have fun I think my experience will be much more fullfiling.
you live like an ivy vine
you can only survive by clinging onto trees
that's your flaw
put down some roots so you can stand on your own
-Kenpachi
I worked as a dancer for two years. I had to force myself to quit. It became 'my drug', I guess you could say. My personality started to change severely, I felt drained emotionally/physically, and everything in my life felt destroyed in some ways. I felt as if I couldn't trust anyone but yet I was also extremely satisfied by the rush of everything. I'd be in a club until 6 am, Come home and sleep....Go back at it. This life I was living was completely different than my normal life. On a normal day, I don't have hundreds of people judging every single thing about me. I don't have to pretend to be something I am not. I can just be "Rose".....
It became very conflicting. Should I live my normal (every day, and sometimes mundane) life? Or Should I live in this 'fantasy' world where I can be everything and anything except this person?
Til this day, I go back and forth with my decision to quit.
Point being: I've been where you are. Most dancers have. You just have to sometimes listen to that inner voice that's rambling inside your head at full speed.
--Georg Christoph Litchenberg
While I've never been a dancer I've contemplated it but never had the nerve. I have had other jobs that I've totally hated though. Now I have one finally that I like and hope to have a while. But I'm not really me at work either. I try to keep my personal self from my work self because I have clients to deal with that I must make happy. Some are cooler than others and I can let myself be myself a little more but some are really uptight. I know what you mean about feeling like one day you'll be too old and I am feeling that fear somewhat though maybe not in the same way since I am 32 and love to dress up when I go out. One of my friends though recently referred to me as "the old lady at the rave" and it made me wonder if I will know when I should jsut start wearing nothing but clothing from Talbot's. I did get carded the other night and have a bar tender tell me she thought I might only be 18 so I guess I'm not that old yet though. I never thought I'd be 32 and next thing I know I'll be 40 but I'm just going to take good care of myself and do the best I can to look good and be happy.
Jenny i don't know how old you are, but i am 42. And how do you know when it may be time to stop dancing? When you no longer make money. At least that what will let me know. I started dancing at 21! I have a real job at a hospital. as well as do my private parties and work for an escort co. Why? Because i can. And i LOVE being a girl (then) and woman (now) who works in the adult industry! Oh i forgot,i do phone sex alot to0, i nap between calls! Yep i work day and night, not a day off.
I will tell you something that is VERY true. I am more in demand now than in my 20's or 30's!!!! Because i am an a WOMAN who has learned how to please men in this business. I may stop in a few years. Damn woman i attract 20 year olds! Alot of young guys LOVE women! This young guy older women thing is now starting to peak!!!
Ps ..to break out, do it straight up, no cutting back. Because i know, money is the motivator above all in this field.
I will enjoy being an adult entertainer all i want, and a demand is there for me NOW. Right now it has peaked! I LOVE it!
Hang in there babe, i know i am bouncing all over the place here, but damn if i can do it, other women can too. I don't want to be the only one.![]()
I WON out about 15 other GIRLS at a bikini contest! 1 year ago! They seemed to be in their 20's, some 30's!!!! Why? because i have confidence and get down!!! It's all a state of mind, how you feel reflects on any job.![]()
Don't mean to brag, but hang tight....Do what you want, always!!
Pamela




I feel the same way lately...only thing keeping me going anymore is the need to finish my college degree and the damn bills that keep coming in the mail every month. I have always had a love hate relationship with dancing. Part of me needs that rush from the stage and that attention and the ability to be someone/thing else other than my boring ass self. The other half hates and resents the fact that I have to take my clothes off to make a living for my family. I wish I could go back to a normal life and be free of all the disgusting ass stereo-types and lies that are said about dancers. I still look youthful right now even at 29, but that same fear lives in me too. I always hear the clock ticking.
I can relate. I know exactly what Rose is talking about in regards to the high you feel. I know that feeling all too well..
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