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Thread: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

  1. #1
    Senior Member northy's Avatar
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    Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    Ever had one of those days ?????


    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

    Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

    Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

    Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

    Wellhung: OK

    Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

    Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

    Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.

    Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

    Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

    Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

    Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.

    Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

    Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

    Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

    Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

    Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

    Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

    Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

    Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

    Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

    Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

    Sweetheart: What?

    Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

    Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

    Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

    Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

    Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

    Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

    Sweetheart: What's the matter?

    Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

    Sweetheart: Are you OK?

    Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

    Sweetheart: Can I help?

    Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

    Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

    Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

    Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

    Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

    Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

    Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

    Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

    Wellhung: I found it.

    Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so
    badly.

    Wellhung: Me too.

    Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.

    Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

    Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses?

    Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

    Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

    Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

    Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

    Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

    Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

    Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

    Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

    Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my
    way.

    Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

    Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

    Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

    Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

    Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

    Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

    Sweetheart: What?

    Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

    Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

    Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

    Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my
    underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

    Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray,
    picture frames and your candles.

    Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

    Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

    Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

    Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

    Sweetheart: <logged off>

  2. #2
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    That was good.

    Did you write that? Whoever wrote it, they did it well.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  3. #3
    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    Not as good as my Pirate one

    Whatever happened to that guy

    "AAARRRGGGHHHH"

    I wonder if anyone remembers that.

  4. #4
    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    yeah, I've read that before.... always makes me laugh

    Quote Originally Posted by AinNY
    Not as good as my Pirate one

    Whatever happened to that guy

    "AAARRRGGGHHHH"

    I wonder if anyone remembers that.
    aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhh!!! I's rememberrrrrrrrrrrr

  5. #5
    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    I FOUND IT....AHAHAHAHAHA

    <MICK_SW> hey]
    <AinNY_SW> hey cutie
    <MICK_SW> how old r u
    <AinNY_SW> 24
    <AinNY_SW> you're 18 right?
    <MICK_SW> yeaz
    <AinNY_SW> where from?
    <MICK_SW> ur a dancer?
    <MICK_SW> indiana
    <AinNY_SW> yeah
    <AinNY_SW> i love it
    <AinNY_SW> dancing is like my passion
    <MICK_SW> thats good
    <AinNY_SW> id like to dance for you
    <MICK_SW> where u from
    <AinNY_SW> NY but i can travel
    <MICK_SW> can you
    <AinNY_SW> yeah
    <AinNY_SW> i love to travel
    <AinNY_SW> what would we do if i came to visit?
    <MICK_SW> iu love dancers
    <AinNY_SW> ok so what would we do cutie?
    <MICK_SW> whatcha sayin
    <MICK_SW> u got pics
    <AinNY_SW> im sayin if i came to indaina
    <AinNY_SW> what would i do
    <AinNY_SW> i mean what would we do?
    <MICK_SW> u can dance
    <AinNY_SW> of course
    <AinNY_SW> for you?
    <MICK_SW> what dfo u look like
    <AinNY_SW> im about 5'8"
    <AinNY_SW> 115lbs
    <MICK_SW> yes 4 me
    <AinNY_SW> i have green eyes
    <AinNY_SW> and long blonde hair
    <MICK_SW> cool
    <MICK_SW> ne pics?
    <AinNY_SW> yes
    <AinNY_SW> but i want to know you first
    <MICK_SW> send me 1
    <MICK_SW> o oik
    <AinNY_SW> i will send you some later
    <AinNY_SW> if i like you
    <MICK_SW> ok
    <AinNY_SW> so would you like me to dance for you topless?
    <MICK_SW> u have aol
    <AinNY_SW> no aol
    <MICK_SW> o
    <MICK_SW> yea at first
    <AinNY_SW> oh thats sexy...so what after that then?

    MICK_SW well

    <AinNY_SW> would you be excited? from that?
    <MICK_SW> yea
    <AinNY_SW> how big is it baby?
    <MICK_SW> tellme
    <AinNY_SW> i dont like dancing for guys with little pee pees
    <MICK_SW> how do u dance
    <AinNY_SW> i dance slow and sensual....sometimes i look a litte retarded cause my fake
    leg gets in the way
    <MICK_SW> u will like this
    <AinNY_SW> that doesnt bother you does it?
    <MICK_SW> nah
    <AinNY_SW> i lost the bottom half of my left leg in an accident
    <AinNY_SW> im still really sexy
    <AinNY_SW> it was a bad farm accident
    <MICK_SW> yea
    <MICK_SW> what happenecd
    <AinNY_SW> but it lets me get in really good positions
    <AinNY_SW> you'd like it
    <MICK_SW> yea
    <AinNY_SW> you can get a good view
    <AinNY_SW> youd like me to straddle you with just my thong on right?
    <AinNY_SW> strddle your face?
    <MICK_SW> yea
    <AinNY_SW> hows that smell sweety
    <AinNY_SW> does my scent turn you on? i dont wash often cause the guys say i smell so
    sweet
    <MICK_SW> mmm
    <MICK_SW> u feel me
    <AinNY_SW> mmm...yes big boy
    <AinNY_SW> i forgot to mention i have a patch over one eye
    <AinNY_SW> from another accident....but its sexy too
    <AinNY_SW> you think its sexy?
    <MICK_SW> heres a dollar in my zipper
    <MICK_SW> yea
    <AinNY_SW> but it works with my theme....i love the pirate fantasy
    <AinNY_SW> i like to pretend im a pirate
    <MICK_SW> uhhuh
    <AinNY_SW> cause you know i have a fake leg and a eye patch
    <MICK_SW> ok
    <AinNY_SW> the guys usually love it
    <AinNY_SW> can i get that dollar with my teeth?
    <MICK_SW> i do
    <MICK_SW> anyway u want
    <AinNY_SW> i want you to whisper something in my ear to help me get off with you
    <MICK_SW> ok
    <AinNY_SW> say "ARGH"...like pirate style
    <AinNY_SW> i love that
    <MICK_SW> ok
    <AinNY_SW> say it
    <AinNY_SW> i want to hear it
    <MICK_SW> argh
    <AinNY_SW> mmmmm
    <AinNY_SW> yes
    <AinNY_SW> i love it
    <AinNY_SW> such a turn on
    <AinNY_SW> now im going to take off my thong ok?

    MICK_SW wow

    <MICK_SW> mmm
    <AinNY_SW> i pull it down slowly revealing my nicely shaved pubes
    <AinNY_SW> do you like it baby?
    <MICK_SW> y\ea
    <AinNY_SW> let me know how much you like it....
    <AinNY_SW> Pirate voice please
    <MICK_SW> argh
    <AinNY_SW> louder...say AAARRRGHHH MATEY
    <MICK_SW> im ur slave
    <AinNY_SW> say it
    <MICK_SW> walk m y plank
    <AinNY_SW> say AARRGGHHH MATEY
    <AinNY_SW> do it for me
    <MICK_SW> aaaaaaaaaaaaargh
    <AinNY_SW> mmm yes
    <AinNY_SW> im so excited now
    <MICK_SW> r we alone
    <AinNY_SW> I pull down my thong and expose myself to you....then I cocksmack you in the
    face with my big 8" dick.....AAARGHHH MATEY....say it
    <AinNY_SW> say it for me baby
    <MICK_SW> do what
    <AinNY_SW> AAAAAAAAARGH
    <AinNY_SW> wait you're not a butt pirate?

  6. #6
    God/dess A_Guy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    Quote Originally Posted by AinNY
    *crazy pirate shit*


    lol... that was a nice one A... keep up the good work matey.. arghhhhhhhhh

  7. #7
    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    No, BloodNinja is the best series of this genre. My personal favorite lines:

    Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
    Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
    Boy: I see shit nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.
    Girl: WTF?!?!?
    Boy: They stink really bad.
    Girl: OMG STOP!!!
    Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
    Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
    Boy: I ram it up your ass.
    Girl: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
    Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
    Boy: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
    Boy: I kick you in the face!
    Girl: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
    Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
    Boy: Your parrot flys away.
    Boy: ...going limp again.
    Boy: Hello?
    Boy: Say it!
    Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
    And one set for the nerdy geeks among us:

    bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14: Aight.
    bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
    bloodninja: Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
    bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14: Hey...
    bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
    bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    bloodninja: Baby?
    Gots to love the Bloodninja.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  8. #8
    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    the pirate one had me laughing so loudly my wife came into the room all "WTF?"

    also got a chuckle out of "Level 8 Cock Of The Infinite"
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

  9. #9
    Senior Member northy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    more bloodninja

    BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
    eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
    BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
    eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
    BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
    BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
    eminemBNJA: Oh shit
    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
    eminemBNJA: Oh shit
    eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

  10. #10
    God/dess RoseDelight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    LOL, That's hilarious


    --Georg Christoph Litchenberg



  11. #11
    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    That's from Baiting.org!! I love that site.
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    Quote Originally Posted by AinNY
    Not as good as my Pirate one

    Whatever happened to that guy

    "AAARRRGGGHHHH"

    I wonder if anyone remembers that.
    LMFAO A.. I remember that well! AAARRRGGGGHHHH!

  13. #13
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    lol...that last bloodninja one had me laughing my ass off

  14. #14
    God/dess Gynger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    I've seen the first one somewhere before.. I laughed my ass off the first time I read it and had forgotten about it... Thank you!


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  15. #15
    Featured Member CrescentLuna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    Here is another example of some other fine Baiting.org-style convos
    http://www.baiting.org/Logs/NYCockExchange/98***7080/

    cunded2000: cool
    cunded2000: go ahead will they get me a pic of you naked
    cunded2000:
    cunded2000: a beautiful body like your's need to be showed off to get it full appreciation
    NYCockExchange: Okay... the five magic words are: "LET ME SUCK YOUR COCK."
    cunded2000: oh that is so easy you didn't really have to ask...i'll love you to suck it dry
    NYCockExchange: No, dammit - those are the five magic words you have to tell me.
    cunded2000: that sound so gay....how about let me eat you pussy
    NYCockExchange: Are you trying to change my magic words? What's that all about? Don't you have any respect for my preferences?
    cunded2000: ok you win....let me suck your cock
    NYCockExchange: Okay! Great. Say it again, throw a "please" in there somewhere, and everything will be great.
    cunded2000: please let me suck your cock
    NYCockExchange: Heh. Well, okay. Since you asked so nicely.
    cunded2000: what you are doing now....fingering yourself
    NYCockExchange: Kinda... but what you call, "fingering yourself", I call "jacking off"!
    cunded2000: ok bet that pussy is so wet and sweet tasting
    NYCockExchange: Well... jacking off doesn't exactly get my "pussy" (read: asshole) wet, or sweet tasting. How about if I spread strawberry jam around my anus? That would take care of both of those things, and then you could rim me as I jack off!!
    cunded2000: hold on this is not that girl on the pic
    NYCockExchange: Huh? Where the hell did that come from?
    NYCockExchange: Is it normal for you to stop right in the middle of sex, and say: "Wait a minute! You're not a pre-teen, white female, you're one of the ugly niggers that I work with!! What are you doing in my bed??! AHHHH SHIT!!!"
    NYCockExchange: See, the problem here is that you're paranoid.

    ^ my bf thinks I'm insane for finding this kind of stuff funny. I don't know why.
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    HAHAHAHA,this is some great sh*t!!!!!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  17. #17
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Adventures in cybersex........ Eroticism gone wrong

    Worst cybersex time imaginable is when she says she is 25 and you believe it.
    Then after you she stops responding suddenly....
    you get this message in the IM box

    " creep why are you talking this way to my 15 yr old daughter?
    I'm reporting you right now
    click "


    Sorta takes all the fun out of it.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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