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Thread: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

  1. #1
    242_fair
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    Default Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    Hi ladies,

    I need some tips. I have a very good regular cusomter whose spent about $3000 since we met at the club. He seems nice, I know what company he works at (called him there a few times), he seems like a nice family guy. So after the last time he came in and spent another wad on me, I finally agreed to go out with him for lunch.

    In the same visit he asked me what I want for christmas, and I said an 'i-pod'. He called me yesterday and asked me out for lunch next week, and said that he got me the present I wanted!

    So I'm going out to lunch with the guy. But basically I want this 'outside the club' thing to be a one-time experience, and then move our visits back in to the club.

    Any tips from your experience about what to do / not do when seeing a regular outside the club, no sex (obvioustally)... any experiences that might help me avoid weirdness appreciated too!!

    PS: I think he knows I have no intention of having sex with him after lunch... but of course he's gonna try the whole 'lets go to a hotel so you can dance for me' or some shit - any tips???

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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    Quote Originally Posted by 242_fair
    Hi ladies,

    I need some tips. I have a very good regular cusomter whose spent about $3000 since we met at the club. He seems nice, I know what company he works at (called him there a few times), he seems like a nice family guy. So after the last time he came in and spent another wad on me, I finally agreed to go out with him for lunch.

    In the same visit he asked me what I want for christmas, and I said an 'i-pod'. He called me yesterday and asked me out for lunch next week, and said that he got me the present I wanted!
    Not to swap topics on ya,but this looks like a great place for a BigGreenMnM fishing tip of the day.
    Always "Chum"when fishing for sharks or marlin.
    "chumming"is when a fisherman spreads hookless bait around in the water in an attempt to attract the lil fishy.They save the big chunks of "chum"to spread around the real "bait"they will soon be using.
    When he has them "attracted to the "chum",he tosses in a piece of ipodbait in the middle of it that has a hook in it.
    The lil fishy should eat up all the "chum"and stay away from the hook baits,specially small ones.
    The goal of the fisherman is to catch the fish,regardless of how much chum or bait is needed to land the fish.
    Stuffed and mounted or catch and release,either way,the fish got caught.
    PS: I think he knows I have no intention of having sex with him after lunch... but of course he's gonna try the whole 'lets go to a hotel so you can dance for me' or some shit - any tips???
    When fishing,the intent is to catch a fish.
    Yes you may enjoy the company,the sunshine,and the nice cool water,but the bottom line intent it to catch a fish.
    It might cost alot for fishing equipment,it might take alot of time,but eventually,most will catch a fish if they just dont give up.
    So I'm going out to lunch with the guy. But basically I want this 'outside the club' thing to be a one-time experience, and then move our visits back in to the club.
    Nope sorry,its done when you break the fantasy.
    You cant step into the same river twice.

    Going out to lunch with him changes your job title from entertainer to escort IMO.I have no problem with either,but i do think there is a difference.

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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    Errmm.. maybe some other girls can give some tips about it, but in my experience, once customer comes to expect something outside the club, he isn't going to be a customer much longer. You can keep going to lunch and getting gifts, or whatever, and fending/putting off hotel room offers or whatever, but he isn't going to be a club customer anymore [or much, at the least]. It isn't so much that if you'd never agreed to see him for lunch he would've happily kept on seeing you in the club. Had one customer that came in a lot and spent a nice bit each time, finally gave me his #. I never called and he never showed up again. I asked another dancer about it, and she was like "yeah, he stops coming in if you don't call and stuff." So, basically, he felt he was at the point where it was either take it a step further than inside the club, if I didn't go along, boom, no more customer. [I need to call him from the club, actually, I need to return a book before I move away]

    Not an experienced guess, but you can try being like "I'm really sorry, but I was just uncomfortable there, I think I should just stay in the club, so sorry."
    "I still have my name
    I still have my face
    I have not run away from home
    Doesn't seem so long
    If I now embrace
    Every single thing I've never known"

  4. #4
    242_fair
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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    Damn, so you both think that I've passed to the point of no return? This surely blows.

    Any other tips from anyone who sucessfully saw a custie outside the club, and was able to return the relationship to the club???

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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    I have heard stories about girls going to luch with guys to make a littl extra money. Like they would really have lunch or dinner. I went to dinner with a guy once and it was a HHUUUGGGEE mistake (ie newbie mistake) !!!!! Never doing that shit again. I didnt do anything extra just ate with him. He was a regular and it changed everything. He thought we could take a trip, go to the snow, go to a movie...uhgh no I didnt want to do that . He thought we could have more than outside the club. Eventually he spent less money on me and was drunk all the time when he came into my club (FYI it was a juice bar).
    So, NO I am sure it is not a great idea. He will always want more of you.
    And if you dont take my advice then please be carefull.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    It really depends on the customer. I have one regular customer who will come in one or maybe two nights the one week a month I am booked at the club. He will buy 10-15 dances from me and the same for a co- worker friend of mine when she is booked the same week as me. He will also buy a double private show from both of us at $200 apiece, and occasionally buy us lunch. He also will call maybe once a week or so just to say hi. I have been dealing with him for about a year and a half.

    The reality is that we have no control over these guys. When a guy feels that there is no future or satisfaction to be derived from visiting us in the club and dropping money, he will be history.

    Dancing for a customer outside the club is not a problem if you are dealing with a customer who understands there will be no sex. A going rate of $200 for about 45 minutes is fair.

    I have another customer at the same club who is ironically friends of the guy I mentioned above whose wife caught him going to the club and he is under her watchful eye.

    So he will when possible drive into town and just get a private show from me rather than go in the club. Last month he made arrangements to see me and his wife had emptied the bank account causing him to have to cancel, and he sent $200 via his friend to give me at the club because he felt bad.

    Another guy at this same club who seems to be very wealthy and who is married,since my birthday and Christmas are 2 weeks apart, bought me a 10 inch screen portable DVD player which with case and warranty was $567, and had me meet him at the mall giving me diamond earrings which cost $850, and then he came in the club the same night, bought 13 dances from me, and gave me $200 cash in an envelope. He never asked me for anything sexual, at least not yet.

    You just have to play guys by ear. If your customer wants lunch fine, and if he is pushing for more, and has grown tired of the club experience, leave it alone. You have already banked off of him.

    Some of these guys if they are older really want the companionship of a sexy lady and someone who ACTS interested in them and is a good listener. They may buy dances or a show, but as my customer says he really enjoys my personality.

    You got some good cash and a new computer. If you can keep the communication going, have lunch once in awhile and he still will come in the club, great.

    If not, everytime you use that computer you'll see the fruits of your labor.

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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    Of course it depends on the customer. Thank you, Tina. Excellent points.

    Rather than get into a long complicated discussion of OTC dynamics, how about this:

    Choose an open public place for your lunch. Make plans for something else right after lunch. Suggest that a girlfriend tag along for the lunch date itself. If the guy is interested in your friendship alone, he'll have no problem with any of this. It will also establish some safe barriers for you until you know him a lot better.

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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    I used to go to lunch with customers, but I stopped because they came to expect it regularly and bothered me too much. Also, some of them would try to play up the lunch like it was a real "date" by trying to hold my hand across the table or saying something inappropriate when the wait person was in ear shot so they could feed their ego. I was putting in way too much effort for something I really didn't enjoy.

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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    I dunno, I'm probably not the best person to ask but I'll tell u anyway. I agree with Tina, it depends on the guy and I agree with The Other Owner-bring a friend or set something else up after lunch but here's my two cents-8 times out of 10, you're not coming out of this easy.

    So here's my one time good experience-I went out with a guy who was older and had a lot of emotional problems-he was going through a divorce, lost his job and had a serious drug addiction. I explained to him each time we went out that I needed to be compensated for my time because there are other things I could be doing (like working) so he would pay me to just hang out with him because he was so lonely and in was also trying to seduce me. Eventually, he's realized that we're not going there. He'll still throw little flirty comments and stuff when we hang out but we've evolved into more of a friend thing now-we talk, we go out to eat and I still give him the same advice about a lot of his same problems. We just don't hang out when I need to be at work. But don't get me wrong-he's cool as hell. If I need money and he's got it-he'll give it to me in a heartbeat. Sure, he'll want me to hang out and bullshit with him, but I know that if I was in a fucked up situation, he'd come through 'cause he's not really a customer anymore-he's kind of a friend. But that's ONE experience.

    I'll tell you, sweetie-I've went through numerous experiences of trying to jerk a guy from the club for his doe and it's not happening. When he takes you out, he's trying to rendezvous you and make you is little young play thing/sugar baby and eventually smash. If you don't give up the buns, most times you will lose your customer unless you have something exceptionally rare about you or keep him around long enough to manipulate the situation. I've had older guys take me to nice dinners, shopping, etc. but you just got to remember-NOTHING IN LIFE IS FREE. Eventually, he's going to want something more. This one guy, we'll call him Bob-took me shopping in the village, out to eat at nice places and drove me where ever I wanted to go when I lived in NY and was dead broke last year. But he also wanted me to go dance for him for free at his crib and would talk ask me about my favorite sex positions and ask me how I liked it when we'd be in the middle of eating at a diner? Wtf?! I never gave him the free private and he stopped calling.

    I encourage you to be aware of the consequences. And think how much you really know this person, care to know about this person because obviously he's taken some interest in you if he's spending 3Gs at the club and taking you out to lunch. (I hope he paid you for your time during that lunch as well.) Think if you could see yourself really getting along with this guy as a person and trying to get in 'the friend zone' as Chris Rock put it instead of the stripper/private dancer/sugar baby area. In my experience, that's the only way it's worked.

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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    Again, I am new... But speaking as a single guy who sees marraige as "The Brass Ring" I don't get these "family guys" who spend so much time and money at clubs and then also want private dances. And the wife had to drain the bank account? How good of a marriage is that? Or have I just answered my own question?

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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    242: My ATF went to lunch once with a great guy who had been spending huge on her for a while. It was against her better judgement but he kept asking and she finaly relented. They went out, had a great time at a nice restaraunt and left in seperate cars. The next time the guy visited my ATF at work he told her that she was too good to be a dancer and that she should be his girlfriend. She nicely told him that she needed to work to pay her bills and he dumped her, never spent anoter dime on her and found a new fav in the same club.

    Just my 2 cents, I've had many successful OTC encounters so I know it can work but, in my experience, more often than not it's the begining of the end as far as getting money out of this guy in the club after that lunch.

    Hope it works out.
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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    I have a regular that I've partied with as friends OTC (no sex), and did a private session with (no sex). He still spends on me in the club, but only like $100 at a time, which is as much as he ever did. So there isn't a huge financial investment on his part. If your guy has invested 3k, there is more than "fantasy" on his mind.

    But of course I would hope he never got me a gift. Presents from PL's are just a sign of doom. That being said, I did receive a free Ipod once myself, but it was from a friend who was a PL in my real life and trying to win over my love....

    I think Tina's post was dead on, as usual. Please take her advice.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  13. #13
    242_fair
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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    I guess it boils down to this: he was interested enough that I could have gotten about $1000 more, or possibly much more, by just putting off the 'outside the club' meeeting.

    Reading the comments from the other girl's experiences (tried to hold hand across table, talked about sex...) makes me realize that the only danger here is not just getting kidnapped /etc. I might just not be able to put on a good show outside the club, ya know, get into charachter....

    Also, though I have no problem dancing for a married man in the club, outside the club 'encounters' - (though obvioustally without sex) would really feel like home wrecking.

    Sometimes me so stupid...

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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    Quote Originally Posted by pimpy718
    Think if you could see yourself really getting along with this guy as a person and trying to get in 'the friend zone' as Chris Rock put it instead of the stripper/private dancer/sugar baby area. In my experience, that's the only way it's worked.
    Interesting concept. Young guys see "the friend zone" as a waste of time. Older guys might see it differently in certain circumstances. Pimpy gave a good example of a life crisis situation.

    In general, there are two tracks:

    1. Customer, regular, lunch date, sex date, sex date, sex date, done.

    2. Customer, regular, lunch date, friend zone, can't get it up during dances.

    In track 2, he might still pay for convo time even if he doesn't get dances. In track 1, you just have to decide where to stop, because he's probably going to find another favorite in the club and might not even say hi anymore.

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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    Dunno about that one Sportsster..I've never had a problem w an OTC getting it up...my own man...that's different...guess he's tired of the same ole pussy...why I'm home now...

    Ladies...they all get bored..........

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    I know you dont want to hear it, but IMHO, going out to custys is a bad idea. True, thera are instances where the man really does just want to be friends, but most of them want more. These men are not completly stupid, if they make you think that they want to have sex with you REALLY bad, of course you arent going anywhere with thm. So they do the whole interested, but want to be friends thing. In general, going out sith custys ruins your money. If I were you I would call him the day of the date and cancel. Tell him anything. Tell him a kid is sick, you are sick, mom is sick, anything you can think of. Tell him your mom is a few hours out of town and got her car stolen with her purse in it and you need to go get her. ANYTHING believable. that will hold it off for a while. Come up with excuses as long as you can unitll it doesnt work anymore. That should keep him in the club, and then you dont have to go out with him.
    As far as custys that work out wven when you go out with them. It can happen. I know a girl and the custy as well. She meets himm outide of work all the time. He thinks they are together, he gives her all kinds of money and she doesnt sleep with him. But this guy is a complete moron!!!!
    I had a custy, although I never met him outside the club, he is probably the only one I would have agreed to ... He spent AWESOME money. But I knew he just wanted to be friends, not only did he never but dances, he would just give me money to hang out with him, but he was celebit and had been for like 13 years. I wasnt worried about him trying to get me in bed. He only really asked to go anywhere with me one time, when he offered to bring me and my bf to Hawaii because he had a vaction home ther and had a vacation coming up and didnt want to have to go to Hawaii by himself. We didnt go, I go to school, but had it not been for that, both me and my bf probably would have went. Oh, My bf used to dj at that club at that time so they knew each other.

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    Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    maybe I just see things the wrong way...I love going out for lunch or dinner with a dancer! but for me its the chance to have dinner with a beautiful , fit , interesting babe! maybe its because im 42, but I know for the girl its just a chance to get a meal and chat with someone...different. I never have yet expected more than dinner, and as for dances....the intimacy is even better!
    Ive always felt that it was just a chance for the dancer to get away from thte same ol, same ol...besides we are both interesting people....she a dancer...im a scuba instructor....we're both odd!

    but gifts???? that'll be crossing the line! then things change!

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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    Quote Originally Posted by deepbubbles
    but gifts???? that'll be crossing the line! then things change!
    Greetings and welcome to the forum.

    If not paid for by both(dutch)
    Then the dinner or lunch is actually a gift.
    Exactly what you say is crossing the line.

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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...


    Errmm.. maybe some other girls can give some tips about it, but in my experience, once customer comes to expect something outside the club, he isn't going to be a customer much longer.
    Very true.



    I do not recommend any dancer see any customer outside the club for two reasons. First one is explained in the quote above. The second is it is illegal in most places due to the nature of the business.



    In short, it is just not worth the risks.

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    Default Re: Experienced Dancers - help! Having lunch outside da club...

    Any other tips from anyone who sucessfully saw a custie outside the club, and was able to return the relationship to the club???
    In a word, NO ! Meeting with customers outside of the club is an evolutionary step, pure and simple. It can either evolve into a genuine relationship (highly doubtful) or it can evolve into an escort situation (which is what the customer is expecting 99.9% of the time). Either way, once you take the evolutionary step, it will permanently affect the dancer/customer relationship both inside and outside of the club.

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